Sexual performance anxiety is making me go crazy (srs)

[Delusional]

No fap, fap, no porn, porn, hasn't made a difference, I used to have erections when I fapped on the reg with porn in fact...

I'm 17 and for the past 2-3 months I haven't been able to get an erection with 3 different girls (several several times it happened with one of them, until a day she told me she had her period and I was hard as **** that day). Today was the last straw, we weren't going to **** but I didn't get aroused as much as I should have, just got a semi with one of the girls I'm seeing while we were in the shower (friends were outside). I went out and bought Viagra, which I'll use next time.

My libido feels low (yet I still want to fap everyday usually), but masturbating my erections are good most of the time. I've had sex successfully before it just started with this one girl idk why... and it continued with the others.

I'm going to go to a psychologist, but what should I do for my libido/erections? and how much viagra should I take? 12.5mg?

[StiffyB]

- acquire gf
- be in safe environment
- phuck gf
- because of settled environment and trust you can take your time
- after problem is corrected dump bish
- smash sloots

worked for me.

[Delusional]

- acquire gf
- be in safe environment
- phuck gf
- because of settled environment and trust you can take your time
- after problem is corrected dump bish
- smash sloots

worked for me.

The girl with which it happened today is the girl I want to be my gf, which is why it worried me even more (counter producing I know...)

[vikings_70]

The girl with which it happened today is the girl I want to be my gf, which is why it worried me even more (counter producing I know...)

It's tough, I have occasionally gotten 'performance anxiety' with new bishes. I am not a guy that will smash a girl on a first date, or try to take someone home from the bar and hook up. But even in the early part of dating someone, I still have trouble. You just have to get as comfortable as you can with them (both inside and outside the bedrooom), and just give it some time. Maybe gf her up first before you go trying to smash her.

I know some guys will say "you're 17, you shouldn't have a gf you should bang sloots", but there are some guys like us that prefer to bang gf's over sloots.

[poolshark472]

exact same thing happened to me when i was 17. sounds cliche but you really need just to not sweat it. when you hear the more you worry the worse the problem gets-its totally true. that was eight years ago and i've been batting a thousand with every single girl since, minus a few alcohol-induced blackouts where it just was not physically possible.

[Brofessional]

Could be a hormonal issue as well...even at a young age. Should have some blood work done and see what your test/estrogen levels are like along with prolactin, etc.

[TallLadybug]

When I was 18 and fresh out of high school, I had the same problem.

Currently, I have no more anxiety.

To get over this, this is what worked for me.

Meet women and hangout with them. You're just simply uncomfortable around women. It will take a few times where you'll meet a chick, take her out, go back to her place to phuc, and you'll have performance anxiety. If you can't perform, oh well. It will go away in times. The trick is to keep going on dates.

Eventually, when you've been on 10+ dates, you'll get a feeling of "Lol, every chick is the exact same broken recorder" and you will be able to smash on command. I'm serious. They all say the same chit just differently. "I want to be a dental hygienist" or "I'm in college, I have big dreams for the future." You just need to go out and test the waters. Even if you can't perform, still lay in bed with her and eat her out or makeout with her. You'll get over it in time. Don't let it bother you.

[Taikun]

You're thinking about it way too much. There's nothing wrong with being nervous, she probably is too... you'll get used to it and the anxiety goes away.

If a bit of performance anxiety is enough to drive the girl away, she probably wasn't worth keeping around in the first place.

[BurrowedLurker]

What day on no fap?

[Delusional]

It's tough, I have occasionally gotten 'performance anxiety' with new bishes. I am not a guy that will smash a girl on a first date, or try to take someone home from the bar and hook up. But even in the early part of dating someone, I still have trouble. You just have to get as comfortable as you can with them (both inside and outside the bedrooom), and just give it some time. Maybe gf her up first before you go trying to smash her.

I know some guys will say "you're 17, you shouldn't have a gf you should bang sloots", but there are some guys like us that prefer to bang gf's over sloots.

I don't mind being with one girl for a bit, I like this one and I still have the other girl I said I've had sexual performance anxiety with for a long ass time on the side. I'm going to also be with this girl for that reason, besides, dat ass.

exact same thing happened to me when i was 17. sounds cliche but you really need just to not sweat it. when you hear the more you worry the worse the problem gets-its totally true. that was eight years ago and i've been batting a thousand with every single girl since, minus a few alcohol-induced blackouts where it just was not physically possible.

thanks bro, makes me feel better. It's just that this isn't something you tell your friends lol.

Could be a hormonal issue as well...even at a young age. Should have some blood work done and see what your test/estrogen levels are like along with prolactin, etc.

Also thought of this, have an appointment with an endocrinologist set

When I was 18 and fresh out of high school, I had the same problem.

Currently, I have no more anxiety.

To get over this, this is what worked for me.

Meet women and hangout with them. You're just simply uncomfortable around women. It will take a few times where you'll meet a chick, take her out, go back to her place to phuc, and you'll have performance anxiety. If you can't perform, oh well. It will go away in times. The trick is to keep going on dates.

Eventually, when you've been on 10+ dates, you'll get a feeling of "Lol, every chick is the exact same broken recorder" and you will be able to smash on command. I'm serious. They all say the same chit just differently. "I want to be a dental hygienist" or "I'm in college, I have big dreams for the future." You just need to go out and test the waters. Even if you can't perform, still lay in bed with her and eat her out or makeout with her. You'll get over it in time. Don't let it bother you.

Yeah, this is what I'm doing currently, it's just funny that when you work so much on yourself, face rejection and **** just to become better with girls and be able to bang, this happens. I guess I still might be uncomfortable, it was only a year ago when I had my first kiss.

You're thinking about it way too much. There's nothing wrong with being nervous, she probably is too... you'll get used to it and the anxiety goes away.

If a bit of performance anxiety is enough to drive the girl away, she probably wasn't worth keeping around in the first place.

Yes I know, and this was my mindset, but it's been 3 months... I'm glad the girl it started with is still around and she's a cool friend and we'll meet up but it's basically me fingerbanging her lol.

What day on no fap?

I've lasted weeks, currently not on no fap.

[TheAdlerian]

No fap, fap, no porn, porn, hasn't made a difference, I used to have erections when I fapped on the reg with porn in fact...

I'm 17 and for the past 2-3 months I haven't been able to get an erection with 3 different girls (several several times it happened with one of them, until a day she told me she had her period and I was hard as **** that day). Today was the last straw, we weren't going to **** but I didn't get aroused as much as I should have, just got a semi with one of the girls I'm seeing while we were in the shower (friends were outside). I went out and bought Viagra, which I'll use next time.

My libido feels low (yet I still want to fap everyday usually), but masturbating my erections are good most of the time. I've had sex successfully before it just started with this one girl idk why... and it continued with the others.

I'm going to go to a psychologist, but what should I do for my libido/erections? and how much viagra should I take? 12.5mg?

Going to a psych will be tough because the standard therapy is for some a guy who has a sex partner. Basically, the idea is to reduce anxiety by teaching the person not to focus on the sex act, but rather to relax via touching, etc and eventually relaxing into sex. Meeting someone new is generally anxiety producing and a therapist is going to have a hard time giving you "homework" to do if you can't do it on a regular basis.

Behaviorism is my favorite therapy (what I said is version) and the deal is that if you're FORCED to have success, you cannot feel anxiety at the same time. So, either go to a doctor, obtain Yohimbe, or a professional erection drug, and use it. The drugs work and you will get an erection almost not matter what in a sexual situation.

If you do that, especially with a girlfriend, eventually you will forget your anxiety and be able to have sex normally.

Note: A good way to tell if you penis works correctly is if you get erections in your sleep and to porn. If that's not happening then you may have a physical problem, not a mental one.

[Delusional]

Going to a psych will be tough because the standard therapy is for some a guy who has a sex partner. Basically, the idea is to reduce anxiety by teaching the person not to focus on the sex act, but rather to relax via touching, etc and eventually relaxing into sex. Meeting someone new is generally anxiety producing and a therapist is going to have a hard time giving you "homework" to do if you can't do it on a regular basis.

Behaviorism is my favorite therapy (what I said is version) and the deal is that if you're FORCED to have success, you cannot feel anxiety at the same time. So, either go to a doctor, obtain Yohimbe, or a professional erection drug, and use it. The drugs work and you will get an erection almost not matter what in a sexual situation.

If you do that, especially with a girlfriend, eventually you will forget your anxiety and be able to have sex normally.

Note: A good way to tell if you penis works correctly is if you get erections in your sleep and to porn. If that's not happening then you may have a physical problem, not a mental one.

I set up an appointment with a psychologist who has published studies on addictions so I'm guessing she has worked with behaviorism (I don't want to wait a ****load with psychoanalysis). And yes, I'm going to try viagra a couple of times with this girl and "ween" off it (while I go to the psych), my problem is not a physical one and I'm sure of that.

[TheAdlerian]

I set up an appointment with a psychologist who has published studies on addictions so I'm guessing she has worked with behaviorism (I don't want to wait a ****load with psychoanalysis). And yes, I'm going to try viagra a couple of times with this girl and "ween" off it (while I go to the psych), my problem is not a physical one and I'm sure of that.

Remember, there's nothing weird about anxiety and sex. It's extremely common, especially among smart people who overthink things.

[AvDontCare]

Tooooooo young for Viagra, I wouldn't even dare to touch that stuff, seriously I think it's all mental

[TheAdlerian]

Tooooooo young for Viagra, I wouldn't even dare to touch that stuff, seriously I think it's all mental

You did not read or didn't understand my post.

[yokeybear]

You're thinking about it way too much. There's nothing wrong with being nervous, she probably is too... you'll get used to it and the anxiety goes away.

If a bit of performance anxiety is enough to drive the girl away, she probably wasn't worth keeping around in the first place.

i went through the same problem, and the girl straight up ejected out of the relationship, and over time I was thinking this, and everyone around me said the same. so think of it as this, ive read stories where some girls ARE down to help you out and be more sympathetic about it, others just go into total retard mode.

i havn't smashed a bish since then, kind of nervous, but i been on the no fap for a while, been taking ginseng and zinc. been gettin strong boners randomly through out day, so feel im ready to try again after this month of no fap and i got this girl i been talkin to... wish me luck brahs

pics of new girl:

[Arathor]

Answer: Lots of foreplay

I have the exact same problem as you when there isn't much foreplay involved.

[tinycat]

You shouldn't be having these problems at 17. You should definitely see a doctor before you take any medicine.

I wouldn't doubt that it's a psychological thing. You're only 17 years old, and that's a lot of pressure you're putting on yourself.

You don't want to screw your view of sex up for the rest of your life.

Maybe 3 girls is too many so soon. Try having 1 gf for now and working out your problems in the safety of that relationship.

Someone who cares will be more understanding of problems in bed than some random so you'll have less anxiety.

Good luck!

[corpsedub]

you feel rushed
you feel under pressure
you feel that you need to produce a product
you feel that you need to pleasure

these things all lead to SPA

as another poster said. foreplay.

take the time in a non rushed environment.
take the time to be sensual
take the time to not be put up to expectations

you can win over this. it does not have to be this way.
dont let the mind go into flight mode.

[Delusional]

Remember, there's nothing weird about anxiety and sex. It's extremely common, especially among smart people who overthink thinks.

Thanks man..

Tooooooo young for Viagra, I wouldn't even dare to touch that stuff, seriously I think it's all mental

Well until I find the cure mentally I will not continue feeling bad about sex.

You did not read or didn't understand my post.

He probably just read my post in which I mentioned it.

i went through the same problem, and the girl straight up ejected out of the relationship, and over time I was thinking this, and everyone around me said the same. so think of it as this, ive read stories where some girls ARE down to help you out and be more sympathetic about it, others just go into total retard mode.

i havn't smashed a bish since then, kind of nervous, but i been on the no fap for a while, been taking ginseng and zinc. been gettin strong boners randomly through out day, so feel im ready to try again after this month of no fap and i got this girl i been talkin to... wish me luck brahs

pics of new girl:

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/KKD1wl.jpg]

Luckily the girl it started with didn't eject from the relationship, she was quite comprehensive but even then. I really like this new girl and we're going to have sex on Friday and I will not let anything get in my way, thus taking viagra.

Answer: Lots of foreplay

I have the exact same problem as you when there isn't much foreplay involved.

When I get ED I usually just stay for 30-60 minutes in 'foreplay" fingering her/eating her out etc, nothing still.

You shouldn't be having these problems at 17. You should definitely see a doctor before you take any medicine.

I wouldn't doubt that it's a psychological thing. You're only 17 years old, and that's a lot of pressure you're putting on yourself.

You don't want to screw your view of sex up for the rest of your life.

Maybe 3 girls is too many so soon. Try having 1 gf for now and working out your problems in the safety of that relationship.

Someone who cares will be more understanding of problems in bed than some random so you'll have less anxiety.

Good luck!

Even if I see the doctor now she's not going to fix my problem inmediately, this has gone on long enough so I will go with the pharmaceutical approach and the therapeutic one. I'm probably asking the girl I'm with to be my girlfriend, but with this girl I know I'm going to bang her soon. I mean this monday she was like lets go to your house and I sort of avoided the subject because I know viagra takes 1 hour to peak, I felt pathetic not being able to bang her.

you feel rushed
you feel under pressure
you feel that you need to produce a product
you feel that you need to pleasure

these things all lead to SPA

as another poster said. foreplay.

take the time in a non rushed environment.
take the time to be sensual
take the time to not be put up to expectations

you can win over this. it does not have to be this way.
dont let the mind go into flight mode.

I know brah, I'm going to continue working on it through all means possible.

[TheAdlerian]

I'm confident you'll deal with it well Op.

Enjoy yourself.

[vikings_70]

Irony I would post in this thread, then smash a new girl last night.

First time I've been with someone since my ex, so it was definitely new for me. Took me a couple minutes to get up and running, but from there I was good.

I fingered her while she was giving me head, that did the trick.


Edit: also, I love eating out but it never gets me hard. It's like I'm too focused or something. I wouldn't use that as foreplay to get yourself going...

[Delusional]

Took ~12.5mg of Viagra... Hard as **** at the beginning, then nothing... I'm becoming desperate, I don't know what else to do. I also did feel her change a bit after what happened =\.

[NOLA27]

Took ~12.5mg of Viagra... Hard as **** at the beginning, then nothing... I'm becoming desperate, I don't know what else to do. I also did feel her change a bit after what happened =\.

I swear I have the same problem with my GF happened twice, our relationship is now different. IDK what to do, what do blame. If it happens a 3rd time I'm seeing a doctor.

[dillow]

****kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....its happening to me with new gf
lots of good advice in the thread....how can i get viagra w/o going to the doctor?

[WraithForIt]

post-traumatic stress? bullied?

[GenderOfPeace]

Stats: 5'9", 1 lbs

Sexual performance is the least of OP's worries.

[Arathor]

Best piece of advice right here:

STOP WATCHING PORN

Porn has a huge impact of desensitizing you. Stop watching it and you will get much more sexually aroused when you're in a sexual situation.

[jamesovercome]

You gotta clear the air before having sex, there are times when i'm not hard and I just look at the girl and say "Suck my dick and get it hard".
...the rest fixes itself.

[Igmann]

OP, pick one girl and stick with her until you're comfortable around her. If it's your first few times, you may need to give it a go a couple times with the same woman before you can get your dck up to women consistently. Keep up with no fap/no porn.