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  1. #121
    Registered User richard97's Avatar
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    I know the feel
    Fml
    Past two am and can't sleep
    Just like most other nights :/
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  2. #122
    Is getting stronger Serb-Muscle's Avatar
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    I have it brahs right now, I usually have air hunger 24/7 and inability to get deep satisfying breath it really sucks
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  3. #123
    Registered User Chillionaire's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by neverquit2012 View Post
    I keep a journal too bro. It really helps to write out how I'm feeling.

    There's a massive field at the park near my house and it's extremely windy. Sometimes, I'll go over there and just scream since nobody can hear me. I just want to get the pain out of my body, so I'll scream as loud as I can, hit my heavy bag as hard as I can, or run as far as I can. No matter how much I scream, punch, or run though, I can't get it all out.
    This is why I love the gym. Although I can't get the thoughts out of my head by punching things, I can give it all I got at the gym. If there's anything positive about depression, this is one good thing.
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  4. #124
    Registered User chrisatgrace's Avatar
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    Sup bros. Just wanted to share this. Just because you are depressed now doesn't mean you will always be. I spent from 19 years old to 22 in a deep pit of sadness always feeling sorry for myself and being a total beta. One day the switch just flipped in my head and I decided to live life positive and have a little self worth. Joining the gym and dem gaaainzzzz was a big part of it. Point is, things won't always be like they are now. There's hope, and you don't have to get a shrink or go on meds. You just need to lift and remember that you are valuable. Anyone who tells you otherwise can go f*ck themselves. As of now in the middle of my 23rd year I feel invincible, and @Chillionaire, it's definitely not a bad thing to go get some gym therapy. The release of neuro-chemicals from weightlifting is a major mood lifter. Keep positive bros!
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  5. #125
    Registered User MTCrazyKid's Avatar
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    Everyone gets depressed sometime in their life nothing wrong with that! Last October my girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me and I was depressed all the way til about two weeks ago.. Never came outta my room unless I absolutely had to and to go to work other then that I was always hiding and extremely messed up but sooner or later you just snap outta it! Or at least that's how I was with some help of my roommate
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  6. #126
    Registered User PimpMasterC's Avatar
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    Happiness is our default state as humans, so just be happy and think of all the awesome things you gonna do in the future.
    Speaking cold hard facts, no matter if it upsets you
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  7. #127
    Registered User AaronGn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by neverquit2012 View Post
    I began struggling with depression back when I was 13 years old. I'm 17 now, and it's worse than ever. I'm not usually the type to go seeking help on the internet, but I've gotten to the point where i'll do anything. Other than my gf recently leaving me, I haven't had really any extremely hard things happen to me in my lifetime. I've got a good life, good family, money, great education, potential, friends, etc... Life just constantly feels meaningless though. I know it's stupid and irrational, but I constantly struggle with bitterness, anger, and depression and I'm not even sure why. I used to be a fairly talkative, funny guy, but I barely even talk anymore. I'm very monotone, stone faced, and robotic. I feel apathetic and don't really care about anything. I used to like being around people, but I hate it now and prefer being alone. The only thing that give me any happiness or relief anymore is weightlifting. I've begun training 6 days a week, 3 hours a day just to get relief. I know my problem probably sounds irrational and retarded, but I need some help/advice. After almost 5 years of feeling hopeless and angry, i'll do just about anything. Have any of you guys ever struggle with this and overcome it? Do you have any tips or advice?
    It's all a mental strength man, everyone goes through depression (some deeper than others of course). The power to "not give a ****" is very strong, your depression can only get as deep as you let it. Life is short, might as well make the best of it homie, keep your head up and spend the rest of your life seeking the things that make you happiest. Cheers
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  8. #128
    Banned NoNeedlesGuy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PimpMasterC View Post
    Happiness is our default state as humans, so just be happy and think of all the awesome things you gonna do in the future.
    No it isn't.
    hacked brah
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  9. #129
    Registered User 122ren's Avatar
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    All those depressed. Don't do recreational drugs or watch porn. Srs. Kills your dopamine hits so it makes it harder to get happy. Depression and erectile dysfunction is commonly caused by the two also.
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  10. #130
    Registered User neverquit2012's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PimpMasterC View Post
    Happiness is our default state as humans, so just be happy and think of all the awesome things you gonna do in the future.
    Happiness is not our natural state. It's obviously what we desire, but it's not our natural state.
    TRUMP 2020!!!

    MAGA

    Hildabeast for PRISON 2016
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  11. #131
    Operator First Class Winnie1300's Avatar
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    I am depressed.

    I go from happy to depressed.

    I was feeling depressed for a few months and my GF broke up with me during this all.. that has not helped at all.

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  12. #132
    Registurd User Xaviesta11's Avatar
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    Was depressed as hell Sophmore and junior of HS. Brother was overseas in the war, parents fighting ( both physically/verbally), broke a window resulting in a cut nerve. Spent a whole year with a cast. I lived in paranoia for 7 straight months. Everyone I talked to at school I thought was a threat and got into fights handicapped as I had a cast(oh the pain). I had to take both physical therapy and depression/fear counseling. Was rough and a lot of crazy shizz went through my mind. But I am better now, and 10x greater the person I ever was. Keep your heads up guys!
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  13. #133
    Banned DesertFootball's Avatar
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    depressed as fuark atm feel like im about to do something stupid I want to go get arrested
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  14. #134
    Registered User itsalifestyle19's Avatar
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    all the time serious
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  15. #135
    Registered User ReadyForNewMe's Avatar
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    Yeah, I have depression as well. I've had it for two years but that is not much, seeing as though I'm only fourteen. What I like to do to make me feel better is go for walks, Zumba or do something productive. Exercise helps with depression in general. What I also do when my depression hits like a brick wall is to write, which is a lot better than what I'm quitting: cutting.
    At the moment I'm also on Lexapro for my depression and ADHD but its not really helping me. Good luck you guys with depression and any other mental illnesses! <3
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  16. #136
    Registered User Chillionaire's Avatar
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    Been feeling like **** for the past 7-8 months. My mind is really going haywire. Just been living without any sense of purpose for my whole life and I'm really just surviving. I don't even want to live another day anymore. This **** is killing me.
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  17. #137
    Registered Ectophag enlightened1one's Avatar
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    I know exactly how you feel, the best thing you can do is do avoid any prescriptions and especially drugs/alcohol, try to abstain from social media too. Go on walks with your parents or a friend, talk about things, keep lifting and eating healthy is the best remedy from my experience. Do things that truly make you happy and surround yourself with good people.
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  18. #138
    Registered User NightcoreStyle's Avatar
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    I really don't know. Im kinda sad that I don't have bf level to abs viewable. But also I want bigger muscles. My main priority is to get bigger , but I think I'll get too fat. wtf
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  19. #139
    Registered User UFakinJooocyCuz's Avatar
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    Unhappy

    Yeah I definitely am suffering from depression and severe anxiety at the moment. In late 2012 around November, we just got back from schoolies/leavers and I was at my biggest and best 5 ft 9 75kgs, 11%bf, 17.5 inch arms. I felt amazing and top of the world, until a few days later when I contracted a GI virus. After about a week I was eating again etc, but my stomach wasn't working properly and always made me feel ill, so I stopped eating. I've been to countless doctors and specialists but no one knows what's wrong. Since then I've dropped to 58.5kgs and lost all my muscle and severely depressed about it. It's like al my dreams have been crushed. I dreed of being a pro bodybuilder and now I can't even eat! I've had to defer university and now I just sit at home in pain all day. Just thought I'd contribute, sorry for th length, but its been built up for so long.
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  20. #140
    Registered User HollyEaster's Avatar
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    I've had depression and borderline personality disorder for years. Currently recovering from an eating disorder that accompanied the depression, although I'm still struggling with suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and just low self-esteem in general. I've been through it, and even though it's the hardest battle, it's a fight that's worth seeing through till the end. Good luck to everyone else out there, and keep your head up. Stay away from negative influences, be social and surround yourself with good people, get outside, make sure you eat healthy, and if you ever feel like doing something dangerous, lace up and go hit the pavement instead. You can do it.
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  21. #141
    Registered User UFakinJooocyCuz's Avatar
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    Smile

    Originally Posted by HollyEaster View Post
    I've had depression and borderline personality disorder for years. Currently recovering from an eating disorder that accompanied the depression, although I'm still struggling with suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and just low self-esteem in general. I've been through it, and even though it's the hardest battle, it's a fight that's worth seeing through till the end. Good luck to everyone else out there, and keep your head up. Stay away from negative influences, be social and surround yourself with good people, get outside, make sure you eat healthy, and if you ever feel like doing something dangerous, lace up and go hit the pavement instead. You can do it.
    That's really good advice man, thanks a lot. It's been really tough for me losing 20kgs of muscle that I worked for, and not even being able to eat enough, but I hope and pray it just ends soon, and they find out what's wrong.
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  22. #142
    Registered User raz2112's Avatar
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    I am experiencing the exact same thing. Since 13 'till 17 (now). But even it is worse than ever i started doing sports on a regular basis and i just feel ****ing good if i just ride 2-3 hours with max speed on my bicycle. Also seriously: NO FAP. It helps you getting much more self confidence.

    Eat healthy (fiber,fruits,milk etc.),do sports regularly,stop fapping for at least 30 days,go out and meet people.
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  23. #143
    Registered User Chillionaire's Avatar
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    >I have always found it hard to make friends in my entire life; I'm talking genuine friends, not acquaintances that just say hi to me in the halls
    >Feeling pretty lonely down here
    >Depression & loneliness
    >No friends to talk to
    >Depression & Loneliness
    >Lack of social skills as a result from being isolated for my entire life
    >Perpetual positive feedback loop

    I can tell that people want to get to know me, but I don't have much to share. I've become that person that just operates by doing good deeds for people without actually getting to know them; I feel that is the purpose of my life, to go around committing random acts of kindness. It sounds honorable, but that lack of connection is killing me. A couple years ago, I was told by an acquaintance that I need to meet people halfway; that I'm basically not investing in friendships. That has really bogged me down these last couple years and yet to this day, I believe what he said to me is true. I just don't know how to invest in a relationship if I have nothing to offer but the work of my hands and feet. People don't want a servant, they want connections.

    I just don't know what it takes to commit to a relationship. Then there's a girl who clearly shows interest and whom I also like. It's like this opportunity to invest in a relationship with her is slipping away because I don't feel adequately equipped to socially connect with her.

    There is a magnet inside of me that makes me want to serve in Africa doing volunteer work. This is what I feel to be my top priority in life. It's an attraction to doing this kind of work that I cannot escape. However, I also worry that I cannot be who I want to be because volunteering takes teamwork, which requires a deeper connection between individuals.

    The chasm between my self-actualization and reality is killing me...I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I really don't...
    Last edited by Chillionaire; 05-07-2013 at 02:23 PM.
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  24. #144
    Registered User Michaellax28's Avatar
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    I'm not depressed but I have pretty low self-esteem if that makes sense. Never had a girlfriend, literally have one friend because they all ditched me. Feels bad, especially when you have no one to talk to or hang out with. I'm glad I get really good grades at school though so I know I will get a good job if all goes well.
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  25. #145
    Registered User Chillionaire's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Michaellax28 View Post
    I'm not depressed but I have pretty low self-esteem if that makes sense. Never had a girlfriend, literally have one friend because they all ditched me. Feels bad, especially when you have no one to talk to or hang out with. I'm glad I get really good grades at school though so I know I will get a good job if all goes well.
    It's that bit of hope that keeps us moving along.
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  26. #146
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    Mine is kinda on and off. More recently, it pops up randomly a few times a week. I think it may have started in middle school. I did well in school. Had a few friends but there were always people who bullied me and told me that I sucked. And the worst part was that I believed them. I got addicted to a computer game that no one in my school played. I played it on and off when I should've spent time doing something more productive. Through high school, there were people who made fun of me in my group of friends. I didn't like them but I wanted to be a part of the group because I was in the same class with same people for almost every class.

    Never had a gf. One time I thought I asked a girl out and she was my girlfriend, it was a miscommunication and I embarrassed myself. Every time I talked to a girl for a bit it'd only be through facebook chat or text and even that ceased after a while.

    My parents think that they don't have to say "good job" because they think I know that they're proud of me. But when I tell them my accomplishments and they say nothing, I feel like they don't even care. In more recent years, I find it difficult to hold conversations with people. I just feel like there's not enough to talk about or I exhaust some topics and then there's nothing left to speak about. I feel beta as crap yet I'm taking on 9 AP tests, I dress well, run fast, and am one of the strongest and most ripped kids in my classes. This year it feels like no one wants me anywhere. The other day I went to lunch with classmates and someone jokingly asked "who invited [me]." I took it seriously. I feel like I'm never invited to anything and that I don't even cross anyone's mind.

    To top it off, I had one good friend this year who changed and more or less stabbed me in the back. I knew this guy for about a decade. He was my friend all throughout middle school and high school and suddenly he changed senior year. He would just be a jerk to me and would suck up to the kids who he thought was cool. I never see him anymore except for in class and he has changed completely. I don't like the kid one bit anymore. I used to hang out with him all the time. I remember we'd said that we'd even go to the same college. I really only have 1 friend I hang out with out of school. Also, the college I'm going to people always make fun of because it's in state so people say "oh everyone gets in" when that's not necessarily true. The acceptance rate is high but it doesn't mean that they have to slander the name while I'm right there.

    Oh and to top it off, I've had acne since like 6th grade. It was the worst during junior year. But I always felt like I was ugly and couldn't look at people. I felt like people didn't like me cause of it. While I try to tell myself that I look good or am smart, I can't believe it. 9 AP courses will give me 32 credits in college and it's the most that perhaps anyone has ever taken in my school's history in one year. I self taught 4 of the subjects in practically a month that most people take a class for an entire year and sometimes still don't do as well. I get A's and high B's. I am ripped. Dress pretty decently. But after all of that, I keep trying and never feel it.

    I hate myself.

    Cliffnotes:
    -no gf, embarrassment
    -acne
    -best friend betrayed me
    -always a person who bullies me in my group of friends
    -hard time holding conversations
    -no one invites my anywhere no matter how well things go socially in school
    -people make fun of the school I go to in front of my face
    -parents don't think need to say "good job" when I tell them accomplishments
    -I bust my *ss and no matter what I accomplish I hate myself
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  27. #147
    Registered User Chillionaire's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cuzimjj View Post
    Mine is kinda on and off. More recently, it pops up randomly a few times a week. I think it may have started in middle school. I did well in school. Had a few friends but there were always people who bullied me and told me that I sucked. And the worst part was that I believed them. I got addicted to a computer game that no one in my school played. I played it on and off when I should've spent time doing something more productive. Through high school, there were people who made fun of me in my group of friends. I didn't like them but I wanted to be a part of the group because I was in the same class with same people for almost every class.

    Never had a gf. One time I thought I asked a girl out and she was my girlfriend, it was a miscommunication and I embarrassed myself. Every time I talked to a girl for a bit it'd only be through facebook chat or text and even that ceased after a while.

    My parents think that they don't have to say "good job" because they think I know that they're proud of me. But when I tell them my accomplishments and they say nothing, I feel like they don't even care. In more recent years, I find it difficult to hold conversations with people. I just feel like there's not enough to talk about or I exhaust some topics and then there's nothing left to speak about. I feel beta as crap yet I'm taking on 9 AP tests, I dress well, run fast, and am one of the strongest and most ripped kids in my classes. This year it feels like no one wants me anywhere. The other day I went to lunch with classmates and someone jokingly asked "who invited [me]." I took it seriously. I feel like I'm never invited to anything and that I don't even cross anyone's mind.

    To top it off, I had one good friend this year who changed and more or less stabbed me in the back. I knew this guy for about a decade. He was my friend all throughout middle school and high school and suddenly he changed senior year. He would just be a jerk to me and would suck up to the kids who he thought was cool. I never see him anymore except for in class and he has changed completely. I don't like the kid one bit anymore. I used to hang out with him all the time. I remember we'd said that we'd even go to the same college. I really only have 1 friend I hang out with out of school. Also, the college I'm going to people always make fun of because it's in state so people say "oh everyone gets in" when that's not necessarily true. The acceptance rate is high but it doesn't mean that they have to slander the name while I'm right there.

    Oh and to top it off, I've had acne since like 6th grade. It was the worst during junior year. But I always felt like I was ugly and couldn't look at people. I felt like people didn't like me cause of it. While I try to tell myself that I look good or am smart, I can't believe it. 9 AP courses will give me 32 credits in college and it's the most that perhaps anyone has ever taken in my school's history in one year. I self taught 4 of the subjects in practically a month that most people take a class for an entire year and sometimes still don't do as well. I get A's and high B's. I am ripped. Dress pretty decently. But after all of that, I keep trying and never feel it.

    I hate myself.

    Cliffnotes:
    -no gf, embarrassment
    -acne
    -best friend betrayed me
    -always a person who bullies me in my group of friends
    -hard time holding conversations
    -no one invites my anywhere no matter how well things go socially in school
    -people make fun of the school I go to in front of my face
    -parents don't think need to say "good job" when I tell them accomplishments
    -I bust my *ss and no matter what I accomplish I hate myself
    I feel you.
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  28. #148
    Registered User RCinTraining's Avatar
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    RCinTraining is offline
    So I've been reading through these posts and I can definitely tell some of you are in a dark place.

    I found myself in a dark place some time ago as well. I've been pushing through all the sh!t alone,finally got over it,though I still consider myself in recovery,but I'm about 80-90% there.

    Anyway , I realize how important it is to have someone to talk to since I never really did, so if any of you ever find yourselves in need of quality advice , want to vent , or just wanna say "phuck you" to someone , feel free to PM me and I'll get back at you.
    In the end , the warrior that survived is the one that was always willing to die.
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  29. #149
    Registered User Jozu777's Avatar
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    Would like to also vouch for keeping a journal

    Most people I talk to with depression can relate to that feel of either being really happy or depressed, and on either one they can't see the other side.

    Like, when I'm super happy I think "wow this is fukken awesome, maybe i'm finally out of my depression, i just gotta remember how this felt and i won't be depressed again"

    And then when I crash and become depressed again I can't really relate to that feeling of contentment and happiness in your current frame of mind. Its really frustrating.

    So I have a journal and whenever I have a really happy time then I write down the situation and what was going on. I write my daily life in it too. It really helps when depressed and thinking your life is not worth living to look back and see that even if you feel like chit today, about a week ago I felt like I was on top of the world.

    You guys should really try cognitive behavioral therapy. It really helps when a professional can help you identify whats going on in your mind and how depressed thoughts are not necessarily true/logical, and they are always half-truths at best.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_reasoning
    "“But as in landlessness alone resides the highest truth, shoreless, indefinite as God - so better is it to perish in that howling infinite, than be ingloriously dashed upon the lee, even if that were safety! For worm-like, then, oh! who would craven crawl to land!”
    -Moby Dick
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  30. #150
    Registered User SlayerEnraged's Avatar
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    I think I'm more depressed than ever. Want to do so many things but can't seem to fit them all in.
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