Generally, in this situation, both men and women say they'd like to know. But once the other party knows you cheated, the relationship, the majority of the time, ends in mistrust.
They say, what you don't know can't hurt you and it is true. If the other party never finds out, it will never hurt them. They can live in peace/ignorant bliss.
All I know is if you do tell, your relationship is over the majority of the time. You can guarantee she'll use this in EVERY argument, and when she almost inevitably cheats (because once one party cheats the other party almost feels entitled to it), you can guarantee she'll bring this up. All of my friends when they cheated or their GF cheated, had it brought full circle. Either that, or if they cheat, tell and are forgiven, they cheat again because well, they've already been forgiven once.
More likely than not, if you're a guy, you have a higher chance of the girl claiming that you sexual assaulted them and who are people going to believe?
Thread: i cheated, should i tell her?
06-28-2013, 01:43 PM #31
06-28-2013, 01:50 PM #32
06-28-2013, 01:52 PM #33
06-28-2013, 02:11 PM #34
06-28-2013, 02:17 PM #35
06-28-2013, 02:34 PM #36
Extreme example, but sorry, people still use their common sense to evaluate situations, even if it's wrong.
Two more examples:
Assume you're in Germany and you're the second in command Nazi, do you go up to Hitler and say "Is it really worth killing all the Jews? Why are we doing that again?"
Or lets even go to a more recent example. The U.S. says "Hey there are weapons of Mass destruction. I'm your government believe me!" But everyone else in the WHOLE PHUCKING WORLD says "No, there aren't, we all checked already, you should probably trust us."
Sorry, just because you're the "boyfriend" doesn't make what you say right, even if it is true. You're looking at it from a very objective point. Throw some emotions in there (men AND women), maybe some PMS (ok so women only here), and boom you're in hell.
I didn't sleep over at a friends place one night when she wanted me to (has a hard time sleeping by herself), because someone was throwing their brains up and I didn't want them to pass out in their own vomit and die. No matter what logic I use, the only thing that matters to her is that "she feels neglected" doesn't matter that if the other girl had died, I'd have been held personally responsible and been carted off to jail. Sometimes, you got to remember that you aren't predicting the logical move. You're predicting the behavior.
06-28-2013, 02:34 PM #37
06-28-2013, 02:47 PM #38
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06-28-2013, 04:45 PM #39
06-28-2013, 05:04 PM #40
This is sexual assault. Effectively it loosely termed as rape, though the legal definition involves penetration.
If you were asleep when she started, it's sexual assault pure and simple.
I would say nothing in this situation, I wouldn't even dump her. If the roles were reversed, she wouldn't tell you - and if she did, the truth - I rejected his advances, fell asleep, woke to him fingering me - would make most guys furious at the other guy, beat him up, go to the police, stand by the girl etc. However, you're a guy, so the girl will think you're full of crap and will dump you.
I don't agree with you for not stopping her, but it's not as if you initiated it, and your true consent to it all is really questionable.
06-28-2013, 07:23 PM #41
Sounds like rape to me op.
but the fact that you let her continue and you comming from it, sounds like you cheated.
You should simply break up with her.Knee Pops Every Step I Take Crew
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06-28-2013, 08:20 PM #42
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So don't tell her, break up with her, or keep moving with the guilt of knowing what you did.
06-28-2013, 08:23 PM #43
06-28-2013, 08:32 PM #44
06-29-2013, 12:16 AM #45
06-29-2013, 01:41 AM #46
06-29-2013, 02:00 AM #47
06-29-2013, 03:48 AM #48
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