Three months, at least.

[zooooom]

Been struggling with weight all my life, now 25.5 and the first recognition was when I was 15 and starting to get self-conscious about myself. Ever since then I've never been comfortable anywhere. I've always tried to make changes but I've lived a pretty sheltered and lonely life and been okay with it so it was never an absolute imperative to improve myself, always on the list but never a priority. Time has finally caught up to be though, I'm too old to be so insecure about my looks and in turn everything else. I've never seen myself at my peak and I'd like to try and change that.

Last year around February I made a great attempt and got down from 250 to 220 but then inexplicably quit and crept back up again. I've started about a million times by now, to my credit the attempts usually don't last very long so I'm not a yo-yo-er or anything like that, I just never applied myself longer than a few weeks. Now that it's summer again and the coats come off I get a real good look at myself before going outside and feel miserable. I've made the workout and food plans since a year ago when it was working well so I don't really need to do any research.

I have a ton of things I'd like to list on what I'd like to improve and how much better I'd like to feel but that's all nonsense if I don't get anywhere with it. it'll hardly unburden me to reach into my mind and look at a perfect me and a better life so I won't try right now. Pics and measurements coming Sunday/Monday.

Just want to go hard for three months. I've done absolutely nothing for myself the last 25 years, what's 01% of that time? It's kinda crazy I can fix this situation with just a year of hard work and dedication, and even though I'm not "irresponsible young" I'm still relatively young enough to turn it around.

[zooooom]

5'9 265.4

Stomach = 51.5"
Waist = 46"
Chest = 46.7"

Starting today with 5x5 Monday/Wednesday/Friday and Cardio on Tuesday/Thursday.

[zooooom]

2,000 cals a day

200g carbs
175g protein
56g fat

5x5 M/W/F

[zooooom]

For all intents and purposes I'm going to treat this as a day-to-day thing, I kind of need it. My scale may have been off when I started, making me weigh a lot less than I actually did. And the floor might be a bit lopsided, because there are different numbers depending on where you put the scales.

Extremely disappointing because I've nevertheless not been seeing the greatest results despite eating clean for about a month, and the measurements might have been a bit off with the tape. I have no idea where I've gone wrong, or even if I've actually gone wrong considering the inaccurate measurements everywhere. Kinda "let go" this weekend, not too badly however but I'm sure enough to at least do something damage. Currently at 266.2, I've hovered around that 265 range for a month now and never going that much lower.

Thus trying to start to write some stuff out every day in order to deal with these frustrations and not just giving up, which of course I won't. If anything I'm more focused now.

I have been going to the gym M/W/F though, and progressing decently on the 5x5, even though my overall weakness has meant the stalling of two exercises (Row and OHP), which I've demoted to 3x5. I'd rather do 3x5 with heavier weight than waste 2/3 sessions with the same weight, barely getting the reps up. It's basically Starting Strength anyway. And considering I'm starting from scratch I'd rather raise the weight and do less reps than keep floundering for a while.I'll admit I've not been doing the cardio, not that its make or break but I think I have to start now at least to try and kick start things.

Still aiming for 2000 calories, took a new measurement and weight and I've made a note of the exact spot I've weighed myself in, so that even if inaccurate I'll know whether progress is being made.

266.2
chest 46
waist 46.5
stomach 51.2