Is he supportive or jealous? Have you been able to convince him to do it with you? If so how did you go about it? I want to buy some equipment for the house and my husband said fine but I want him to get in on it too.... like on an actual program instead of eating like crap and doing a few curls during commercial on the wknd. I am trying to work hard and look good and I want him to accompany me in doing so. He comes from an obese family where as my family is pretty fit. Thanks for any tips on this.
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10-25-2012, 07:02 AM #1
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Anyone Have a Spouse or SO Who Does Not Work Out?
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10-25-2012, 07:25 AM #2
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Mine does not work out at all. He busts his ass at work everyday so he is in good shape anyways. He doesn't mind me working out and staying in shape but he has no desire to join me. Good luck getting hubby to work out with you. Would be great to have a permanent workout partner.
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10-25-2012, 07:35 AM #3
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10-25-2012, 07:47 AM #4
My ex was not into working out and didn't like it when I went and worked out. I tried to get her into it and it failed, until one day she got so fed up with being "fat" (her words not mine) she urged me to buy insanity and do it with her. Lasted one and a half weeks before she fell off again.
I bolded your show him up part because I am unsure how your relationship is. If you are shoving it in his face saying you are stronger than him, may just piss him off and discourage further or if he is competitive it will light the fire under his arse. Bottom line, people won't do something unless they want to, that is the tricky part getting them to WANT to work out. I think you should find a way that motivates your husband since you know him best . It be competition or maybe a treat ."We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." -Will Durant
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10-25-2012, 07:54 AM #5
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When I first started my husband didn't work out at all. I really wanted him to join me and pretty much nagged him until he agreed to a week trial membership at the gym. You can probably guess what happened. He hated it and didn't join. I realized it had to be his choice so I just stopped even talking about it and focused on my own fitness.
One year later, I was seeing amazing results. He approaches me and tells me he wants to try it again. I set him up again with a membership and get him a training package. One year later he's still at it and seeing great results. He says he'll never love it like me but he loves the results. He feels better than he has in years.
Moral of the story: people change when they are ready. All you can really do is model success and be there to assist when they ask for it.
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10-25-2012, 08:51 AM #6
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Thank you all, I hardly ever bring it up, I don't want to be a nag and cause him to not try out of spite. I think he would do it if we had the stuff at home, but the times I did see him doing push ups etc.. he jumped up and acted embarassed that I saw. I told him it's a turn on and not to be embarassed but I still think he is embarassed to work out in front of me.
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10-25-2012, 09:23 AM #7
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Mine has given many half-assed attempts, despite my encouragement. I have done everything from: writing diet plans, writing exercise routines, poked fun, given support....doesnt matter, nothing works. She will never keep at it for more than a month so I gave up. She has nowhere near the willpower I do, she wont work out alone and refuses to eat anything that doesnt "taste good". I told her I would eat dog sht if it was discovered to benefit me bodybuilding (srs), and "taste" eaters are never in good shape.
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10-25-2012, 09:26 AM #8
My girl and I have discussed working out together, at this point, we feel like it would just be awkward..maybe down the road we will
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10-25-2012, 09:33 AM #9
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10-25-2012, 09:47 AM #10
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10-25-2012, 10:29 AM #11
Hubby works in construction for over 10 hours a day so getting him to do anything other than sit on the couch when he gets home is an act of god lol. I don't blame him though, what he does is very physical. We have worked out together but he always wanted to stay in the machine section and when I bought stuff for a home gym he did like a month of SS and quit. I figure he will do it when he's ready and not working so much.
If this were easy, everyone would walk around ripped.
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10-25-2012, 11:29 AM #12
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10-25-2012, 11:35 AM #13
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10-25-2012, 01:50 PM #14
My husband doesn't workout. It's never been an issue until recently. I am very commited, a 6 day a week kind off girl. I think he gets jealous of the ammount of time and how it's such a huge priority to me to get my workout in. It has been a sore spot for him. I also really want to compete and he is 100% against it. It really, really sucks. I don't really know what to do about it.
Most guys would be happy their wife works out, right? *sigh*
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10-25-2012, 02:40 PM #15
My other half is supportive some days, and seems a little jealous other days. My routine really doesn't cut into our time together. Maybe an hour, if he's home early from work. I go after my shift ends :-) So I think there's some jealousy that I'm spending time away from him some days, even though he works 12 hour shifts and some weeks I don't see him for days (just with the rotation of our jobs).
I find that it's my eating habits that drive him crazy sometimes. I'm the cook in the house, so I'll naturally make stuff for me. If I know he doesn't like what I'm making, I'll resort to cooking something he prefers alongside what I'm making. But the other night, I was doing up my salads (mostly a veggie mix) and he came over, and said: "I really, really would never eat that. Ever."
Kind of hurtful, but meh. So he's supportive some days, and not other days. His co-worker is also a personal trainer and has mentioned doing free sessions with him, because they are both in the same range and same body type. I never pushed him to go, but I told him it might be good to spend some bro-time with his buddy. Thusfar, nothing has come of it. So we'll see. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Either way, both sides of my life are pretty seperate. It works out :-)
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10-26-2012, 12:16 AM #16
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Why is he against you competing? If it's something you REALLY want to do, you should do it. Is it a jealousy issue? And yes, I would be very happy to have a gf / wife who worked out even if it's not as often as me. My ex didn't really work out but she had dem black genetics so she looked fit regardless, still wish she would have worked out. (wheres Mona )
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10-26-2012, 12:34 AM #17
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10-26-2012, 12:37 AM #18
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NPC Amateur.
Central Texas Showdown 2012: No placing
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Mind + Body + Nature + Universe
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Think abstract, ask questions.
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10-26-2012, 01:14 AM #19
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The solution to getting a significant other to work out, is to not try and get your significant other to work out. Some people are just not interested.
As far as competing, I can understand why a man doesn't want his woman parading around on stage in a bikini. Some people consider certain things sacred or special, one of which is seeing your SO naked (or near naked). He could be insecure because of something in the past you did (cheat, excessive flirting, whatever the case may be).
I think sometimes looking back, you may realize that there is a good chance that your interest in fitness is starting to take away from personal time, and you are probably not as attentive as you were once before. I would rather have a woman that is attentive over a hard body who focus has shifted away from the relationship.
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10-26-2012, 03:18 AM #20
I don't mind if he doesn't work out. That's not the issue. I just wish he would support me in my dreams. I really want to compete. I love working out. To me, bodybuilding is a sport. A sport I happen to be pretty darn good at. (I think) he doesn't see it as a sport. He sees it as being vain. So what if I take an hour every day to work out. I really am not seeing anything wrong with this, he does. I don't get it. I'm wondering is this is mostley a female issue, or do males who workout often have issues with their wives, GF about this too?
As far as the parading around on stage in a bikini, he doesn't like that too much either.
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10-26-2012, 03:29 AM #21
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My ex was pretty jealous. I broke up with her before I actually competed but she would often ask if there were any cute girls at the gym or if I talked to any of them (of course to which I didn't). That was pretty much a daily thing. I knew that in the line of work I want to persue that there would be a lot of good looking females and I knew she was just going to cause issues, I had to nip it in the bud.
NPC Amateur.
Central Texas Showdown 2012: No placing
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Mind + Body + Nature + Universe
"Life doesn't exist anywhere but Earth? That's like taking a cup of ocean water and saying there aren't any whales in the ocean." - Neil deGrasse Tyson
Think abstract, ask questions.
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10-26-2012, 06:07 AM #22
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10-26-2012, 08:34 AM #23
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Can you talk to my wife?
I would love it if she would get interested in training--even moderately. She's given it a shot a couple times, but only for vacations to Hawaii that we've taken (when she had some extra motivation of us going with close friends whose wives are pretty athletic). And she got in really good shape for one of those trips. But beyond those 2 times, she doesn't have much interest in working out. Sucks because I upgraded our gym membership a couple years ago so we could use the newer/bigger clubs that 24 Hr Fitness built close to our house. She has basically never gone--but gets mad when I say that I should just cancel her membership if she's not going to use it. Maybe someday she'll catch the bug.
I train at 5am so my training doesn't cut into family time at all. But if my wife got interested in training I wouldn't have any complaints about her time doing it. I suppose everyone has their hang-ups though. Tough to get around those.*MFC Elder Statesmen Cabinet Crew*
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10-26-2012, 11:51 AM #24
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I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong. I have no stake in the matter. I'm just trying to give you insight. Jealousy may not be his motivation. It he views what you do as vain, he may see the competition as little more than upscale soft core porn. The bikini sector has received a lot of criticism, even from within the bodybuilding sport for being nothing more than a beauty pageant.
I think it's great, but I think it has little to do with bodybuilding. Many view bikini as a T n A show, and so may your husband. This may be something that you may just have to do without his approval. He may come around and enjoy it.
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10-26-2012, 04:21 PM #25
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10-26-2012, 04:39 PM #26
Well some men dont want their wife going out there and showing pretty much their whole body, some men dont care, personally I wouldnt care, if people are admiring my womans hard work and her body I have no problems with it. I think your husbands problem is that he is not in to the whole fitness scene, maybe educate him if you can on what you want, what your plan is, and why you are doing it, not for men to oogle at you, but youre doing it for yourself.
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10-26-2012, 04:49 PM #27
I wouldn't want my life partner up on stage basically naked in front other men frothing at the mouth and possibly having them take photos (mentally or with a camera) for future fap material! No matter how educated he gets, there is always going to be some sort of jealousy that guys are scaring at you probably degrading you with their own thoughts..
just my 2 cents*used to lift crew*
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10-26-2012, 04:52 PM #28
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10-26-2012, 04:54 PM #29
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10-26-2012, 05:05 PM #30
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