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  1. #61
    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    I don't live relationships in terms of power and dominance. I see them as mutual support.
    Also I can't fukking stand to be told what to do or ask permission for anything.
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  2. #62
    Registered User yogadancefit123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    oh hon..don't let this example make ya nervous..ok?
    if you find someone you want to share your life with then the two of you will set the game rules together
    With divorce rates at 50% would it even be any compliment to said relationship to marry? Wouldn't it be more meaningful to... I don't know... I guess not tie the knot. Because it would stand the test of time without consummation?

    And that way legal battles are avoided and no enulment is necessary, more incentive to grow as an individual and no lose oneself in the goals of the other. Idk just thoughts.
    You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
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  3. #63
    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yogadancefit123 View Post
    With divorce rates at 50% would it even be any compliment to said relationship to marry? Wouldn't it be more meaningful to... I don't know... I guess not tie the knot. Because it would stand the test of time without consummation?

    And that way legal battles are avoided and no enulment is necessary, more incentive to grow as an individual and no lose oneself in the goals of the other. Idk just thoughts.
    Nobody is forcing anyone to get married. Also when people grow up and start thinking of grown up things like buying a house or having kids, marriage can make some things easier.
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  4. #64
    Registered User toriidavis's Avatar
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    I've never done the D/S style of relationship but I went to San Diego Pride Festival this year and there was a booth called leather realm. They did whipping with the leather nine tail whips. I tried it out and it was more like a massage rather than a pain for pleasure style that would take time to acquire. They put me on this wooden X that was standing up on the ground, shackled me to it for the psychological and visual affects. The cold metal on the skin and the idea of being restrained takes your focused and off of what is coming. then the whipping occurs and its like a powerful shower beating on your back and the skin begins to warm while the shackles are still chilling your limbs. Its a pretty awesome experience after awhile because you become consumed in endorphins.
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  5. #65
    Registered User yogadancefit123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    Nobody is forcing anyone to get married. Also when people grow up and start thinking of grown up things like buying a house or having kids, marriage can make some things easier.
    Yeah but it's also a grown up thing to get divorced 50% of time and a lot of times maggiage doesn't make this easier.

    See where I'm goin here
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  6. #66
    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yogadancefit123 View Post
    Yeah but it's also a grown up thing to get divorced 50% of time and a lot of times maggiage doesn't make this easier.

    See where I'm goin here
    If you have property and children in common with legal bindings, splitting up isn't any easier than getting divorced.
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  7. #67
    S1NN3R G0N3 G00D NotBigEnough206's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    If you have property and children in common with legal bindings, splitting up isn't any easier than getting divorced.
    exaclty, its easy to throw in the towel
    marriage is the hardest job you will ever have period
    but when you have kids, property etc etc many things come in to account about divorce
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  8. #68
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    I've never done the D/S style of relationship but I went to San Diego Pride Festival this year and there was a booth called leather realm. They did whipping with the leather nine tail whips. I tried it out and it was more like a massage rather than a pain for pleasure style that would take time to acquire. They put me on this wooden X that was standing up on the ground, shackled me to it for the psychological and visual affects. The cold metal on the skin and the idea of being restrained takes your focused and off of what is coming. then the whipping occurs and its like a powerful shower beating on your back and the skin begins to warm while the shackles are still chilling your limbs. Its a pretty awesome experience after awhile because you become consumed in endorphins.
    ...I feel vaguely dirty reading this.
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  9. #69
    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NotBigEnough206 View Post
    exaclty, its easy to throw in the towel
    marriage is the hardest job you will ever have period
    but when you have kids, property etc etc many things come in to account about divorce
    I have been in both long term relationships and marriage and sure you can keep your accounts separate, you can split the rent, whatever. It's great when you are young and without much to think about. Later come things like car loans, mortgages, end of life decisions, life insurance, living will, etc etc etc. You can do single legal documents for each or you can sign one big legal document that encompasses all these, called "marriage". And if you have kids, it doesn't matter if you are married or not, you still need to figure out all the custody and visitation stuff regardless.
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  10. #70
    Registered User toriidavis's Avatar
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    I felt vaguely dirty writing it... I need a sandwich...
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  11. #71
    Team Ogre penny0527's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    If you have property and children in common with legal bindings, splitting up isn't any easier than getting divorced.
    Actually splitting without being married complicates things. In Texas if you do not marry and purchase a house together then split then you cannot split your belongings legally. For example if you and your boyfriend buy a house together and you leave your name is still on the mortgage. If he defaults on the mortgage it affects your credit as well. You are still legally responsible. The only way to remove yourself is if he refinances or sells the house. The courts cannot separate you legally if you were never legally married.
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  12. #72
    Banned pumplikecuming's Avatar
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    I am pretty laid back and easy going. But in the bedroom...


    ...shiit goes down my way
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  13. #73
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pumplikecuming View Post
    I am pretty laid back and easy going. But in the bedroom...


    ...shiit goes down my way
    Challenge accepted. Brb, fetching my leather gear.
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  14. #74
    Doesnt even lift BigD_SEVA's Avatar
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    Im a dude and didnt read thread after first post but being in one of these relationships is fantastic. I was in one last year and the connection developed through this practice was deep and almost on a spiritual level for me. I dont talk to all my other exes but her and I remain friends and have rendezvous with her still. It wasn't about the domination and submission but rather it was about allowing oneself to trust someone with their well being and safety. Our arrangement was me Dom her sub, stuff that required a safe word,ropes, and bruises. It actually wasn't the sex that got us off, I left her place many times without finishing and I was completely satisfied. (great because i always was able to lift more the next day) but to sum it up i think while everyone needs to experience it you should draw a line and dont be afraid to talk about limits before hand on a night you wont be participating in it. I have heard many stories of people taking it too far and scaring themselves to the point of being uncomfortable around their partner.

    TLDR: Try it but safewords and limits must be discussed and used.
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  15. #75
    The Italian Scallion BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    I felt vaguely dirty writing it... I need a sandwich...
    I felt vaguely turned on .. I need a cigarette and a sandwich
    who says love has to be soft and gentle ?
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  16. #76
    Banned pumplikecuming's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Artistry View Post
    Challenge accepted. Brb, fetching my leather gear.
    Gear is used by people who lack the imagination to keep it exciting between just a man...a women...and actions.

    I need no toys, in fact it is a turn off (unless they are non obtrusive like handcuffs or things that are edible).

    I tend to stimulate every portion of a women's sexual fantasies via taste, gentle ticklish strokes, biting, hair pulling, use of bodily fluids from varying sources...and there are hundreds of other things that I won't get into (for fear that people may get the wrong impression of me ).

    I believe that orgasms for females are just as much mental as they are physical.
    Last edited by pumplikecuming; 09-13-2012 at 07:03 PM.
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  17. #77
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    Well, you done beat that joke into the ground...
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  18. #78
    Banned pumplikecuming's Avatar
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  19. #79
    Registered User toriidavis's Avatar
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    I'm one week clean from nicotine...jealous, now...
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  20. #80
    The Italian Scallion BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    I'm one week clean from nicotine...jealous, now...
    I switched to e-cigs, try it .. it's been a while I like it almost better than the real thing
    the trick is to find really good juice
    who says love has to be soft and gentle ?
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  21. #81
    Team Ogre penny0527's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    I'm one week clean from nicotine...jealous, now...
    I have never been addicted to nicotine. You jealous? Kidding!!

    Seriously though good for you. Kicking any habit is a big deal. It seems like a lot of people I know are quitting now. I'm wondering if it's something to do with health insurance. Our HR manager held a benefits meeting a couple of weeks ago and said premiums on health insurance will be higher for tobacco users. The first year they will take your word for it but after that they will start testing. Has anyone else heard this about your insurance?
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  22. #82
    Turning Betas into Gammas Wyomann's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Artistry View Post
    Well, you done beat that joke into the ground...
    Does that mean he is the Dom and you are the Sub?
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  23. #83
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wyomann View Post
    Does that mean he is the Dom and you are the Sub?
    Nah, the joke was the sub. At this point, I'm just the confused dominatrix standing off to the side and wishing she had gone to grad school.
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  24. #84
    Registered User toriidavis's Avatar
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    Thank you! Im quitting mostly because it grosses me out. I do the majority of my smoking when I drink but for some reason I developed a habit of when someone pulls out a smoke, I ask for one. Not attractive and definitely annoys me when ppl ask me so I figure I should quit all together. I'm still young, also, so I don't want to ruin myself too much. It's just a better decision to stop.

    Those e-cigs are a great idea but when I used it, I felt congested and restricted in my chest. It was weird so I stop using it. Freaked me out, but my partner still uses it every once in awhile. She is considering the hypnosis to quit... That freaks me out too so I'm just going cold turkey.

    Originally Posted by penny0527 View Post
    I have never been addicted to nicotine. You jealous? Kidding!!

    Seriously though good for you. Kicking any habit is a big deal. It seems like a lot of people I know are quitting now. I'm wondering if it's something to do with health insurance. Our HR manager held a benefits meeting a couple of weeks ago and said premiums on health insurance will be higher for tobacco users. The first year they will take your word for it but after that they will start testing. Has anyone else heard this about your insurance?
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    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    I can't even stand to play wrestling or mock fighting with my man. It freaks me out really bad. Something about the guy I am with hitting me or hurting me is extremely disturbing to me on a very deep level. So no, I wouldn't be able to do anything that involved him hurting me in any way.
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    I don't live relationships in terms of power and dominance. I see them as mutual support.
    Also I can't fukking stand to be told what to do or ask permission for anything.
    This. We are individuals, and I view relationships as companionships.
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  27. #87
    The Italian Scallion BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    Those e-cigs are a great idea but when I used it, I felt congested and restricted in my chest. It was weird so I stop using it. Freaked me out, but my partner still uses it every once in awhile. She is considering the hypnosis to quit... That freaks me out too so I'm just going cold turkey.
    yeah the smoke that comes out has a tendency to dry you out and making you feel that way .. I quit cold turkey so you can definitely do it but I was doing like you
    go out to drink, everyone smokes etc...
    who says love has to be soft and gentle ?
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    Monsta Big_Sky_Guy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    I can't even stand to play wrestling or mock fighting with my man. It freaks me out really bad. Something about the guy I am with hitting me or hurting me is extremely disturbing to me on a very deep level. So no, I wouldn't be able to do anything that involved him hurting me in any way.
    But you are OK with the things meant to stimulate? Like spanking, maybe wax...as they are not meant to control or harm.

    Just curious.



    People's experiences shape them. SIL won't have anything to do with any kind of toy. Not sure what happened, or maybe she has just never been able to accept something "foreign" giving her pleasure.




    As to the OP. Never personally known anyone who has lived it. What is portrayed certainly has a different level of connection. The Dom never seems to let their guard down and communicate to the Sub that they love them or are truly enjoying the relationship/experience. Maybe that is left for the aftermath...
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  29. #89
    Registered User sy2502's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Big_Sky_Guy View Post
    But you are OK with the things meant to stimulate? Like spanking, maybe wax...as they are not meant to control or harm.

    Just curious.
    No spanking, it pisses me off something horrible. Wax doesn't bother me, but I don't find it particularly sexy either. I also hate to be restrained, held down, or tied up. Ice cream, chocolate sauce or whipped cream is more of my liking....
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  30. #90
    The Italian Scallion BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sy2502 View Post
    No spanking, it pisses me off something horrible. Wax doesn't bother me, but I don't find it particularly sexy either. I also hate to be restrained, held down, or tied up. Ice cream, chocolate sauce or whipped cream is more of my liking....
    you're sooo boring





    who says love has to be soft and gentle ?
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