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  1. #121
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Thank you to all who have been positive in this thread and have shown support to those in need of it. That was my goal in creating this thread and I think so far it has been a success.

    On a side note, I think I will talk a little bit about how I have been doing. For those of you who are not aware my great-grandmother passed away in March of this year and not soon after than in July my grandfather passed away. There was not a lot of time in between their deaths and right after my great-grandmother died there was still my grandfather to take care of (dying of cancer) so it is almost like her death didn't register right away. The last time I used opiates was in July and have been clean from them since. But just a month or two ago things started coming back, the strong cravings to use them, thinking about them and the rituals I used have when using them, the whole deal. I am also not happy, nothing really gets me happy anymore (maybe setting a PR or hearing from a friend) but then I find myself falling back. My family members think that I could be grieving the deaths of my great-grandmother and grandfather. The confusing thing with my grandfather is we had a very different relationship. I know he loved me but he was verbally abusive, and he made me afraid many times. These fears is one of the leading causes as to why I developed and eating disorder. So at times I miss him but then it's like "but he caused me pain".

    I am finding it harder and harder day by day to find the motivation to do the things that I used to do.
    Last edited by health4life24; 11-17-2013 at 03:13 PM.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  2. #122
    Registered User Savanovic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    Thank you to all who have been positive in this thread and have shown support to those in need of it. That was my goal in creating this thread and I think so far it has been a success.

    On a side note, I think I will talk a little bit about how I have been doing. For those of you who are not aware my great-grandmother passed away in March of this year and not soon after than in July my grandfather passed away. There was not a lot of time in between their deaths and right after my great-grandmother died there was still my grandfather to take care of (dying of cancer) so it is almost like her death didn't register right away. The last time I used opiates was in July and have been clean from them since. But just a month or two ago things started coming back, the strong cravings to use them, thinking about them and the rituals I used have when using them, the whole deal. I am also not happy, nothing really gets me happy anymore (maybe setting a PR or hearing from a friend) but then I find myself falling back. My family members think that I could be grieving the deaths of my great-grandmother and grandfather. The confusing thing with my grandfather is we had a very different relationship. I know he loved me but he was verbally abusive, and he made me afraid many times. These fears is one of the leading causes as to why I developed and eating disorder. So at times I miss him but then it's like "but he caused me pain".

    I am finding it harder and harder day by day to find the motivation to do the things that I used to do.
    stay strong, you progressed a lot so far... just look at yourself from the past and look at yourself now.
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  3. #123
    Registered User fingolfin34's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    Thank you to all who have been positive in this thread and have shown support to those in need of it. That was my goal in creating this thread and I think so far it has been a success.

    On a side note, I think I will talk a little bit about how I have been doing. For those of you who are not aware my great-grandmother passed away in March of this year and not soon after than in July my grandfather passed away. There was not a lot of time in between their deaths and right after my great-grandmother died there was still my grandfather to take care of (dying of cancer) so it is almost like her death didn't register right away. The last time I used opiates was in July and have been clean from them since. But just a month or two ago things started coming back, the strong cravings to use them, thinking about them and the rituals I used have when using them, the whole deal. I am also not happy, nothing really gets me happy anymore (maybe setting a PR or hearing from a friend) but then I find myself falling back. My family members think that I could be grieving the deaths of my great-grandmother and grandfather. The confusing thing with my grandfather is we had a very different relationship. I know he loved me but he was verbally abusive, and he made me afraid many times. These fears is one of the leading causes as to why I developed and eating disorder. So at times I miss him but then it's like "but he caused me pain".

    I am finding it harder and harder day by day to find the motivation to do the things that I used to do.
    "...Cunning, baffling, powerful...and patient" Our addictions are good at hiding away when we become distracted in early recovery. For the first time in a long time, we become engaged in stuff that we are truly interested in. Over time, (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly) we have to face our emotions without hiding from them. This is when its so important to have a fellow from recovery be available to speak with you. Your sponsor is the best person to call when feeling down, since they know more of your history than other folks, but just the act of reaching out can often reduce the anxieties we feel. Hopefully posting your feelings above was a little bit of a catharsis. If you are still in school, please talk to the counselor. He or she may be able to find some (free) help for you to overcome these issues. Many people reject the idea of going for help, or asking for help. They fear they will be seen as weak. The strange thing about help is...it helps.

    God Bless you, my friend.
    Fin
    Lets not forget the real life side of things.
    I spent too many years hiding in addiction to let that crap ruin my life again.
    The greatest gift we can give others is the gift of help.
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  4. #124
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Savanovic View Post
    stay strong, you progressed a lot so far... just look at yourself from the past and look at yourself now.
    Thanks man!
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  5. #125
    Registered User fingolfin34's Avatar
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    Open notice to anyone living in recovery:

    We have been blessed with a brand new today. All of our yesterdays have led us to being who we are right now. The fact is that we are addicts. We can be grateful for the fact that our addiction doesn't have to run our lives any more.

    As I celebrate my 37th birthday today, I have more gratitude for the simple things in my life than ever before. I have a loving partner and healthy kids. I have taken the big step to finally get fit.

    I have a supportive home-group and am active in 13-step setvice.

    Life may suck at times. But, LIFE SUCKS BETTER SOBER

    Blessings to all,
    Fin
    Lets not forget the real life side of things.
    I spent too many years hiding in addiction to let that crap ruin my life again.
    The greatest gift we can give others is the gift of help.
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  6. #126
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    @ Fin

    Happy Birthday, and thank you for those strong words of encouragement!
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  7. #127
    Registered User MitchyDee's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    @ Fin

    Happy Birthday, and thank you for those strong words of encouragement!
    I just want to say that it is very impressive that you've been able to get off of opiates. I have an addicted friend who's fighting that battle. Stay strong.
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  8. #128
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MitchyDee View Post
    I just want to say that it is very impressive that you've been able to get off of opiates. I have an addicted friend who's fighting that battle. Stay strong.
    Thank you. The best thing you could do is be a strong support system for you friend, seriously. Addiction is a nasty battle and I am sure that you being there for him or her will mean a lot.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  9. #129
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    It's officially been 3 and a half years since I was a heroin addict. <3

    Let us all breathe that fresh air into our lungs. Flowers smell so sweet.

    19 and making changes.
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  10. #130
    Registered User Savanovic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SpekSylvia View Post
    It's officially been 3 and a half years since I was a heroin addict. <3

    Let us all breathe that fresh air into our lungs. Flowers smell so sweet.

    19 and making changes.
    glad to hear that, keep up with the good work
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  11. #131
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SpekSylvia View Post
    It's officially been 3 and a half years since I was a heroin addict. <3

    Let us all breathe that fresh air into our lungs. Flowers smell so sweet.

    19 and making changes.
    Excellent work, very proud of you! Keep up the great work my friend.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  12. #132
    F00D BR4H ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SpekSylvia View Post
    It's officially been 3 and a half years since I was a heroin addict. <3

    Let us all breathe that fresh air into our lungs. Flowers smell so sweet.

    19 and making changes.
    Happy for you brother, keep moving forward.
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  13. #133
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jericoe View Post
    So we can talk about illegal drugs in here but not steroids


    ok
    The purpose of this thread is to provide support to those dealing with addictions, not to talk casually about illegal drugs. In other words, we are not just talking about them for the sake of talking about them.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  14. #134
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jericoe View Post
    So if someone is addicted to steroids can they talk about it here.
    Honestly I shouldn't see why not. It is an addiction. The difference is we are discussing things in an appropriate manner. There is no talk about illegal drugs that would be considered inappropriate in my opinion.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  15. #135
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by llj03ll View Post
    I smoke 3 doobies a day. Don't think I'm classified as a drug abuser if my life's not effected negatively?
    I don't know if you are being sarcastic or not, and if you are that's messed up. Maybe these articles will help you a bit:

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-addiction/DS00183

    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug..._treatment.htm
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  16. #136
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    Whike I know it is late to post this, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy New Years. With the arrival of 2014 comes the ability to make new choices, and start fresh. Good luck with all that you pursue, and remember that this thread is always here if you need it. Good luck everyone!
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  17. #137
    Let's be friends :-) Mcfreako's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Good thread. In.
    Lotssssss of first hand experience with this.

    If anyone wants to talk feel free to pm me.
    Call me Sally
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  18. #138
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    @Rav

    Delete your post or I will get an administrator to delete it for you. Those types of comments are not appropriate in here.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  19. #139
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    @Sam

    Good to hear that you are doing well and sorry to hear that you were sick, hope you're feeling better. Substances change how we view the world and feel about ourselves, so it sounds very normal to me that you would be thinking more about who you are as a person (your identity) when you are not under the influence. You stated that you feel more positive and you need to hold onto that feeling. When you get those urges think about how good you feel sober.

    Unfortunately that happens, people will start to mooch off you for various reasons and to feed their own habit. It's important that you don't let them do this, and certainly don't give them money. Do you work? If so, it is the money you earned that you are giving away. This is another thing. Being under the influence can make us more susceptible to making bad decisions.

    One last thing. Being busy is a great technique to combat the urges to use. When you are busy your mind is occupied and you are focused on what it is you are doing. When boredom sets in it is easier to succumb to the thoughts about using because you have nothing to focus on.

    Just keep taking it day by day. If you notice that weekends are your hardest or that is the only time you would consider using consider making plans ahead of time. Anything really that will keep you busy and keep your mind in a positive state.
    Last edited by health4life24; 02-19-2014 at 12:46 PM.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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    @Sam

    You have to consider the following: is doing it in a social setting just your way of providing yourself with an excuse to still do it? I'm not going to tell you to do it or not to do it, but you have to ask yourself: do you want to live sober or simply reduce the frequency at which you engage in the behavior? You have made great progress so far and I'm happy to see that, but if you decide to just do it socially could you risk relapsing back into your every week habit? It's something you need to think about.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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    Registered User Trinity1216's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    @Rav

    Delete your post or I will get an administrator to delete it for you. Those types of comments are not appropriate in here.
    I cleaned up this last page.


    Also Steroids are still not allowed to be discussed.


    And great job on all of you who are continuing to fight!!!! Great thread!
    ***English is NOT my first language, Italian is. So I apologize now for any errors in spelling or grammar. Obviously I am annoying the Grammar Nazis****
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    Originally Posted by Trinity1216 View Post
    I cleaned up this last page.
    Thanks, I appreciate it!
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  23. #143
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    Originally Posted by SamTheMan65 View Post
    That's a tough question. I'd say no, it isn't an excuse. The problem was the frequency of use and the fact that I was alone; being in a social setting would be much better imo.

    That being said, I'll reevaluate it and see if I feel the same way in a few months.



    As of now, I'd say I want to reduce the frequency and not be alone when smoking. Once again, I'll reevaluate in a few months.



    I'd say there's a small chance because I have other friends that I hang out with on the weekend, so I (have been recently) keep busy.

    I appreciate the support and it is very nice having a place where I can tell other people how I feel about this stuff.
    Be careful Sam.
    Sounds to me like you are prone to be depression and/or anxiety and if that is the case, you don't really want to be smoking weed.
    I started only smoking once a week about half a year ago (of course the use went up) and as of last August I ended up dabbing everyday because smoking no longer produced the effects I wanted. If you're honestly having trouble controlling urges with only weekend uses, I would try to stop altogether.
    Weed can also make a person feel really detached. If I were you, I would quit altogether for awhile and see how you feel. I haven't smoked in two weeks and pretty much back to how I felt prior to daily use.
    I'm taking a long needed break and when I begin smoking again I will not smoke to the extent I did.
    AND whatever you do, do not try harder drugs. I know people say weed is not a gateway drug, but for some people it is. When I first started smoking I said I would do nothing but weed. I am now planning on tripping later this month (for the third time in the past 3/4 of a year) and I have mixed pills with alcohol. If it were not my GF I would sadly assume I would be doing a lot harder drugs.
    Before you know it, you can be doing drugs you never thought you would. I have seen many friends start from weekly use of weed to now doing lines and pills.
    Be very careful Sam, esp if weed is giving you trouble
    Last edited by Zevias; 02-28-2014 at 09:43 AM.
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  24. #144
    Registered User Jonyothan's Avatar
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    I want to quit smoking weed but I can't seem to stick to it everytime I try to quit. I heard it increases estrogen and leads to female fat deposits in men, which I notice in myself after about 2 years of continuous use, i am relatively low body fat with my only fat being stored in my lower stomach, I find I cannot sleep if I don't smoke, also It's hard to get in the cals on a bulk without smoking, it really helped me bulk up a ton since I've been doing it and lifting, there really is no reason for me to quit apart from I now rely on it to sleep and its costing me a small fortune since I smoke atleast once everyday. How can I make it easier to quit? Ive tried tapering down and slowly stopping but I always get offered some from a buddy and end up giving in, thanks brahs
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    Originally Posted by SamTheMan65 View Post
    @Zevias

    I appreciate your concern. Tbh, yes I am prone to anxiety and depression. I haven't smoked in almost three weeks and I really do feel different...

    It seems the longer I go without smoking, the more clearly I can see how it affects me. Some Fridays I would decide not to smoke then do it anyway... much more toxic than I realized.

    --------------------------------------

    @Jonyothan

    Write down a list with all of the negative ways weed affects your life. Do not hold back. After every week of not smoking, update the list. If you want to smoke, read that list.

    If you want to quit, tell your buddy that you aren't going to chill anymore. Then hold true to that.

    You said it's hard to sleep without smoking. Find another activity, such as reading or an instrument, to do before you go to bed. Do that for 20 minutes, lie down in bed for 20 minutes, then repeat if you can't sleep. It's going to be tough, but take it from someone with insomnia that this method works.

    If you want, I will commit not to smoke until the month of April along with you. You game?
    Pretty down, but I wanna use it to my advantage to bulk 10 more pounds so I can hit 195 before I start cutting for summer, I think i'm going to just throw out all my paraphernalia in may and try and quit for good until next bulking season
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    @Sam

    That is perfectly understandable. You get used to living your life through a substance and then when you start living sober it may seem unreal at first. You have to take it slow, and do your best to learn coping strategies when you experience these feelings. Over time you will adjust to a life of sobriety and start to feel comfortable with yourself. It takes time, but it can be done.

    Congrats on not caving in to the urge to use, it takes courage and determination to be able to fight it, and you're doing a good job.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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    @Jonyothan

    It's an unfortunate truth but sometimes you have to cut ties with the people that are involved in the behavior. I'm not telling you to stop being friends with any of your buddies, but if they're are making it more difficult for you to quit then you need to take that into consideration. What if you told your friends that you are trying to quite and asked them to not offer you any? If your friends are truly your friends they will understand.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  28. #148
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    Whats up guys? I am 18 years old and 74 days clean from methamphetamine. I could not quit on my own. I tried doing it for every possible reason you could think of. My parents, my beautiful girlfriend (at the time), my grades, my job, my future. Nothing worked. It took me falling to a dark, terrible place.. sitting in my room, sobbing, track marks on my arms, life going nowhere fking fast, to send myself to treatment. It was the best decision I have ever made. I am now on track to go to school in San Diego this upcoming fall, will have my own place, all of that superficial ****. But what is most important is I can look myself in the mirror and see a soul.

    I am not going to preach the 12 step program of NA/AA, however I will tell you that **** is saving my life. Don't let the "God" concept scare you away. It refers to a Higher Power OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING. I came in a complete agnostic. Now, I have spirituality and pray every night. Not to a Christian God, not to your God, it is my God. Do I think I'll go to heaven when I die? Honestly I don't know. But what I do know is you need a spiritual awakening to combat the disease of addiction. It is a fking killer.
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    Originally Posted by N9neTails View Post
    Whats up guys? I am 18 years old and 74 days clean from methamphetamine. I could not quit on my own. I tried doing it for every possible reason you could think of. My parents, my beautiful girlfriend (at the time), my grades, my job, my future. Nothing worked. It took me falling to a dark, terrible place.. sitting in my room, sobbing, track marks on my arms, life going nowhere fking fast, to send myself to treatment. It was the best decision I have ever made. I am now on track to go to school in San Diego this upcoming fall, will have my own place, all of that superficial ****. But what is most important is I can look myself in the mirror and see a soul.

    I am not going to preach the 12 step program of NA/AA, however I will tell you that **** is saving my life. Don't let the "God" concept scare you away. It refers to a Higher Power OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING. I came in a complete agnostic. Now, I have spirituality and pray every night. Not to a Christian God, not to your God, it is my God. Do I think I'll go to heaven when I die? Honestly I don't know. But what I do know is you need a spiritual awakening to combat the disease of addiction. It is a fking killer.
    Hope. That is what you have found. It is the only emotion stronger than the fear that our addict propagates within us. The Higher Power has been there all along, and always will be. It takes us opening ourselves up to accept the love that the universe has to share with us. That's what I find in my group. (I am sexually addicted - Sober 2 years; coming up on 5 years free of drugs and alcohol.)

    Its a miracle that you have found your recovery at 18. Hold on to it. Cherish it. Also, keep speaking about what your recovery means to you. Even if no one else reads it, or comments on it, or reps you for it. Do it to remind yourself that your LIFE matters.

    God bless,
    -Fin
    Lets not forget the real life side of things.
    I spent too many years hiding in addiction to let that crap ruin my life again.
    The greatest gift we can give others is the gift of help.
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    @Jonyothan

    It's an unfortunate truth but sometimes you have to cut ties with the people that are involved in the behavior. I'm not telling you to stop being friends with any of your buddies, but if they're are making it more difficult for you to quit then you need to take that into consideration. What if you told your friends that you are trying to quite and asked them to not offer you any? If your friends are truly your friends they will understand.
    People who give/sell you drugs are not your friends. They are excellent salesmen who are taking all your money and time. All drugs are a business not a lifestyle and are marketed in such a way to make you feel like you are in an exclusive group. The faster you figure this out the better off you will be.
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