New Gay Thread - Part 5

[LoL Rick]

Some of the old timers pop in occasionally.

[MiamiSpartan]

Popping in....too much going on...hurricane recovery....put our house on the market and it sold in a week....bought a new place in Naples that will eventually be our permanent home....for the time being, we are renting a place in Miami since I am still working....and all of this happening during my busiest time at work....

[MiamiSpartan]

I came across a few of your postings; this is what I like about this thread; it's a great community and fun to interact with. When I get more used to how the site works and feeling comfortable, I'd like to post things about life in north texas and coming from a baptist family. lol. oh, the stories...

Another reformed baptist here. 🤗

[bhujerban]

I delayed in sharing this, but here ya go. This is my 2017 review video.

[bhujerban]

My fiancé Mark died of an aortic aneurism on Monday morning. I am beside myself with grief. <---- This doesn't begin to do justice to my feelings. My future has been torn from me. I have to move back in with an elderly lady, and give up my decent job at the store. There's no reason to stay in Madison anymore. The outpouring of sympathy from my people has been wonderful, but I still feel really alone in this. We all loved him, and heaven has another angel, but we who are left behind are devastated by the loss.

I just can't process this. Where do I go? What happens now? I will never find another love like that, and everything I know is about to change for the worse. How does one go on with life??? He was my world, and now the earth is bare and the sea turned black. All is dead for me.

[MiamiSpartan]

Aw geez....that is awful! I am so sorry for your loss.....😢😢

[cast iron shore]

Just checking in after a couple years away. I remember this thread as being pretty active, but it seems like it's fallen off the radar. Is there another thread that has replaced it?

[bhujerban]

Just checking in after a couple years away. I remember this thread as being pretty active, but it seems like it's fallen off the radar. Is there another thread that has replaced it?

Couldn't say. This is my first check-in since May, and I'm surprised there hasn't been more.

It's been four months since Mark was murdered. He didn't have an aortic aneurism - he went to a party on March 17th and was poisoned with a near-lethal dose of amphetamines. He was rushed to a hospital where he was revived, but he was never the same after that. He dropped dead on April 2nd as a result of his injuries. There is an ongoing police investigation into this party.
I have adjusted to life back in Rockford, but I can hardly be said to be living. I'm seeing someone, one of my old buddies from my porn days, but I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I've also been seeing Greg, my ex, and we're actually okay. I might ask him for a second chance. I don't want to be alone anymore, and for a time, it worked between us. I will say that the sex is better now than it was when we were together the first time.
I've got a job at a local store, but it isn't fun. The shoppers are frequently terrible and unpleasant. Customer service sucks. It does, however, pay the highest hourly wage I've ever earned. I'm still at the church, and things are changing. New pastor, kicked some poor singers out of the choir, and just trying to live in a post-Mark world. Every day is a struggle.
I also hired a personal trainer. He challenges me and supports me. I'm finally seeing what I've been doing wrong all these years, and making significant progress. Scott will finally be beef.

I guess things are good. I just wish we talked more like in the old days.

[StangII]

I'm Nick. This may sound strange, but I'm into guys with loose skin from weight loss. If you have any and feel self-conscious, message me. You'll probably be left feeling better about it (I am non-judgmental, and I think it's sexy. Hopefully, you will feel sexy too)

[Savyna]

Unsure if any of you are still even logging into the forums here. I logged in only to grab my old workout log link lol. But hoping you all are doing well!

[Savyna]

My fiancé Mark died of an aortic aneurism on Monday morning. I am beside myself with grief. <---- This doesn't begin to do justice to my feelings. My future has been torn from me. I have to move back in with an elderly lady, and give up my decent job at the store. There's no reason to stay in Madison anymore. The outpouring of sympathy from my people has been wonderful, but I still feel really alone in this. We all loved him, and heaven has another angel, but we who are left behind are devastated by the loss.

I just can't process this. Where do I go? What happens now? I will never find another love like that, and everything I know is about to change for the worse. How does one go on with life??? He was my world, and now the earth is bare and the sea turned black. All is dead for me.

OMG! I was just thinking after my other post "I wonder how he's doing, if he's still singing etc. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss!!!! Hope things are a little better now and I hope you've been able to find a bit of peace/a reason to keep living. <3 Sending lots of love and support your way!

[Savyna]

Couldn't say. This is my first check-in since May, and I'm surprised there hasn't been more.

It's been four months since Mark was murdered. He didn't have an aortic aneurism - he went to a party on March 17th and was poisoned with a near-lethal dose of amphetamines. He was rushed to a hospital where he was revived, but he was never the same after that. He dropped dead on April 2nd as a result of his injuries. There is an ongoing police investigation into this party.
I have adjusted to life back in Rockford, but I can hardly be said to be living. I'm seeing someone, one of my old buddies from my porn days, but I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I've also been seeing Greg, my ex, and we're actually okay. I might ask him for a second chance. I don't want to be alone anymore, and for a time, it worked between us. I will say that the sex is better now than it was when we were together the first time.
I've got a job at a local store, but it isn't fun. The shoppers are frequently terrible and unpleasant. Customer service sucks. It does, however, pay the highest hourly wage I've ever earned. I'm still at the church, and things are changing. New pastor, kicked some poor singers out of the choir, and just trying to live in a post-Mark world. Every day is a struggle.
I also hired a personal trainer. He challenges me and supports me. I'm finally seeing what I've been doing wrong all these years, and making significant progress. Scott will finally be beef.

I guess things are good. I just wish we talked more like in the old days.

I need to get better at reading all of the forum before responding. I'm still sorry to hear that it was a murder and not (unfortunate) natural causes. Still hoping things have turned up for you and that its smoother in the relationship department with the men you mentioned.

[MiamiSpartan]

Hmm. Not much action here any longer....lots of life changes here...
Finally retired after 34 years with my company in February.. we sold our house in Miami and we made the permanent move a couple hours west to Naples. MUCH quieter there. And I’m considered young. 😎
But the whole relocation process, which was crazy stressful, pulled me away from the gym routine. Which sucks. I did it to myself.
Then we decided I should take extra time off before going back to work in Naples, so we could do some traveling.
3 weeks in California
4 weeks in Italy, Greece and Vienna
2 weeks in Chicago
Currently typing from Prague before heading to Bavaria, Salzburg, Croatia, and Cyprus.
Another NE trip for the fall.
Seriously considering taking Christmas off, which would be my first one off in 34 years....

SO basically I’m taking gym time off until I can get into a better routine. Gotta get my motivation back...

[Savyna]

Hmm. Not much action here any longer....lots of life changes here...
Finally retired after 34 years with my company in February.. we sold our house in Miami and we made the permanent move a couple hours west to Naples. MUCH quieter there. And I’m considered young. 😎
But the whole relocation process, which was crazy stressful, pulled me away from the gym routine. Which sucks. I did it to myself.
Then we decided I should take extra time off before going back to work in Naples, so we could do some traveling.
3 weeks in California
4 weeks in Italy, Greece and Vienna
2 weeks in Chicago
Currently typing from Prague before heading to Bavaria, Salzburg, Croatia, and Cyprus.
Another NE trip for the fall.
Seriously considering taking Christmas off, which would be my first one off in 34 years....

SO basically I’m taking gym time off until I can get into a better routine. Gotta get my motivation back...

Congratulations on your retirement, cheers to your new adventures! Oo Naples. I don't know much about Florida, but would Naples be an area thought of for their fishing space? I've always thought of going to Florida someday to just fish and enjoy the rest of my years past the 9-5 gig.
Happy getting your gym motivation groove back.

[brodyman35]

Hmm. Not much action here any longer....lots of life changes here...
Finally retired after 34 years with my company in February.. we sold our house in Miami and we made the permanent move a couple hours west to Naples. MUCH quieter there. And I’m considered young. 😎
But the whole relocation process, which was crazy stressful, pulled me away from the gym routine. Which sucks. I did it to myself.
Then we decided I should take extra time off before going back to work in Naples, so we could do some traveling.
3 weeks in California
4 weeks in Italy, Greece and Vienna
2 weeks in Chicago
Currently typing from Prague before heading to Bavaria, Salzburg, Croatia, and Cyprus.
Another NE trip for the fall.
Seriously considering taking Christmas off, which would be my first one off in 34 years....

SO basically I’m taking gym time off until I can get into a better routine. Gotta get my motivation back...

congratulations on the retirement. I, too, have been absent from here for a while and notice the changes. not as lively as before. lol

[frankfrank3630]

My fiancé Mark died...Monday morning. I am beside myself with grief. <---- This doesn't begin to do justice to my feelings. My future has been torn from me.

We all loved him, and heaven has another angel, but we who are left behind are devastated by the loss.

I will never find another love like that, and everything I know is about to change for the worse...He was my world, and now the earth is bare and the sea turned black. All is dead for me.

It's been four months since Mark was murdered. He didn't have an aortic aneurism - he...was poisoned...He dropped dead on April 2nd as a result of his injuries.

I've also been seeing Greg, my ex, and we're actually okay. I might ask him for a second chance. I don't want to be alone anymore, and for a time, it worked between us. I will say that the sex is better now than it was when we were together the first time.

just trying to live in a post-Mark world. Every day is a struggle.

I also hired a personal trainer. He challenges me and supports me.

Scott will finally be beef.

I guess things are good.

Oh man, I don't even know what to say.

This is the first time I've even known about this thread, though Savyna and Miami Spartan both posted here in mid-July 2019 during my figurative "fifteen minutes" of a couple hours a day for 10-12 days here during that period. I've posted a lot fewer times here since, than during that period. I guess I missed this thread because I'm 99% a miscer when I do read and post.

bhujerban, I am so sorry for what happened to you a couple years ago. I felt you, man. With me having a light touch of what I assume is Asperger's, I feel a lot of empathy for others. Reading what happened to Mark, definitely hurt.

The Asperger's is "assumed" because I had my treatments - 380 days in a psychiatric hospital, home on weekends - well before the diagnosis existed. (Mine, at the time, was more toward "the severe" side of still being moderate.) The experience was extremely beneficial, an adverb-adjective combination seldom used by people with such an experience.

I am, though, so thankful that I WAS able to read about you, and the second post showing some very real promise for your future, from two & a half years ago now. I'm certain I'm not the only one hoping for an update from you, and further hoping that it has worked out better than you expected, since - but I/we will keep hoping for you to let us know what's going on. Thank you for sharing, bhujerban. I know it took a lot of courage on your part to post (and, furthermore, correct the "aneurysm" post when you were certainly in the initial stage, that of denial - no reason ever to feel bad about that).

More than one big cyberhug to send from Chicago, for best wishes and aloha in the current and future tense, healing for what happened in early 2018, and for you to pass along to other people who are important and dear to you.

Finally retired after 34 years

MUCH quieter there. And I’m considered young.

But the whole relocation process, which was crazy stressful, pulled me away from the gym routine. Which sucks.

Then we decided I should take extra time off before going back to work in Naples, so we could do some traveling.
3 weeks in California
4 weeks in Italy, Greece and Vienna...heading to Bavaria, Salzburg, Croatia, and Cyprus.

I’m taking gym time off until I can get into a better routine. Gotta get my motivation back...

Wish the BB Forum had a way to underline, color, enlarge, or highlight text...because I'd be inclined to make annotations in the excerpts I quoted from you, as there were a number of things (as I quoted) which merit short comments.

Very good going on your retirement, MS! That has become QUITE seldom, nowadays, that somebody is actually able to "ride with" a decent job all the way to retirement. You were able to move where you wanted. First, it's good to see you use the "we" pronoun, because it not only means that you made the [apparently grueling] move, but with somebody you're FORTUNATE to love. Oh yeah, it may be quiet now, but aren't all the counties below Tampa the fastest-growing part of the state? (Oh, sorry...) I assume that you (both of you?) have been able to get back into your gym routine...well, at least for a year or so. 2020 has NOT been a good year for that at all, as gyms aren't "essential" and spent much of the year closed down in many states.

I LOVE California, but I wouldn't really want to live there now. For one thing, I could never afford it...when I go to the Far West, it's always a competition whether I spend more time in California, or Oregon. Oregon may not compete as robustly next time because my two best friends there (a straight couple) have since moved to Michigan.

When you went to Italy, did you include the namesake Naples???? I've been to ten countries in Europe, and Italy is my favorite of the lot, but I'm thinking I'd like UK as much or more.

Croatia?? Oh wow...did you do the usual tourist thing and go to Split and/or Dubrovnik, or did you go to Zagreb (or both)? Italy may be my favorite country, but Zagreb is my favorite city! If you missed that beauty with its vibrant outdoor life, you did miss something special. I hung out with a magician after his outdoor show, who was from Israel, for a little while. Nice looking guy, as people from that part of the world (and...Arabs...woof!) just are, as you may or may not agree. Eight miles of walking, including going "off the map" and interpolating my way back to it an hour later (and flawlessly, I'm good at that). While out and about, I stumbled on an outdoors set for a feature-length movie being filmed. The scene I saw from a ways off, was somebody being detained by two police officers. I saw them film it twice, as an observer on the edge of a great arboretum/park. I wouldn't have seen that if I hadn't left the map. Less than half an hour later I walked THROUGH an outdoors wedding reception, held in the "Old Town" with a stunning view of all the central city below the cliff. Earlier the best ice cream (gelato) in my lifetime, high-octane dark chocolate which was so rich it was BLACK. They have an incredible outdoor botanical garden about a kilometer long, with more than 6000 species. They also have a huge park right downtown. Zagreb holds a special warm spot in my heart. I realized that there was no way I had time to explore Trieste, Italy. That was certainly the most interesting place on the whole trip that I saw, but couldn't take in, because of the time I burned in Zagreb and Ljubljana.

The rest of your trip sounds wonderful, too. It looks like at least some legs of the Eu trip were via plane, because you can't get to Greece without passing through at least two other countries you didn't mention.

[frankfrank3630]

To add a mini-note to my post, which would otherwise be buried above:

It would be great to see this thread come back to life. Looks like it was pretty active at one time.

[Lifter4ever34]

Hello, everyone.

Me: 5'8 170, competed in amateur all natural in 2018. Recently accepted my sexuality same year. Admitted I was quite attracted to other muscled guys but suppressed it/mired in self-hate for the longest.

[Lifter4ever34]

I'm gonna ask-

There's a gym in LA that I've been going to since 2018. Met a guy there and we really hit it off. I never saw him again and was desperately hoping he got on this forum. Caucasian gentleman, 5'10ish?, muscular. Showers.

Message me directly

[ukr1410]

Hello, everyone.

Me: 5'8 170, competed in amateur all natural in 2018. Recently accepted my sexuality same year. Admitted I was quite attracted to other muscled guys but suppressed it/mired in self-hate for the longest.

Hey. I'm so glad you came out and came to terms with your sexuality. I think self-hate can be especially prominent among more masculine men because they struggle to see how they could possibly be 'gay', and some don't even like to take that label.

[Lifter4ever34]

Hey. I'm so glad you came out and came to terms with your sexuality. I think self-hate can be especially prominent among more masculine men because they struggle to see how they could possibly be 'gay', and some don't even like to take that label.

That's so right. I grew up as an athlete. There's another self-hating actor/athlete guy in houston texas they i had to out because of that and his racism. The guy would talk dirty like a pornstar whenever we'd be alone then go back to straight/homophobic mode when there was a crowd. The guy called me a '*** **gger' after i responded to his actual sexual harassment, so i proceeded to put him on broadway! He became an internet sensation via social media. Was hilarious but completely justified. He cut his social media off for months. Then proceeded to get a girlfriend for the first time in his life @33 after being outed. Such are the consequences of being a self hating troll living a double life!

[bhujerban]

Hey hey. Not surprised that this group has practically dissolved. My posts from three or four years ago are still at the top of page 133, and it's the last page. Checking in on a Saturday because I'm bored, and have thought about doing so for a while now, wondering if any of my old contacts are still here.

I've made a number of changes to my life. Moved to Seattle in September 2020. Left my job at the church, retired from producing opera, but somehow ended up back in porn. LOL. I've now got two awards for my work from Ravens Eden (a minor but not unimportant awards committee). Working for Amazon, but still never found a replacement for Mark. And thank you for the sympathetic messages you've posted and sent me privately. A cuss on me for not replying. I just didn't want to deal with any of it and bring up the trauma again.
Got help for my mental health and grief issues last year. Actually managed to thrive during the initial Covid outbreaks - had a whole house to myself, and had money to support myself. I decided it was past time for a change, and one that *I* chose (as opposed to one that just happens to me).
When Covid finally f*cks off and the world reopens, I will love living here. This will provide the community I've been missing out on for years, and let me live my life the way I deserve to.

Going to Lost Angeles to shoot some adult films in three weeks. Things are looking up for me! Jerbs is gonna be okay. Eventually. [smiley emoji] Didn't one of us offer me a place to crash years ago if I was out that way? Was it LR3? I seem to think so, but like me, probably hasn't been here in ages.

And for those who were curious, the police investigation with Mark's murder went cold. They are simply not interested in the crimes that happen in the sub-cultures of the gay world. His son declined to follow up with them, so without the support of next-of-kin, they wouldn't act on my word alone. The son actually told them not to pursue because it won't bring Mark back. Shameful. But I'm not going to dwell on it. Time to build a Home Depot over it and move on.

One last thing - my bodybuilding has been successful. Never competed, though, but I've moved beyond that interest. Last summer, my weight got up to 200 lbs, and I had gained mostly muscle. Finally had a decent coach or two, and grew like a weed. All that quarantine time with no distractions really gave me time to focus.

[brodyman35]

i used to post here a lot; decades ago. then got banned. rejoined by this thread just isn't as much fun as it used to be. I remember MiamiSpartan, etc. those were the good days. this place is too tame now.

[emeliaroberts]

Hi) I'm just starting to play sports. My main goal is to tighten the body