GTFIH for a cool story bro

[Tw1tcHy]

Well, haven't made a thread on here in a long time and might as well post one up of one of my recent, albeit retarded exploits, and what better way than to post a story of Tw1tcHy making himself look retarded! YAYYY WHOOO!!!

Anyways, here's the deal, since a lot of you *******s have completely forgotten or never learned how to properly make a thread involving a girl that has actual fuking pictures, not ones that are blacked out, or the head is cut off, or worst of all, no fuking pictures period. Moving on...

So a little backstory. Ever since I first moved to Texas I had always had a neighbor girl about my age whom I knew kinda sorta well but never explored further. This was due largely in part to the fact that she had a boyfriend. Well they had a fun run for awhile I suppose, and back in about May-ish they split and it was for good. Now here's where ole Tw1tcH casually swoops in (although admittedly it was partially due to the fact that my boss told me to stop being a ******* working on cars all the damn time and go slay some bitches). We start talking more often when we'd see each other out and around (dat small town) and we started having a thing going for a bit, but we had extremely conflicting schedules so we hardly ever had the chance to fuk. So, fast forward a bit and I still had not fuked this girl, but it did not bother me because I did not see her terribly often and she was not my girlfriend. To be honest, I really tried to like this girl and want more out of it but I couldn't seem to form a serious attachment.

Well, the opportunity finally arose one night and she called me at 11 PM after she got off of work asking if I wanted to hang out. I had just been about to turn in for the night but decided to see what would happen. She suggested coming over to my place and I whole heartedly agreed.

Now here's where shit starts to get real.

It went faster than I expected. She came over, I snuck her inside and we began talking while laying on my bed. We began kissing, nothing new to us really at that point. She received a text message from a guy friend asking her to come hang out and I asked if I was cock blocking her to gauge my next movements off of her response. She told me he was actually cock blocking her, to which I knew I had it wrapped up and ready to go.

We went back to making out and she climbed on top of me. I removed her shirt and her bra, no real problems there. Smooth and in rhythm. Nice. Then it came to that belt. That god damn belt. I don't know what kind of work issued belt that way, but that shit was NOT a normal fucking belt I swear to god. The complete darkness did not help me either. She kind of laughed and told me I was killing the mood, and I could tell it was mostly a joke. I asked if I could get a free pass this time and she undid it. Went back to making out and I took off her shorts and whatnot and then saved her the time and trouble by quickly removing mine. We laid there for a minute making out naked, her still on top and then she dropped a bomb on me.

"Ummm... Do you have any... protection? "

OH SHIT GOD DAMN IT MOTHER FUCKER FFFFUUUUUU. This was a Thursday night and the Sunday prior I had been cleaning out my car and opened my glove box and saw a bunch of condoms in there that I had had for a VERY long time and was like "Alright, why lie to yourself bro. You're not going to use there damn things" and threw them out. At this point:

"Uh oh.... uhh, mind if I run to the store real quick? There and back, 5 minutes TOPS."
" I can't do that. That will kill the mood...."
"I don't care if I have to break the glass door in and leave money behind to pay for damages and condoms. I'm talking that fast!"
"I just... I just can't, I can't get back in the mood that easily...."
"No, I'm serious, I will literally take my car to the store so fast I can promise I will pop the front wheels, you sure?"
"Nooo... I'm sorry. Do you want me leave?"
"*sigh* No... We're both here and naked, might as well make the best of it I suppose"

Insta boner killer.

And then I remembered. A friend's dad had told me a couple of years ago about something he learned when he became a massage therapist that on a lot of girls there is a spot on their lower backs that if you rub it, they get INSTA turned on for all intents and purposes. Well, I had always wanted to put that to the test and decided to throw a Hail Mary and see what happened.

We go back to making out and I slip my hand back there and begin rubbing around slowly, testing the waters, seeing what's up. She says:

"You're making this really hard to say no now...."

HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY WORKING NO FREAKIN WAY! I start rubbing more, like rubbing sticks trying to start a fucking fire.

"I kinda just want to say 'screw it' and do it anyways?"
"Just for a minute? "
"Or 10? "

So I jam my mini Tw1tcH up in there and she starts riding. I was enjoying the physical pleasure of it, but even that was not nearly as good as it should have been. My mood had been killed as well with the BS that had been pulled earlier. The cock tease ya know? So, I can tell that I'm not having as much fun as I should be considering I'm rawdogging a female which was fucking bullshit to me, so I decide to fuck with her head a bit. Bear in mind, this is all in the middle of her on top riding and me basically twiddling my thumbs.

"So... did I ever tell you how to pick up a transmission?"
"Oh, are you talking mechanics talk to me now? That's kinda sexy"
"Yeee.... You see, first, you have one guy grab the ASS of the trans, then you have the other guy grab the SHAFT..."
"Ohhh yeahhh..." (She thought I was going to say something sexy next)
"AND THEN YOU CARRY IT OVER TO THE DYNO, BOLT UP THE BELL HOUSING, BOLT IN YOUR DRIVE SHAFT, CONNECT YOUR COOLER LINES, CONNECT YOUR SENSORS, ENSURE PROPER CONVERTER SPACING, BOLT THE CONVERTER TO THE FLEX PLATE AND THEN..."

It was obvious she was majorly thrown off, so I continue with it.

"... You stick in the fluid feeder tube into it and wait to fire the dyno up and check your main line pressure "

She kinda laughs, thinking I was probably done. We go back to the sex for about a minute and I start back up again.

"YES! I finally got to fourth base!"
"Look at that, you hit a home run!
"More like a foul ball, trolololol" (But instead of trololol I laughed just like Peter Griffin)

For some reason, she kind of laughed it off AGAIN and kept going. So we go back to it and I stfu for a couple of minutes. For this next part, you need to imagine the voice of Mort from Family Guy (The Jewish dude). I do a pretty damn decent impression of him, so imagine this next part in his voice.

"Oh gawsh, I'm so noivous right now. My mom always told me to stay away from girls cuz they're the devil, and look what I'm doing in the house she used to live in, oh gawsh."

She kind of chuckled and then said "Did you just bring your mom up? Ok I'm leaving" and I that point I thought it was over since she seemed like she was about to leave. I throw one last one in there

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa bitch, let's not turn this rape into a murder" (Thank you TMisc for that one). I thought for sure that would be the end of it. She actually started cracking up laughing! Right?? I was surprised as well. She stayed and I decide to push it a bit further after a few more minutes.

"OH GOD YOU'RE THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD!! PROMISE ME YOU WON'T FORGET MY NAME IN THE MORNING, SUSAN?" (That's not her name) Then she just fucking goes along with it! "I won't Joseph!" (That's not my name)

I decide to just get blatantly retarded with it and go all out. We switched positions and I was on top. I began whispering in her ear "Ok, what's the speed I'm gonna move at now? In and out slow?? Or fast? Going fast... OH, change up! Now slow..."

That finally forced her to say that we should probably stop to which I agreed. Karma is a bitch however and I began experiencing the most painful blue balls life has to offer. She asked why I was waddling to the door after we got dressed and I told her it felt like god had tied a cinder block to my left nut. She proceeded to walk home and as soon as she went inside I jumped in my car after realizing I hadn't eaten a single thing all day and went to Taco Bell and told the cashier girl all about it after she asked what had I been up to that night

Pretty cool story, amirite bro(s)?

For the record, she ended up moving to Virginia shortly after, and we never fuked again. And I live happily ever after. The end.

Only pic I can find right now

[KCBadBoy]

tl;dr

[bogui94]

[Tw1tcHy]

tl;dr

You know you're fapping to that sh!t *******

Fair enough

[KCBadBoy]

You know you're fapping to that sh!t *******

after posting, I did end up reading it

was good

[SBLovelace]

tl;dr
Saw pic
Brb reading

[Tw1tcHy]

after posting, I did end up reading it

was good

Good god you are a fast reader lol. You knew damn well when you saw who created the thread what you were clicking in to though

And thank you Kills me to a point to say it's a 100% true story, but it makes a great story to tell in person. I have brought many people to tears with laughter with it. Not something I will probably share with any future girls however.

tl;dr
Saw pic
Brb reading

Can't say I blame ya, sh.its long as hell

[Tw1tcHy]

Damn, I should have made this as the picture in the original post lol

[g35sedan]

If you didn't want to see her again why didn't you just make it rain all over her face? Get that ish in their eye they seem to not talk to you for a while after that.

[SBLovelace]

10/10 story. A good read before work. I got a smile at the transmission part. Busted out laughing soon after

[Enficy]

Virginia? I may be getting sloppy seconds OP.

[Tw1tcHy]

If you didn't want to see her again why didn't you just make it rain all over her face? Get that ish in their eye they seem to not talk to you for a while after that.

I did not finish, hence the blue balls (well ball) Unfortunately for me, and I'm not even trying to sound cocky I swear, I have stamina that would make some porn stars jealous, which is great and all for her, but not so much for me. Srs. There have been more times than not where the girl is finished before I am (though don't interpret that to sound like I'm saying I'm a sex god and slay bitches left and right)

10/10 story. A good read before work. I got a smile at the transmission part. Busted out laughing soon after

Thank you sir! I'm out of reps, but remind me later!

Virginia? I may be getting sloppy seconds OP.

Last I heard she's in Virginia Beach, you around there?

[nakaface]

talk dat mechanics talk to me plz.

[Incompliance]

this is what tmisc should always be like

poverty rapes for A-class thread content

edit: raised op 1 rep power, feelsgoodman

[Enficy]

I did not finish, hence the blue balls (well ball) Unfortunately for me, and I'm not even trying to sound cocky I swear, I have stamina that would make some porn stars jealous, which is great and all for her, but not so much for me. Srs. There have been more times than not where the girl is finished before I am (though don't interpret that to sound like I'm saying I'm a sex god and slay bitches left and right)



Thank you sir! I'm out of reps, but remind me later!



Last I heard she's in Virginia Beach, you around there?

About a hour from there, Richmond.

[Tw1tcHy]

talk dat mechanics talk to me plz.

Ima stick my wrench in yo socket

this is what tmisc should always be like

poverty rapes for A-class thread content

edit: raised op 1 rep power, feelsgoodman

Thank you sir. It seems activity has been picking up in here, or maybe I've been away too long

Oh hai tw1tch. '09 brah checking in. Surely you remember me. (check cp)

Hell yeah man, what's up? How's the rap career been? You talk to Soge at all lately or seen him around? He still lurk here? I saw him recently on another forum and meant to send him a message but didn't get around to it

About a hour from there, Richmond.

I would have no idea where in VB she is now, BUT if you happen to see a girl who looks like the one in the picture, it may be her. Ask her if she's ever had a discussion about transmissions during coitus and go from there. Tell her you want to torque her wrench

[Incompliance]

Hell yeah man, what's up? How's the rap career been? You talk to Soge at all lately or seen him around? He still lurk here? I saw him recently on another forum and meant to send him a message but didn't get around to it

latest activity from soge:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...#post977239283

[GymShowerNap]

why didnt you troll her after you busted a nut lol

[Gymrat2000]

That's a cool story bro. 4.5 star thread gjdm

[Tw1tcHy]

latest activity from soge:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...#post977239283

That's fuking awesome dude seriously hahahaha. I love that little negro, despite what the fuk people said about him, he brought the lolz. Those TMisc memes had me rolling. So is he actually Martynator or what? He's not a fuking idiot like a lot of people think he is, so I know he could pull off a pretty good troll like that if so.

Vid had me rolling as well, especially him saying "I'm so gonna fap to this when I get home" trolololol

[Natstokes14]

Lold hard at the in depth mechanical explanation. I miss tmisc threads like this

[Incompliance]

That's fuking awesome dude seriously hahahaha. I love that little negro, despite what the fuk people said about him, he brought the lolz. Those TMisc memes had me rolling. So is he actually Martynator or what? He's not a fuking idiot like a lot of people think he is, so I know he could pull off a pretty good troll like that if so.

Vid had me rolling as well, especially him saying "I'm so gonna fap to this when I get home" trolololol

nah, marty gave him his pass so he could post the vid

and I agree, he's smarter than he acts, and is in fact funny sometimes

[AdCon]

Good read.

Good job OP.

[BradCathie]

Reps.

[straightsixm3]

Thank GOD you said you posted a pic. It let me read the OP in peace without wondering if a picture was going to be waiting for me. Good ****, man. She's cute. Kind of sketchy not buying plan b, though.

[Mr.Lmnop]

Love you Twitchy.

Is your mom still on these forums? Lawl.

[Tw1tcHy]

Lold hard at the in depth mechanical explanation. I miss tmisc threads like this

Hahahaha thanks. The guys I work with got a huge ****ing kick out of it the day after when I told them. Two of them fell to their knees out of breathe from laughing at me lol.

nah, marty gave him his pass so he could post the vid

and I agree, he's smarter than he acts, and is in fact funny sometimes

Intredasting. He needs to get back on here again.

Good read.

Good job OP.

Thank you sir

Reps.

Will return on RC!

Thank GOD you said you posted a pic. It let me read the OP in peace without wondering if a picture was going to be waiting for me. Good ****, man. She's cute. Kind of sketchy not buying plan b, though.

Hahaha well I'm pretty notorious in this section for walls of text so I knew I should make it clear from the get go unless I wanted to turn away readers.

It would definitely be a bigger concern if I had jizzed inside of her (or even at all) but at this point she's in Virginia, and if she ever tried to come back to my house to find me to notify me that she's pregnant, I wouldn't be there heh heh

Love you Twitchy.

Is your mom still on these forums? Lawl.

Love you more QT

She may be around here somewhere, haven't seen her yet though. You do know that was a troll doe right?

[Mr.Lmnop]

Love you more QT

She may be around here somewhere, haven't seen her yet though. You do know that was a troll doe right?

Yeah i remember the thread last year or so. Was funny while it lasted though.

[Tw1tcHy]

Yeah i remember the thread last year or so. Was funny while it lasted though.

Good times



The fact that sogeking fell for that sh!t so fuking hard and I had him believing it was even better, since he used to call himself "Teh Troll King" and I basically stole his title by trolling him lol

[Pandaepic]

Worth the read! Raped