As your venerable elder, I will rain down priceless wisdom on you small sons.

[WinterWoIf]

incoming massive blogwall of text to procrastinate from continuing to study for this 8am anatomy & physiology exam I already know 99% of. I think a number of you can relate to this, especially those thinking about doing phs/roids/whatever people do nowadays. I imagine you guys are going to ask for cliffs so I'll add a summary at the bottom.



Stop trying to define yourselves by weightlifting you cheeky kunts.

I did it during high school to cover up my insecurities, which isn't necessarily a bad thing---I think pride is a better word, it doesn't have the same negative connotation---and while I did get some out of it, it ****ed up my growth as a person. Yes, I got laid, was decently well-known, I suppose I had a decent amount of respect, and people didn't mess with me. I suppose that's what most teens are looking for, especially you prideful little ****s like myself that think you can define your life by the amount of women you sleep with and the respect your peers give you. Still, going about it through by becoming obsessed with bodybuilding is not the way to go. Also tied to that mentality is the whole misc ideal of being an "alpha" or "beta", which has pretty much gone hand-in-hand with the teen misc since at least around 2008. While it's an attempt at developing your personality along with your physical appearance, it's based on a bunch of macho "meathead" bull**** of being some intimidating leader of men at 17.

Before I got into weightlifting I was into all kinds of ****. My Christmas and birthday gifts would just be boxes of novels my parents would pick up. By the time I was 15 I had probably read around three hundred books or so. Got into weightlifting, sort of fell to the wayside. Why waste my time with some biography or popular science book when I can read about the best tempo for your bench press negative? I've recently started up again but damn, there was a fairly large gap there that I spent obsessing over what may make my ****ty biceps grow an extra .05 of an inch instead of educating myself and enjoying a good read.

I also used to write, a lot. Poetry, short stories, novels. Won a bunch of awards, some state, one national (I don't know how many people I went against but my category had 15,000 from my state at least). They didn't particularly bring me happiness even though my English teacher was ecstatic over me. I wish now I had pursued that path in my life instead of weightlifting.

I also wonder if it would make any difference. I don't think anything I've ever done has actually made me 'happy'. More just satisfied with a success. Losing my virginity, first girlfriend, 5 plate deadlift, hitting 170, then 180, then 190, etc., never really made me feel whatever positive little physiological rush I think of when I hear the term 'happiness'. Just the desire to get the next girl, the next goal, whatever. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Nowadays when I look back I don't even feel pride or success over my achievements. They were just events.

I guess one of the things that made me obsess about bodybuilding is the whole 'RPG aspect' of leveling up, the little bits of instant gratification from a PR or a compliment. On a related note, the compliments never really made me happy either. Never really made me feel anything. I honestly don't understand what people are talking about when they talk about when they say they feel happiness, or feeling attractive, or whatever (no sociopath?). I'm about as emotional as a rock. Compliments never made me feel good, but when I didn't get my daily ego boost I did feel like I was doing something wrong. Even nowadays when I have a dry spell with women I feel that little nibbling feeling of inadequacy, but when I get attention from them it's just sort of a conscious acknowledgement of a compliment.

I stopped writing when I was around 16, less than a year after I got into bodybuilding, and haven't written more than a couple paragraphs and basic novel outlines since. I became defined by my weightlifting. When I first joined these forums I was an attention-hungry little ****, probably because I received little in real life. I moved high schools five times before settling down junior year. Bodybuilding was my coping mechanism for being the new kid and having no one. When I was average and babbled about going to the gym all the time, people looked at me like I was stupid, but I was oblivious.

People later told me about how I would talk all the time about how swole I was becoming, how I was going to lift later, etc. but I didn't really realize at the time how annoying I was being. I had gone through the exhilarating rush of all these little instant gratifications---140, 150, 160. 1 plate squat, 2 plate squat. I started off February 4, 2008, having no one, weighing about 135, squatting 85 pounds, benching the bar, deadlifting 95 pounds. I read up on bodybuilding and while everyone else benched and curled, I tried to set a 5 pound PR from my last pathetic week. My prime was around 17-18, weighing 190 at around 11-12% (on a very slender ectomorph frame), 405 x 3 squat, 500 deadlift, 295 bench.

People would scoff at me talking about the gym and I thought, these people just don't understand my obsession and dedication. I still do feel that most people can't understand the mindset of a dedicated athlete because few pursuits require that kind of commitment and mental fortitude. I still lift and love it, 4 years and 10 months later, on a regular basis, though the fervor has sort of died down (likely tied to being a poor college student that can't afford much more than chicken and milk).

Anyway, since people didn't externally see my internal obsession, I got even more into it. I don't think I consciously wanted to use any sort of prohormone or steroid but I knew other teen miscers that ordered them, had second thoughts, and gave them to me for free. From what I can remember, I've gotten two bottles of mdrol, one of hdrol, three vials of test, liver support, cycle support, ~4 bottles of nolva for free, from a bunch of different people. If they wanted to be pussies and not do them, fine, I really didn't give a **** and was dedicated to the cause of being swole and macho. Haven't grown since then really, stuck at around 5'10, makes me wonder if I'd be taller or if it's had any effect on my hormones nowadays.

Lo and behold, I got what I wanted. My babbling about the gym finally became legitimate, since I was big, lean, and cheeky. I became part of the whole meathead clique at the school---all the jocks, normal athletes, people who just lifted for fun. Weightlifting is one of the best ways to meet friends IMO, there's always a sort of unspoken bond of attempted self-improvement that bridges people on a personal level. Anyway, I went from being the slightly eccentric, trollish, attention-seeking kid to a swole, inspirational god-figure reigning supreme.

Though it didn't bother me at the time, everything about me was defined by weightlifting. EVERY person I met's first sentence was some comment about my size. All rumors about me were related to hormones (which I initially freely admitted to, later one of my younger female cousins that lived 30 minutes away with no mutual friends told me she had heard I use steroids and I hushed up after that eye-opener), my weightlifting, some troll musclehead thing I had done, whatever. Really that's the dream, isn't it? Being the gym monster that people ask advice from, girls eye****, no guy will ever talk **** to my face, other kids stare at while he lifts at the school gym.

Here's the summary of my findings, still long: But in retrospect, it's all...nothing. You're just a meathead really. You're kind of a zoo exhibit. My entire social life was based around my appearance. Perfectly fine for high school, but I ended up moving 10 hours away from that high school. I based my entire life on bodybuilding, being a fountain of weightlifting knowledge. Teens/teen miscers to this day ask me "should I use a ph/roids" and I know, even if people say "it's for my own personal gain", it's to fill that empty little hole inside.

Up until I was 18 I would say, yes, of course it's worth it, those are some of the best times of your life. But then I reached college, where I knew nothing and no one, and really had nothing but my appearance. I was the same as that 15-year-old new kid, except this time with bigger muscles. I've always been a bit of a loner and introspective, I can't party more than two nights in a row without completely burning out and needing to relax in my room for a week. While I can talk for hours with friends, I never bothered to develop any social skills for meeting strangers; I jumped from a relative unknown to popular in no time based solely on the physical. The parties I went to, I knew most people and everyone knew me.

So here I am in college, learning what I should have learned in high school---probably more like middle school or before, but I moved around so much and had no consistency in my life. I know people, have my groups, I try to be somewhat outgoing, but if I don't consciously think about it I'll completely blow off some girl trying to strike up a convo without a second glance, or some guy will try to be friendly and I never take the next step to invite him to hang out (I guess we'd probably go lift, since that's what I know).

I'm still a good bit above average physique and strength-wise, though I'm only around 170 7-8% now and I dwindle daily because of lack of food and all the focus I put into studying.

Summary of summary: But in college, you learn there is always some bigger and badder mother****er out there. No one brings up my size on our first meeting anymore, when you have seniors at 6'6 270 pounds stomping around campus. Who knows if I would have grown a couple inches more or been a bit more outgoing if I hadn't ****ed with my hormones at 17. I would not do hormones again in retrospect. Getting one year of gains in a couple months seems amazing at the time, then you stay there for the next 10 months; when that year's past you're still at the same spot natty or not. Bam, bam, bam, all that instant gratification as you wake up the next morning and see you've gained an entire pound. I love myself, I enjoy spending time alone when I do, but weightlifting and striving to be "alpha" was a crutch that stunted my growth.

There are a lot of things you can define yourself by in high school. Don't make it solely about weightlifting, or try to patch up your inadequacies with the gym. Don't focus on being "alpha"---omg does this text seem beta, omg I broke eye contact with this cute girl in the hallway first, my ex-friend made a joke about me should I be alpha and beat his ass? No one but you gives a ****. 99% of these situations are forgotten an hour later while you make threads obsessing about this ****. Focus on just developing yourself a person and finding your place in the world.

I still look at myself all the time in the mirror and flex. When I'm having a great physique day, I feel...nothing. When I look like **** or have a bad lift, I feel like I've failed myself. I wish I could rely on my looks still but in the end, life can be rough.

cliffs:


- tried to get attention and respect through weightlifting.
- went to hormones, turned my obsession into reality.
- got a lot of good benefits but became defined by my appearance, never really earned my place socially
- came into college stunted as a person, find it hard to form relationships with anyone
- try instead to fully realize yourself as a person, don't base your life on trying to be "swole" or "alpha"

anyway ye, back to studying.

[sxxr]

good read

[Xuaxace]

Long time dude!


Just read cliffs and totally agree, I think lately, too much of me has focused around weightlifting lately, though not sorely the persuit of "aesthetics", never trained for size or anything. I am simply fascinated by the human body. So much so that I am changing my career from finance to physiotherapy.

[WinterWoIf]

Long time dude!


Just read cliffs and totally agree, I think lately, too much of me has focused around weightlifting lately, though not sorely the persuit of "aesthetics", never trained for size or anything. I am simply fascinated by the human body. So much so that I am changing my career from finance to physiotherapy.

The human body in general is interesting. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance between the intellectual knowledge of what occurs and the conscious understanding of it as it's applied to yourself and others. Learning all the little chemical interactions/physiology, the anatomy, psychology, sociology, really my favorite things in college. Physiotherapy is a kind of ****ty major though tbh as a B.S., all of those exercise science-like degrees have little value that being a charismatic, certified personal trainer won't give you. Even biology degrees are a bit pointless unless you plan on going to some grad school. If your goal (which it is, I'm guessing) is being a physical therapist, still not so sure. I've heard PT is kind of a boring path, I considered it but I'd rather go for physician's assistant over PT for the salary boost + demand + possibilities it offers.

A&P exam time.

[bogui94]

Great post!
Bookmarking it for later viewing.

[DDon1996]

Wot in the actual fok.

No wonder you don't FB/texty anymore, you went insane. Kissiekissie<3

\/\/\/\/ wot

[Jericoe]

good read, although im sure the ph's didnt stunt your growth

[Baddog079]

Did not read...

Ask me some questions from your A&P exam!

[tdlfctnn123]

The human body in general is interesting. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance between the intellectual knowledge of what occurs and the conscious understanding of it as it's applied to yourself and others. Learning all the little chemical interactions/physiology, the anatomy, psychology, sociology, really my favorite things in college. Physiotherapy is a kind of ****ty major though tbh as a B.S., all of those exercise science-like degrees have little value that being a charismatic, certified personal trainer won't give you. Even biology degrees are a bit pointless unless you plan on going to some grad school. If your goal (which it is, I'm guessing) is being a physical therapist, still not so sure. I've heard PT is kind of a boring path, I considered it but I'd rather go for physician's assistant over PT for the salary boost + demand + possibilities it offers.

A&P exam time.

Smartest guy on bb.com

[SportbikerKid]

wow...great post

[Singh1996]

byootiful thread m8

[ninnyhammer]

long time no see.

I agree completely, which is why i also draw, write (in the process of writing a novel right now actually. Have 67 pages done ), read, and study a broad range of topics. Intelligence is of the highest value to me, but i also lift to improve myself in a holistic manner. Improving yourself through one aspect (lifting) is no better than the "nerds" who sit inside all day.

Self improvement should be looked at holistically. health and fitness, education (by which i mean actual knowledge, not school taught bullsht that you forget) and social prowess, should all be looked at and sought to improve by anyone who desires the best version of themselves.

[grux12]

good read, although im sure the ph's didnt stunt your growth

Reasonably certain that the "stunted as a person" bit was about his personality.

[Jericoe]

Reasonably certain that the "stunted as a person" bit was about his personality.

well that flew right over my head

[Beowu1f]

Maturity and intelligence really shines bright in a place like T-Misc. I gained something from this thread, ty OP

[M0hi]

I haven't seen you post in forever
and the first thing you do when you get back
is tear open a void in what I thought was my world and leave me with nothing
**** you op, just **** you



Good to see you back and good read.

[KCBadBoy]

Hey brah

[WinterWoIf]

Wot in the actual fok.

No wonder you don't FB/texty anymore, you went insane. Kissiekissie<3

\/\/\/\/ wot

I have a new phone, don't really have many of the numbers of people I don't know IRL anymore. Plus that squat was parallel you little ****.

good read, although im sure the ph's didnt stunt your growth

Height wise it's just something I think about maybe once a year that I added in as a reminder of the potential health risks of hormones at a young age, it's one of those small potentials. Not really a big worry at all. But yes, I mostly mean as a social person.

Did not read...

Ask me some questions from your A&P exam!

I don't remember specific questions. I'll show some of the study guide though, there were about 200 questions/things to know on there total:

28) Know where the following cells fit into the process of spermatogenesis. Include the chromosome number.
a) Spermatogonia
b) Types A and B daughter cells
c) Primary spermatocyte
d) Secondary spermatocyte
e) Spermatid
29) Define spermiogenesis. Know the basic steps
30) Describe the 3 structural components of a sperm and state their function. Include acrosome.
31) Know the importance and functions of the Sustentacular/Sertoli cells. Include the following:
a) Basal compartment
b) Adluminal compartment
c) Blood-testis barrier
d) Testicular fluid
32) Know the importance and functions of the Interstitial/Leydig cells.
33) Identify the glands involved in the hormonal regulation of male reproductive functions.
34) Identify the 3 sets of hormones responsible for establishing balance between testosterone synthesis and sperm production. When does this begin and how long does it take?
35) Know the sequence of regulatory events involving the HPG axis.
36) State the function of the female reproductive system
37) Name the key internal reproductive organs and state their functions
38) Identify the structural components of the ovary. Include the following:
a) Medulla; blood vessels, nerves
b) Cortex; include the following:
i) Germinal epithelium, state the function
ii) Tunica albuginea
c) Ovarian follicles; include the following
i) Primary
ii) Secondary
iii) Tertiary (Graafian); include antrum
iv) Corpus luteum
39) Identify the ligaments that support the uterus and know their points of attachment. What is the principal support?
40) Describe the structure of the uterine tubes and state the functions. Include the following
a) Infundibulum
b) Fimbriae
c) Ampulla

Smartest guy on bb.com

nah brah, just your average god-genius nomsayin.

long time no see.

I agree completely, which is why i also draw, write (in the process of writing a novel right now actually. Have 67 pages done ), read, and study a broad range of topics. Intelligence is of the highest value to me, but i also lift to improve myself in a holistic manner. Improving yourself through one aspect (lifting) is no better than the "nerds" who sit inside all day.

Self improvement should be looked at holistically. health and fitness, education (by which i mean actual knowledge, not school taught bullsht that you forget) and social prowess, should all be looked at and sought to improve by anyone who desires the best version of themselves.

Right. I try to improve myself as a well-rounded person nowadays. Instead of just focusing on pure aesthetics or strength, I do cardio, bag work, olympic lifts, etc. I wish I still had the desire to write but it's been so long that when I pull up a document or try to write on a page, I can't get the first sentence down. I remember I used to just spend hours writing about whatever and it seemed to go by in minutes.

I'm doing the 52 books in 52 weeks challenge, though since it's coming towards final exams I've slowed down my pace a bit (did six books in three weeks before stopping). I'm a naturally very messy person so I try to minimize that a little bit, I always notice I feel a lot more relaxed and calm when everything around me is clean. The thing I like about college is to an extent you can learn what subjects interest you, so I don't have much of a problem with what school teaches you. On the other hand I found high school incredibly boring, but I understand how they're trying to give out a general education as a prep for college so you can begin to decide what major you might want to pursue.

oh ye, also learning french. no point to not know other languages. I'll probably try to learn Spanish as well, I have a basic understanding of it after 3 years of high school classes.

[Ntando1996]

incoming massive blogwall of text to procrastinate from continuing to study for this 8am anatomy & physiology exam I already know 99% of. I think a number of you can relate to this, especially those thinking about doing phs/roids/whatever people do nowadays. I imagine you guys are going to ask for cliffs so I'll add a summary at the bottom.



Stop trying to define yourselves by weightlifting you cheeky kunts.

I did it during high school to cover up my insecurities, which isn't necessarily a bad thing---I think pride is a better word, it doesn't have the same negative connotation---and while I did get some out of it, it ****ed up my growth as a person. Yes, I got laid, was decently well-known, I suppose I had a decent amount of respect, and people didn't mess with me. I suppose that's what most teens are looking for, especially you prideful little ****s like myself that think you can define your life by the amount of women you sleep with and the respect your peers give you. Still, going about it through by becoming obsessed with bodybuilding is not the way to go. Also tied to that mentality is the whole misc ideal of being an "alpha" or "beta", which has pretty much gone hand-in-hand with the teen misc since at least around 2008. While it's an attempt at developing your personality along with your physical appearance, it's based on a bunch of macho "meathead" bull**** of being some intimidating leader of men at 17.

Before I got into weightlifting I was into all kinds of ****. My Christmas and birthday gifts would just be boxes of novels my parents would pick up. By the time I was 15 I had probably read around three hundred books or so. Got into weightlifting, sort of fell to the wayside. Why waste my time with some biography or popular science book when I can read about the best tempo for your bench press negative? I've recently started up again but damn, there was a fairly large gap there that I spent obsessing over what may make my ****ty biceps grow an extra .05 of an inch instead of educating myself and enjoying a good read.

I also used to write, a lot. Poetry, short stories, novels. Won a bunch of awards, some state, one national (I don't know how many people I went against but my category had 15,000 from my state at least). They didn't particularly bring me happiness even though my English teacher was ecstatic over me. I wish now I had pursued that path in my life instead of weightlifting.

I also wonder if it would make any difference. I don't think anything I've ever done has actually made me 'happy'. More just satisfied with a success. Losing my virginity, first girlfriend, 5 plate deadlift, hitting 170, then 180, then 190, etc., never really made me feel whatever positive little physiological rush I think of when I hear the term 'happiness'. Just the desire to get the next girl, the next goal, whatever. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Nowadays when I look back I don't even feel pride or success over my achievements. They were just events.

I guess one of the things that made me obsess about bodybuilding is the whole 'RPG aspect' of leveling up, the little bits of instant gratification from a PR or a compliment. On a related note, the compliments never really made me happy either. Never really made me feel anything. I honestly don't understand what people are talking about when they talk about when they say they feel happiness, or feeling attractive, or whatever (no sociopath?). I'm about as emotional as a rock. Compliments never made me feel good, but when I didn't get my daily ego boost I did feel like I was doing something wrong. Even nowadays when I have a dry spell with women I feel that little nibbling feeling of inadequacy, but when I get attention from them it's just sort of a conscious acknowledgement of a compliment.

I stopped writing when I was around 16, less than a year after I got into bodybuilding, and haven't written more than a couple paragraphs and basic novel outlines since. I became defined by my weightlifting. When I first joined these forums I was an attention-hungry little ****, probably because I received little in real life. I moved high schools five times before settling down junior year. Bodybuilding was my coping mechanism for being the new kid and having no one. When I was average and babbled about going to the gym all the time, people looked at me like I was stupid, but I was oblivious.

People later told me about how I would talk all the time about how swole I was becoming, how I was going to lift later, etc. but I didn't really realize at the time how annoying I was being. I had gone through the exhilarating rush of all these little instant gratifications---140, 150, 160. 1 plate squat, 2 plate squat. I started off February 4, 2008, having no one, weighing about 135, squatting 85 pounds, benching the bar, deadlifting 95 pounds. I read up on bodybuilding and while everyone else benched and curled, I tried to set a 5 pound PR from my last pathetic week. My prime was around 17-18, weighing 190 at around 11-12% (on a very slender ectomorph frame), 405 x 3 squat, 500 deadlift, 295 bench.

People would scoff at me talking about the gym and I thought, these people just don't understand my obsession and dedication. I still do feel that most people can't understand the mindset of a dedicated athlete because few pursuits require that kind of commitment and mental fortitude. I still lift and love it, 4 years and 10 months later, on a regular basis, though the fervor has sort of died down (likely tied to being a poor college student that can't afford much more than chicken and milk).

Anyway, since people didn't externally see my internal obsession, I got even more into it. I don't think I consciously wanted to use any sort of prohormone or steroid but I knew other teen miscers that ordered them, had second thoughts, and gave them to me for free. From what I can remember, I've gotten two bottles of mdrol, one of hdrol, three vials of test, liver support, cycle support, ~4 bottles of nolva for free, from a bunch of different people. If they wanted to be pussies and not do them, fine, I really didn't give a **** and was dedicated to the cause of being swole and macho. Haven't grown since then really, stuck at around 5'10, makes me wonder if I'd be taller or if it's had any effect on my hormones nowadays.

Lo and behold, I got what I wanted. My babbling about the gym finally became legitimate, since I was big, lean, and cheeky. I became part of the whole meathead clique at the school---all the jocks, normal athletes, people who just lifted for fun. Weightlifting is one of the best ways to meet friends IMO, there's always a sort of unspoken bond of attempted self-improvement that bridges people on a personal level. Anyway, I went from being the slightly eccentric, trollish, attention-seeking kid to a swole, inspirational god-figure reigning supreme.

Though it didn't bother me at the time, everything about me was defined by weightlifting. EVERY person I met's first sentence was some comment about my size. All rumors about me were related to hormones (which I initially freely admitted to, later one of my younger female cousins that lived 30 minutes away with no mutual friends told me she had heard I use steroids and I hushed up after that eye-opener), my weightlifting, some troll musclehead thing I had done, whatever. Really that's the dream, isn't it? Being the gym monster that people ask advice from, girls eye****, no guy will ever talk **** to my face, other kids stare at while he lifts at the school gym.

Here's the summary of my findings, still long: But in retrospect, it's all...nothing. You're just a meathead really. You're kind of a zoo exhibit. My entire social life was based around my appearance. Perfectly fine for high school, but I ended up moving 10 hours away from that high school. I based my entire life on bodybuilding, being a fountain of weightlifting knowledge. Teens/teen miscers to this day ask me "should I use a ph/roids" and I know, even if people say "it's for my own personal gain", it's to fill that empty little hole inside.

Up until I was 18 I would say, yes, of course it's worth it, those are some of the best times of your life. But then I reached college, where I knew nothing and no one, and really had nothing but my appearance. I was the same as that 15-year-old new kid, except this time with bigger muscles. I've always been a bit of a loner and introspective, I can't party more than two nights in a row without completely burning out and needing to relax in my room for a week. While I can talk for hours with friends, I never bothered to develop any social skills for meeting strangers; I jumped from a relative unknown to popular in no time based solely on the physical. The parties I went to, I knew most people and everyone knew me.

So here I am in college, learning what I should have learned in high school---probably more like middle school or before, but I moved around so much and had no consistency in my life. I know people, have my groups, I try to be somewhat outgoing, but if I don't consciously think about it I'll completely blow off some girl trying to strike up a convo without a second glance, or some guy will try to be friendly and I never take the next step to invite him to hang out (I guess we'd probably go lift, since that's what I know).

I'm still a good bit above average physique and strength-wise, though I'm only around 170 7-8% now and I dwindle daily because of lack of food and all the focus I put into studying.

Summary of summary: But in college, you learn there is always some bigger and badder mother****er out there. No one brings up my size on our first meeting anymore, when you have seniors at 6'6 270 pounds stomping around campus. Who knows if I would have grown a couple inches more or been a bit more outgoing if I hadn't ****ed with my hormones at 17. I would not do hormones again in retrospect. Getting one year of gains in a couple months seems amazing at the time, then you stay there for the next 10 months; when that year's past you're still at the same spot natty or not. Bam, bam, bam, all that instant gratification as you wake up the next morning and see you've gained an entire pound. I love myself, I enjoy spending time alone when I do, but weightlifting and striving to be "alpha" was a crutch that stunted my growth.

There are a lot of things you can define yourself by in high school. Don't make it solely about weightlifting, or try to patch up your inadequacies with the gym. Don't focus on being "alpha"---omg does this text seem beta, omg I broke eye contact with this cute girl in the hallway first, my ex-friend made a joke about me should I be alpha and beat his ass? No one but you gives a ****. 99% of these situations are forgotten an hour later while you make threads obsessing about this ****. Focus on just developing yourself a person and finding your place in the world.

I still look at myself all the time in the mirror and flex. When I'm having a great physique day, I feel...nothing. When I look like **** or have a bad lift, I feel like I've failed myself. I wish I could rely on my looks still but in the end, life can be rough.

cliffs:


- tried to get attention and respect through weightlifting.
- went to hormones, turned my obsession into reality.
- got a lot of good benefits but became defined by my appearance, never really earned my place socially
- came into college stunted as a person, find it hard to form relationships with anyone
- try instead to fully realize yourself as a person, don't base your life on trying to be "swole" or "alpha"

anyway ye, back to studying.

Lmfao, I copied and pasted on FB



Good read repped

[Ntando1996]

Long time dude!


Just read cliffs and totally agree, I think lately, too much of me has focused around weightlifting lately, though not sorely the persuit of "aesthetics", never trained for size or anything. I am simply fascinated by the human body. So much so that I am changing my career from finance to physiotherapy.

Wat about kinesiology it's pretty good too to at certain extent

[WinterWoIf]

I haven't seen you post in forever
and the first thing you do when you get back
is tear open a void in what I thought was my world and leave me with nothing
**** you op, just **** you


Good to see you back and good read.

Hey brah

sup brahs?

[DDon1996]

O u still mud bout high squat.

[WinterWoIf]

O u still mud bout high squat.

Go deadlift 565 pounds you little ****.

[nicholkid]

Well, I hope I have a good enough head on my shoulders already so that lifting just propels my success rather than halt it.

Good thread.

[coolfreitas]

Good to see you enjoying yourself WW.. It's been a minute!

I don't frequent this forum anymore but I'm glad I saw your post. Will read thoroughly after I write my paper -> strong coincidence .

[DDon1996]

Go deadlift 565 pounds you little ****.

Love u muley

[coolfreitas]

love u muley

hiii qt <3

[-=Zeus=-!]

OP isnt a *******. Good luck on your exams.

[coolfreitas]

^ your rep blew the f up since last time I posted haha

[grux12]

well that flew right over my head

And it made a slight whistling noise while doing so.