Restraining order ???

[Artemis00]

How do you spurn his attention? If you are being nice about it, he won't get it.


Have you tried making a scene about it while there are other people around. Like really raising your voice, calling him a psycho, telling him to quit harassing you...things like that and making it known that you don't know this guy. Sometimes that is all it will take for him to move to an easier target...which it sounds like that may be the reason he is giving you the attention...you may be too meek. I agree with Lisa...assertiveness training may be what you need.

If he really is crazy, restraining orders have a tendency of just escalating the crazy aspect of a person. Plus that paper won't protect you.

[SqueezeMe]

How do you spurn his attention? If you are being nice about it, he won't get it.


Have you tried making a scene about it while there are other people around. Like really raising your voice, calling him a psycho, telling him to quit harassing you...things like that and making it known that you don't know this guy. Sometimes that is all it will take for him to move to an easier target...which it sounds like that may be the reason he is giving you the attention...you may be too meek. I agree with Lisa...assertiveness training may be what you need.

If he really is crazy, restraining orders have a tendency of just escalating the crazy aspect of a person. Plus that paper won't protect you.

I havent been nice to him at all for probably two months.
The problem is he likes it when I treat him bad. He said so himself, the more I resist the harder he chases. Im kinda getting conflicting advice. People telling me to ignore him as much as possible. Then others tell me otherwise. I would probably start with a police report. If he still escalated then the restraining order. The report is more to protect me legally.

[kimm4]

Completely ignore him. Don't make eye contact, don't answer him and or talk to him period. I don't care how big a guy is. If any guy ever touched me, put their hands on me, etc...without my consent...they would be walking away with a fukin broken arm period.

[sy2502]

Completely ignore him. Don't make eye contact, don't answer him and or talk to him period. I don't care how big a guy is. If any guy ever touched me, put their hands on me, etc...without my consent...they would be walking away with a fukin broken arm period.

Basically this. He shouldn't be touching you. Period. If he does, you say as loud and firmly as you can "I don't appreciate you touching me. Don't do it again". Make sure people around you can hear you loud and clear. If he gives you any crap you say, equally loud and clear, "I will report you to the gym management and have you thrown out if you don't stop harassing me immediately." Again, make sure people around you hear you. This should get some people's attention. If he still doesn't leave you alone, go straight for the gym management. On the spot. Tell them that gym member has been harassing you, making inappropriate comments and unwanted physical contact. Tell them you expect these things are not acceptable in a gym. If possible insist one of the gym people walk with you to that gym member and tell him to stop. Stay there and make sure he doesn't try to twist things (like "we know each other, we were just joking around" or crap like that). Gyms don't like other members to think harrassment is tolerated in their gym. They lose customers that way.

That's the best I can come up with.

[Artemis00]

I havent been nice to him at all for probably two months.
The problem is he likes it when I treat him bad. He said so himself, the more I resist the harder he chases. Im kinda getting conflicting advice. People telling me to ignore him as much as possible. Then others tell me otherwise. I would probably start with a police report. If he still escalated then the restraining order. The report is more to protect me legally.

Agree 100% with Sy and Kimm's responses.


But really, give some examples of how you have rejected his unwanted advances in the past. I mean you are being a bit vague beyond ignoring him and wearing head phones. Can you explain the situation where you were the most force full with trying to reject him. You know, like what did you say?...how loud were you saying it?...were you drawing the attention of others?

We are giving advice blind here. I mean last Friday I saw a guy harassing a girl on a dance floor. Had she explained the situation to others, she would say she was rejecting him and he was being a creep. But what I observed was that she was rejecting him in a cute sort of way, smiling, laughing, but also flipping him off. Basically giving him a lot of conflicting signs. When this guy came over to my friend, she gave him a look and put her hand out as if to keep him away...well he didn't bother my friend cause she gave him a clear sign that there was no interested. And had he continued, it would have escalated until he was hurting.

[SqueezeMe]

I wasnt forceful. I told him to leave me alone. The first time he did with no problem. A couple weeks later he was back. Told him again. I dont know how long or if he will stay away this time. I try to be as neutral around him as possible. For example, I would walk past him as if he werent there. He would literally run after me. I would still ignore him.

He also said he was never chasing me. Mind you he has made comments about my body, what kind of porn he likes, and has tried to get me to his place. He says I got the wrong impression. Im not sure if he was lying or really that mentally unwell.

He would also park next to me then claim he wasnt stalking me. There were times when he would wait in his car for me while I was walking. The last time I saw him he had timed it perfectly. I was at the end of the bridge close to the cars. He just happened to be in that area close to the cars.

I have never made a point to meet him. We have never met for the express purpose of going for a walk together.

[Madi-J]

This:








And if that doesn't work, this:

[FlyWeightPhenXX]

jeez louise...

I would see if other guys are around who mirror the schedule or almost mirror and then buddy up; buddy system never fails.

I'm sorry you have to put up with this Class A creeper; Restraining orders don't do very much unfortunately since I've known a few gals who've had restraining orders and it didn't really work.

I second the assertiveness training;or buddy up with some other women he's not likely to face them like that.

Agree 100% with Sy and Kimm's responses.


But really, give some examples of how you have rejected his unwanted advances in the past. I mean you are being a bit vague beyond ignoring him and wearing head phones. Can you explain the situation where you were the most force full with trying to reject him. You know, like what did you say?...how loud were you saying it?...were you drawing the attention of others?

We are giving advice blind here. I mean last Friday I saw a guy harassing a girl on a dance floor. Had she explained the situation to others, she would say she was rejecting him and he was being a creep. But what I observed was that she was rejecting him in a cute sort of way, smiling, laughing, but also flipping him off. Basically giving him a lot of conflicting signs. When this guy came over to my friend, she gave him a look and put her hand out as if to keep him away...well he didn't bother my friend cause she gave him a clear sign that there was no interested. And had he continued, it would have escalated until he was hurting.

These social situations people will feel that they're entitled to persist.Girls too, I've met this one wrestler who kept getting harassed by this one chick until one of the guys told her to lay off.

[SqueezeMe]

This:








And if that doesn't work, this:

Lolz
Angry faces werent working. Maybe ill try this.

[sy2502]

IMind you he has made comments about my body, what kind of porn he likes,

Hell no. See the way I see it, I am only obligated to be polite to people until they stop being polite to me. After that, I unleash every swear word I know.
And I know a lot.
In several languages.

[cphunter70]

i lol'd when i read this but makes sense. http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...post1125979913

My tips and they do work:

Always wear headphones. I put them on as soon as you leave the car. Never take them out for a second.
If you want to try wearing a baseball cap and pull it over your eyes or a hoodie with the hood on
NEVER make eye contact with people. I always look at the floor or a spot on the wall or my ipod/phone between sets... even just the icons on my phone just to have something to rest my eyes on
Never smile or look friendly. I have BITCH "angry" face on when I walk in the gym.
Turn AWAY from people. Between sets if someone is right next to me I will sit facing the SIDE so they can just see my back if they look over. Turn away from people if they are annoying or even if they aren't. Like if I am between sets and someone walks over to my area I turn away from them and they get the point that I don't want anything to do with them.
If I do accidentally look back at someone "staring" for whatever reason I will have a look of "WTF u looking at bish?" in an aggressive way... trust me, they get the point.

I have done this before when someone looked at me and it annoyed me;

I will SLAM the weight back (if you are squatting slam it in the handles or deadlifting slam it on the floor) and stare directly back at the person who is staring at you. They will get the fukcen point....

Also, you must be very friendly that you "let" and "allow" people to hit on you. I have my headphones on and if someone comes up to me and tries to talk to me I DO NOT TAKE OUT MY HEADPHONES and I do not start talking to them. I just simply say 'I AM BUSY" with my headphones in and never take them off. Therefore a conversation never starts and they do not get the chance to say whatever they want to say. It could be that they are not hitting on me at all, maybe they want to give me advice or ask me a question. The point is that I don't give a shiet and don't have fukcen time so they can F off no matter WHAT the reason is...

Simply refuse conversation and say you are busy and continue what you are doing. I don't give a crap if people at my gym think about me so this works for me. Don't ever think you have to be "polite" and that it's "rude" if you don't talk back. You are not obligated to humor anyone at the gym.

Also doing stuff like looking aggressive between sets and punching your fist into your palms etc and just looking mean etc seems to help.

[GreekyBeth]

Buy a portable taser. The first instance he approaches you and opens his mouth, drop him. When he's writhing on the ground start screaming at the top of your lungs, and wreck his nuts with multiple heel kicks. Then jack his face up too. You won't go to jail. He will.



** I think I need to let out some rage.

[SkinCoffin]

Ignore him, don't even look at him or acknowledge his presence. Earphones help. If you must interact, be as mean and cruel as you possibly can.... I just abuse the **** out of people like that and they eventually go away. I'd punch him in the nuts if it was me. but that may be illegal or something....

[sy2502]

Buy a portable taser. The first instance he approaches you and opens his mouth, drop him. When he's writhing on the ground start screaming at the top of your lungs, and wreck his nuts with multiple heel kicks. Then jack his face up too. You won't go to jail. He will.



** I think I need to let out some rage.

LOL, you are worse than me!!!!


Seriously though, I checked all the laws before buying my taser, and it's not a light matter either. You are supposed to call the cops immediately after you use it, and even if you don't, the taser cartridges contain tiny pieces of paper with a unique code so that they can tell whose taser fired, and they can still come after you.



Now, pepper spray on the other hand....

[acrawlingchaos]

You won't go to jail. He will.

I'm pretty sure your wrong, nor would I recommend resorting to violence.

[SqueezeMe]

I'm pretty sure your wrong, nor would I recommend resorting to violence.

Right. Besides it wouldnt look good to the police hitting an old man. I dont think he is a physical threat unless he is armed. This is where paper trail comes in. Since he seems to have disappeared for now, paper trail and violence are only hypothetical.

Im hoping he is moving on to another target.

Something similar happened at another park. Seriously thinking about getting a male escort.

[SqueezeMe]

Ignore him, don't even look at him or acknowledge his presence. Earphones help. If you must interact, be as mean and cruel as you possibly can.... I just abuse the **** out of people like that and they eventually go away. I'd punch him in the nuts if it was me. but that may be illegal or something....

At first he he friendly to me. Even then I would have my earphones in and sometimes be on my phone but he would still talk. He would basically have a conversation with himself.



What happened was I kinda sorta listened to him a few times. He mistook my friendliness for romantic interest. I thought it was pretty obvious I wasnt interested in him like that(hes probably about 30 yrs older than me), but boy was I wrong.

[Madi-J]

This is why I don't talk to people in real life. Like ever. lol. Unless they are waitstaff....have to be nice to waiters or they f*ck with your food.

[MusclePunisher]

At first he he friendly to me. Even then I would have my earphones in and sometimes be on my phone but he would still talk. He would basically have a conversation with himself.



What happened was I kinda sorta listened to him a few times. He mistook my friendliness for romantic interest. I thought it was pretty obvious I wasnt interested in him like that(hes probably about 30 yrs older than me), but boy was I wrong.

So its an outdoor park? Like ppl can run/walk on? Is there a specific time or is it a class? Why is he always there when you are?

If its a class, tell the instructor(if they're assertive and have control of the class). If its just a free for all park, id bring a male friend a few times (a big, mean looking guy), who can tell him to **** off or the next time you complain to him he'll break pervos legs with a baseball bat.

Otherwise. Next time he approaches dial 911, and start talking right in front of him. "Yeah, i have a man following me around the park"

Or make a scene. Yell at him. Call him a pervert. "How dare you talk to me like that!!!" I am not interested in you! Somebody call the police, this man wont leave me alone!!

[SqueezeMe]

This is why I don't talk to people in real life. Like ever. lol. Unless they are waitstaff....have to be nice to waiters or they f*ck with your food.

Yes lol.
I started off in food service, and I can say 100% there is always that one crazy person who will spit in your food! lol

[SqueezeMe]

So its an outdoor park? Like ppl can run/walk on? Is there a specific time or is it a class? Why is he always there when you are?

If its a class, tell the instructor(if they're assertive and have control of the class). If its just a free for all park, id bring a male friend a few times (a big, mean looking guy), who can tell him to **** off or the next time you complain to him he'll break pervos legs with a baseball bat.

Otherwise. Next time he approaches dial 911, and start talking right in front of him. "Yeah, i have a man following me around the park"

Or make a scene. Yell at him. Call him a pervert. "How dare you talk to me like that!!!" I am not interested in you! Somebody call the police, this man wont leave me alone!!

It's a bridge, but it has a walking track. He's there when I am because hes stalking me lol. He has it timed well enough to where I'd be at the end of the bridge and there he was. He'll wait in his car if he had to. I started going a bit earlier.
I think I'll just hire somebody to keep a look out for me. :/

[sy2502]

It's a bridge, but it has a walking track. He's there when I am because hes stalking me lol. He has it timed well enough to where I'd be at the end of the bridge and there he was. He'll wait in his car if he had to. I started going a bit earlier.
I think I'll just hire somebody to keep a look out for me. :/

2 words: pepper spray

[Madi-J]

So is this the only place to exercise in your area? Just wondering why you didn't start avoiding that place entirely when he started going creeper.

[MusclePunisher]

It's a bridge, but it has a walking track. He's there when I am because hes stalking me lol. He has it timed well enough to where I'd be at the end of the bridge and there he was. He'll wait in his car if he had to. I started going a bit earlier.
I think I'll just hire somebody to keep a look out for me. :/

You should have said this from the beginning. This is a level no amount of assertiveness will solve. See if you can convinve a cop to accompany you one day. The charges wont stick, but it may scare him away.
And yeah file a report so they know who the guy is.

If he ends up doing something really weird, that record will help the cops see that their is history.

[Madi-J]

You should have said this from the beginning.

Post #8: "This actually happened at a bridge where I work."

[MusclePunisher]

Post #8: "This actually happened at a bridge where I work."

No the fact that he waits in a car. Times his whole day around her. Thats serious stalking, not no schoolboy crush.

[SqueezeMe]

So is this the only place to exercise in your area? Just wondering why you didn't start avoiding that place entirely when he started going creeper.

Actually, it's not. There is actually a place much closer to me, but I also had a stalker there which is why I moved to the bridge. Can't win lol
I go to the one closer to me more often now. Other stalker is gone, I guess. Smh.

[Madi-J]

No the fact that he waits in a car. Times his whole day around her. Thats serious stalking, not no schoolboy crush.

Gotcha. She's had to repeat the whole situation a few times since the thread was posted....I really hate redundancy. Carry on.

[Madi-J]

Actually, it's not. There is actually a place much closer to me, but I also had a stalker there which is why I moved to the bridge. Can't win lol
I go to the one closer to me more often now. Other stalker is gone, I guess. Smh.

Ah, a semi-clean slate! Now just remember, don't look at anyone unless you plan on scowling.