Restraining order ???

[SqueezeMe]

Has anyone had to file a restraining order against someone? More specifically that person was harassing you where you exercise? Did you have to find a new place to exercise?

[Karl_Hungus]

Has anyone had to file a restraining order against someone? More specifically that person was harassing you where you exercise? Did you have to find a new place to exercise?

Yes, a woman once asked me if I was done using a piece of equipment, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was really asking if she could play tonsil-hockey with my applebag. I immediately called the police and I am still in therapy over the incident.

[kimm4]

Yes, a woman once asked me if I was done using a piece of equipment, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was really asking if she could play tonsil-hockey with my applebag. I immediately called the police and I am still in therapy over the incident.

I should have never left that note on your car.

[sonti]

Well, there are a few things to consider first-

What happened when you told gym management?

What exactly was the harassment?

What happened when you told this person to leave you alone?

Do you know this person outside the gym?

There are a few different steps to take, those questions are relevant.

[acrawlingchaos]

Has anyone had to file a restraining order against someone? More specifically that person was harassing you where you exercise? Did you have to find a new place to exercise?

I am absolutely astounded....

(searching for appropriate meme and/or gif)

[Bigdumogre]

Is it a permanent or temporary order of protection?
Does it state distance?
Is there a exemption in it for gym?
Does gym management know?

[sonti]

I don't think there is an existing order yet.

TBH even if you got one OP (and that is very dependent on circumstances), I've never seen an RO which included the gym as an exception unless you were an employee (it generally prohibits your residence, school, and place of employment). ROs including recreational locations generally do not exist, although they do sometimes if that is the location of the offense. It is not necessarily legally protected (so if he is in the gym when you are not, it's generally fine). Of course, a gym has the right to ban a member too.

[SqueezeMe]

Well, there are a few things to consider first-

What happened when you told gym management?

What exactly was the harassment?

What happened when you told this person to leave you alone?

Do you know this person outside the gym?

There are a few different steps to take, those questions are relevant.

This actually happened at a bridge where I work. No gym management to help. I'm open to anyone's story though.

Cliffs:
*Man started out friendly, turned into making comments about the arse and teddies
*would find ways to touch me accidentally on purpose
*would ignore him and keep my EARPHONES in but he would chase me, literally
*he's in his 50s/60s and has gf and I told him i dont want to date period but he kept trying to get me to his place
*I have told him to leave me alone twice. First time he stayed away from me for a few weeks. I'm scared he'll be back again.

[SqueezeMe]

Just to give everyone a better idea of what i'm dealing with-

He accused me of telling his gf that he was chasing me. Problem? His girlfriend lives in JAMAICA.

He also said he was not trying to chase me. Mind you he said he wanted to kiss me, was telling me what kind of pern he liked, trying to get me to his place for a 'foot rub,' and commenting on my figure.

He is very cray-cray.

[Footballa_19]

I have never gotten men like this, **** would never happen in my gym, he would have gotten his ass beat by now from some self respecting guy. That sucks OP, I hope he's just a perv and not crazy or anything, hard to tell between the two anymore. Hopefully you can get it resolved easily, have you told him to F off yet? Maybe had a guy friend say he was your bf and try some intimidation? I've done that for girls before and it's worked well.

[acrawlingchaos]

Do you really not know how to handle this yourself? Is this your first "adult situation"?

[SqueezeMe]

I have never gotten men like this, **** would never happen in my gym, he would have gotten his ass beat by now from some self respecting guy. That sucks OP, I hope he's just a perv and not crazy or anything, hard to tell between the two anymore. Hopefully you can get it resolved easily, have you told him to F off yet? Maybe had a guy friend say he was your bf and try some intimidation? I've done that for girls before and it's worked well.

Ive told him to f off, but he didnt listen the first time.

[SqueezeMe]

Do you really not know how to handle this yourself? Is this your first "adult situation"?

I know you are trying to be sarcastic, but no. Actually, I moved from another park because a guy would smack my butt as I walked by. I was close to getting an order tgat time, too, but he apologized and quit.

Some women really do have to struggle with harassment on a regular basis.
Obviously, I already know what I may need to do. I was searching for women with similar experiences. *rolleyes*

[sy2502]

Restraining orders are pretty serious business. Did you discuss it with gym management first?

[mrshester]

Enroll in a self-defense course and a carry permit class if that's an option where you are. I have had a couple of men act like your creep and while it sounds like a joke to many people, it is incredibly intimidating and can make you paranoid. Especially if the creep is a good bit larger than you. There are men out there who will not take no for an answer. Learn to defend yourself and then shut the f@cker up yourself.

[bizarrosaurus]

Restraining orders are pretty serious business. Did you discuss it with gym management first?

This. I would discuss it with the gym management first and foremost.

I don't know why people are being such an ass about this btw. Good luck, pervs are one thing but if they keep harassing you, that's something entirely different.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I suggest professional help so that OP can learn to assert herself adequately.

There are many women in very real danger under very real threat everyday. And for someone to use the Court's time with a frivolous application such as this is just wrong.

[mrshester]

Besides, a RO is just a piece of paper. If you do end up in a serious situation, it won't do jack.

[SqueezeMe]

Restraining orders are pretty serious business. Did you discuss it with gym management first?

This is actually occuring at a bridge walk which is doubling at a public rec area.

[SqueezeMe]

I suggest professional help so that OP can learn to assert herself adequately.

There are many women in very real danger under very real threat everyday. And for someone to use the Court's time with a frivolous application such as this is just wrong.

I have told him to eff off twice. He even told me the more I resisted the more he wanted me. Ive already asserted myself on multiple occasions.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I have told him to eff off twice. He even told me the more I resisted the more he wanted me. Creepy!

If that is the basis of your argument before the Court, your Application Record will be brief.


And really, that is not asserting yourself. You could benefit from some assertiveness training. You may well find it gives you the skills (and the confidence) to better handle yourself in this types of situations.

[SqueezeMe]

Enroll in a self-defense course and a carry permit class if that's an option where you are. I have had a couple of men act like your creep and while it sounds like a joke to many people, it is incredibly intimidating and can make you paranoid. Especially if the creep is a good bit larger than you. There are men out there who will not take no for an answer. Learn to defend yourself and then shut the f@cker up yourself.

Thanks for the ideas.
I will look for some classes. I hate to consider violence, but if he doesnt leave me al O ne I wont have a choice. :/

[SqueezeMe]

If that is the basis of your argument before the Court, your Application Record will be brief.


And really, that is not asserting yourself. You could benefit from some assertiveness training. You may well find it gives you the skills (and the confidence) to better handle yourself in this types of situations.

Ive decided that if he tries to contact me im going to file a report mostly to protect myself legally in the long run. What some stalkers do is go to court and accuse the victim of harassment. You are right that I would need to build a case. I hope it doesnt get that far.

Im trying to tell you this guy is off his rocker. He accused me of being in communication with his gf who lives in another country. I dont know this guy personally and certainly do not know his gf in jamaica.

What im trying to say is some guys dont take no for an answer. He even said the more I resisted the more he wanted me.

[mrshester]

Thanks for the ideas.
I will look for some classes. I hate to consider violence, but if he doesnt leave me al O ne I wont have a choice. :/

I don't like having to consider it myself, but if my having a small firearm on my person is going to prevent a greater act of violence against me or my children, I would not hesitate to utilize it. Sex trafficking is becoming a serious problem, so we NEED to be educating and empowering our young women and young men. Not trying to scare you and not saying it will happen...but it is happening far too much. We have a beautiful young woman from our area whose birthday has recently passed and they are still looking for her. Taken from her own driveway. Better to be prepared and never have to use it, than to not be ready and come face to face with something like that.

[sy2502]

I don't like having to consider it myself, but if my having a small firearm on my person is going to prevent a greater act of violence against me or my children, I would not hesitate to utilize it. Sex trafficking is becoming a serious problem, so we NEED to be educating and empowering our young women and young men. Not trying to scare you and not saying it will happen...but it is happening far too much. We have a beautiful young woman from our area whose birthday has recently passed and they are still looking for her. Taken from her own driveway. Better to be prepared and never have to use it, than to not be ready and come face to face with something like that.

I wish I had a Carry Concealed Permit. I carry a knife, a taser and pepper spray. I feel better having them with me. OP I spent my teenage years in Sicily where harassing women is the local sign of manhood. I am talking being groped in public by grown ass men when I was as young as 13. I have developed a "don't fukk with me" demeanor. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's your fault you are being harassed. Pigs and creeps exist unfortunately and while we try to weed out that particularly unfortunate gene pool, us women need to know how to deal with them. At the end of the day these guys are cowards, they'll go for the easier target. If you have been targeted by harassment several times, maybe you want to consider what signals you are giving off. Again, please, let me repeat, I am not blaming you for being a victim of harassment. All I am saying is there are things one can do to be a less attractive target, and it has to do with attitude. You need to project an image of a woman who's not scared and will take care of herself. Good luck to you.

[cphunter70]

Ive decided that if he tries to contact me im going to file a report mostly to protect myself legally in the long run. What some stalkers do is go to court and accuse the victim of harassment. You are right that I would need to build a case. I hope it doesnt get that far.

Im trying to tell you this guy is off his rocker. He accused me of being in communication with his gf who lives in another country. I dont know this guy personally and certainly do not know his gf in jamaica.

What im trying to say is some guys dont take no for an answer. He even said the more I resisted the more he wanted me.

Having a male friend or gym partner nearby is helpful in these cases. My female gym partner says no one talks or checkout out her creepily when im around

[SqueezeMe]

Sy,

Ive had guys catcall and harass me but none so persistent. And ive never had one have delusions like this one (that im talking to his gf whose in another country). Im scared she will dump him and he will retaliate against me.


My main problem is I go alone. Most women go with their bfs. I just dont have a guy to go with me.

You know whats funny? The more aloof I seem the more guys have given me attention Iin general. This guy is just a more extreme example. I have a K. Stew mean mug plus earphones and its not working. :/

[cphunter70]

Sy,

Ive had guys catcall and harass me but none so persistent. And ive never had one have delusions like this one (that im talking to his gf whose in another country). Im scared she will dump him and he will retaliate against me.


My main problem is I go alone. Most women go with their bfs. I just dont have a guy to go with me.

You know whats funny? The more aloof I seem the more guys have given me attention Iin general. This guy is just a more extreme example. I have a K. Stew mean mug plus earphones and its not working. :/

Approach one of the males that seem trusting in the gym. Preferably the big quiet guy and ask for help. You can make a friend in the process.

[SqueezeMe]

Approach one of the males that seem trusting in the gym. Preferably the big quiet guy and ask for help. You can make a friend in the process.

Thank you, cphunter. This time its happening at a bridge/rec area. Ill still look out for guys who can help.

[sy2502]

Im scared she will dump him and he will retaliate against me.

I feel for you, I really do. It's a crappy situation for real.

My main problem is I go alone. Most women go with their bfs. I just dont have a guy to go with me.

We shouldn't need to go around escorted to keep the creeps at bay. Personally I would tase the crap out of his nuts, but that's just me
Or maybe not, he may like it!

Best of luck to you, stay safe.