Eating Disorder Support Thread: Recovery in Numbers (2nd Edition)

[fldhkybnva]

@SM15

Please do not advise anyone around her to count or track calories. It's triggering for many people and specifically it would only be more detrimental to StanPT.

[StanPT]

@sm15 - I think counting calories as FLB said made things worse for me. They are useful if you don't have such a distorted life around food, plus I don't trust someone telling me I need X amount of food based on my height and weight. Maybe I need more, maybe I need less.

@FLD can you remember how you feel when someone makes a positive comment, such as ''He's fit, I'd go out wit him'' or ''Isn't he good looking'' these comments make you feel ok for 1 day. Now remember those comments where a negative comes, such as ''You've gained weight'' or ''Yuck! look at him'' these comments stay with you for a very long time. A comment you made about repeating myself and not listening is true. I do listen and take on the advice, but it's quickly pushed out and I need to keep reminding myself of it.

I've felt pretty good today. No fullness, no exercise (Only tonight because I need to train for enjoyment) they only problem I had so far is standing for half an hour deciding what to eat and avoid. It tired me out.

[fldhkybnva]

@StanPT

Yes, I remember everything about how you feel right now, I was living in hell and you are too. As my therapist always says, there is another choice. You can make another choice. You have power in this situation and you decide whether to use it or not. Do or do not, there is no try.

"The only problem I had so far is standing for half an hour deciding what to eat and avoid. It tired me out." One day, I hope, you will get decide this is no way to live. Until then you will be tired, you will feel exhausted, you will run in circles.

[StanPT]

@FLD Too true. I can see where I want to be, but I haven't got the directions to it as yet.

I know that one day when I look down on the mountain I've climbed (with the directions in hand) I'll realise it wasn't that steep and that I can finally say I've arrived. And when this happens I'll walk back down and hand those directions to someone else who is struggling. They'll face some tough steps and huge setbacks, but if they follow these directions they'll get there too.

[fldhkybnva]

@StanPT

The directions are called therapy

[Guardian]

What is the lowest amount of carbs a 185 pound lifting male should be consuming a day?

[SM15]

@sm15 - I think counting calories as FLB said made things worse for me. They are useful if you don't have such a distorted life around food, plus I don't trust someone telling me I need X amount of food based on my height and weight. Maybe I need more, maybe I need less.

@FLD can you remember how you feel when someone makes a positive comment, such as ''He's fit, I'd go out wit him'' or ''Isn't he good looking'' these comments make you feel ok for 1 day. Now remember those comments where a negative comes, such as ''You've gained weight'' or ''Yuck! look at him'' these comments stay with you for a very long time. A comment you made about repeating myself and not listening is true. I do listen and take on the advice, but it's quickly pushed out and I need to keep reminding myself of it.

I've felt pretty good today. No fullness, no exercise (Only tonight because I need to train for enjoyment) they only problem I had so far is standing for half an hour deciding what to eat and avoid. It tired me out.

Glad to hear you had a good day, Stan. Make tomorrow even better. In my experiences, one good day is contagious in that they can lead to many more. It's important to build a string of positives in which to build on. I hope you continue to have good days, continuing tomorrow. I'm rooting for you.

[ErikTheElectric]

@ Guardian

This isn't the place for that.

@ Stan

You don't need to train for enjoyment. Why don't you try doing something else for "enjoyment"

1. Go see a movie, watch TV.
2. Go for a walk, beach, etc
3. Hang out with a friend


@SM

Try not to reply quote, it clutters the thread.

Use the @_______ (persons name)

[mtb4life95]

So Sunday was my first day back from college, and also my 2nd week binge free. In the car I definitely overindulged in nature's valley granola bars. Not a binge, just overate a bit. Was completely able to stop myself. Went out to dinner with my brother and got pizza, and a McFlurry. Not a single macro was tracked. Like I said, I definitely over ate a bit, but didn't binge, didn't stuff myself, and didn't feel guilty. Usually going out to eat is a total trigger for me to binge, but this time I had no urge to eat until I felt uncomfortable. Idk if you guys really care, but it definitely helps me to post my little successes on this thread, as minuscule as they may be.

[fldhkybnva]

@mtb4life95

Progress is progress. It's great you've made such steps. Small steps, while small, get us where we need to be.

[ErikTheElectric]

@ MTB


"miniscule successes" are fantastic. Sharing them with others can be extremely helpful. What may seem like something small and minor to one, may be completely different in another persons eyes.

Keep up the good work.

[shesprints]

@Guardian, clearly, whatever amount of carbs you are getting is inadequate, as clearly your brain glucose is so low it has impaired your judgment. Somehow you think it's appropriate to ask a thread full of people with eating disorders to recommend a macro split? That's not wise, either for our sake OR yours. See a registered dietitian and please leave this thread.

@MTB, way to GO! I have to say, I honestly admire you and Tana for being able to go out and enjoy more food than usual without freaking out, without binging, and truly enjoy it in a social setting. I'm still not there myself but I'm getting better all the time, so it's great to see others who are becoming less rigid.

[Tana22]

@MTB posting successes are great I always get a boosts seeing the positives in other peoples journeys, no matter how small they seem. My treatment team keep telling me every tiny resistance by 'me' chips away at my "EDs" strength over me, eventually these all add up! I've eaten toast every day this week, for other people that seems like nothing, for me thats a total ED win, for so long I've avoided toast because of my previously strict paleo approach, first time was hard, I was sooo anxious...on to day four now and nothing

[SM15]

@Tana

That's great! Keep it up. As others have said above, the small "victories" can lead to additional positives. I hope you continue your wins this week. Great work and you can do it!

[XCRunner9]

@Stan

I'm seriously worried about you. I've been lurking and looking at your posts and you haven't progressed at all. Even when FLD tells you that you need to eat more during the day, you disregard it and even recently mentioned not eating enough for the past 2 days and then mention "eating when you're not even hungry." That is a sign of your body craving food and you don't even realize it because you've most likely messed up your appetite. I had that too. I was at a very low weight, restricted, binged, repeated cycle, and was complaining about how I was eating when I wasn't hungry. This was in reality, my body craving more food and my lack of hunger was caused by simply messing up my appetite. That was a year ago, and believe me, eating more during the day, and more in general will definitely help solve the binging. Again, that's my advice and feelings on the whole subject.

@Guardian

While SheSprints did sound a bit harsh about this (for understandable reasons), this isn't the place for it. I suggest making a thread to post this in the Nutrition section, but not here when carbs are the last thing people need to worry about.

[walruses]

As a person who is recovering from an eating disorder, I want to remind you all to make sure you love your bodies today!! <3

PS: here are my two cents for the day...I know that when many people are going about recovering from an eating disorder, they try to prevent themselves from being in situations where they might binge. This might cause you to restrict more leading to a greater binge! Try preventative strategies to keep you from restricting Give yourself the fuel you need as food is meant to heal

[mtb4life95]

@All
thanks for the support guys. you don't know how much this thread as helped me.

[Gui524]

@StanPT
the best thing you can do right now is ask to be perma-banned from this site and contact a clinic ... You say you can't accept gaining weight but you NEED to. You do know you can lose fat later when you are at a healthy weight and mind right? Do you prefer to feel ****ty and feel the need to post here multiple times a day or to gain weight, get into a higher bodyfat and get better?

[markrezekalla]

Hi guys, this is actually my first post and Im sure this is the perfect place to start!

Well to get straight to the point I was born pre-mature, and had leukemia as child. Im 5 11 and I weight 108lbs current age 24yrs old. For the life of me I always have a hard time eating. I always get hungry then when the food comes my appetite gets shot, and alot of times when eating I get anxiety and im unable to eat. I really wanna change the way I look it really disgusts me and I know my age and weight and height is Extremely unhealthy.

What is my eating disorder? what can I do to remedy? Any input is much appreciated

-Mark

[determined4000]

@markrezekalla

You are certainly at an unhealthy weight an you should seek medical and psychologcical help from professionals. You could have done damage to your body already and you need some doctors to follow your condition.
Have you considered any treatment programs?

How long have you been dealing with this? Have you told a friend or your family/someone else you can trust ad confide in.

It is clear ifif you are left to your own, you probably won't be able to beat this becuase your mind is just too cluttered. You need to become accountable to someone.

If you are really disgusted with your body,. then use that as motivation to eat and get healthy. You may not BE hungry, but is eating when not hungry worse pain than the disgust you feel?

[ErikTheElectric]

@ Mark


I'm glad that you took the time to post, this is a "good place to start" but at the end of the day. You need to seek help and advice from your physician because you ARE severely underweight and likely malnourished. I was going to ask your height, but quite frankly it's irrelevant. NO healthy adult male should be at your weight. At this point, you should be doing all that you can to get evaluated by your physician, and get seen by a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

[Catie104]

Ok well im a 16 year old female and I am struggling with a binge eating disorder (I think, I have not seen a professional about it). Well I was always a healthy strong kid until I was 14 and then i developed anorexia. I was fed through a tube in hospital and brought back to a healthy weight and then discharged. My "team" consisting of my local gp, a nutritionist and a phsyciatrist have not seen me for months because I was showing great progress and maintaining a healthy weight. Well then I all of a sudden started binge eating. I dont remember how it began but I got in a horrible cycle and was skipping days of school and calling in sick to work just so I could binge and then I would spend the next 2 days restricting and bike riding for hours on end. The binging has gotten worse (eating 10,000 plus calories in just one day). I am 175cm tall and weigh around 55kg but it changes all the time and I am gaining weight rapidly now. I used to eat about 1800 calories a day but now I binge (always exceeding 5000cals, and then restrict having about 300 a day).
I just want it to end. I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice on how to
A: Not eat until i feel sick and devour everything in sight every weekend
B: Resist the 'need' to always finish packets of things (i can never just have one slice of cake or cookie, it always has to be the whole thing)
C: Stop thinking about food all the time
Thanks

[Mncdk]

and a phsyciatrist have not seen me for months because I was showing great progress

You are not done, it seems. You have to keep getting healthy, even when you 'get better' you need to put more effort into it still.
Get in touch with your psychiatrist again, ASAP.

[shesprints]

@Catie, oh, dear, I feel so much for you. I was in almost EXACTLY the same situation you are. In my case:

anorexia age 14
treatment team left me at too low a weight
I relapsed and refused to go back into treatment
... annnd then I snapped and began binging.
This is a VERY common pattern. I am not a binge eater by nature; it was only triggered by restriction and by trying to remain at a weight too low for my body frame.

Your weight is still very low for your height. It's likely that your body is still fighting to regain healthy weight, hence the binge urges. Binging in the wake of anorexia is NOT the same as BED, which is NOT triggered by restriction.

You need to begin treatment again. Find a new therapist and/or RD if you don't get along with the old ones. STOP trying to restrict your diet. Restriction is what triggers binging for those of us with histories of anorexia. Stop restricting--either food type or amount--and construct structured, adequatedly-sized meals that you eat preferably around other people. Your urges to binge should decrease.

In addition, I highly recommend you see a medical doctor to address issues like hormones that may not yet be recovered from your anorexia.

[SM15]

@Catie -

I would definitely recommend seeing a health care professional or a therapy, as soon as possible. DO NOT restrict yourself from eating. If you binge one day, forget it happened the next day and eat your regular caloric intake, which sounds like 1800 calories. Don't beat yourself up over things. You are a human being. You are not perfect or flawless. It is human nature to make mistakes. However, it is imperative to address the situation and get on the right track.

Think about eating like this. Eat only enough to "fuel" your body for a few hours or so. Do not eat until you are beyond full. By doing this you will not feel the pressure to continue to eat until you stuff yourself. I hope this helps.

[fldhkybnva]

@Catie104

I recommend you make an appointment to see your therapist. Unfortunately, for many, eating disorders are lifelong if not chronic and relapsing illnesses. You made great progress in the past so perhaps re-entering treatment would be best.

[fldhkybnva]

@SM15

"Think about eating like this. Eat only enough to "fuel" your body for a few hours or so. Do not eat until you are beyond full. By doing this you will not feel the pressure to continue to eat until you stuff yourself. I hope this helps."

Yes, sounds perfectly logical. Unfortunately the issue with an eating disorder is this rational, logical thought usually does not work. For years, I could rationalize everything to myself but that didn't stop the behavior.

[universalpak]

Hello,

can I grow up some mass with eating protein and fat and very low carbohydrate? I mean if I can build some mass eating only protein and fat and no carbohydrate? Thanks (worst english sorry)

[ErikTheElectric]

^ Wrong thread for this .

Please post in the main section.

[poshbird]

anyone have tips on stopping B/P? I'm currently awaiting therapy, there is a waiting list