ITT: Breakup advice - What I have learned LONG

[nykiegin]

Works both ways, trait of human nature. This is geared towards a male dominated population (this forum). Don't turn it into something around sexism.

Agree it goes both ways.

Ok, so long as other people get that, but a lot don't. Lots of vulnerable young minds come here for genuine guidance.

[musclepope]

Great post, really helped, thanks OP! No contact is amazing however, how do you maintain no contact when you seriously/heavily emotionally dated a girl in small office and broke up (it's been 2-3 weeks now), It's small open area so it's damn near impossible to not have her in visual sight. When I am outside of work, I can maintain no contact, deleted number, and all steps however having to see her almost every day really sets me back to square one, even if I am ignoring her, that ignoring forces me to think about her, when I ignore her she approaches me and finds an excuse to talk to me and I cannot report her to HR because she is a good person, I tell her we are strangers and that lasts for couple of days before we end up chatting, it's like a cycle of ignoring for a day then talk, ignore talk, etc, almost childish. It's difficult to concentrate on work too and I cannot leave that work since it's my career. What do you bro's recommend?

[ryankoch]

i pm'd you thanks, but seriously this is the best post i have ever seen on the misc. I found it after I had already been drinking sorrows away, posting on her ******** etc.. but thats done now. would poverty rep you for life. well done good sir

[ryankoch]

this should be a sticky for real

[_Roidz_]

Glad its still helping people many years after its creation!

[Jasonw1178]

Agreed on should be a sticky. These rules are what's best for you in the long run.

My ex and I have been on again off again for 7 years. Last time we split, I told her she needed to date someone else for a while. If she's not, she will come right back to me and I just can't help but let her in. So when she started talking to this guy, I basically coached her through it so she wouldn't flip out on him or freak him out. She's doing to him what she did to me, except she's not demanding as much from him as she did me, which pisses me off honestly. It's been a backdoor way for me to basically tell her how I felt about things in a way she can understand. I don't mind helping a little, because it keeps her off me, but some of the things I hear I'm really thinking it's going to make sure I don't ever let her come back. It's like I'm getting a real inside view into her head what she thinks about things I didn't see in the relationship. Every time he doesn't text her or call her within a few hours, she starts thinking he's gone NC on her, and that it's already over, starts getting upset. She told me how she was concerned he was losing interest because they didn't have sex that night. She new he had been up since 5am the morning before. She then admitted they had sex that evening and then twice the following morning. So basically, if you aren't constantly talking to her, you are forgetting about her, if you aren't constantly banging her then you aren't attracted to her anymore. Strong validation. Then she gets all mad (but won't admit it) because I'm banging this girl she used to hang out with. Strong jealocy complex.

[Airmaster360]

This thread is great

[WestOz]

16. Always have two in the kitty aka a backup girl

[1320it]

Asd

[DSyminton]

Amazing advice here guys. I actually cannot believe at my age I'm here... 42 yrs old and still suffer from heartbreak.
seeing a girl, 33 yrs old. Thought something wasn't right. Got hold of a long term microphone recorder and placed it behind radiator in her room. ****ty thing to do eh? No regrets though as on checking it I heard her video calling/sexting her "guy friend".
Needless to say **** hit the fan. She was supposed to be my future wife and mother of my child... bullet dodged by my f*cking god heartbreak hurts the same, regardless of age.
No contact..... here we go..... Dan Bilzerian has the right idea bros......

[Imnew1]

Agreed on should be a sticky. These rules are what's best for you in the long run.

My ex and I have been on again off again for 7 years. Last time we split, I told her she needed to date someone else for a while. If she's not, she will come right back to me and I just can't help but let her in. So when she started talking to this guy, I basically coached her through it so she wouldn't flip out on him or freak him out. She's doing to him what she did to me, except she's not demanding as much from him as she did me, which pisses me off honestly. It's been a backdoor way for me to basically tell her how I felt about things in a way she can understand. I don't mind helping a little, because it keeps her off me, but some of the things I hear I'm really thinking it's going to make sure I don't ever let her come back. It's like I'm getting a real inside view into her head what she thinks about things I didn't see in the relationship. Every time he doesn't text her or call her within a few hours, she starts thinking he's gone NC on her, and that it's already over, starts getting upset. She told me how she was concerned he was losing interest because they didn't have sex that night. She new he had been up since 5am the morning before. She then admitted they had sex that evening and then twice the following morning. So basically, if you aren't constantly talking to her, you are forgetting about her, if you aren't constantly banging her then you aren't attracted to her anymore. Strong validation. Then she gets all mad (but won't admit it) because I'm banging this girl she used to hang out with. Strong jealocy complex.

I enjoyed the OP advice in this thread too and I know this is an old post, but man the stuff posted from the guy above is pathetic and the antithesis of what anybody should do with their ex. Coaching them in their new relationship where they’re fking somebody else, letting them have the grass is greener syndrome and can come back when they’re done, but I win bc I fked her friend? Wow that sounds awful and disrespecting yourself all around.

[Luc1fer]

pretty good post from a 20 year old

29 year old

[Skezo]

I enjoyed the OP advice in this thread too and I know this is an old post, but man the stuff posted from the guy above is pathetic and the antithesis of what anybody should do with their ex. Coaching them in their new relationship where they’re fking somebody else, letting them have the grass is greener syndrome and can come back when they’re done, but I win bc I fked her friend? Wow that sounds awful and disrespecting yourself all around.

Seems like he is doing what some women try to do and keep their ex in their life through obsecure excuses just if they decided they want them back.
I'm sure he told her he was hitting her friend too to intentionally make her jealous.

[KevinLifts27]

Hey Brahs,

Long time lurker here. My GF of 2 years just dumped me yesterday out of the blue.

I thought everything was great until it hit me yesterday morning. Recently she's been more avoidant (not texting as much, no calls, etc.) and just told me she's been stressed and busy due to moving during CoVID. Yesterday she told me that the romance has been long gone and that I'm not her life partner. She even admits that the relationship wasn't bad at all and was very fun but "due to a gut feeling" she needs to break up.

She wants to "Still be friends" and says that "maybe one day in the future it'll be the right time" but lol **** that, I'm not going to be waiting here for you to come back, that's pathetic. It's hard but it will happen. I didn't act like a simp when she wanted to break up, just said "fine" and let her talk herself out.

I really don't know how this happened. When we first dated she told her friends she found "The one" and I had her wrapped around my finger,... recently she kept using "CoVID" as the excuse for not hanging out (we've only seen each other once a month for the past 3 months) and I feel like an idiot for believing everything. She said the feelings aren't the same compared to her ex (but her ex is fat af & cheated on her) so that's been ****ing with me a lot.

I just have to work on myself and completely forget about her.

TLDR; Girlfriend of 2 years in a happy relationship dumps me out the blue due to a "gut feeling".

[CityJaeger]

Hey Brahs,

Long time lurker here. My GF of 2 years just dumped me yesterday out of the blue.

I thought everything was great until it hit me yesterday morning. Recently she's been more avoidant (not texting as much, no calls, etc.) and just told me she's been stressed and busy due to moving during CoVID. Yesterday she told me that the romance has been long gone and that I'm not her life partner. She even admits that the relationship wasn't bad at all and was very fun but "due to a gut feeling" she needs to break up.

She wants to "Still be friends" and says that "maybe one day in the future it'll be the right time" but lol **** that, I'm not going to be waiting here for you to come back, that's pathetic. It's hard but it will happen. I didn't act like a simp when she wanted to break up, just said "fine" and let her talk herself out.

I really don't know how this happened. When we first dated she told her friends she found "The one" and I had her wrapped around my finger,... recently she kept using "CoVID" as the excuse for not hanging out (we've only seen each other once a month for the past 3 months) and I feel like an idiot for believing everything. She said the feelings aren't the same compared to her ex (but her ex is fat af & cheated on her) so that's been ****ing with me a lot.

I just have to work on myself and completely forget about her.

TLDR; Girlfriend of 2 years in a happy relationship dumps me out the blue due to a "gut feeling".

You're an imbecile and a fool for having believed all of her lies.

You know what ? I hate incels, I think they're miserable, self-wallowing kunts but they're right about one thing : If this was Chad or another man she had high interest level in, she would jump through hoops of fires and crawl on broken glass just to see him.

The writing has been on the wall for 3 months but you chose to ignore the red flags : If a girl doesn't put much effort into seeing then it's over. It was already over back then , it was just made official yesterday.

Now take some time to mourn the relation, vent to your entourage, feel miserable but never ever talk to her again : she's history, she's dead to you, just another stranger you used to know.

[Droopdx]

Needed this. Going through a breakup right now. Have dog together, and she’s keeping him since she wfh and I don’t. I also have all my family here and she has nobody, so it makes the decision easy for me.

The thought of not having my pup greet me when I get home, and him napping on my lap after the park makes me sick to my stomach.

[Imnew1]

Needed this. Going through a breakup right now. Have dog together, and she’s keeping him since she wfh and I don’t. I also have all my family here and she has nobody, so it makes the decision easy for me.

The thought of not having my pup greet me when I get home, and him napping on my lap after the park makes me sick to my stomach.

You'll be alright man. Whatever you do, don't use the dog as any excuse for you to contact her or her to contact you. Women are pretty good at stringing along exes to keep friendship or contact and use the dog as an excuse. My ex did that to her ex bf that she had a puppy yorkie with. Poor chump wasted a year of his life thinking he would get back with her. As soon as she and I started dating she just gave away the dog to her neighbor so she could have her fun with me. Damn I dated such a self centered narcissist. Good luck man!

[Droopdx]

You'll be alright man. Whatever you do, don't use the dog as any excuse for you to contact her or her to contact you. Women are pretty good at stringing along exes to keep friendship or contact and use the dog as an excuse. My ex did that to her ex bf that she had a puppy yorkie with. Poor chump wasted a year of his life thinking he would get back with her. As soon as she and I started dating she just gave away the dog to her neighbor so she could have her fun with me. Damn I dated such a self centered narcissist. Good luck man!

Thanks. We’re on good terms, but I’m going to let her know that when she moves out that I don’t want pictures, snapchats, or texts about our dog. Nothing personal, that’s the only way I’ll be able to move on. My family loves her. I’m going to tell them they can hang out with her and the dog whenever, but I don’t want to know about it or hear about it at all. She’s a great dog mom, and she will give him a better life than I can right now.

[beebell12]

Sigh