What men need to know about womenz.

[mrshester]

I did not lift back then like I do now so I avoided those kinds of convos. I did a lot of light weight, high rep stuff. My dad used to comment that I shouldn't be going but he's like a paranoid drama queen so I let it go in one ear and out the other. Lol

You keep it up!!! You'll have an amazing delivery and easy recovery!!

I'm not going quite as heavy as I was, but still get a good workout. Everybody thinks they know best...all I know is, I took it easy last time, didn't push myself too much (not at all, actually), and felt and looked like CRAP. I was miserable and gained 40 lbs to my already 30 lb overweight frame. Sexy time happened maybe once a month after I got into my 7th month. It was so difficult to even do that and it almost drove me crazy (I love our sexy time) THIS time, I'm lifting what I want to, but being smart about it (my squat is about 75 lbs, about half what I was doing before but this feels good) and making sure I take plenty of time in between to rest and keeping water on me at all times. I'm still feeling amorous and hubby isn't scared to help me out, LOL. And I feel GREAT! And I look much better than I did before, and that's coming from other people. Going for totally unmedicated birth again this time with my awesome midwife, so I know these squats are definitely gonna pay off, LOL

When my wife was preggers the thing that irritated her the most (and me, by proxy) were when strangers would come up to her (typically old women) and pat her belly. The first time it happened I was like 'WTF?' and I asked the lady 'do you know her?' before my wife could say anything. My wife told me that it happened a few times.

I still have a hard time fathoming how such a thing happens.

LOL! I usually let little old ladies get by with it, just like I don't mind them cooing over my son...it does their old hearts good and I like seeing their faces light up Now, everyone else...I've started rubbing bellies back. Don't matter if i know them or not...you rub my belly, Ima rub yours, LOL. I've gotten a few red faces that way, LOL

OMG, the prank you could pull could be epic.

Prior to the gym, sneak one of those little baby dolls in with you. Put it in your pants and make sure that when the time is right, you can set her loose. Then get in the squat rack, load up some light weight, and go all the way down - stay in the hole (so-to-speak) and make some groaning sounds. Shake the little baby doll lose and start screaming.

Film his reaction.

Youtube video of the year.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm not sure I could get away with that since we're not owners anymore....but that definitely be epic!

[sy2502]

You should never ask a woman if she is pregnant. And you should NEVER follow up that question with "Are you sure?"

LOL priceless!!!

[SkinCoffin]

When my wife was preggers the thing that irritated her the most (and me, by proxy) were when strangers would come up to her (typically old women) and pat her belly. The first time it happened I was like 'WTF?' and I asked the lady 'do you know her?' before my wife could say anything. My wife told me that it happened a few times.

I still have a hard time fathoming how such a thing happens.



Chocolate can be bad for you - wine on the other hand, why you're just trying to relax!

It's not my fault that it takes two bottles to properly relax....

If a stranger tried to touch me, pregnant or not, I'd end them.

Two bottles is a nice amount of wine... *would rather be drunk and fat, than just fat*

[Zedonkgirl]

In for the chocolate...and I'm not even upset.

[latebloomingmom]

In for the chocolate...and I'm not even upset.

me either but it depends really...that could always change

[SqueezeMe]

Here's when it's safe to ask...

[LisaSkinnoble]

Did not read 3 pages, but saw this on the e-webz.

1. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting me in mood than humping my leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on me as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.

2. If I’m getting ready to start my period or I have my period while we are arguing and you don’t have chocolate in hand, you’re basically swimming with sharks while bleeding – nice knowing you.

3. My retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want me to return the favor.

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that I shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call me a nag or I’ll hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

5. If I’m acting crazy, remember, I didn’t choose to be born with hormone induced rage blackouts, but you chose to marry me. So who’s the crazy one here???

6. Remember you’re going home with me so stick up for me to your mother OR ELSE.

7. I have yet to meet anyone who has died of a cold. Not really a rule, but just some food for thought…

8. If you want me to stop talking, acknowledge you heard me, and I’ll shut up (maybe).

9. I get an “I’m right” trump card that’s good for 5 years times infinity for every human that emerged from my body. Game. Set. Match. End of argument.

10. Even when I actually am being a crazy bitch, always remember that I’m your crazy bitch, and you know you LOVE me.

[mrshester]

Did not read 3 pages, but saw this on the e-webz.

1. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting me in mood than humping my leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on me as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.

2. If I’m getting ready to start my period or I have my period while we are arguing and you don’t have chocolate in hand, you’re basically swimming with sharks while bleeding – nice knowing you.

3. My retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want me to return the favor.

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that I shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call me a nag or I’ll hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

5. If I’m acting crazy, remember, I didn’t choose to be born with hormone induced rage blackouts, but you chose to marry me. So who’s the crazy one here???

6. Remember you’re going home with me so stick up for me to your mother OR ELSE.

7. I have yet to meet anyone who has died of a cold. Not really a rule, but just some food for thought…

8. If you want me to stop talking, acknowledge you heard me, and I’ll shut up (maybe).

9. I get an “I’m right” trump card that’s good for 5 years times infinity for every human that emerged from my body. Game. Set. Match. End of argument.

10. Even when I actually am being a crazy bitch, always remember that I’m your crazy bitch, and you know you LOVE me.

Bahahahaha!! This is great!

[sy2502]

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that I shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call me a nag or I’ll hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

Quoted for truth. Seriously. Oh and while Lisa will eventually give you your balls back... I won't. I'll hang them over the fireplace with the others.

[mrshester]

Quoted for truth. Seriously. Oh and while Lisa will eventually give you your balls back... I won't. I'll hang them over the fireplace with the others.

When you get enough of them, you can put them in an empty coffee can and shake 'em. Kinda like maracas

[cowboybiker]

Quoted for truth. Seriously. Oh and while Lisa will eventually give you your balls back... I won't. I'll hang them over the fireplace with the others.

[Madi-J]

When you get enough of them, you can put them in an empty coffee can and shake 'em. Kinda like maracas

nut'racas?

maracsticles?

Either way I'm having a serious giggle fit over here!

[idreamofnumber1]

Did not read 3 pages, but saw this on the e-webz.

1. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting me in mood than humping my leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on me as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.

2. If I’m getting ready to start my period or I have my period while we are arguing and you don’t have chocolate in hand, you’re basically swimmIing with sharks while bleeding – nice knowing you.

3. My retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want me to return the favor.

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that I shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call me a nag or I’ll hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

5. If I’m acting crazy, remember, I didn’t choose to be born with hormone induced rage blackouts, but you chose to marry me. So who’s the crazy one here???

6. Remember you’re going home with me so stick up for me to your mother OR ELDErs.

7. I have yet to meet anyone who has died of a cold. Not really a rule, but just some food for thought…

8. If you want me to stop talking, acknowledge you heard me, and I’ll shut up (maybe).

9. I get an “I’m right” trump card that’s good for 5 years times infinity for every human that emerged from my body. Game. Set. Match. End of argument.

10. Even when I actually am being a crazy bitch, always remember that I’m your crazy bitch, and you know you LOVE me.

would love to see your husbands response to that list. If i told him you wouldnt be allowed to read it : )

[IH8RICE]

A what men need to know about women thread created by a MAN......strong wtf moment for me right now.....

I drown my wife with wine on a daily. By 8, her and the princess are fast asleep leaving me with hours of whateverthe****. 45 minutes to go!!

[idreamofnumber1]

A what men need to know about women thread created by a MAN......strong wtf moment for me right now.....

I drown my wife with wine on a daily. By 8, her and the princess are fast asleep leaving me with hours of whateverthe****. 45 minutes to go!!

Lmao

[anonymous]

Did someone say chocolate!?? And wine? My two favorite food groups......chock full of antioxidants and polyphenols, and tastes good, too!

[acrawlingchaos]

Quoted for truth. Seriously. Oh and while Lisa will eventually give you your balls back... I won't. I'll hang them over the fireplace with the others.

You women are so adorable when you threaten with violence.

[duck1dong]

If a woman is upset hold her and tell her how beautiful she is.

If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.

You as a guy should know that women are unsolvable. It is best to just look at women as humans, but humans that think differently. It doesnt make sense to get mad or try to win. What is better is to learn from them. The best advice is to be yourself and not to try "solve" anything, ever. Put forth your best effort all the time, every time, and never give up. It is from this effort that you will get stronger. And this above all else is why a man should be with a woman. This strength of will directly translates to gains on weights, skills, the list is endless. How do I know? Married 13 years and counting.

[cowboybiker]

If a woman ever pulls a knife on you pull out some bread and mayo and her womanly instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sammich.

[latebloomingmom]

If a woman ever pulls a knife on you pull out some bread and mayo and her womanly instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sammich.

if a man ever pulls his keys out on ya like he is gonna leave
pop hood of your car and tell him about this odd noise you noticed it makes every time ya start it

[cowboybiker]

if a man ever pulls his keys out on ya like he is gonna leave
pop hood of your car and tell him about this odd noise you noticed it makes every time ya start it

Well yeah!

[meimonsta]

If I growl, it's because you are trying to take my food.

[deadwoodgregg]

...

[sy2502]

You as a guy should know that women are unsolvable. It is best to just look at women as humans, but humans that think differently. It doesnt make sense to get mad or try to win. What is better is to learn from them. The best advice is to be yourself and not to try "solve" anything, ever. Put forth your best effort all the time, every time, and never give up. It is from this effort that you will get stronger. And this above all else is why a man should be with a woman. This strength of will directly translates to gains on weights, skills, the list is endless. How do I know? Married 13 years and counting.

Yeah, I am sure women are the only living breathing things that want some attention and affection. So inscrutable...

[theKurp]

You as a guy should know that women are unsolvable. It is best to just look at women as humans, but humans that think differently. It doesnt make sense to get mad or try to win. What is better is to learn from them. The best advice is to be yourself and not to try "solve" anything, ever. Put forth your best effort all the time, every time, and never give up. It is from this effort that you will get stronger. And this above all else is why a man should be with a woman. This strength of will directly translates to gains on weights, skills, the list is endless. How do I know? Married 13 years and counting.

Just try to make it to the front porch and then scream bloody murder. Someone just might hear you and call the police. At least that's what worked for the women in Ohio.

[cowboybiker]

Some men think women need to come with instructions.

I say real men don't read instructions.

[MusclePunisher]

Listen. I came into this section to look at avis and listen to girls tslk about their boobs and stuff.

Instead i get life tips and relationship help?

Why god?? Why!!!?

[cowboybiker]

Listen. I came into this section to look at avis and listen to girls tslk about their boobs and stuff.

Instead i get life tips and relationship help?

Why god?? Why!!!?

Teh Mods wont let them talk about boobs.

And that is a damn shame.


Damn you boob hating Mods!!!

[IH8RICE]

Some men think women need to come with instructions.

I say real men don't read instructions.

So are real men illiterate? Not saying women are hard to understand( specifically the one you've been with for a long time) but honestly when hormone fluctuations come into play, there's no play book or "intuition" that can save you from her wrath. Eve men do it. You get pissed off at work or the gym, little things bother you, ect and you tend to take them out on the one person who you are comfortable venting to. Sometimes the venting is harsh, sometimes it isn't. Btw, I honestly think women like to keep us constantly thinking/adapting/evolving.

*Disclaimer*-this is from my own personally experience and not a general conclusion of how all women act...

[latebloomingmom]

Teh Mods wont let them talk about boobs.

And that is a damn shame.


Damn you boob hating Mods!!!

hahahhahaa....its cause we all got em..and to us they are .....meh