"Girls get approached 15 times per day" vs "most guys are too scared to approach"

[ol matey]

Which one is it? I've heard girls tell me that girls hardly ever get approached because the majority of guys are thinking the same thing "wow she probably gets approached all the time / I have no chance / approach anxiety / whatever", and many PUAs, such as the sticky in this RH section, that say "almost every guy does the same thing: goes to the mall, checks out a few hot girls, talks to their friends about how hot they are, go home without doing anything".

Then you hear ppl like Style & Mystery saying that girls, even average ones, get approached constantly, hence the need to say something out of the ordinary to stand out...

Which is it?

[nvrstopworking]

Depends entirely on how hot they are.

The 8s, 9s and 10s are likely the ones who NEVER get hit on (guys are too intimidated).

The 5s, 6s and 7s are likely the ones who have heard it all (since they're usually deemed "approachable").

[niosh]

It depends on how often they put themselves into the appropriate social setting.

If its a girl that goes out a ton clubbing, bars, etc she probably gets hit on a ton vs someone that only goes out for gym, groceries, book store or whatever.

[brenden87]

Depends entirely on how hot they are.

The 8s, 9s and 10s are likely the ones who NEVER get hit on (guys are too intimidated).

The 5s, 6s and 7s are likely the ones who have heard it all (since they're usually deemed "approachable").

I agree with this. I have an average friend who's been called 'babe' by a guy walking by, she's been asked for her number several times by random guys during the day, a random guy has come up to her and asked her out to the movies, etc.

When I hung out with a hot friend (real 8-9/10), she got a lot of stares but nobody approached her.

[brenden87]

It depends on how often they put themselves into the appropriate social setting.

If its a girl that goes out a ton clubbing, bars, etc she probably gets hit on a ton vs someone that only goes out for gym, groceries, book store or whatever.

The 9s who go clubbing get hit on all night because guys have liquid confidence.

[caliglow]

It depends on how often they put themselves into the appropriate social setting.

If its a girl that goes out a ton clubbing, bars, etc she probably gets hit on a ton vs someone that only goes out for gym, groceries, book store or whatever.

this is true. I pretty much only go out for gym/school/groceries/basic stuff and don't really ever get full on approached. Usually guys will just say some random comment/compliment and that's it. I definitely notice I get approached a lot more at concerts and stuff though. Living regular life, not so much.

[Mr Beer]

It depends on how often they put themselves into the appropriate social setting.

If its a girl that goes out a ton clubbing, bars, etc she probably gets hit on a ton vs someone that only goes out for gym, groceries, book store or whatever.

Bingo.

[nvrstopworking]

The 9s who go clubbing get hit on all night because guys have liquid confidence.

True enough there. Alcohol changes the game some.

I'm betting that the 7s still get WAY more hits than the 9s in that setting though.

[Onisac]

this is true. I pretty much only go out for gym/school/groceries/basic stuff and don't really ever get full on approached. Usually guys will just say some random comment/compliment and that's it. I definitely notice I get approached a lot more at concerts and stuff though. Living regular life, not so much.

Mind posting a picture of your face? That could explain a few things.

[brenden87]

True enough there. Alcohol changes the game some.

I'm betting that the 7s still get WAY more hits than the 9s in that setting though.

True, the 7s will get some liquid confident uglies hitting on them, as well as average and above average guys.

The 9s get approached by guys on the same level as them, as well as a sprinkle of uglies, average guys, etc.

[brenden87]

I remember when we all hung out (guys and girls) and this chick brought along a few ugly guys she knew.

They ended up hitting on all my chick friends, except for one girl who was the most attractive out of them all.

Then one of my chick friends who got hit on and is the most insecure and kinda ugly says to the most attractive one "you didn't get hit on".

I was lol'ing in my head.

edit - and this was daytime setting.

[jamestown0101]

Depends entirely on how hot they are.

The 8s, 9s and 10s are likely the ones who NEVER get hit on (guys are too intimidated).

The 5s, 6s and 7s are likely the ones who have heard it all (since they're usually deemed "approachable").

Very true. A female friend of mine through work did modeling. Now, she was not legal or I would have broke it off on her. She said she never had a bf and guys never give her the time of day. A lot of really pretty girls intimiate a lot of men. Worse, a lot of these women see themselves poorly too, and carry insecurities which is mind blowing had a guy just gone up to her.

[brenden87]

Very true. A female friend of mine through work did modeling. Now, she was not legal or I would have broke it off on her. She said she never had a bf and guys never give her the time of day. A lot of really pretty girls intimiate a lot of men. Worse, a lot of these women see themselves poorly too, and carry insecurities which is mind blowing had a guy just gone up to her.

Yeah my ugly friend managed to make my attractive friend feel like sh!t.

[Stankus]

Here's the deal. I used to think about this a lot too. I've been into "the game" for about a year and a half now. Doing cold approaches, etc, etc. And here's the general consensus of those in the community:

Most guys DO NOT approach women. AT ALL. The uglier ones get approached a little more, but that's about it. The reason Mystery says that girls get approached a lot is because The Mystery Method is focussed on club game. (for you newbies there is a difference between Club Game and Day Game). At the clubs girls DO get approached, because everyone is drinking and everyone knows that everyone is there to meet someone and hopefully smash. But as someone already said, it's typically just liquid courage.

Day game is different. I've asked many girls about it, and I can tell you even from experience that most guys do NOT approach girls during the day. If you have the skills and the balls to go up and chat up a girl, and HOLD that conversation with her for at least a few minutes, then you have seperated yourself from 95% of guys (probably even more).

I always joke about it when I first call a girl and she says, "Who is this?" I always say, "Wow, you had that many guys approach you today that you already forgot who I am?" And they usually say, "Not even!!!" A typical 9/10 or 10/10 will tell you that she doesn't get approached that much. And you will find that the 9/10s are way nicer than the 6/10s or the 7/10s. If you do a cold approach on a group of girls the uglier one/s will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be more defensive. I seriously shat my pants when I first started doing cold approaches because the hot girls were so much nicer. They always are. The uglier ones know that you probably want their hotter friend more. Anyways, I'm going a little off topic...

Basically what I'm saying here is that a girl will like it a lot if you have the balls to approach her.

[heretomorrow]

Stankus is right in pretty much everything he says.

I have said this before on this forum but I'm going to say it again. Hot girls do not get approached. When I say hot I am not talking slutty hot, i.e. the type of girl you look at and instant boner. But rather the truly heavenly blessed. They are not approached. I am female, I have insight in to all this sh*t. I have 2 friends in particular who I've had since high school, both these bitches could be runway models. not the freakish type of models, but seriously people will gawk at them for their beauty, type models.

One of them is dating a footballer which sounds impressive at first, but hold on he is like 3 inches shorter than her. And he's ginger and he looks like he's 15. That sounds mean as hell but it's the truth.

The other one is single and has been since we were in high school save for like one 18 month period. And high school was 5 years ago. yes srs. And she doesn't have 1 night stands etc from what I know.

VERSUS

A totally different group of friends, who I met at uni, and these girls range from 4 - 6/10 by Misc standards. and these girls literally have strings of guys they are banging and constantly dating simultaneously etc etc. I can't even keep up with their antics. One girl in particular (she is a chubber) has slept with 8 guys this year alone. She's 24. I know Misc is always like "Girls bang 100s of dudes", but actually no they don't. 8 in 1 year is mega slut zone at this age. And this chick is srs like a 4.5/10, would be a 5 but she's fat.

So what I'm saying is this:

ugly to average = lots of sex/dating
hot = minimal sex/dating

So hot chicks are GENERALLY SPEAKING (exceptions to every rule, ofc) more starved of male interaction than you think.

Now here's something more I will just add, in my own experience:-

When I go out looking average, i.e. straight after gym, no make-up, not dressed up, I will have guys sometimes strike up conversation etc. Not always but sometimes.

When I am dressed up, wearing makeup, heels etc., this never ever happens. BUT the difference is lots of guys stare. But none of them approach/initiate conversation.

The moral of the story is: the hotter a girl looks, the more likely she will desperately fall in to your arms if you actually have the balls to talk to her.

/thesis

[RoWdY_RuFf_BoY]

It's already been discussed but I'll add my view.

Day Game is an absolute joke. 95% or even more of guys simply don't do it. So if you have the testicular fortitude to approach and say hi, you leapfrog 95% of your competition.

If your talking about girls getting approached all the time in a 'safe' environment, then yes. Safe meaning places like the workplace, universities, clubs, pubs, lounges, pool halls etc. Again, these places have people who are more open to meeting someone new because of the perceived perception of these environments. That's why you got guys and girls who want to pick up, suggest going to a club/bar etc.

[stefano445]

Does this mean you should have a higher success rate with 8/10+ if you approach them at day vs a bar/club?

[FunSize1990]

Met my current at the supermarket, She had just come out of an important meeting, 6 inch heels, Super pencil thin skirt, Red short cleavage blouse. Was literally impossible not to stare, She told me she had never been approached in the day which was why she said yes when i literally drooled while asking her to see a play i just happened to have two tickets to (Was a bitch getting those tickets on short notice)

She has a group of attractive friends that are all single, never get hit on, never get approached. They are all successful and smart. Blows my mind that an entire demographic of women are being ignored whilst the uglys are being multiplied on. Anyway... Food for thought.

[sococo1]

agree with heretomorrow. a couple of my friends flatmates (4/10s) slept with 13 guys each in first year at uni. i cant work out if its cause they know they're 3's so lap up the attention, or if they genuinely think they're 9/10's and sleeping with all these guys confirms they can get who they want. in UK if you cold approached a hot girl outside of a club/bar she would probably think it a bit strange tbh, but the 4/10's would love it.

[kickblake]

20% of men are monopololzing 80% of the pussy. So basically the same small group of guys runs game on every girl above a 2/10 while the rest of the guys do nothing.


in other words: its both.

[Scorer]

I have heard BOTH from hot female friends... and I believe both to be true.

But there is another major factor to consider here beyond looks... the girl's demeanor.

My friend Michelle says she gets approached three times an hour when she walks down the street in Manhattan... she is always smiling and has open body language.

My friend Carrie says she hasn't gotten approached in 5 years... she always has her arms crossed and the natural expression on her face is that of a bitch.

Both are 9's. And jakes on you, the one who looks like a b*tch is actually a nicer person.

Cliffs: Girls, if you want to be approached, look happy.

[Ssibi]

first off, PUA *******s make me sick. why the **** do you need a science for attracting someone? coming up with terms like "cold approach" just means you fail at being yourself to pick up girls/have no game whatsoever, so you have to resort to coming up with a "science" or using someone elses "method" in order to compensate. the only part i really agree with are indicators of interest, but thats just common sense. If a girl is staring at your lips, playing with her hair and making intense eye contact, you'd have to be really inexperienced or stupid not to go for the kill.


on topic, theres a hottie i met (8/10) messaged her a couple days ago and this is how it went (note - there is mutual attraction, because im not a socially awkward ****, so i wasnt afraid of failing which helps in being direct)

me: Hey whats up
her: Heyy just relaxing a bit. Youu?
me: Chillin, but we should grab a bite. You're fun and sexy but we never got a chance to talk much. I haven't forgotten about you
her: Lol fun and sexy?? Best compliment in a while. When are you free?

well, well, what a surprise - random hot bish isnt used to compliments, throw one in and bam - date.

basically, just be yourself and don't worry about who's approaching her. If there are 15 guys approaching her, spitting game, buying her ****, feeding her desire for attention, why the hell is she gonna ignore them and go for the guy who doesn't even seem to be interested?? don't blow up her phone, subtly drop hints that your interest in her exists and try to draw her in -- im a dick to girls, i like teasing them, it makes them feel comfortable and gives me a slight douchebag vibe which doesn't hurt, not to mention that when i compliment them it means a lot more because im not just throwing them her way everytime she counts to 10.

now get the **** back to reading your ****ty pickup books while i actually just TALK TO A ****ING GIRL and have more success.

[DrunkNinjaMastr]

Smoking hot chicks cause guys to lose their ****ing minds. This is really what it boils down to. I dated this really hot latina chick with double d tits, and she was almost always the hottest person in the room when we went out. She never ever had normal desirable guys come up to her and approach. It was always the ****ing weird guys, or the guys that would go straight sexual and tell her all the nasty **** they would do to her right of the bat. She got eye balled, cat called, drunk guys trying to look cool on bros night out would yell sexual comments at her from across the street, even got a few offers from old dudes looking for a sugar momma - but it was never the cool, handsome, confident guy that would go up to her and talk to her like a normal person. These girls have an innate desire to feel some sense of normalcy in their lives, because they almost never get it. If you just make idle chit chat, treat her like she is in your circle of friends, flirt, and escalate when needed, you will already have a leg up on the majority of your competition.

[kineticforce]

Smoking hot chicks cause guys to lose their ****ing minds. This is really what it boils down to. I dated this really hot latina chick with double d tits, and she was almost always the hottest person in the room when we went out. She never ever had normal desirable guys come up to her and approach. It was always the ****ing weird guys, or the guys that would go straight sexual and tell her all the nasty **** they would do to her right of the bat. She got eye balled, cat called, drunk guys trying to look cool on bros night out would yell sexual comments at her from across the street, even got a few offers from old dudes looking for a sugar momma - but it was never the cool, handsome, confident guy that would go up to her and talk to her like a normal person. These girls have an innate desire to feel some sense of normalcy in their lives, because they almost never get it. If you just make idle chit chat, treat her like she is in your circle of friends, flirt, and escalate when needed, you will already have a leg up on the majority of your competition.

posted this a ~year ago(http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=124294321)

just want to post some stuff to emphasize the bolded

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencete...-hormones.html

A racing pulse and sweaty palms are well known as the signs of instant attraction.

Now research shows that for men just five minutes spent alone with a beautiful stranger causes so much stress it may be bad for the heart.

The effects are worst for men who might think they are not “in the same league” as the woman now sharing their space but still try to attract her interest, scientists claim.

For those men, their anxiety rate is said to be similar to jumping from an aircraft. Their cortisol levels rise even higher, bringing on the possibility of heart attacks and strokes.

It is the sort of extreme stress portrayed by Dudley Moore when encountering statuesque Bo Derek in the movie 10.

While he eventually got the girl, reality can be more painful, say experts at the University of Valencia in Spain.

‘Exposure to physical or psychological stresses for a long period of time may cause chronically elevated cortisol levels.

'That can have adverse effects on health as it worsens various disorders, such as myopathy, adult-onset diabetes, hypertension and impotency,’ said the research team.

They paid 84 male students £10 each to take part in an experiment – approved by the Faculty of Psychology’s ethical committee – which measured their cortisol levels before and after they had been left alone with a stranger.

The men, who had been told to avoid alcohol and other stimulants for 24 hours, were led to a room and given a Sudoko puzzle to solve.

Each one presumed the other two people in the room were a researcher and another student guinea pig.

When the researcher left the room – on the pretence of getting another puzzle – the other two were left alone.

The researchers discovered that cortisol levels stayed the same when two men were together but rose when a man was left alone with what was perceived as an attractive woman.

They measured cortisol, which is secreted by the adrenal glands, by taking mouth swabs and saliva samples from the volunteers.

The team concluded: ‘In this study we considered that for most men the presence of an attractive woman may induce the perception that there is an opportunity for courtship.

'While some men might avoid attractive women since they might think they are “out of their league’’, the majority would respond with apprehension and a concurrent hormonal response.

‘This study showed that male cortisol levels increased after exposure to a five-minute short social contact with a young attractive woman. It provides evidence that interpersonal interaction can influence the secretion of cortisol.’

There are times when cortisol does have benefits. Small increases give quick bursts of energy for survival and pain endurance. But in high quantities it can lead to stress-related changes – and danger.

tl'dr

cliffs
======
- Men produce more cortisol when in the vicinity of a hotty
- They put a dude in a room with a hotty, while she was there high cortisol levels
- she left he was back to normal
- being around attractive women = death (according to doctors) (sorry brahs no dimes)
- cortisol level rose cause he was attracted to female, and possibility for courtship
- you discuss this ..............

[DrunkNinjaMastr]

posted this a ~year ago(http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=124294321)

just want to post some stuff to emphasize the bolded




tl'dr

cliffs
======
- Men produce more cortisol when in the vicinity of a hotty
- They put a dude in a room with a hotty, while she was there high cortisol levels
- she left he was back to normal
- being around attractive women = death (according to doctors) (sorry brahs no dimes)
- cortisol level rose cause he was attracted to female, and possibility for courtship
- you discuss this ..............

Good ****. I guess when you consider yourself a 9.75648/10, it's less of a cortisol spike around hotties.