Fallen need some help getting up(measly reps)

[BlazinBarbz]

exactly what the title says.
just turned 21 y/o. i decided to start my weight loss journey a year n a half ago, i've lost 90 lbs since then but the last 8 months in my life have been pretty iffy. i'd gain some, get scared and lose alot, and then back to where we started. it's been a vicious circle but i know i have what it takes to make it and do it. i just need to keep my emotions in check:

upon going on this journey i've let go almost all my friends(all they want to do is smoke and party n do drugs) i let go of that lifestyle to get fit and happy and now i'm just stuck with no friends to begin with, and a hell of a hard time trying to lose weight. i feel like my back is against the wall.

there are times where i would be doing great, my lifts would go up, my cardio getting better, i'm getting thinner and i feel on top of the world.. but then the weekend rolls around and i have nothing to do and that kills me. i get sad/lonely so i call up some of my old friends, and smoke some bud with 'em. then i get incredibly sad because i broke my promises: i smoked bud, i hung out with my old friends, and i went back on my weight loss all that coupled together just drives me into this week of just self loathing and pathetic-ness. i'm trying to change that, i'm trying to work on getting back on my feet quicker, but each time it feels like it gets harder and harder

honestly, I've never been a super goal-orientated person. never been disciplined (mom always did my laundry/cleaned room to this age, cooks for me) and i feel that has made me a super late bloomer. i don't have goals, even til this day. all i know is i want to lose weight, get stronger, and graduate college but i don't know where to start lol.

i just need you guys to help me, diagnose whatever the fck pathetic phase i'm going through now and help me. i want to start being goal orientated, i want to have a plan and a map of where i'm going to go. (i can't ask my parents for help on this because they're cuban they were raised in a farm with not much choice. not much goal setting and planning) i don't want to be just this impulsive person who moves through life anymore. i want to be more emotionally stable lol.

most importantly i want to believe in myself more. i feel pathetic when i look at those fb pictures of people and get sad. fck that, i don't want to be sad. why can't my success and goals be enough for me? more importantly than that.. if i can't balance what i have on my plate now, how do i do so when i start having "fun" and being more "social" per say? things i worry about all the time

if you guys have any words, any recommendations of books or ANYTHING that you think will help me get through what i'm going right now, please tell me.
i just want to get better, i want to progress. i need a paradigm shift, i need something to give me that little push. measly reps for good book recommendations and/or advice


cliffs:
-lost 90 pounds, 60 more to go
-incredibly emotionally unstable
-let go of party friends to lose weight
-have been at a stall on weight loss, now just frustrated
-get sad when i see pics of friends at parties/clubs (esp now that my weight loss has been at a stall)
-never been disciplined (WoW raised me. never did any HW, never had any chores. now that i'm adult i feel it's hitting me all at once)
-feel like a late bloomer.
-need help in being disciplined.
-need help in goal setting. need. help.
- believing in myself
-please recommend goods books/ words to help with what i'm going through (Measly reps)

[Serpentarius]

Are you going to be:
-the person who has regrets when you look back knowing you gave up and admit that you failed.
-person who looks back and can tell people of your success and inspire them

I know you posted that you derailed from your progress before, whats done is done, remember you have to find it in yourself to change because nobody else can do it for you.
If you want easy and simple ways to set goals, read the link in my signature, the first post about the cards.

If those people and the weed are setting you back, then ditch them and find new friends who share common POSITIVE interests, i know that sounds mean but leaving the past behind and surrounding yourself with positive people is the best thing you can do.

Ultimately you have to be accountable for your own actions and find the trigger that will allow you to succeed. If you dont have a job, find one. if you dont have a boyfriend, find one. If you dont have good friends, find them.

[BlazinBarbz]

thank you. yeah everytime i derail from my weight loss i come and post in here. you guys are the only people i can turn to who'll understand what i'm going through and can maybe help me.

as for finding a bf- no thanks, i'm incredibly insecure about my body that i don't even want to go there until i'm about 30-40 lbs from my ugw.
as for friends and job. i have a job, but you're right i do have to find new friends. i just don't really know how and have a pretty awkward time schedule.
thankfully i start class next week so hopefully i'll meet some new people there.

and as for goal setting cards, i have a question. did you take those cards with you? did you hang em up somewhere in your room?

[Serpentarius]

i just kept them in my closet in front of my whey since its the first thing i see after i turn my alarm off in the morning and wipe the fog from my eyes

watch this, its one min long

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-J1xSBcB7U

If you have hobbies, you can meet people there, or MAKE hobbies and get yourself interested in them. I dont really get along with people my age but most of my friends are older guys into cars since that is my biggest hobby, a prime place to meet people for myself. You are smart, you can find a way!