KICKASS, 2012 ed.

[ArchAngel'73]

Good girl!

[cactusflower]

Good girl!

Thanks!!

Today Ihave some DOMS...I am sooo happy.

[pastorpritch]

Awesome work lately, keep it up!

[Vytis]

2014 IDFA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS & PRO UNIVERSE - NOVEMBER 22 .... it's not entirely 100% though. That's is what I am aiming for and shooting for and striving for and working my ass off for! I have wanted to compete FOREVER but the money always gets in the way....I think I have found a good way to do it on the "cheap".

Let's do it!

[cactusflower]

Awesome work lately, keep it up!

Thanks!!!

Let's do it!

Let's go!!!!!

LEGS!

It has been brought to my attention that doing my workouts along with my cardio in a fasted state will help the blubber get off me. So since I have the time, I hit the gym in the a.m. and do my cardio and workout for the day. This also allows me to shower once a day instead of two...yes, i may be at the gym fro 2 hours but int he end it's going to be worth it. Admittedly I was struggling BIG TIME with diet and staying on it. It's sy=uch a drastic change from what I was eating. To make it easier on myself, I have broken the journey down into smaller parts. Right now, I'm focusing on the next 4 weeks. Go hard, train hard, diet properly and in 4 weeks I better see some damn results!!!!!At this stage of the game I can't even see myself on stage in a barely there bikini with all my right muscles poppn'. However for the next 4 weeks....it's operation shed the blubber!

walking lunges
10x30 stepsx2
BWx30 stepsx1

BB Squat (ATG)
30x15x3 (I use BB that have the weight on them already. I find the huge 45lb bar sooooo awkward because it's so long!)

Standing 1 legged Ham Curl (i'm starting to love these)
25x15x2
30x15x1

Leg press wide stance
80x15x3 (I was so proud of this number!!!! I normally HATE leg press b/c it's so damn heavy...that's per side)

Super set
leg ext & seated ham curl
Leg ext
60x20x3

Seated ham curl
70x20x3

Then I proceed to do some HIIT on the stairmaster...it didn't go so well. I did 5 rounds 20 sec on, 10 sec off. Nope, next time I'm sticking to basics like high knees and jumping jacks lol)

[cactusflower]

EDIT!!!!! SInce my last post I have found an answer to my hiit dilemma.

A friend on bb.com (initials AA) suggested I add hiit to the end of my liss cardio b/c I have teh blubber to drop...which is fine...i'm ok with that b/c i want it gone too! However, my stumbling block was thinking of hiit or tabata workouts. PROBLEM SOLVED. I found an awesome website (dailyhiit.com) which used to be known as bodyrocktv.com and there are oodles and oodles of workouts for me to choose from! So I have figured out a way to get these workouts on my iPod so I can take them to the gym with me! My gym has several flights of stairs you have to take to get to the gym floor from the chnage rooms....after these workouts I may need use to the elevator!!!!)
I'm incoroporating this tomorow! WOOT!

[pastorpritch]

That's awesome, I'll be checking out that site, thanks for sharing!

[cactusflower]

FRUSTRATED!!!

Ugh! So I have this plan in my head that in about 3.5 months I'll be ready to stand on stage in a bikini and show off my stuff. AM I ****ING INSANE?!?!?!?!?! I have a good 40 lbs (maybe more) to lose. I know losing weight doesn't happen over night but I have to be honest and say that when I AM working out I get SOOOOO Frustated when I see the fat on my arms, my fat ass, the fat around my middle. I look at myself and honestly question WTF am i doing?! I feel like my diet is so low in everything it's hard to stay on it. But really and truly what gets me is when I see my reflection in the mirror and the fat....it makes me made and just frustrates me because I see how far I have to go. I can't see myself on stage in 3.5 months. Hell, I can't see myself in a bikini period in 3.5 months.
Do I wait until Jan/Feb/Mar when the next shows come around? Do I try to make it for 3.5 months?

On top of that I am having stomach issues again....damn acid reflux. Yes, it's because of stress. Stress of no job. And stress b/c my dad got some news from the doctor last week that I'm trying to not to think about but my dad has taken on worst case scenario thinking and thinks he has cancer and going to be dead soon (he's having trouble breathing and turns out one of his lungs is partially collapsed and he has a "tumor" (growth) he is having a bronchoscopy in a couple weeks...he was a heavy smoker for years....) so we don't know what it is, if anything at all ..... and although I'm trying to not worry about that ...it's hard when he's walking around thinking he's on death's door.
ARGH!!!!!!

[cactusflower]

Well seeing that yesterday was a $hitter of a day, today will be better. I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about what I want, where I want to go, how to get there. That's when it hit me it was time to pick up my law of attraction book again. Which I did and I read some of it and helped a lot.
This is my life and no one else's. I watched the documentary yesterday "I want to look like that guy"....makes you seriously think twice about competing. During my thoughts I decided to do something that may keep me from being ready to step on a stage in November or maybe not. I switched diets. I did it because the one that I was "following" and I say that loosely was so strict and so low in everything that I found it almost impossible to stay on. Now, I asked myself what;s the point of having a comp diet that I can't even stay on? So, I remembered I had another diet that is not so drastic (still a comp diet ) and will be easier for me to stay on. I figure if I can stay on this diet I'm going to see results a hell of a lot faster than not being able to stay on a diet and cheating all the time. The one I'm following now has more carbs in it, and yea I have a lot of fat to lose but i'll still be in a calorie deficit, and it's still clean and strict just not as bad as the other one. I'm still training fasted. I have heard that the best diet for you is the one you can follow/stay on. This is it. It got me here pretty damn fast:

Mind you, I didn't start as big as I am now but I saw results fast and I'm sure it was because I could stick to it. Sooooooo, that being said I am still running for it but I will not make myself insanely crazy like I did yesterday over it....it' snot worth it and there is always another show.

[securekey]

I am just reading both posts today. It's definitely not worth making yourself crazy over. You sound pretty frustrated in the first post... however low cals / carbs will do that to you

IMO You look great in the pictures above

[merchant2112]

WOW i haven't checked in in a while, you look fantastic in those photos....me i was officially made a non diabetic on the 27th.....

[cactusflower]

I am just reading both posts today. It's definitely not worth making yourself crazy over. You sound pretty frustrated in the first post... however low cals / carbs will do that to you

IMO You look great in the pictures above

Those pictures are OLD pictures...from 2008. I wish I looked liek that now!

[HoosierHardGain]

Happy August, Leanne. I think switching to a diet you are more likely to follow is a great idea. No use trying to use a tool that you won't be able to use.

[cactusflower]

Happy August, Leanne. I think switching to a diet you are more likely to follow is a great idea. No use trying to use a tool that you won't be able to use.

Thank you!!

[cactusflower]

So can I sneak in here and pretend I never left?!?!?!?


God, so much has happened since I last posted.

The quick and dirty - my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to have his left lung removed in September of 2014. Luckily he did not need chemo or radiation. My parents are in Italy right now vacationing. My dad's surgeon keeps a very close eye on him. I landed a new job at law firm not far from where I live and so far so good (I started in December 2014). I also have been seeing a therapist for quite some time now. A lot of things seemed to blow up in my face all at once and I just felt so lost. She has been amazing and I have made some amazing strides since seeing her.

My training has been on and off and my diet has been less than great. Something I have discovered is that a major part of my problem was comparing myself to to others. Even when I still looked great I thought I looked fat and gross because I didn't look like a fitness competitor. Then it just kept snowballing into more and more distorted thoughts. The way I looked was a huge part of my identity for a very long time. When that started to fade (or at least I thought it had) I just dug myself deeper into a hole. Even today I still have some trouble really seeing me vs what my mind tells me. It's a challenge. So I have come back here for a place of accountability. My workouts will probably be made up as I go along. My latest form of cardio is running , I live in a prime location to do so (on the water with a boardwalk that goes on forever). I recently ran an 8km leg of a relay race at a marathon with my co-workers and it felt amazing...a real accomplishment! I ran yesterday and my back just seized when I was running. It's been spasming since. I have pretty much been resting it today but may try to go for a short run later on. It's quite a stress reliever.
Anyway, my food choices are to be better, my thoughts to myself are to be better and I will STOP comparing myself to others. I was thinking this morning, when I'm in the gym, I train pretty hard and I don't back away from the weights. Yes I have put on weight and looking at myself in the mirror is discouraging. However if I cleaned up my food i think changes would bee seen relatively quickly. SO for this first week (today has been an off day) I will clean up my food and continue with my runs and then see what looks back at me in the mirror. Of course everything depends on how my back feels (i have acupuncture Friday - first appointment I could get). If running is out of the question then i'll try some at home workouts. Fingers crossed!!!!

Here's to being accountable and taking charge for myself.

[Marius_Ursus]

Good your dad had the cancer eliminated without that horror of chemo and radiation. You've been through a lot, and today is a new day.

Welcome back.

[cactusflower]

Good your dad had the cancer eliminated without that horror of chemo and radiation. You've been through a lot, and today is a new day.

Welcome back.

Thank you!

Yes, we (my mom and I ) are very grateful and thankful about my dad.

[cactusflower]

This week had been off to a $hitty start.

My back went "ACK" during my run on Saturday. Sunday I did a short 30 minute run and my back seemed to be ok. However Monday it was acting up again...took Robaxacet etc etc have acupuncture tomorrow to stop the spasms. I'm itching to get back at it but don't want to make myself worse.

Hope to have something posted soon!

[TadPole15]

hi.

[Marius_Ursus]

Feel better!

[cactusflower]

Hey all I'm back and better than I have been in a loooooong time. I have to date lost 31 lbs and could not be happier! I figure I probably have another 20-25 to go. Im stoked and it has mostly been changing my eating. Ramping up my workouts to get stronger and of course accelerate weight loss. So just wanted to share!!!!

[TadPole15]

hi.

[soopamyko]

Purple is cool.

[cactusflower]

Resurrecting this old thing! It's been forever and a day. Although I want to keep this lighthearted a fun, one of my last posts was about my dad's cancer. In April he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at home of complications from lung cancer. It turned my and my life upside down. TBH, I still can't believe it happened. It has been a struggle since then to get on with things. However, being a spiritual person I feel his presence and get signs from him which comforts me.

As for working out, it has been on again off again. With Corona I won't be going to a gym anytime soon (i'm in Toronto Canada) so I w/o with a PT 3x a week via zoom right now.

The point of this journal is to use it for support and accountability. Im working from home, so i;m always near a 'puter.

I'm sure many of the 'ol timers have long gone and moved on but I look forward to chatting with new and maybe some old peeps.

[cactusflower]

Quick workout post before I start work (12-8 ----> woot!)

woke up with a massive headache so no workout done. Plan is to get a workout min today/tonight. My condo is currently sitting at 29 degrees and its bloody hot lol.
My workout will most likely consist of the heavy resistance bands, DB and my SPRI foam workout dice.

details to follow .

[ArchAngel'73]

Welcome back!

You're right, many of the old timers have moved on but some are still here.
My condolences on the passing of your father. It does get better but it takes a lot of time to recover from that wound. Working out was my #1 source of therapy when mine passed.
Stick around this time L!

[cactusflower]

Welcome back!

You're right, many of the old timers have moved on but some are still here.
My condolences on the passing of your father. It does get better but it takes a lot of time to recover from that wound. Working out was my #1 source of therapy when mine passed.
Stick around this time L!

Well i'm glad you're still here

[cactusflower]

No workout yesterday....i ended up calling in sick...and felt like garbage. Hope today is better and I can get through the work day and do a workout.

I worked out with PT on Monday and wholly hell, I don't know what I did but my legs are killing me! Inner thighs, hams, quads and butt .... although I am shuffling around I still love the feeling of DOMS.

[cactusflower]

It dawned on me not too long that I, and I know I am not the only one, cannot see my own physical progress staring back at me.

I have had chronic migraines for years and nothing helped until I had a FST test (food sensitivities test). The results were astounding. I took out the culprit foods and guess what? The migraines went away. Obviously one of the other great side effects was weight loss. I had dropped probably 2 or 3 clothing sizes but couldn't see it. I still thought I looked the same. I started training for a half marathon and was having pain in my left upper glutes when I ran. I went to a physiotherapist and one of the things he did was record me running on the TM to analyze my gait, foot placement, cadence etc. I came across the video a few months ago and it was THEN i noticed the physical difference. Even when I first joined BB.com, I looked good (now I know) but at the time I didn't think so because I didn't look a competitor. Even training for the half, and running 10k's I always thought I wasn't good enough because I didn't run as fast as "so and so". Same type of thinking when I joined BB.com - because I didn't look like "so and so".
What will it take for us (and me) to notice our physical changes staring back at us in the mirror and enjoying those moments and be happy and proud of how we look and feel? Is social media to blame? Society? Advertisers? Ourselves? I don't know the answer, but I am going to try very hard to appreciate and notice my physical changes - how clothes fit is my measuring tool over the scale. If something in my closet that was once too tight, now fits or is too big...I have to realize and notice, change has happened. Same with if it's too tight/small and doesn't fit. It's always easier to focus on the negative. 2020 has been a s@it year on so many levels, however maybe taking the time to notice our progress and accomplishments will make it a bit brighter.

[HoosierHardGain]

hmmm...she looks familiar.

Great to see you!!