How to stop feeling self-conscious at the gym and other times?

[Willtee123]

I'm a 17 yr old guy, 195 lbs, overweight. I have a kinda big backside and my thighs are big and I have a stomach. I really want to change, but I feel self conscious when I hit the gym, and I just get depressed thinking about my body, which ironically demotivates me and makes me think I'm just going to stay fat. How can I get over this?

[Vartze]

Stop caring about what other people think, most of the time people are busy focusing on their own workout to notice you anyway.

Personally I never judge overweight/beginners at the gym anyway (unless they give you a reason to by being obnoxious or whatever), it's good they're trying to change themselves for the better. If I saw them at mcdonalds stuffing down 2 big mac meals then that'd be a different story

[MrSmellGood]

honestly lil buddy, its easy for anyone to tell you to just suck it up or, to do this or that. but honestly brah... we all started somewhere. heck when i first started out i was the same way as you man. wondering what people were thinking when i stepped into the gym or where ever else you may feel it. and its something to this day that i still battle all be it its a lot easier now. the biggest thing you need to do is just go and do your thing. surround yourself with positive people... and remember that the majority of people in the gym even tho they may be lookin at you occasionally are in their own little world or are just zoning out between sets while they catch their breath and really could care lless about what you or anyone else in the place is doing. but give yourself credit bro, youre one of the few people out there that is actually taking the initiative to get off their butts and do something about their bodys whether its to lose weight, or a skinny dude trying to get bigger. point is youre making an effort!! props to you for doing that man! cuz there are alot of people out there that will whine and complain and never do anything about it except look for sympathy. soo just do your thing man, nobody worth your time is gonna judge you.. and if there ever is somebody that does... just know that theyre not worth feeling ****ty over cuz they probably are just as self concious, or even more insecure than youre feeling and they just dont know how to properly deal with it. just keep at it, eat clean, and it will come lil dude! and as your body changes soo will your confidence and the way you feel bout yourself.

most of the guys on this site are pretty good with answering any questions you may have and theres honestly probably a forum for everything on here haha


soo keep your head up and go hard!

[Nomza]

Wear a hoodie and raise it over your head. Plug in your Ipod, blast your favourite music and syncronize it with your lifting.

Turn on the nophucksgivenmode and train with rage. Who cares about people? They're all *******s anyway.

G'luck brah!

[SaMpoWer]

I've a lot of respect for anyone who's trying to make a big change in his life and live healthier.

Whether it's by loosing fat, increasing cardio or gaining some muscles.. Anyone who trains has his own reasons.
And personnaly, I never judge anybody, only the lil' douchebag will. And who cares about them?

The only person to whom you've something to proove is yourself. So, are you waiting for?
At the end of the day you'll be proud of what you accomplished.

Stop focusing about what you look right now, and focus about your own objectives and how proud you'll be when you'll reach them.

Don't give up... Or you'll always be the same and live your entire live that way..
Now, let's hit the gym hard

[Willtee123]

THanks a lot guys, its really helping!

[ckleckner10]

greatest advice ever given to me about the gym...leave your ego at the door. if people want to judge you for wanting to turn your life around they have some deep seated issues about themselves and they shouldnt be taken seriously then anyway. Just about anyone else in there either wants to minds themselves and be left alone or is friendly and they will respect others about their gym endeavors. Just have some gym ethics, rerack your weights and change your life and haters wont matter

[Emdad]

Ask yourself that question, and your own mind will find you answers.

[sb327]

you are at the gym for yourself and nobody else. you may feel bad about yourself right now, but in two weeks you will be better off than you are right now. and in two more weeks youll be even better. and so on and so on. every time you have a negative thought, fight it. deny that thought and stay focused. and dont worry if people are looking at you or even making fun of you. the only people who care about how others in the gym look are those who are insecure with the way they themselves look.

[Cakes89]

Wear a hoodie and raise it over your head. Plug in your Ipod, blast your favourite music and syncronize it with your lifting.

Turn on the nophucksgivenmode and train with rage. Who cares about people? They're all *******s anyway.

G'luck brah!

This^ bro...

I'm judgemental usually.. but in the gym when u see somebody bustin their tail big or small old or young I respect that.. don't worry bout other ppl man

[babumtzara]

I remember the first time I went to the gym, it was really intimidating. You see all the machines and you think : damn I'm lost.

But you get used to it and after a couple times you will start feeling "at home". try going with a friend for the first times.

[Misctake7]

Stop caring about what other people think, most of the time people are busy focusing on their own workout to notice you anyway.

Personally I never judge overweight/beginners at the gym anyway (unless they give you a reason to by being obnoxious or whatever), it's good they're trying to change themselves for the better. If I saw them at mcdonalds stuffing down 2 big mac meals then that'd be a different story

This. Regardless of what the person looks like, they have my respect if they are in the gym working.

Most people that are overweight has that fear of the gym and others but as everyone else has already said, the people at the gym are concentrated on there workout, not yours. As long as you work hard and diet right, you will get the results you want and you will have nothing to be embarrassed about.

[yettiatcpg]

if it helps I work out with my sons football off season. they are all in great shape for the most part. I'm just an old fat guy to them. I don't let ego in the door. if I can get in and work out with a bunch of kids, then anyone can. if your worried someone will say something then you go to the wrong gym.

[Bethany1033]

I'm a 17 yr old guy, 195 lbs, overweight. I have a kinda big backside and my thighs are big and I have a stomach. I really want to change, but I feel self conscious when I hit the gym, and I just get depressed thinking about my body, which ironically demotivates me and makes me think I'm just going to stay fat. How can I get over this?

Many people who are overweight let that self consciousness defeat them. Dont be one of those people. Self consciousness is called self consciousness because only the self(you) is aware of it. Don't be defeated by your own mind! And when all else fails remember, F&ck You I'm an Anteater!
Google it!

[MusicForMuscles]

Everyone here so far has already given you great advice and the right mentality to have.

One thing that I've learned through the years is that when you're at the gym, most people are not really paying attention to you. Guys are usually usually focused on their own workout, distracted with watching hot girls workout, or being intimidated themselves by that one monster bodybuilder guy walking around the place.

So just realize, that nobody in there really cares much about watching you, so they won't pay you much attention until you start showing up consistently and seeing results. Then they will probably start paying you compliments on your work ethic, and that will motivate you and build your self-esteem in the gym more than you can currently imagine.

So just go with the attitude that:

a) no one is really paying YOU that much attention right now
b) those who are paying attention are probably overweight themselves, and feel better to see another overweight guy in there
c) in a few weeks, the more fit folks will probably start to speak to you and give you positive feedback

If the pressure is just too much for you, then if it's possible, you can start working out real late (1-2am) or super early (4-5am) when the gym is pretty much empty.

[jdflex23]

Forget what other people think bro. Your at the gym putting work in, that right there earns your place. Most people are lazy as fk and procrastinate terrible. I personally would never judge anyone that is trying to make improvements to their lifestyle.. That's what its all about bro, be healthy, build confidence and make some gains. Believe me, put the time in, once the results start to come you wont give a damn what anyone else thinks!!

-jdflex

[rkalsow]

I'm a 17 yr old guy, 195 lbs, overweight. I have a kinda big backside and my thighs are big and I have a stomach. I really want to change, but I feel self conscious when I hit the gym, and I just get depressed thinking about my body, which ironically demotivates me and makes me think I'm just going to stay fat. How can I get over this?

Honestly Willtee, everytime I see a larger person in the gym. They have ALL of my respect. I give it to them because they are in there, TRYING to do something. And that's all that matters. As long as you are trying to make a change, and you are making the effort to get the gym and work for it. You have my respect and I'm sure the majority of people in the gym think the same way. Props to you.

[walshj844]

Focus on yourself and don't let others dictate your actions in life. Write your own story and don't let others write it for you. Just keep going and work hard!

[OutWorkedByNo1]

I'm a 17 yr old guy, 195 lbs, overweight. I have a kinda big backside and my thighs are big and I have a stomach. I really want to change, but I feel self conscious when I hit the gym, and I just get depressed thinking about my body, which ironically demotivates me and makes me think I'm just going to stay fat. How can I get over this?

no one on the gym will judge you due to everyone in their has the same goal as you and thats to achieve the best body possble. you got to understand it will take time and be patient to understand it wont happen over night. have a plan , a routine to follow, a set of macros,and a cardio regimen. with time you will start noticing results that will drive you to keep going and knowing you can achieve your goal. keeping learning to improve on how to achieve your goals, it will give you the sense of control over your life

[TheDieNasty]

I've always been self conscious about myself and have bounced over many hurdles. My friends (who don't go to the gym) are always trying to poke fun at me weather I have a protein shake in my hand or just trying to eat super healthy when I'm out. What everyone is saying above is great advice, keep at it bro. You see overweight people and super skinny people at the gym, trying to improve. Huge props! Obese people at Mc Donalds or any fast food place, even with their children who are either obese or on the way there, no respect.
Keep pushing yourself and the results will come slowly, BUT they will come! It's been a long slow road for super skinny fat me, I know you can do it too! Good luck and stay healthy.

[cjmcguire90]

Everyone here so far has already given you great advice and the right mentality to have.

One thing that I've learned through the years is that when you're at the gym, most people are not really paying attention to you. Guys are usually usually focused on their own workout, distracted with watching hot girls workout, or being intimidated themselves by that one monster bodybuilder guy walking around the place.

So just realize, that nobody in there really cares much about watching you, so they won't pay you much attention until you start showing up consistently and seeing results. Then they will probably start paying you compliments on your work ethic, and that will motivate you and build your self-esteem in the gym more than you can currently imagine.

So just go with the attitude that:

a) no one is really paying YOU that much attention right now
b) those who are paying attention are probably overweight themselves, and feel better to see another overweight guy in there
c) in a few weeks, the more fit folks will probably start to speak to you and give you positive feedback

If the pressure is just too much for you, then if it's possible, you can start working out real late (1-2am) or super early (4-5am) when the gym is pretty much empty.

Great post! So many good points made. I especially agree that people might look at you but generally I find myself glancing around between sets and might look at someone new in the gym just because it's a new face, regardless of their size or looks. One really important mental thing I have learned is who am I to judge you and who are you to judge me? If I don't know you, I have no clue what your goals are or what motivates you to go to the gym. Do not interpret people looking at you as a negative thing!

Also, as you go to the gym more people generally will notice you if your there frequently. I know that's how it is at my gym and if I see s someone in there a lot I try to get to know the people around me. I always encourage people because I know how big of an impact that can have from personal experiences.

Just train your muscles, not your ego, work hard and have fun. Before you know it you will feel more comfortable and you will look forward to each gym session.

[dest0]

Think of how you're gonna feel like when you are where you wanna be, if that makes sense..I've seen friends SERIOUSLY super defined from being obeise, and I've got so much respect for them for trying so hard, but nobody's gonna care/judge what you look like when u've got a layer on you, jus work ur *ss off at the gym n lift hard