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  1. #1
    Registered User crazylad29's Avatar
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    My guide to immortality

    Quit all caffiene

    quit all high sugar foods, espcially soft drinks

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    quit tap water, buy a distiller or a reverse osmosis system, flouride nd many other chemical, also the dirt and **** that is in ur water kills u

    take protein shakes

    quit fast foods

    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    or on the opposite, make sure u get enough sleep

    eat enough fruit/veg

    do stretches every morning

    take cold showers

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time

    throw out your microwave

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
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  2. #2
    Unregistered User StrongRepublican's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    Quit all caffiene

    quit all high sugar foods, espcially soft drinks

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    quit tap water, buy a distiller or a reverse osmosis system, flouride nd many other chemical, also the dirt and **** that is in ur water kills u

    take protein shakes

    quit fast foods

    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    or on the opposite, make sure u get enough sleep

    eat enough fruit/veg

    do stretches every morning

    take cold showers

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time

    throw out your microwave

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
    Lol @ a 16 yr old's guide to "immortality." Strong irony ITT
    Eat Less, Exercise More, Repeat Forever
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  3. #3
    crocodile tears brendbro's Avatar
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    you forgot 'stop masturbating', sh!t will kill you
    PhD year 4
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  4. #4
    Back To Wreck Shyt!! Siafu4Life's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time
    If I'm immortal, how relevant is the time that television will waste?

    *Edit* - And I'll continue to watch ESPN, and take my chances. Thanks.
    Second Bulk Underway...

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    10/01 -

    Follow my evolution @ http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139784033
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  5. #5
    Registered User FallenEngel's Avatar
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    Squatznoatz
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  6. #6
    Glutes... they are back Cumulonimbus's Avatar
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    facepalm
    Just a weight lifter
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  7. #7
    Boomer Sooner PhiSig2298's Avatar
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    Sticky Material
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  8. #8
    Putzomorph lovingit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    quit alchohol
    quit porn
    Stopped reading after these.
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  9. #9
    For the lulz HeavyMetalLover's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    Quit all caffiene

    quit all high sugar foods, espcially soft drinks

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    quit tap water, buy a distiller or a reverse osmosis system, flouride nd many other chemical, also the dirt and **** that is in ur water kills u

    take protein shakes

    quit fast foods

    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    or on the opposite, make sure u get enough sleep

    eat enough fruit/veg

    do stretches every morning

    take cold showers

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time

    throw out your microwave

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
    [Watdo?] - Want (''should'' for you naggers) bulk.

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  10. #10
    LvL 99 jimmy Rustler vitornoob's Avatar
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    Should be sticky !!!
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  11. #11
    Mother Pho Ga phal's Avatar
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    Forgot:

    Quit posting.
    Sheiko? My journey to 1,500+ @ 165

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  12. #12
    Registered User axxlef's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    Quit all caffiene

    quit all high sugar foods, espcially soft drinks

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    quit tap water, buy a distiller or a reverse osmosis system, flouride nd many other chemical, also the dirt and **** that is in ur water kills u

    take protein shakes

    quit fast foods

    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    or on the opposite, make sure u get enough sleep

    eat enough fruit/veg

    do stretches every morning

    take cold showers

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time

    throw out your microwave

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
    if you quit all these things you will not live forever,but it will sure as hell feel like it
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  13. #13
    Banned ANIMALISTIKZ's Avatar
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    immortality exist guise
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  14. #14
    Registered User AlmostDecent's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    Quit all caffeine

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    take protein shakes

    do stretches every morning

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
    As pointed out, it is quite ironic having a 16-year-old starting a "Guide to Immortality". Here's a tip from someone who is a bit further down the road: don't go overboard on the extremes or absolutes (except for the smoking), in life you will be far better served by learning and applying moderation. Of course, in some cases you may feel that you are unable to exercise genuine moderation, or soon lose control, in which case an extreme may be your best solution, but overall my advice is to live a little, and instead cultivate the discipline to use moderation in most of the things above.

    Oh, and yes, there is one really glaring item missing:

    Exercise one hour every day.
    Truth hurts, but ignorance hurts more.
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  15. #15
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    You forgot to add "no carbs after 6pm".

    Seriously OP, you're off to a bad start, but thanks for the laughs.
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  16. #16
    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PhiSig2298 View Post
    Sticky Material
    Especially the porn part... Hayooo!
    The power of carbs compels me!
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  17. #17
    Mr. Fahrenheit ThePinsir's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    Quit all caffiene

    quit all high sugar foods, espcially soft drinks

    quit smoking

    quit alchohol

    quit porn, ****s up ur reward circuit nerve system yourbrainonporn.com

    quit tap water, buy a distiller or a reverse osmosis system, flouride nd many other chemical, also the dirt and **** that is in ur water kills u

    take protein shakes

    quit fast foods

    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    or on the opposite, make sure u get enough sleep

    eat enough fruit/veg

    do stretches every morning

    take cold showers

    throw out ur tv as it just wastes time

    throw out your microwave

    now everybody feel free to disagree, or even to add to the list
    why cold showers and microwave?
    Work like a slave. Eat like a king. Sleep like a baby. Look like a GOD.

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  18. #18
    brass monkey SoulZeppelin's Avatar
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    OP should throw out his computer. He missed that on his list.
    Clear eyes, full heart: can't lose.

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  19. #19
    Registered User sepul^'s Avatar
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    Drinking distilled water or water that has been treated with by reverse osmosis will be detrimental to your health. Having said that, I have recently and unofficially heard from a reliable source of organophosphates (a class of pesticide) being found in (very low quantities) in drinking water of a wealthy western country.

    Point on moderation by AlmostDecent - I half agree. It's often spouted that moderation with everything is a healthy way of life, but in reality this is only true for some things (alcohol is one of them, and dependent on your genetic predispositions to cancer and heart disease). For example, eating fast food in moderation isn't going to benefit your health.
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  20. #20
    Registered User TomBremner's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by brendbro View Post
    you forgot 'stop masturbating', sh!t will kill you
    lies, it makes you go blind!
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  21. #21
    Registered User TomBremner's Avatar
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    OP, seriously, GTFO. This is seriously the most epic fail i'v ever seen. EVER.
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  22. #22
    Registered User axxlef's Avatar
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    just realised i do just about everything on that list that im not supposed to WHEN WILL I DIE?
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  23. #23
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    Most important step...you gotta collect them heads.

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  24. #24
    Registered User AlmostDecent's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sepul^ View Post
    Point on moderation by AlmostDecent - I half agree. It's often spouted that moderation with everything is a healthy way of life, but in reality this is only true for some things (alcohol is one of them, and dependent on your genetic predispositions to cancer and heart disease). For example, eating fast food in moderation isn't going to benefit your health.
    Since I clearly stated not everything was benefited by moderation, and gave a clear example, I'm not sure what your point is. As to fast food, I disagree. A person's health is not merely biomechanical and occasional fast food will certainly not do any harm to his physical health. Since the OP will be flooded (and already has) with a list of DOs and DO NOTs, the majority of which are as wrong as pointless, they will actually detract from his well-being in life. You can already see the signs in his list, with no fast food, no high-sugar, and of course a believed requirement to drink protein shakes. These exclusions and inclusions are completely unnecessary. If he decides to break his self-imposed rules, by eating a sundae, or enjoying a cheeseburger, he will suffer from feelings of guilt which are a great way to acquire an eating disorder.
    Truth hurts, but ignorance hurts more.
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  25. #25
    Banned juliacheh's Avatar
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    wtf do people need this immortality for?
    brb I's rather die at 50 with a young lover in bed than live till 70 will full blown dementia.
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    Protein bar nightcap? desslok's Avatar
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    This is almost stupid enough to be a yahoo health article.
    Superbus est, qui loquitur in prouerbiis Latinis.
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    I'd rather remain a mortal and continue doing all these super fun things!
    Best looking NMiscer.
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    Originally Posted by juliacheh View Post
    wtf do people need this immortality for?
    brb I's rather die at 50 with a young lover in bed than live till 70 will full blown dementia.
    Abso-f*cking-lutey. Could not agree more!
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    Cool

    Originally Posted by crazylad29 View Post
    never sleep in, wake up when ur body tells u too.
    LOL. that's what "sleeping in" is. waking up w/o an alarm & going back to bed if you're still tired & require more sleep before you begin your day off.

    you so crazy.

    you better not tell me to quit daggers. i fukin' love 'em, brah!
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    Originally Posted by AlmostDecent View Post
    Since I clearly stated not everything was benefited by moderation, and gave a clear example, I'm not sure what your point is. As to fast food, I disagree. A person's health is not merely biomechanical and occasional fast food will certainly not do any harm to his physical health. Since the OP will be flooded (and already has) with a list of DOs and DO NOTs, the majority of which are as wrong as pointless, they will actually detract from his well-being in life. You can already see the signs in his list, with no fast food, no high-sugar, and of course a believed requirement to drink protein shakes. These exclusions and inclusions are completely unnecessary. If he decides to break his self-imposed rules, by eating a sundae, or enjoying a cheeseburger, he will suffer from feelings of guilt which are a great way to acquire an eating disorder.
    I'm afraid not. You said most of the things above, and gave the one exception of smoking. I was just articulating what you were not able to or chose not to. Your attempt to draw a connection between cheeseburger guilt and eating disorders is making you look a bit silly. Although I do agree that the mental aspect to health is probably under-appreciated, but no doubt most people will use this as an excuse to justify their weak will power and indulge more often than they ought to.

    juliacheh and the others - That's all well and good, but if something ever goes wrong with your body before you reach 50 you would have wished that you looked after your health. Then once you get to 50 you'll realise that you still feel like a 25 year old and want to keep on living. Without health you don't have much, so be wise, use some foresight and appreciate it while you've got it.
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