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  1. #61
    日本語,한국어,中文 T3hGiggles's Avatar
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    Been struggling with weed abuse for at least a year. Also did way too much lsd and molly this summer, started smoking cigs this summer but am trying to quit. Trying to quit everything right now. Ever since March of this year, I stopped going to class or really caring about anything, smoking multiple times a day, and generally super depressed whenever I'm alone or sober. Withdrew from classes last spring, went home, same habits all summer, came back for school this fall and did the same thing, didn't go to classes and got high and fkced around all day. Now I'm at college and I have to withdraw again, might not go back and just take some time off. Don't even know what I wanna' do in life anymore, lost passion for my major and for mostly everything but lifting. I feel like all I do is lift, it's almost the only time I leave the house anymore. Going to university counseling tomorrow to talk to someone and see if they prescribe me antidepressants or something, hoping that could help since depression/anxiety runs on my mom's side, and I take completely after her. Little sister and mom both diagnosed with depression/anxiety and on meds. I actually made a thread last night declaring that I was going to quit all drugs and pursue a completely healthy lifestyle, but I ended up taking a hit earlier and now I want more. =/

    edit: also not a big drinker, but when I do go out and drink I usually go ham and get sick or blackout. Have 12 beers in the fridge and am tempted to drink at least half
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  2. #62
    Registered User apujols24's Avatar
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    In on this for sure. Learned a lot the past few years due to getting sent away / treatment. Glad I was one of the lucky ones who learned my lesson and got my head straightened out and focusing on getting my life back on track. I've messed with it all and unfortunately went downhill with something I shouldn't of, but its too late for regrets now, just gotta man back up and focus on myself. It's all about the strong mentality and confidence. Started with smoking weed and just escalated. I was sick of losing everything that I busted my ass for. My strength, my family, my money, and my girlfriend. Not worth it brahs, short term pleasure ain't worth whats ahead of you down the road. Any guys who are struggling, shoot me a PM.
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  3. #63
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    There is so much more....but I appreciate the advice.

    It is not just using a substance, it is depression
    Another thing you need to stay aware of, is surrounding yourself with depression.
    Do you submerge yourself with depressing music, movies, thoughts, etc?
    If so, that needs to stop.

    Depression is hard. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's a mental illness.

    I advise professional help.
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  4. #64
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Another thing you need to stay aware of, is surrounding yourself with depression.
    Do you submerge yourself with depressing music, movies, thoughts, etc?
    If so, that needs to stop.

    Depression is hard. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's a mental illness.

    I advise professional help.

    I actually do the complete opposite, I try to surround myself with positive things. There's this one song that I always listen to when I'm down, whether it helps it not
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  5. #65
    Registered User apujols24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    The body that I have wanted , FRIENDS, work opportunities




    But no matter what good comes about it means **** because I can't get happy and content with myself
    Do you really wanna go back to giving your hard earned money to some worthless nig every day? Go back to needing something to get you out of bed in the morning ? Being dependent on something to get you through your daily activities or so you don't get sick? Needing it every day to eat or sleep? Think of all the negatives bro its not worth it. Your a few months clean and you think its hard now with cravings? I GUARANTEE you the day you slip up the cravings are gonna be a thousand times worse. Be proud of all the months you got clean man, think of the positives not the negatives. Yeah it'll make you feel happy and numb for a few hours, but then what? Your gonna end up pissed off a few hours later, and looking for money to spend to feel happy for another few hours. It's a brutal cycle thats only gonna end in 3 places man.. Death, prison or institutions. Your depression is just gonna get worse and worse, embrace the time that you have clean man. Short term satisfaction is just gonna lead to long term depression down the road.. You can't keep doing this forever brother. Make the right decision, keep your head up.
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  6. #66
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    I actually do the complete opposite, I try to surround myself with positive things. There's this one song that I always listen to when I'm down, whether it helps it not
    Lay it all out on the table man.
    Can only help as much as we know.
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  7. #67
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    Have def been considering getting back into it.
    Not heroin though. Never back there.
    But have had urges to smoke some bud, and maybe do some lines.


    But pain killers seem the most appetizing to me right now.

    Struggling a little bit boys. (A lot bit) But trying to hold on.
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  8. #68
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Have def been considering getting back into it.
    Not heroin though. Never back there.
    But have had urges to smoke some bud, and maybe do some lines.


    But pain killers seem the most appetizing to me right now.

    Struggling a little bit boys. (A lot bit) But trying to hold on.
    I can only say so much, we've only interacted a little bit over the forums. But I know just a bit about you and your story and it's tough to see that you're struggling. I can only say so much, I can't empathize with you because I've never been an addict... but I HAVE been near death countless times due to my disease, I've contemplated suicide knowing that my eating disorder was in full control, my health was in the gutter.. and I had nothing to live for.. other than to think about food, exercise for the entirity of my days.

    What I have to say is that YOU are better than it, brother. YOU are in control of your life, every waking thought and emotion, in your life.. everything. You're young, you have an entire future ahead of you, an entire future full of fun.. wonder.. uncertainties.. Life is not going to get any better, any easier, etc. If you chose to use.

    I've been to a few AA meetings, (Eating Disorders anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous, are synonymous with alot of drug recovery programs). So I know a lot of people that are in recovery from aheads ALONG WITH chemical dependancy issues. I just want to offer up some encouragment and let you know that you've got a lot going for you, don't go back to the past..

    Hold on my man, things can and WILL get better.
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  9. #69
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    Originally Posted by ErikTheElectric View Post
    I can only say so much, we've only interacted a little bit over the forums. But I know just a bit about you and your story and it's tough to see that you're struggling. I can only say so much, I can't empathize with you because I've never been an addict... but I HAVE been near death countless times due to my disease, I've contemplated suicide knowing that my eating disorder was in full control, my health was in the gutter.. and I had nothing to live for.. other than to think about food, exercise for the entirity of my days.

    What I have to say is that YOU are better than it, brother. YOU are in control of your life, every waking thought and emotion, in your life.. everything. You're young, you have an entire future ahead of you, an entire future full of fun.. wonder.. uncertainties.. Life is not going to get any better, any easier, etc. If you chose to use.

    I've been to a few AA meetings, (Eating Disorders anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous, are synonymous with alot of drug recovery programs). So I know a lot of people that are in recovery from aheads ALONG WITH chemical dependancy issues. I just want to offer up some encouragment and let you know that you've got a lot going for you, don't go back to the past..

    Hold on my man, things can and WILL get better.
    Thank you so much for the reply, Erik.
    I'm just really not feeling good right now. Really not feelin good.
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  10. #70
    ヤミ族 坂上 Carvinge's Avatar
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    Well, didn't toke up today cause I promised myself I wasn't going to.. Now I'm feeling absolutely blank and careless. No idea what to write. Theres literally no thought process going through my brain.
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  11. #71
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    Originally Posted by Carvinge View Post
    Well, didn't toke up today cause I promised myself I wasn't going to.. Now I'm feeling absolutely blank and careless. No idea what to write. Theres literally no thought process going through my brain.
    Congrats on your decision, this is a huge step in dealing with your issues. It's normal to feel like you are right now, but the important thing is that you fight it and you stay strong. When I first stopped using, I felt kind of like you are right now, blank. But IT WILL get better, Try focusing on something positive, something that keeps your mind active and away from the thoughts of using. Stay strong bro, we are all here for you.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  12. #72
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    Originally Posted by Carvinge View Post
    Well, didn't toke up today cause I promised myself I wasn't going to.. Now I'm feeling absolutely blank and careless. No idea what to write. Theres literally no thought process going through my brain.
    Think of it as your brain restarting. It's okay bro.
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  13. #73
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    The temptations are there, and I feel they are getting stronger...
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  14. #74
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    The temptations are there, and I feel they are getting stronger...
    Same, we just need to keep fighting.
    Because at this point I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for others.

    It always gets bad when my depression gets bad.
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    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Thank you so much for the reply, Erik.
    I'm just really not feeling good right now. Really not feelin good.
    Hope you're doing okay my man.
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Same, we just need to keep fighting.
    Because at this point I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for others.

    It always gets bad when my depression gets bad.
    Yeah that can happen. Are you talking to anyone about what you are going through, besides us?
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    Yeah that can happen. Are you talking to anyone about what you are going through, besides us?
    I finished up therapy. And worked for a bit. But I'm depressed again.
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    I finished up therapy. And worked for a bit. But I'm depressed again.
    want to talk about it?
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    want to talk about it?
    Just a lot going on really.
    School, problems with the mrs, kinda overall hating myself and choices I made, addiction, disappointing all people I know (like literally lol). Just a lot really.
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Just a lot going on really.
    School, problems with the mrs, kinda overall hating myself and choices I made, addiction, disappointing all people I know (like literally lol). Just a lot really.

    You can't hate yourself for choices that you have made in the past, because you can't change it. What you can do is learn from your mistakes and makes better decisions in the here and now, and in the future.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  21. #81
    4am club health4life24's Avatar
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    honestly I am real;y tired of these cycles, and I just want things to end. I gave in today. To add more to my stress, I am afraid and confused about what to eat for dinner and I am hungry. I feel like I cannot eat something that I will enjoy because I am stressed and thus should not look to enjoy food. Everyone acts like I am this wonderful person, yet in reality I am nothing more than this ****ed up piece of ****.
    Last edited by health4life24; 10-12-2013 at 04:26 PM.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  22. #82
    Banned Jalexander1994's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by health4life24 View Post
    honestly I am real;y tired of these cycles, and I just want things to end. I gave in today. To add more to my stress, I am afraid and confused about what to eat for dinner and I am hungry. I feel like I cannot eat something that I will enjoy because I am stressed and thus should not look to enjoy food. Everyone acts like I am this wonderful person, yet in reality I am nothing more than this ****ed up piece of ****.

    Oh my gosh dude.
    You do the same thing?
    Punish yourself? I do that all the time.. Except with other things..

    You seem like a great guy. Got a cell phone? PM me your number if you do.
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    Originally Posted by Jalexander1994 View Post
    Oh my gosh dude.
    You do the same thing?
    Punish yourself? I do that all the time.. Except with other things..

    You seem like a great guy. Got a cell phone? PM me your number if you do.

    I have been dealing with an ED for a while. I was doing real well with recovery, and I am not really restricting anymore so much like I used to, but when I get stressed ED thoughts kind of surface
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  24. #84
    ヤミ族 坂上 Carvinge's Avatar
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    Figured I'd post here. Caved in and smoked again today. =/
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    Originally Posted by Carvinge View Post
    Figured I'd post here. Caved in and smoked again today. =/
    Don't let a relapse set you back. Identify what happened, and move forward.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  26. #86
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    Sometimes I wonder if I am using the gym as a replacement. It is certainly better than relapsing but I don't want it to get out of hand either. I am getting very focused on my foods and workout and not wanting to take breaks. I don't want to end up with an ED just to keep myself distracted. I also look at photos from the party days and hate how much weight I have put on since stopping. It just reminds me of how easy it would to go back and lose that weight a quicker way.
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    @Acateleptic

    You have to remind yourself that when you are not using you are healthy, you are free, and you get to enjoy all aspects of life. When you are under the influence of a substance your thoughts and how you perceive things are altered. As far as the eating disorder part goes, I suggest you talk to a professional counselor about your feelings. He or she can help you sort things out, because becoming "obsessed" to the point that it control every aspect of your life is not healthy. There is nothing wrong with being focus on it, but you do not want to just be focused on healthy, fitness, and food because there are other important things in life like friends and family. I myself have had an eating disorder, and if you ever want to chat feel free to PM you. There is also and eating disorder support thread in the nutrition section, in case you are interested.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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  28. #88
    ヤミ族 坂上 Carvinge's Avatar
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    Going to a therapist today just to talk to somebody. None of my friends really understand that weed is my get-a-way drug from escaping the bad in my life.. Will update later. =/
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  29. #89
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    Originally Posted by Acataleptic View Post
    Sometimes I wonder if I am using the gym as a replacement. It is certainly better than relapsing but I don't want it to get out of hand either. I am getting very focused on my foods and workout and not wanting to take breaks. I don't want to end up with an ED just to keep myself distracted. I also look at photos from the party days and hate how much weight I have put on since stopping. It just reminds me of how easy it would to go back and lose that weight a quicker way.
    Obviously you don't want to let anything get out of hand, but lifting is a far better crutch than most things
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    Originally Posted by Carvinge View Post
    Going to a therapist today just to talk to somebody. None of my friends really understand that weed is my get-a-way drug from escaping the bad in my life.. Will update later. =/
    Talking can be very good for some people. One of the reasons I created this thread in the first place was to be able to create a safe, judge-free zone where people can come and jut vent. The past few days I have been struggling and have been talking to a friend about it, and even if it doesn't make it better I still feel good knowing that I have someone that cares.

    My computer is acting funky and not letting me add to your reputation, but once it sorts itself out take some reps. I am proud of you for deciding to go get professional help, and it is important that you be honest with your therapist so that he or she really understands what you are going through.
    - Your mindset influences your outcome. It's time to take out phrases like "I can't" or "I don't have time" and replace them with phrases like "I will make the time" and "I will keep working at it until I find a way that works." Success starts with the right mindset and believing in yourself and your dreams.
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