How did/do you know he/she is the one to marry?

[Crazymix]

What type of emotions did/do you have?

What were some signs that you had?

Please add anything you feel like sharing.




THIS IS A VERY SRS TAG

Thanks,
Crazy

[goalorientgirl]

Comfort.

I feel confident getting married in a couple of months because we are so comfortable with each other; I'm more comfortable with him than I have been with anyone, friends of family. I trust him completely; there is nothing I feel we can't talk about and there is nothing with him that I worry about. He's my best friend, he's my family. We know everything about each other. I can't imagine my life without him. No one makes me feel as safe and happy as he does when he holds me. And the smell of his old shirts are the only way I can sleep at night if one of us has to be away for work.

6 years ago, we were passionate and fun and I thought about him all the time and was "so in love", and it's remembering that silly, twitterpated, lust/"love" that makes me realise just how special that sense of him being family to me is. It's a totally different kind of "passion" we have now; he doesn't make my stomach feel like it's full of butterflies anymore, but it's so much better than that. This comfortable love is really the best.

We've known we were going to get married for years, but we decided to do it now because 1) we have the money saved up for a wedding, 2) we want to start a family in the next few years and we'd both want to be married before having kids and 3) because we're best friends, and it's not like either one of us can picture not growing old together.

[Echo814]

I will be married two years in August and we where together for nearly two years before that. With my husband I could tell there was something different from the first time I met him. I was relaxed and didn't feel like I needed to prove myself. Like the previous poster stated there is a level of comfort with us where I am free to be myself and he is free to be himself good or bad After almost four years there is still passion between us and I can't imagine my life without him. We respect each other and appreciate everything, even if its something as simple like saying thank you for cleaning the kitchen.

I almost got married to the guy I had my first serious relationship with and it was because I felt that I wouldn't find anyone better and didn't believe that I deserved someone better. After the first year or so there wasn't much passion and he made promises that he broke a lot. He wasn't a bad guy just focused on what he wanted and that was it, what I wanted didn't matter. Towards the end I had a constant feeling that he was cheating on me and it turned out to be true (taught me to listen to my gut more) Luckily he left me before we actually got married, did us both a favor.

Between the two there is a world of difference and I do think it takes sometime before you figure what makes a partner marriage worthy.

[Crazymix]

Comfort.

I feel confident getting married in a couple of months because we are so comfortable with each other; I'm more comfortable with him than I have been with anyone, friends of family. I trust him completely; there is nothing I feel we can't talk about and there is nothing with him that I worry about. He's my best friend, he's my family. We know everything about each other. I can't imagine my life without him. No one makes me feel as safe and happy as he does when he holds me. And the smell of his old shirts are the only way I can sleep at night if one of us has to be away for work.

6 years ago, we were passionate and fun and I thought about him all the time and was "so in love", and it's remembering that silly, twitterpated, lust/"love" that makes me realise just how special that sense of him being family to me is. It's a totally different kind of "passion" we have now; he doesn't make my stomach feel like it's full of butterflies anymore, but it's so much better than that. This comfortable love is really the best.

We've known we were going to get married for years, but we decided to do it now because 1) we have the money saved up for a wedding, 2) we want to start a family in the next few years and we'd both want to be married before having kids and 3) because we're best friends, and it's not like either one of us can picture not growing old together.

I will be married two years in August and we where together for nearly two years before that. With my husband I could tell there was something different from the first time I met him. I was relaxed and didn't feel like I needed to prove myself. Like the previous poster stated there is a level of comfort with us where I am free to be myself and he is free to be himself good or bad After almost four years there is still passion between us and I can't imagine my life without him. We respect each other and appreciate everything, even if its something as simple like saying thank you for cleaning the kitchen.

I almost got married to the guy I had my first serious relationship with and it was because I felt that I wouldn't find anyone better and didn't believe that I deserved someone better. After the first year or so there wasn't much passion and he made promises that he broke a lot. He wasn't a bad guy just focused on what he wanted and that was it, what I wanted didn't matter. Towards the end I had a constant feeling that he was cheating on me and it turned out to be true (taught me to listen to my gut more) Luckily he left me before we actually got married, did us both a favor.

Between the two there is a world of difference and I do think it takes sometime before you figure what makes a partner marriage worthy.

Thank you for taking the time to write this. <3

[TeayotaSoupra]

"I almost got married to the guy I had my first serious relationship with and it was because I felt that I wouldn't find anyone better and didn't believe that I deserved someone better. After the first year or so there wasn't much passion and he made promises that he broke a lot. He wasn't a bad guy just focused on what he wanted and that was it, what I wanted didn't matter."

That's what I did. Married that... and that's why i'm getting a divorce. He now realises he was that guy but it's too late.

Just have to be sure they are everything you've ever wanted. The one person you can trust, the one person you feel complete around. I felt like I was never good enough, I tried so hard and felt like I wasn't getting anywhere - that no matter what I did he would never be happy with me. It's a horrible damn feeling!

If you both feel 100% yourself around each other and feel good together - it's right.

[Ion26]

Don't know. Im not married.

[Myshell87]

im not married, but ive been with my partner for 4.5yrs and we moved in together last october.. so not sure if this will really answer your question, but here it goes anyways..

Im with him cause i know in my heart that his the only one that loves me for who i am..(excluding my family of course) i can be the lazy, stubborn, persistent, clean freak, who's disgusting at times, laughs at her own jokes and cares way too deeply about insignificant things type of person that i am, and he still loves me and doesnt judge me for being "human".

I think being comfortable with someone says alot.. you shouldnt need to hide who you are or pretend your always "perfect".... cause no one is..

[DearZorro]

When you like it without changing it. When you do not want less or more but just keep what you have and never lost it.

[5more]

I'm getting married in 6 weeks. We've been together almost 10 years. I love this man more then anything and would lay down and die for him if I had to. Before we started dating we were great friends. He knew all my secrets and everything about me, because of this I never had to put on a show with him or pretend I was interested in things I wasn't so he would like me. (the usual song and dance of the dating game) Oh one more thing, in 10 years we've NEVER fought over anything. As for your question how did you know? You just do. If you have to ask you may have doubts.

[perumina]

this thread makes me smile...

there was no one particular thing but believe I was at a point where I could truly love someone and found him to be a 'good guy' with a good head on his shoulders

ALSO the chemistry was there right away upon first sight

[goalorientgirl]

this thread makes me smile...

Me too!

[AnnieOlson]

He was the first man to treat me with respect, treat me like I mattered and that I was important, and the first man who would drop anything to be with me. I finally didn't feel the person on the sideline (was the case with my 1st boyfriend).

I also knew when I could look at all his flaws and not give a hoot about it. He's a very particular textbook Virgo, but I love him that way. Plus, he has a nice booty

[erinlee01]

When you realize that you are able to be 100% who you are and they still like you. And when you realize that they are being 100% who they are and you still like them. And when you acknowledge that while there may be a million things about the other person that drive you crazy (and not necessarily in a good way), you wouldn't want them to change.

[greesemuunkie]

I realized he was the one because I never thought about having children until him. Simple, right? I had no interest of having a baby until I thought about carrying HIS baby.

[Mindi912]

Awwwwwwwww Crazy's in love and gonna get married.

[seanb1979]

I'm getting married in 6 weeks. We've been together almost 10 years. I love this man more then anything and would lay down and die for him if I had to. Before we started dating we were great friends. He knew all my secrets and everything about me, because of this I never had to put on a show with him or pretend I was interested in things I wasn't so he would like me. (the usual song and dance of the dating game) Oh one more thing, in 10 years we've NEVER fought over anything. As for your question how did you know? You just do. If you have to ask you may have doubts.

just curious, why bother with the legalities if youve been together that long? what kept you from finalizing it earlier? also, does canada have a form of common-law marriage?

[morganchristie]

At my first wedding I wanted to be the runaway bride. I looked behind me and every part of my being wanted to run far and fast. I fought my instincts and walked into the doomed marriage. Divorce came shortly later.
My second wedding every part of me wanted to run... But just into the arms of my husband! Haha this is my last marriage I quit after this one. You know it's the right one when it feels easy and right. I say life around you is dramatic enough to have it your relationship!

[perumina]

I realized he was the one because I never thought about having children until him. Simple, right? I had no interest of having a baby until I thought about carrying HIS baby.

haha same here actually....I would say this is very important when you start picturing the future with him together!

[BestYearEver]

I've been married 23 /2 years, and we were together 2 years befor that. One of the main things for me was that I looked forward to seeing him every day. Always glad to come home to him, really.

We weren't good friends before dating, but became best friends and are to this day. Liking each other, in addition to the love and/or lust, is a big deal. It also helps enjoying each Other's company and just doing things together, even though each of us has our own particular interests.

The last point is more of a good marriage thing, as opposed to "how did you know" but a good sex life is important. Lots of people seem to lose this when babies come, and I think pregnancy and nursing hormones have a lot to do with it. But still.... the hormones go back to normal, and you dont have to settle in that rut. The little issues just seem to blow up and get bigger than they should be when your sex life isn't good. I guess we both get bitchy when we aren't getting any, or enough. Lol.

[Crazymix]

I've been married 23 /2 years, and we were together 2 years befor that. One of the main things for me was that I looked forward to seeing him every day. Always glad to come home to him, really.

We weren't good friends before dating, but became best friends and are to this day. Liking each other, in addition to the love and/or lust, is a big deal. It also helps enjoying each Other's company and just doing things together, even though each of us has our own particular interests.

The last point is more of a good marriage thing, as opposed to "how did you know" but a good sex life is important. Lots of people seem to lose this when babies come, and I think pregnancy and nursing hormones have a lot to do with it. But still.... the hormones go back to normal, and you dont have to settle in that rut. The little issues just seem to blow up and get bigger than they should be when your sex life isn't good. I guess we both get bitchy when we aren't getting any, or enough. Lol.

So, are you still married?

[nvrstopworking]

Very interesting thread.

I'm still waiting for "that feeling" myself.... I could have probably married my last 2 g/fs but there was just something missing there that I couldn't put my finger on (in spite of the fact that they were/are both great people).

Here's hoping that cupid hasn't given up on me.

[JillSlap]

I've been married 13+ years and it really boils down to the fact that y husband is easy. There's no drama, no screaming fights or stupid jealousy or competitiveness or trust issues. Marriage shouldn't be a drag. Your spouse should enhance your life, not bring you down. I'm too laid back to be married to a drama queen, and my husband suits me perfectly.

[Crazymix]

Very interesting thread.

I'm still waiting for "that feeling" myself.... I could have probably married my last 2 g/fs but there was just something missing there that I couldn't put my finger on (in spite of the fact that they were/are both great people).

Here's hoping that cupid hasn't given up on me.

They both were great but not the perfect one for you... why the break-up? who is now the gf? is she the one? at your age do you feel you need to marry soon?

[nvrstopworking]

They both were great but not the perfect one for you... why the break-up? who is now the gf? is she the one? at your age do you feel you need to marry soon?

I don't see the point in staying together if I don't feel like there's a future there.... and I could sense that they were getting to the point where they wanted more than I was willing to give (moving in together etc).

No g/f at the moment. I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't ANY pressure at all to get hitched and start a family but it's not something that I HAVE TO HAVE in my life. I'd rather be single than married just for the sake of being married.

[discdoggie]

I honestly don't know. Apparently he wasn't the "right" one, but it seemed right at the time. And for a good 7-8 years after. (For me, anyway. )

How does anyone know, really? If you care about someone enough, and they care about you, then you both can work hard at making marriage work. I think that romanticized version of "the one" as in, there's ONLY one "right" person for everyone is ridiculous.

In my adult life, I've been through 3 long-term relationships. They were ALL perfect for me.


Don't get caught up in storybook ideas. Life isn't like that.

[Crazymix]

I don't see the point in staying together if I don't feel like there's a future there.... and I could sense that they were getting to the point where they wanted more than I was willing to give (moving in together etc).

No g/f at the moment. I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't ANY pressure at all to get hitched and start a family but it's not something that I HAVE TO HAVE in my life. I'd rather be single than married just for the sake of being married.

I hear you on all accounts bro.

Do YOU.

[erinlee01]

I honestly don't know. Apparently he wasn't the "right" one, but it seemed right at the time. And for a good 7-8 years after. (For me, anyway. )

How does anyone know, really? If you care about someone enough, and they care about you, then you both can work hard at making marriage work. I think that romanticized version of "the one" as in, there's ONLY one "right" person for everyone is ridiculous.

In my adult life, I've been through 3 long-term relationships. They were ALL perfect for me.


Don't get caught up in storybook ideas. Life isn't like that.

^^^ This. There's just "right" for right now. Some right nows last longer that others.