Need help (sloot involved) (mod reps)

[Shermanatorx]

This Friday I am making my way down to Miami, FL for a few reasons:

1. Hopefully to hang out with VPX_Sports and tour their sick facilities down there.
2. I'm departing from Miami on a cruise to Cozumel Saturday.
3. I've been set up on a blind date this coming Friday night.

#3 is what this thread is all about. Though this was intended to be a blind date on both parties ends, I was given her name and therefore I cheated by looking her up. Luckily, I am impressed with her heavenly beauty.

I found her on ********, but have refrained from sending her a friend request; I don't want her to know my identity for the time being (will ruin my plan).

I can only see two pics of her (profile pics) due to us not being friends:



*right one fyi...




Now, the point of this thread....

I need copy n pasta's that will make it sound like I am hitting on her hardcore that I will send via pm through ********. The weirder the better. I am going out of my way to meet this girl and I want to make sure she is worth my time, i.e, she needs to have a sense of humor.

I will screen shot our convo if she has the balls to respond.


GO!!!!







*no mod reps

[2 HUGE]

"you're everything I didnt think I wanted in a girl"

lmao

[thedarce]

start with "where have i been all your life"

[jabmaster2]

Ask her if she likes cheese omletes

[kr1kit]

Tell her that you recommend AAEFX K-OTIC.

[ChrisLS8]

I've had a crush on you for hours

[ChrisLS8]

hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?




DO IT FGT FGT FGT

[sovietrussia15]

I've had a crush on you for hours

lmao fukkin dying

[longhorns_p]

When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

[kr1kit]

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

[Shermanatorx]

Keep em coming *******s, repping the one I choose.

[Shermanatorx]

hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?





DO IT FGT FGT FGT

That one might end with cops on my porch.

[ChrisLS8]

For our first date how bout some dinner? I was thinking we could base jump to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, while we're falling I would whip out a box of camping matches and cook you a can of Progresso Chicken Noodle soup and we could discuss the difference between jam and jelly. If we really hit it off then you can eat it from my mouth when we get to the bottom. But I'll bring a bowl just in case.

[ChrisLS8]

I would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to run the fingers of one of my prosthetic hands through your beautiful hair.

I would let a blind epileptic man shave my entire body with a hunters knife then ride a pool noodle through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back fist pumping my head just to get the chance to purchase your bikini bottoms after they had been donated to Goodwill then bought and worn by a homeless male prostitute for 5 years.

This has never happened before, but I was looking at your profile pictures and you have managed to seduce my clothes off with out even saying a word. I'm almost scared for when you message me back cuz I don't know what will happen

I would hug a cactus then swim thru shark infested salt water to the arctic to do battle with an angry mother polar bear on a 2x2 foot iceberg for the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam over a dial up connection.

Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice

I would recite the Chinese alphabet backwards with Rosie O'Donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to get a chance to make a call to a disconnected phone number with that cell phone after its been dragged thru 4 miles of elephant feces.

Oh my goodness! I just lost all of today's workout gainz from sitting here sweating profusely and looking at your profile pictures. I hope you're happy, you are the sole cause behind the genocide of thousands of my unborn offspring. I think you at least owe me a protein shake or something. I was almost too embarrassed to say this, but since you only accept longer messages I'll just spit it out. I would suck the dick of your ex-boyfriend just to get a taste of you

I would do battle with a family of wolverines inside of a port-o-potty with my hands tied behind my back and an anal bead flail strapped to my head as my only weapon just to get the chance to split a 5th of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born.

If she has big boobs... Holy gigantic jugs Batman! Don't get me wrong a girl with a sense of humor and whit is good too, but I can't motorboat a personality.

I think the next time I go to the sperm bank I'm going to use you profile pictures

You have a striking resemblance to the girl I lost my virginity to. I'm willing to make the same mistake twice, if ya know what im sayin

Your profile pictures have put me in quite a predicament. I'm dripping in sweat, my protein shake has gone from my mouth to my lap, and now I'm sitting hear harder than a diamond in a sandstorm. So while I'm dealing with this situation you should take a look at my profile, heck, even masturbate to my pictures if you want, I don't know what kind of stuff you're into but I think we could put the Circus Ole acrobats to shame on the cabin floor......

I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you

I would lick gravy from the crevices of Ralphie May's thighs to have a conversation with you over a syphilis ridden cell phone with bad reception

I would belly flop into a pool of AIDS infested needles just to put my name in a hat with 1 million other names for a chance to caress your beautiful legs while wearing gloves.

I would simply walk into Mordor and wage war against all of the orks wielding a dwarf as my only weapon and Smeagol on my back punching me in the eye for a chance to share a candle lit dinner involving a big Zak Snak, fried cheddar bites, me and my precious, which would be you, of course.

Good lord my heavenly blessed beauty who's beauty is divine and everlasting. If there were ever a picture beside the word 'cute' in that heavy @$$ book that Webster published it would be those earrings you're sporting in your profile pic

[Rodzilla01]

i would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to run the fingers of one of my prosthetic hands through your beautiful hair.

I would let a blind epileptic man shave my entire body with a hunters knife then ride a pool noodle through shark infested waters with snookie on my back fist pumping my head just to get the chance to purchase your bikini bottoms after they had been donated to goodwill then bought and worn by a homeless male prostitute for 5 years.

This has never happened before, but i was looking at your profile pictures and you have managed to seduce my clothes off with out even saying a word. I'm almost scared for when you message me back cuz i don't know what will happen

i would hug a cactus then swim thru shark infested salt water to the arctic to do battle with an angry mother polar bear on a 2x2 foot iceberg for the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam over a dial up connection.

Just wanted to say i find you very attractive. If i got to know you, i would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, i would pull you close and whisper in your ear "i have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then i would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice

i would recite the chinese alphabet backwards with rosie o'donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to get a chance to make a call to a disconnected phone number with that cell phone after its been dragged thru 4 miles of elephant feces.

Oh my goodness! I just lost all of today's workout gainz from sitting here sweating profusely and looking at your profile pictures. I hope you're happy, you are the sole cause behind the genocide of thousands of my unborn offspring. I think you at least owe me a protein shake or something. I was almost too embarrassed to say this, but since you only accept longer messages i'll just spit it out. I would suck the dick of your ex-boyfriend just to get a taste of you

i would do battle with a family of wolverines inside of a port-o-potty with my hands tied behind my back and an anal bead flail strapped to my head as my only weapon just to get the chance to split a 5th of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born.

If she has big boobs... Holy gigantic jugs batman! Don't get me wrong a girl with a sense of humor and whit is good too, but i can't motorboat a personality.

I think the next time i go to the sperm bank i'm going to use you profile pictures

you have a striking resemblance to the girl i lost my virginity to. I'm willing to make the same mistake twice, if ya know what im sayin

your profile pictures have put me in quite a predicament. I'm dripping in sweat, my protein shake has gone from my mouth to my lap, and now i'm sitting hear harder than a diamond in a sandstorm. So while i'm dealing with this situation you should take a look at my profile, heck, even masturbate to my pictures if you want, i don't know what kind of stuff you're into but i think we could put the circus ole acrobats to shame on the cabin floor......

I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the amazon river with rosie o'donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you

i would lick gravy from the crevices of ralphie may's thighs to have a conversation with you over a syphilis ridden cell phone with bad reception

i would belly flop into a pool of aids infested needles just to put my name in a hat with 1 million other names for a chance to caress your beautiful legs while wearing gloves.

I would simply walk into mordor and wage war against all of the orks wielding a dwarf as my only weapon and smeagol on my back punching me in the eye for a chance to share a candle lit dinner involving a big zak snak, fried cheddar bites, me and my precious, which would be you, of course.

Good lord my heavenly blessed beauty who's beauty is divine and everlasting. If there were ever a picture beside the word 'cute' in that heavy @$$ book that webster published it would be those earrings you're sporting in your profile pic

winnar^^^

[ChrisLS8]

You see my life hasn't always been sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes I just get caught up so much in the little things that I lose sight of the bigger picture. Next thing you know you're falling mid-semesters and have to make a living jello wrestling Coach Chuggs at frat parties. And so it becomes a vicious cycle, much like dat dere celltech. UNtil that one days grace, where the gods have mercy on your soul and you get a second chance. NO more crackpipes and over 40' swinger parties. Imma new man.. Well that day is today and I am ever thankful that I got to lay eyes upon a beauty as fine as you. I would love to meet up some time? My place for scamby eggs and coffee? Whaddya say?

oh fair maiden, what a glorious joy to look at art thou. you present yourself in only the most divine fabric, of which i spend many a morrow gazing on your everbeaming radiance. Your eyes glisten in the moonlight, your footsteps softly whisper on the twigs below. in the forest of love you are my pride and joy. I spend many days and nights, of which are long; deep in though of a creature which could expand my mind and reinforce my belief that somewhere out there, mine quest for a soulmate shall be completeth. You are such a exceptional creation and your simple presence overwhelms me, my soulmate, is thou. I want to spend the entirety of my life with you. i could not wish for a more suitable mother to my unborn offsprings. your womb would be as tender as your cheeks and would nurture my babies as you nurture me. Please accept my glorious bounty, in return for your presence, for ever and always. I love you.

delta ecko charly this is zulu foxcott the goose on lake, i repeat goose on lake what is ur status over

aye yo wut up doe, you sho do got a phat ass der shawty. How bout you bring your phat ass over to da crib, my parents is outta town for the week so I gots da crib all to myself. You bring that pink pussy, I'll bring the ***. Oh I almost forgot, I got some 40s in the fridge if u like ta get buzzed. I got a drawer full of magnums, tho I dont even like condoms cause dey take away da feeling of dat gushy gushy wet wet. I mean why even wear a condom?If you get preggo so wut, at least your kid gonna grow up to be beautiful like me nomsayin, on dat real ***** time. They gonna be like a model and ****. They gonna be fukking rich, they probably buy u a Maybach and a house in da Hamptons, but whatever. I got a bottle full of KY and balls full of cum. Lets get this party started. Im make u scream and cream baby gurl.


What should we do about these feelings we have for eachother? I think we should spend time together as soon as possible and see what happens. Im crazy about you and you make me feel so special knowing you are thinking about me!! Hop you get some great sleep and we get a chance to talk more later!!

Sometimes when I poop, I use the shaping attachment from my old Play Doh fun set. I place it on my anus, and make poops in different shapes. There's nothing strange about that at all. I'm an American, living in America, and if I want to have poops shaped like stars, I have every right to. The founding fathers would have wanted it that way.

[ChrisLS8]

So I came home earlier and I wanted some gushy gushy wet wet and so I started wrestling and shiit with my wife trying to get her in the mood but she had been up all day with our daughter and she said she was tired and I was like "well can I at least get a BJ??" and she was like "baby I'm too tired" and at this point i'm getting kinda mad because I'm ready to smush and she isn't DTF so I was like **** it and I reached over and got some lube out of my nightstand and started fapping and she was like "What the **** are you doing" I was like "trying to fap" and she got pissed and said "go do it in the shower it is strange as **** watching you" and I said "it is my bed i'll fap if I want to" and then I went "fap fap fap fap" and she storms out of the room and comes back with ice water and throws that **** on my dick and I was like " **** you can't phase me" and I started fapping with a fast and furious pace and she walks back out of the room raging and right when she walked back in I blew my load all over my stomach and was like "u mad??"

[Dewey99]

Tell her: "I've got a problem I was hoping you could help me with" She replies "What's that". You say "I'm a virgin".

[Free Weight Friedel]

I would chop off both of my hands with a salty turkey carver then swim through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back pumping my face into the water for a chance to run the fingers of one of my prosthetic hands through your beautiful hair.

I would let a blind epileptic man shave my entire body with a hunters knife then ride a pool noodle through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back fist pumping my head just to get the chance to purchase your bikini bottoms after they had been donated to Goodwill then bought and worn by a homeless male prostitute for 5 years.

This has never happened before, but I was looking at your profile pictures and you have managed to seduce my clothes off with out even saying a word. I'm almost scared for when you message me back cuz I don't know what will happen

I would hug a cactus then swim thru shark infested salt water to the arctic to do battle with an angry mother polar bear on a 2x2 foot iceberg for the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam over a dial up connection.

Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice

I would recite the Chinese alphabet backwards with Rosie O'Donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to get a chance to make a call to a disconnected phone number with that cell phone after its been dragged thru 4 miles of elephant feces.

Oh my goodness! I just lost all of today's workout gainz from sitting here sweating profusely and looking at your profile pictures. I hope you're happy, you are the sole cause behind the genocide of thousands of my unborn offspring. I think you at least owe me a protein shake or something. I was almost too embarrassed to say this, but since you only accept longer messages I'll just spit it out. I would suck the dick of your ex-boyfriend just to get a taste of you

I would do battle with a family of wolverines inside of a port-o-potty with my hands tied behind my back and an anal bead flail strapped to my head as my only weapon just to get the chance to split a 5th of vodka with the male nurse that was in the delivery room when you were born.

If she has big boobs... Holy gigantic jugs Batman! Don't get me wrong a girl with a sense of humor and whit is good too, but I can't motorboat a personality.

I think the next time I go to the sperm bank I'm going to use you profile pictures

You have a striking resemblance to the girl I lost my virginity to. I'm willing to make the same mistake twice, if ya know what im sayin

Your profile pictures have put me in quite a predicament. I'm dripping in sweat, my protein shake has gone from my mouth to my lap, and now I'm sitting hear harder than a diamond in a sandstorm. So while I'm dealing with this situation you should take a look at my profile, heck, even masturbate to my pictures if you want, I don't know what kind of stuff you're into but I think we could put the Circus Ole acrobats to shame on the cabin floor......

I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you

I would lick gravy from the crevices of Ralphie May's thighs to have a conversation with you over a syphilis ridden cell phone with bad reception

I would belly flop into a pool of AIDS infested needles just to put my name in a hat with 1 million other names for a chance to caress your beautiful legs while wearing gloves.

I would simply walk into Mordor and wage war against all of the orks wielding a dwarf as my only weapon and Smeagol on my back punching me in the eye for a chance to share a candle lit dinner involving a big Zak Snak, fried cheddar bites, me and my precious, which would be you, of course.

Good lord my heavenly blessed beauty who's beauty is divine and everlasting. If there were ever a picture beside the word 'cute' in that heavy @$$ book that Webster published it would be those earrings you're sporting in your profile pic

Fcukin Wat?

Sherm, if you send this too that girl she may die from boredom!




































Or respond - tl:dr

[Shermanatorx]

Lol, I love the long one (yes homo).

Is there a character limit for pm's? Also, if we're not friends, can she even see my pm's to her?

[kr1kit]

Lol, I love the long one (yes homo).

Is there a character limit for pm's? Also, if we're not friends, can she even see my pm's to her?

I don't think theres a limit, and yes if she accepts messages from non-friends then you can. Some people have that turned off though.

[Corey_Ellis]

I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore would make a great choice for a breeding partner.

I must ask though: How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light discourse?

That is very good to know, since I could not possibly fathom being with a girl who cannot climb trees. This is going splendid so far. How would you rate your abilities is combat?

Its rather difficult to say at this point, but I envisioned myself shooting things into enclosed spaces.

Hello heavenly blessed beauty whose inner beauty and outter beauty is simply divine and everlasting, Yours is an ancient beauty, the kind of muse that inspired Omar Khayyam or the Chauraspanchasika. Surely it was an angel like you who wooed Odysseus as he stood tied to the mast or whose light burst from the balcony that inspired Romeo... to song. Oh be my muse, fair princess and we shall teach the generations to come how to love.

I'd run a marathon on hot coal covered with AIDS infected needles with Donald Trump's dick cheese covering my nose and piranhas clipped to my balls and hornets in my eyes just to rub my dick on cactus a homeless man planted, who ate half a sandwich you threw away 5 years ago.

Stay safe.

[SwolenONE]

Mention it being a pre requisite that she takes a multi and lifts heavy.

[Shermanatorx]

Holy hell Corey, that is good stuff.

[reverse79]

only works if she says yes..


"Do you want to see the Titanic in 3D?"

Sure..

"I'll be over in a bit with my pants down"


Cheeseball for the win

[kr1kit]

It's time to make a POF account and use these lines.

[Valhallabound86]

"Do you live around here often?"

[Shermanatorx]

[BlueRev]

No offense but sometimes when girls find out you looked them up on ******** they call it creepy lol

But say something like

"You would loook alot better in your profile pic with me standing next to you"

[Jeff the Repper]

"you look so much better from this angle than the view I have from your attic"


"I love pointy elbows"