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  1. #1
    ⊙▂⊙ cyde's Avatar
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    Foveralone Fleshlight Giveaway - upgrade your fapping

    Alright misc fappers ...I'm giving away a brand new Fleshlight, lube, cleaning solution, and instruction booklet. I work for the company who makes Fleshlights, and decided to give away a unit to a miscer who needs it much more than I.

    To be eligible you must:

    *Must at least 18 years of age
    *Be an active poster with a join date no later than August 2010
    *Must not be red
    *Be willing to cover shipping charges - will ship to anywhere in the world
    *Share an embarrassing story to convince me why you need the Fleshlight more than other miscers


    That's it. Just post a lulzy fail story of you striking out with a woman, busting early, worst foreveralone moment for the misc, etc, and I will choose the person who I feel needs the best selling pocket pussy in the world.

    Winner will be chosen Sunday, July 9th.



    Good luck with your fapping goals of 2011, misc.
    Last edited by cyde; 07-02-2011 at 07:21 AM.
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  2. #2
    Goober Hoot-N-Toot's Avatar
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    first post. dont want it though. dis gon be gud

    EDIT: spot for sale
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  3. #3
    Banned knox07's Avatar
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    In on 10 pager
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  4. #4
    Registered User biggestmuff's Avatar
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    I'll only enter your contest if you're giving away the loose, hairy a55hole fleshlight
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  5. #5
    Bang! EMartNJ's Avatar
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    In b4 someone posts a Malodrax story.
    So it goes...
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  6. #6
    Registered User Gif_Brah's Avatar
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    You got any used ones to give away?


















































    Wat?
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  7. #7
    _________________________ DenialBrah's Avatar
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  8. #8
    ⊙▂⊙ cyde's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by biggestmuff View Post
    I'll only enter your contest if you're giving away the loose, hairy a55hole fleshlight
    I can install my own ass hairs on the Fleshlight if that would work for you.
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  9. #9
    Registered User zebrah's Avatar
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    Send it to Malodrax
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  10. #10
    Registered User Deadlift_10KG's Avatar
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    seems interesting
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  11. #11
    Registered Amuser FrozenMercury's Avatar
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    inb4 the miscer finds out its used
    On a blood and guts quest for 100k \_(ツ)_/
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  12. #12
    Bob Loblaw drxmn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cyde View Post
    Alright misc fappers ...I'm giving away a brand new Fleshlight, lube, cleaning solution, and instruction booklet. I work for the company who makes Fleshlights, and decided to give away a unit to a miscer who needs it much more than I.
    what the hell lol?

    I remember you from the supp section, didnt you use to rep someone, maybe iSatori?
    God bless/science be with our military
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  13. #13
    Registered User irvinelaw's Avatar
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    In for hilarity to ensue.
    RB nine fiddy+
    ✪Saiyan ☾rew✪
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    Civilize the mind. Make savage the body.
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  14. #14
    Banned ThatJazz's Avatar
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    spot for sale
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  15. #15
    n moe_flex's Avatar
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    send it to me

    i need it so i can up my sex game.
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  16. #16
    Registered User Num3n's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by irvinelaw View Post



    In for hilarity to ensue.
    lmfao
    Think you of the fact that a deaf person cannot hear. Then what deafness may we not all possess? ~ Dune

    We need a new ideology with the core values of reason, honesty, science and secular progress over the older traditions of religion, superstition and dogmatic faith that have long defined humanity. We will never be free to progress and advance until the last stone from the last church is cast down onto the last priest. And every equivalent.
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  17. #17
    The **** You Gonna Do? Troll_Patrol's Avatar
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    lmfaooooooooooooooo
    <3 http://i.imgur.com/pnCvw.gif <3
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  18. #18
    Registered User koulaidbrah's Avatar
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    I just want the T-shirt.
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  19. #19
    Registered User biggestmuff's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cyde View Post
    I can install my own ass hairs on the Fleshlight if that would work for you.
    Can you put a packet of your blood about 3 inches into the opening so that I may experience bursting your butt-hymen?
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  20. #20
    Registered User Mike_24's Avatar
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    is it the best job in the world?
    ... RIP Matt Cook AKA StephenHawking ...
    ☆☆☆υк яєω☆☆☆
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  21. #21
    greece monk quay muruku's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by koulaidbrah View Post
    I just want the T-shirt.
    lol this.
    You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good.
    � Jerry West �
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  22. #22
    Registered User Jelet's Avatar
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    inb4 used fleshlight.
    My favorite miscer:LtGoose (no homo)
    Respect List : ShayZ, , dickyoliver, zuludddd, Thomas.of.Hunter , jcapo, zer0xp , Rasc170,wollo7,ajcoop20,softpounder
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  23. #23
    Registered User kgzk111's Avatar
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    give me it so i can sell it for 350 dollars
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  24. #24
    Turbo turboface's Avatar
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    First time I had anal sex with my gf, she was on top and I finished in her anus. When she got up off my dink to go poop out my man hood, she let a turd out on my chest. She didn't notice it and went to the washroom.

    It was warm man. Really warm. I looked at it, sitting there, practically steaming on my chest covered in my jizz. It sat there, no sign of corn and small, like a corrupted chapstick, until she came back from the toilet.

    "wtf is that", she said.

    "you poo'd on me", I replied

    "omfg im so embarressed we're never doing that again omfg why didnt you clean it up before i got back oh god thats so gross did i really do that omg i feel so disgusting are you mad at me?", she was very upset.

    "eh i don't mind, pass me a kleenex will you?"

    She was crying when she passed me the kleenex and I scooped it up and put it in the garbage then wiped the poo smear off my chest. Told her it was no big deal and I'd be down for teh anus sex anytime, but she was traumatized.

    This was 4 years ago and I've never had anal sex with my gf again and probably never will. I need something to keep this interesting if I cannot have thine anus. Forgive my late join date, for I have been ignorant to the aesthetic ways for so long.

    Consider me for your prize of all prizes, as I am one who will never know the joys of shooting my load into my gfs sweet, inviting swollen anus ever again for as long as I live...


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  25. #25
    🐸👌 AboveAverage's Avatar
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    One time I tried replicating teh sex by warming up filets of salmon, then wrapping them around my dick in a condom and masterbating. feltgoodman.jpg

    can i haz flashlight?
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  26. #26
    Registered User surferd31's Avatar
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    first page saving spot
    CURRENT NOOB STATS as of 3/1/10
    BB Bench: 215 5x5
    DB Press: 90's 4x6
    Deadlift: 315 5x5
    ATG Squat: 205 4x6
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  27. #27
    Registered User irvinelaw's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by turboface View Post
    First time I had anal sex with my gf, she was on top and I finished in her anus. When she got up off my dink to go poop out my man hood, she let a turd out on my chest. She didn't notice it and went to the washroom.

    It was warm man. Really warm. I looked at it, sitting there, practically steaming on my chest covered in my jizz. It sat there, no sign of corn and small, like a corrupted chapstick, until she came back from the toilet.

    "wtf is that", she said.

    "you poo'd on me", I replied

    "omfg im so embarressed we're never doing that again omfg why didnt you clean it up before i got back oh god thats so gross did i really do that omg i feel so disgusting are you mad at me?", she was very upset.

    "eh i don't mind, pass me a kleenex will you?"

    She was crying when she passed me the kleenex and I scooped it up and put it in the garbage then wiped the poo smear off my chest. Told her it was no big deal and I'd be down for teh anus sex anytime, but she was traumatized.

    This was 4 years ago and I've never had anal sex with my gf again and probably never will. I need something to keep this interesting if I cannot have thine anus. Forgive my late join date, for I have been ignorant to the aesthetic ways for so long.

    Consider me for your prize of all prizes, as I am one who will never know the joys of shooting my load into my gfs sweet, inviting swollen anus ever again for as long as I live...

    I know that feel bro, I'll never be able to do anal with my gf either.


    Probably because she doesn't have a butthole

    RB nine fiddy+
    ✪Saiyan ☾rew✪
    ✖ NO PORN ✖
    Civilize the mind. Make savage the body.
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  28. #28
    Registered User xx211aaronxx's Avatar
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    xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500) xx211aaronxx is not very helpful. (-500)
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    my sister has this nice leather couch (i stay with her and my mother) one day, i was alone, it was a school day and everyone was at work/school, my sister works at home and occasionly goes out in "service" (thats wat she calls it)(shes a jehovah witness) anyways back to my story, so im home alone, just woke up, got on the laptop for a few and started browsing around out of boredem, suddenly i see some oliva munn photos and start to thinkin, i dont want just a regular fap session, i want something new! something Different, so i start looking around my house for something i could use (read about using a bannana peel, gave me some ideas) but couldnt find anything, i start thinking, "hmmm, do we have anything that would feel like a vagina" and im thinking something leather and BOOM leather couch pops in my head so i went over to the other side of my house and started looking at the leather couch and wondering how the **** could i do this... theres a foot rest that came with the couch, leather also, so what i decided to do was squeeze the foot rest in between both of the couches, to give a nice tight fit and noticed that there was a spot where i could enter my piece in, so i go back to my room grab some things (towel,lotion, etc.) and of course the laptop, with the pics, so i set everything up, lubed up the couch, took off my clothes, put the laptop in a nice spot and i got to it, maybe 10 seconds in i heard a noise but payed no attention to it, my sister walks by and im staring at her the whole time wondering wtf i should do (she walks in and always goes str8 to her room, which is right behind me) so she walks in and goes to the kitchen, she had brought some food with her that she was putting away, i get up slowly (the couch makes a lot of noise) i went to put on my clothes and she walks out and just bertstared and said
    sis: wtf were u doing?!"
    (i stared at her and didnt know wat to say)
    sis: ur ****ing sick
    me: ....i thought u were out in service??
    she just stared at me and walked to her room...
    i dont bring company over anymore cuz if i piss her off she tells everyone wat i did....
    ****s sooo embarassing
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  29. #29
    ███♣███ xeron's Avatar
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    In. Lol.

    Does August 2010 meet the cutoff line? And do I even have to go into my failures? Just ask the Misc about my failures with women.

    here's one of my first threads I made about my fails with women on the misc
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=133031023
    Make Misc Great Again
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  30. #30
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    Smile

    My friend's girlfriend is cheated on him, and he cheated on her. They were near breaking up, and she came to my house to stay the night.

    I made her stop drinking alcohol, because she used to have a problem. I let her sleep in my bed next to me as well.

    I'm still a virgin, and this occurred a few days ago.

    Forever a gentlemen.
    -= * Olympian Health Representative *=-

    James 1:2 - "Rejoice my brothers and sisters when you face trials of many kinds."

    Never give up, you're in control of your own ambition and discipline. It's never too late to be where you want to be as long as you start now and stay focused.
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