Post your fav. copypasta

[kosich]

navy seal, definitely.


What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ****ing dead, kiddo.

[Unfocus]

navy seal, definitely.


What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ****ing dead, kiddo.

What the ****

[ayoliang]

navy seal, definitely.


What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ****ing dead, kiddo.

hahaha

[koloxid]

On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.
I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.
I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?

[arman24]

On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the gym all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought at GNC. I was surprised they didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure the cashier noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from GNC. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the creatine monster from the bag.
I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I will be 50lbs heavier. Should I say I was just eating a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and open the creatine, scooping upservings into a clear water bottle. What have I gotten myself into? I fill it with water and drink it. There is no turning back now. The creatine monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I cant let my family know about this.
I open the creatine tub and throw it all out the window; a white cloud of mysterious dust sparkles into the wind so graciously. I feel the substance taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, its time to work out; time to get big. Now I worry, I don't want to get too big; people will think I use steroids. I do use steroids. No I don't. Creatine. All I see is the weights now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this **** now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the weights, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?

Creatine, not even once.

[MeatloaffPatty]

fuark reading all this sheet

[Superlative95]

I just came on here to show you how real men roll.

Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ****ing umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight ****ing frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like mother****ing fountains. Made the **** beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you ***gots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures. Carl out.



so i have to do presentation for class
-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school

[arman24]

I just came on here to show you how real men roll.
so i have to do presentation for class
-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school

lol'd

[Staudtyyy]

lmao

[Obsess]

The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.

[Joeyyyyy]

so i have to do presentation for class
-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school

Lmao!

[Controll]

this is a 5-star thread here brahs

[Uwotm8brah]

Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal.
and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude,
and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good
fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever
potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******.





u are 1 ****ing cheeky **** mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil
bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles
lol ****in sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur
mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil
****in gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer



oly fuking shiit OP. I'm on the edge of my god damn seat right now. I'm so excited I'm going to punch my
dog in the face. This is defiantly the thread of 2011. I've backed up a copy onto my external
harddrive incase the internet gets deleted.
My favorite part of this thread is when you explain the way you made the huge money
you speak of, then consequently spent it all.
I've given this a 5* rating because I enjoyed reading your story, I have also added to
your positive reputation because you're an awesome poster. Thanks brah, sincerely.
(not srs, negged you fuking scum bag)

[SwoleJuice]

Edit : Not sure if allowed or not.

[Uwotm8brah]

ok this is what happening,
my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help
see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)
and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while.
We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her
english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz
so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex
"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing,
ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."
So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room.
she is a bit confused and scared.
then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it
wont fit in properly.
ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it
wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i
burned it.
i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are
really smart please help me.
any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?




Hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good,
ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably
sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and
you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?






So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes
into her room to dress.
Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls,
so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fukc is wrong with her and she
points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump
to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fukcing
sisters head.
she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling
down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with
one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only
other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my aids shorts spanking her rearend
while she is crying her ****ing guts out.
Most embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was
spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in
your fukcing room immediatly you sick fukcing predator". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her
undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.

i really feel like killing myself right now

[BrandonTe]

-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school

[ewejoocee]

OP that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun my head, I would say the part where you posted pics.*I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk,*
which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort*the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you*embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother,*who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she*
heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you OP.



lol u wot m8

[Uwotm8brah]

moar boar

[Controll]

the vid was awesome

[LNCB96]

when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the **** out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small **** will entirely black and blue, her ***** was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

...god I’m ****ed up.

[kosich]

when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the **** out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small **** will entirely black and blue, her ***** was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

...god I’m ****ed up.

Dafuq did i just read..

[Unfocus]

when I was 13, I tied up this girl that was 12 with a jumprope, then beat the **** out of her.

By the time I was done, her lip was split, her wrists were bleeding from the rope cuttin into them, one of her eyes was swollen shut, she was missing two teeth, her small **** will entirely black and blue, her ***** was bleeding, and I’m fairly sure that several bones in her feet were broken.

When I let her down, she crumpled on the floor and went into a fetal position and just hugged her legs to her chest and sobbed quietly.

I suddenly got very aroused seeing that, so I pulled out my dick (I has actally hit puberty 12, and was hairy, balls dropped and everything functioning) and started jerking off quietly. Eventually, I started to breathe harder, and she noticed what I was doing, and she just looked at me with this look of absolute horror on her face.

It was at that moment that I climaxed and sprayed probably my biggest load of cum ever all over face and chest.

Then, I picked up her torn shirt from the ground, wiped off my dick and tossed it to her.

I told her to clean herself up and that if she ever told anyone, I would go to her house and kill her while she slept, and that if anyone asked who hurt her, she should say a bunch of highschool kids did it.

When I think back on it, I think she was the first girl I ever loved.

...god I’m ****ed up.

[ectofitness]

The cool story bro copy/pasta.

Don't have it.


And the fawking zeezbrah one.

[Laidbackzack]

just saw this copy pasta. funny as ****:
I was just masturbating and everything was going great. I was in my room, i had my headphones on, i was totally naked sitting at my computer fapping away to a video on redtube. All of a sudden there's this really sharp pain in my dick, like it just got stabbed with a sewing needle. I jerked my hand back and it bumped into my computer tower, which sits on the desk. Well, i had my stick of deodorant on top of the tower, and that bitch fell off and landed deodorant-end-down on the head of my cock. Holy ****ing **** did that hurt, and on top of that it hit so hard that it actually forced some deodorant into my urethra. I've never had anything burn so bad in my entire life. I jumped out of my ****ing chair and stood up because it hurt so bad; this caused my headphone cable to get yanked out of my speakers, which caused "oh yeah baby come deep in my tight teen ******* uh uh uh" to get blared through my ****ing house and almost maximum volume. Now my eyes are watering from the pain of the deodorant inside my cock but i manage to punch one of my speakers hard enough so they turn off. I looked down and noticed blood dripping off of my cock; i guess the lip of the plastic deodorant thing bit into my foreskin as it connected with my cock. The blood was dripping down my leg. This all happened in the space of maybe 6 seconds. It may seem bad but it gets worse. Just as i'm standing there trying to figure out what the **** happened, my bedroom door ****ing opens. My dad was standing there with my acceptance letter to johns hopkins. I froze and he stared at me, naked with my bloody erection for maybe 15 seconds before he noticed my computer monitor and the brutal anal sex scene going on full-screen. He immediately closed the door and left without saying anything. This may seem embarrassing but my dad is a seriously conservative christian.

[BrandonTe]

My nut sack exploded... I had the most insane orgasm just now. I'm sick, tired and dehydrated and that orgasm took everything out of me through my urethra but oh lawdddd

[Bone32]

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.



Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking *******



lmagine this. You are attracted to women, Iike you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.




are you aware that whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species1. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Greens are set aside in a Brandy Snifter, both in homage to rockers of old2, and for small amounts of self indulgence3 as the championship is underway.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

[l2evolution]

Hey *******s,

My name is Brian Alvarez, and I lost over 100 pounds with the Bowflex. All of you are ugly, retarded, obese losers who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. Unlike you ***s, I am not embarrassed to take my shirt off. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, take me for example, I love laughing at my friends who are fat like you guys. I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. Now that I have a Bowflex Body, I look better, I feel better... My wife gives me that little wink every now and then. (She just blew me; **** was SO bowflex). You are all ***gots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

[bwbraves70]

Best. Thread. Ever.

[Barlow141]

woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and mypores emit the manliest cologne possible.

I got in my 2011 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her.

She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed.

My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels.

They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside, to type this to you lowlife. Be honored.

[Cudabrah]

Plz respond