So my boyfriend of ~8 years has gone away to Poland for a little over a month, and will not be back til August 15th. He left on Monday and since I've been having a tough time filling the gap in my life. The thing is, we are currently in a sort-of open relationship, and I know he's gonna be staying with a Polish chick who he's smashed before for part of the trip (rest of the time he will be with family). He'll definitely be fuking her while he's there. I'm feeling pretty depressed about this, but am mainly just missing him and wishing I could be there.
The first 4 years of our relationship were long distance, so being away from him shouldn't feel so foreign to me -- but we've been chilling almost everyday for the last year and it's a lot tougher than I thought it would be. I should just suck it up, I know, but does anyone have ideas to pass the time alone? Other than gym, I've been working out everyday since he left. I'm pretty lonely and don't have any other close friends to talk to, so idk what to do with myself.
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07-15-2011, 03:01 PM #1
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Age: 34
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Boyfriend gone for 5 weeks, advice on how to dealwithit?
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07-15-2011, 03:08 PM #2
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07-15-2011, 03:08 PM #3
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07-15-2011, 03:10 PM #4
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07-15-2011, 03:10 PM #5
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07-15-2011, 03:11 PM #6
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07-15-2011, 03:21 PM #7
So hes going be be gone for almost a little bit over a month. So since you don't have any close friends to talk to you can go out and check out new things, check out the sites or something. Its an opportunity for you to find something new to do that your interested in like a hobby. Call your old friends and just hang/catch up on things. Just because hes out on a business trip for over a month doesn't mean you have to sit around being bored. Just go out and explore new things.
quitters will always quit and be a failure in life
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07-15-2011, 03:30 PM #8
- Join Date: Apr 2010
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Not exactly, but we have been dating since we were 13 or 14 years old, and he just started university this year. He wanted to have the whole dating-around experience, so that's what we've been doing the last year. I'm more or less tolerant unless he lies about it. Sometimes it's kind of kinky anyway, but it sucks when he's just so far away and i don't know wtf he's doing.
We talked about it before he left and he said that he wants me to be his exclusive gf when he gets back, and that he just wants the summer to have fun.
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07-15-2011, 03:41 PM #9
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07-15-2011, 03:42 PM #10
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07-15-2011, 04:28 PM #11
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07-15-2011, 05:20 PM #12
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07-15-2011, 05:34 PM #13
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07-15-2011, 05:45 PM #14
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07-15-2011, 06:01 PM #15
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07-15-2011, 06:01 PM #16
OP, you gotta post pics of yourself or nobody on this board is going to wanna smash you. You say you work out but, for all we know, you could look like a deformed gnome.
You gotta understand, sometimes we wanna know if we'll need a paper bag, or have to man the harpoons, ahead of time.
Got that? Okay, now pics or gtfo.
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07-15-2011, 06:03 PM #17
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07-15-2011, 06:13 PM #18
sorry but this is bull ****.
is it really an open relationship or are u just letting him cheat lol.
what would he say if u was to sleep with different men ??. its either open or its not theres no sort of. me and my ex had a completely open relationship i didnt give a **** what she did, we lived together and if i wanted to watch football or w.e id tell her to go **** someone else and she got turned on hearing details of what i did with other women.
sounds more like you think hes to good for you and ur w8ing for him to be "rdy" to commit.
so either dump him or start getting laid urself he cant have it both ways
"edit"just read that ur "depressed" bout him ****ing a polish chick while away, this isnt a open relationship hes taking advantage and u think hes to good for u. go get ****ing laid or dump him
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07-15-2011, 06:22 PM #19
You're in a similiar situation to one of my friends. But she isn't allowed to sleep with other people, actually..he cut her off from her family and friends. Lots of women are in a similiar position and are happy with it, you'd be surprised.
Go out and make some friends. Meeting guys would just complicate things for you, you seem too emotionally invested in your BF, anyway. Good Luck.
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07-15-2011, 06:22 PM #20
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Location: Illinois, United States
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LMAO, WTF?!? Wow, how nice of him to want to fcuk other girls while he's away but want you back as his exclusive GF once he comes home. What do you mean, you don't know what he's doing? He's doing another chick, dumbass -- and you agreed that that was okay for him to do!
Here's how you cope with him being gone -- go out and fcuk other dudes and imagine they're him. You've got nothing in this relationship -- it isn't a relationship. He asked to fcuk other girls and you gave him permission b/c you're too afraid to lose him after 8 years. Have some self respect for yourself and leave this dude before he comes back, then find a man who won't ask such ridiculous things of you.Last edited by Tina7578; 07-15-2011 at 06:31 PM.
"If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will."
"Obsessed is a word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated."
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07-15-2011, 06:25 PM #21
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07-15-2011, 07:06 PM #22
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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I've said this to him a few times. He says he loves me more than anyone in the world, and that he wants to marry me when the time is right, but that he's too young and doesn't want to have regrets about missing out on things. Which I understand, especially from the male perspective...and he's very convincing when I talk to him. His actions also are contradictory, he'll go out and buy me some ridiculously nice gift for no reason, but will be on a date with another girl the next night. I guess he's trying to show he cares about me the most, or something?
Idk, I don't think he is intentionally using me. He just doesn't have much ability to empathize. It's not much of an excuse though, I know what I'm doing to myself by being with a person like this. Which is why I'm sulking and miscing alone on a Friday night.
Yeah, he definitely doesn't want me to fuk other guys, or go on dates or anything. He says he'd forgive me for doing it if I did, but he doesn't want me to. I honestly have no interest in fuking around with other guys, maybe a date would be okay, but I'm really wanting a stable relationship.
pics are in profile, give advice nao?
thanks to all who have replied, I'm just venting at this point, I'm feeling so depressed the last few days. Really just feel like shiit, very alone. I'm going to go buy some books or something over the weekend to keep myself busy.
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07-15-2011, 07:11 PM #23
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07-15-2011, 07:12 PM #24
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07-15-2011, 07:13 PM #25
- Join Date: Dec 2008
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"Forgive you"???? So, it's okay for him to go out and screw other people so he doesn't have regrets, but but if you do it, he'll "forgive" you. Wow. Just wow.
You want a stable relationship and you're NEVER going to find that with this guy. No man who respects, loves, and cares for you will EVER ask that you be in an open relationship.
You deserve so much more than this guy. Might be time you let go of him and give yourself some time to figure out why you've let someone dictate this sort of a relationship with you; then, after you've taken time for yourself, find a man who will never ask you to participate in such a dysfunctional way of life."If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will."
"Obsessed is a word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated."
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07-15-2011, 07:23 PM #26
If he loves you more than anything in the world he would pass on losing out on opportunities. If a guy really cares for a girl and respects her, he will be committed solely to her. You're letting him get by with whatever he wants. You obviously can't do an open relationship, but you're allowing him to do what he wants while you get hurt. Doesn't make sense. IMO, you're whipped over him. Your feelings towards him are stronger and he can say things and make you believe them and you will because he knows you wont leave.
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07-15-2011, 07:47 PM #27
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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Both of you two above are right, I'm sure. It's not a healthy relationship at all. I do love him very much though, and I do genuinely think he loves me, but he is very immature and selfish.
Even though I know he's hurting me and I'm letting him get away with it time and again, I still miss him like crazy and feel like I'm half-functioning at the moment. This sucks, I feel pathetic. I need to figure out how to live by myself. Before I met him I was very isolated, he helped bring me out of my shell and develop into my own person. That was many years ago, now it seems like the opposite is happening...
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07-15-2011, 08:42 PM #28
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07-15-2011, 09:12 PM #29
Get out now. This is never going to work out. The fact that you're ok with this guy banging randoms says a lot about you. Get out and meet some new friends and go out and have a good time. Don't go banging guys expecting one of them to save you either. It won't happen.
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07-15-2011, 10:17 PM #30
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