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  1. #31
    Registered User fiftycent's Avatar
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    almost

    i almost got caught. well i was watching wrestling smack down on cable. and then lita vs torrie wilson came on, and as you do i felt the urge to have a bit of a go at their presence. torrie wilson got her shirt ripped off so i went for it hard........a little too hard. and i felt my load starting to come out. i was in my bedroom and was panicing. so i got up and started to run for the bathroom, with my hand over my cock. i could feel my hand getting warm from fuking cum so i was running quick. and just as i was about to get in the bathroom i blew my load on the hallway floor, i could hear my parents watching ER i think it was at the time in the lounge room and i was praying that the commercials didn't come on. so with the bathroom door open wiping down my dick and hands and flushing stuff down the toilet i kept looking over my shoulder at the big ass load in the middle of the hallway hoping that no one got up. i grabbed anything, i think it was my towel and wiped it all up. and now everytime the sun comes through the window in the afternoon u can see a big gizzz stain on the floor. but no one is the wiser.
    thats my story

  2. #32
    Registered User Degaussed's Avatar
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    Re: almost

    Originally posted by fiftycent
    i almost got caught. well i was watching wrestling smack down on cable. and then lita vs torrie wilson came on, and as you do i felt the urge to have a bit of a go at their presence. torrie wilson got her shirt ripped off so i went for it hard........a little too hard. and i felt my load starting to come out. i was in my bedroom and was panicing. so i got up and started to run for the bathroom, with my hand over my cock. i could feel my hand getting warm from fuking cum so i was running quick. and just as i was about to get in the bathroom i blew my load on the hallway floor, i could hear my parents watching ER i think it was at the time in the lounge room and i was praying that the commercials didn't come on. so with the bathroom door open wiping down my dick and hands and flushing stuff down the toilet i kept looking over my shoulder at the big ass load in the middle of the hallway hoping that no one got up. i grabbed anything, i think it was my towel and wiped it all up. and now everytime the sun comes through the window in the afternoon u can see a big gizzz stain on the floor. but no one is the wiser.
    thats my story
    ROFLMAO!! OH MY DAMN! dude, that's the funniest **** I've ever read in my life!

  3. #33
    Registered User FromTheGrave's Avatar
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    Re: Re: almost

    Originally posted by Diggy007
    ROFLMAO!! OH MY DAMN! dude, that's the funniest **** I've ever read in my life!
    movie material
    +1

    Wow, I curl what you bench.

  4. #34
    Formerly known as K'Ching K_Ching's Avatar
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    Re: almost

    Originally posted by fiftycent
    i almost got caught. well i was watching wrestling smack down on cable. and then lita vs torrie wilson came on, and as you do i felt the urge to have a bit of a go at their presence. torrie wilson got her shirt ripped off so i went for it hard........a little too hard. and i felt my load starting to come out. i was in my bedroom and was panicing. so i got up and started to run for the bathroom, with my hand over my cock. i could feel my hand getting warm from fuking cum so i was running quick. and just as i was about to get in the bathroom i blew my load on the hallway floor, i could hear my parents watching ER i think it was at the time in the lounge room and i was praying that the commercials didn't come on. so with the bathroom door open wiping down my dick and hands and flushing stuff down the toilet i kept looking over my shoulder at the big ass load in the middle of the hallway hoping that no one got up. i grabbed anything, i think it was my towel and wiped it all up. and now everytime the sun comes through the window in the afternoon u can see a big gizzz stain on the floor. but no one is the wiser.
    thats my story
    Couldn't you wash it away with a bit of water, or do you want to keep it, to remind you of your story, or what?

  5. #35
    Doctor of Broscience WickedMind's Avatar
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    Re: almost

    Originally posted by fiftycent
    i almost got caught. well i was watching wrestling smack down on cable. and then lita vs torrie wilson came on, and as you do i felt the urge to have a bit of a go at their presence. torrie wilson got her shirt ripped off so i went for it hard........a little too hard. and i felt my load starting to come out. i was in my bedroom and was panicing. so i got up and started to run for the bathroom, with my hand over my cock. i could feel my hand getting warm from fuking cum so i was running quick. and just as i was about to get in the bathroom i blew my load on the hallway floor, i could hear my parents watching ER i think it was at the time in the lounge room and i was praying that the commercials didn't come on. so with the bathroom door open wiping down my dick and hands and flushing stuff down the toilet i kept looking over my shoulder at the big ass load in the middle of the hallway hoping that no one got up. i grabbed anything, i think it was my towel and wiped it all up. and now everytime the sun comes through the window in the afternoon u can see a big gizzz stain on the floor. but no one is the wiser.
    thats my story

    lol you should have made a design

  6. #36
    Banned NoName5's Avatar
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    Re: almost

    Originally posted by fiftycent
    i almost got caught. well i was watching wrestling smack down on cable. and then lita vs torrie wilson came on, and as you do i felt the urge to have a bit of a go at their presence. torrie wilson got her shirt ripped off so i went for it hard........a little too hard. and i felt my load starting to come out. i was in my bedroom and was panicing. so i got up and started to run for the bathroom, with my hand over my cock. i could feel my hand getting warm from fuking cum so i was running quick. and just as i was about to get in the bathroom i blew my load on the hallway floor, i could hear my parents watching ER i think it was at the time in the lounge room and i was praying that the commercials didn't come on. so with the bathroom door open wiping down my dick and hands and flushing stuff down the toilet i kept looking over my shoulder at the big ass load in the middle of the hallway hoping that no one got up. i grabbed anything, i think it was my towel and wiped it all up. and now everytime the sun comes through the window in the afternoon u can see a big gizzz stain on the floor. but no one is the wiser.
    thats my story
    Why didnt u just cum in ur hands and then go wash it off? Instead of walking around with ur dick hanging out.

  7. #37
    Member Papa Diop's Avatar
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    why didnt u just lick the cum off your dick and erase the evidence.... did ur mom ever step on the cum stain?? boy would i love to lick her foot

  8. #38
    Registered User damn y_all's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    My oldest bro walked into his college apt after closing time and found his roommate passed out (drunk) on their couch with a porno running on the vcr.... his boxers around his knees, limp dick in still hand, wad drying on his stomach and a roll of paper towels next to him. LOL! He just went to bed and didn't mention it Tony got up and was in bed by the morning.

  9. #39
    Message Board King Tee's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Papa Diop
    why didnt u just lick the cum off your dick and erase the evidence.... did ur mom ever step on the cum stain?? boy would i love to lick her foot
    WTF?!

  10. #40
    Resident Canadian master_no_name's Avatar
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    Originally posted by The Conqueror
    ROTFLMAO!!!!

    I think that's happened to ALL of us at one time or another!

    Funny as hell!
    yeeeeeeeep. i got coaught twice.....*turns red*
    Negged by BPP!

  11. #41
    Member Immortal PLer's Avatar
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    Originally posted by damn y'all
    My oldest bro walked into his college apt after closing time and found his roommate passed out (drunk) on their couch with a porno running on the vcr.... his boxers around his knees, limp dick in still hand, wad drying on his stomach and a roll of paper towels next to him. LOL! He just went to bed and didn't mention it Tony got up and was in bed by the morning.
    lol
    there is no pain!!!

    age 16
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    max
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  12. #42
    Anti-Stupidity Advocate Amelia's Avatar
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    Originally posted by LsD54
    Ok, so my mom...being the nosy **** that she is, walked in on my brother, and this is all you heard thru the whole 3 story house..

    "Goddamn mom don't you ever Knock??"
    "What are ashamed of? I saw you when you were a baby, and you haven't changed much."
    LMAO @ not having changed much...bet that did wonders for his self esteem
    A female gamer? No way!

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  13. #43
    Registered User Holla112's Avatar
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    Talking Amelia:

    don't girls ever get caught pleasing themselves? i've always wondered that, most of the chics i know usually wait ti'll their parents leave then we have one of those "get 2gethers", heh i luv those **** sessions
    "It's like I'm in my own ****in' world , I speak how I feel, Sometimes I feel like I'm jus' too ****in' real!"

    height: 6'4
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    Currently cutting, down from 225 @ 15% bf to 210 @ 11-12% bf

  14. #44
    Registered User chemicaldreamer's Avatar
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    Originally posted by damn y'all
    My oldest bro walked into his college apt after closing time and found his roommate passed out (drunk) on their couch with a porno running on the vcr.... his boxers around his knees, limp dick in still hand, wad drying on his stomach and a roll of paper towels next to him. LOL! He just went to bed and didn't mention it Tony got up and was in bed by the morning.
    This is the time when you break out the camera and do some blackmailing.

  15. #45
    Anti-Stupidity Advocate Amelia's Avatar
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    Re: Amelia:

    Originally posted by Holla112
    don't girls ever get caught pleasing themselves? i've always wondered that, most of the chics i know usually wait ti'll their parents leave then we have one of those "get 2gethers", heh i luv those **** sessions
    well, I can't speak from personal experience since I've never been caught but I am sure it's happened. You get that wrapped up in something and you aren't gonna hear jack **** in your house LOL as for the group sessions, I've heard stories about those...like a bunch of sorority girls will get together and have a Masturbation Night or something..
    A female gamer? No way!

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  16. #46
    Member Sharkman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by buffdan
    ??? Tony Hawk makes you horny? You may want to seek some help!
    Elisa Steamer does have some pretty nice pixilated boobs....
    Porn is a lot like music, it's a lot better when it's \m/.

  17. #47
    Member NJiron82's Avatar
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    whackin the sack

    fellas,
    Between the ages of 14 - 18 i got caught jerkin off by everyone in my family i didnt give a **** except for the first time. Got out my dads 1970 porn (the one where the chicks have a massive bush and the dude has the sweat band on) and start rubbin that ****...i spluge all over the place and a bit lands on the remote. Like 5 hrs later my dad comes to talk to me and says that my mom grabbed the remote and there was crusty white jism on the mote he says he knows what it is but make sure i clean up...we had a good laugh. It eventually got to the point where i would tell them i was jerkin off and not to bother me, they didnt care.

    Me and my girl was goin at it and her parents coem home, so we get dressed no problems...jump on the couch as they come in the door i get up to talk to her mom and my fu***n boxers are hanging out the back of my shirt...her dad sees it and pulls them out...his face got so red i almost **** myslef, haha
    That Which Does Not Kill Thee Makes Thee Stronger

    Only The Strong Survive

  18. #48
    Registered User MrSkullybones's Avatar
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    Re: Amelia:

    Originally posted by Holla112
    don't girls ever get caught pleasing themselves? i've always wondered that, most of the chics i know usually wait ti'll their parents leave then we have one of those "get 2gethers", heh i luv those **** sessions

    it's less messy for girls, plus they don't show too much evidence, lacking a penis and all
    Die

  19. #49
    Registered User fiftycent's Avatar
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    Re: Re: almost

    Originally posted by K'Ching
    Couldn't you wash it away with a bit of water, or do you want to keep it, to remind you of your story, or what?
    um i tried washing it away, it looked totally clean. but when the sun comes in u can still see it. that stuff sticks well to tiles i'll tell ya that

  20. #50
    Member Great Dane's Avatar
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    Think about what you are doing when you masturbate.
    Attached Images
    I like the girl on top cuz I'm used to ****ing up!

    Stay away from those Special 6 page Ad Reports!!!!

  21. #51
    Registered User WQ87's Avatar
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    ...
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    Abs are made in the kitchen!

  22. #52
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    Originally posted by WQ87
    ...
    lol
    You got bigger arms than me ?
    yeah ..... :) spare yourself the embarressment

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  23. #53
    Registered User Mc_Garnicle's Avatar
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    Blew my load on my pillow, heard my mother coming to collect the sheets and pillow cases , just turned the pillow over and ran LOL ! Next moment shes screaming cause my load is on her hand from the pillow case , i couldn't stop laughing ! shes now extremly weary of pillow cases now

  24. #54
    Registered User hopper's Avatar
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    LMAO wow thats funny....btw....Chris Rock has a funny line when he talks about whacking off in bigger and blacker it's something along the lines of "and you are thinking....why dont i get a little jerk before work...and there is nobody in the house so its the good kind of jerk...not the HUH? (says while turning around and look) WHO THERE?" anyways....never been caught by my mom but my uncle caught be back when i was 12 or so...no biggie...he just said my name in a kind of you should be ashamed of yourself tone...and walked out.....i just put it away....lol

    Originally posted by Mc_Garnicle
    Blew my load on my pillow, heard my mother coming to collect the sheets and pillow cases , just turned the pillow over and ran LOL ! Next moment shes screaming cause my load is on her hand from the pillow case , i couldn't stop laughing ! shes now extremly weary of pillow cases now
    QUOTE OF THE YEAR BY BIGKID
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  25. #55
    Registered User Vaines's Avatar
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    Hillarious Thread. Never been caught, but alot of close close calls!
    "I Am a God in Amnesia....and Im Just Finally Starting To Remember" the great Sam Rattan, December 21,2012








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  26. #56
    Member AttilaTheHun's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ihateeveryone
    Yeah, one day I was flogging the log, and I was caught. What happened was, while I was shirkin' the gherkin, I got caught by my mum. She said, 'Oh my God, Ihateeveryone - are you choking the chicken?' I kinda stopped, looked at her in the eye, then at my knob, then back at her and said, 'Well - am I beating the bishop? Does it look like I am stroking the salami?' She yelled to my dad, Mr Everyone, 'Get in here quick! Ihate is doing the five knuckle shuffle!' By this time, I was getting a bit tired of slapping the salty sausage, but I wanted to give dad a show - in he comes, seeing me pet the one eyed snake. He says, 'Don't worry, dear - he is just cleaning out the pipes.' I said, 'Damn right, I'm just rubbing my rod, which is GOOD and NATURAL and HEALTHY - HONESTLY!!' Just then I kinda got the squit spasms, dropped my trolleys and coughed my filthy yoghurt. Much fun and hilarity ensued.

    Not really, I was just seeing how many semi original terms I could come up with for jacking off.
    that was ****ing hilarious, cracked me up so bad i was laughin out loud real hard here at the office... i wonder if they think im crazy now hahahah

  27. #57
    Member Softmuscled's Avatar
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    yeah i had like 10000000 close calls but i seem to have a 6th sense that tells me when my parents are coming in... i have no idea what would happen if they caught me...

  28. #58
    Registered User Radio's Avatar
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    Never been caught but lots close calls, anyway here's a sick but funny story for ya. There was this fat retarded freek who used to live next door to me. He was like 38 and fattest smelliest freek you could ever meet. He was simple and lived with his big fat mama. Anyway as my little sister got older he started to stare at her alot out his window as she went past. And one day she was going by with her friend and he was standing at the window Spanking the monkey as they say. Then another time he put a photo of his cock with woman tights on under her window. We could'nt prove it was him so just left it. Now here cums the really sick one!. One day my sis came in with her friend ooohhh yuk! Is this what i think it is. And she had something on her hand. The sick freek had smeared cum all over our door handel and as she came in she had put her hand on it as she opend the door. I went out and looked and sure enought there was spunk all over the door!!! The thing iv always wanderd is did he come out into the close and wank off over the door or did he carry it in a little dish and then smear it all over the door. We shouted abuse at him for years after that and he seemed to stop his sick antics then died of a heart attack.

  29. #59
    not a nazi, iam blunted Aryan soldier's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2003
    Location: Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey, United States
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    ^^
    ! ! ROTFLMAO!!!!
    smh

  30. #60
    Registered User WQ87's Avatar
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    lol
    Abs are made in the kitchen!

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