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  1. #1
    Registered User anotheruser's Avatar
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    How a regular smoker passed a drug test in a 9 days

    in 9 days. Said week first, then realized it was a tad longer. phuck, I'm an English major.

    Semi-regular toker. Had to take a drug test with 9 days notice. Naturally I freaked.

    Well, I passed. Here's how:

    -Do as much cardio as you can and go into caloric deficiency to burn as much fat as possible
    -stop working out 3 days prior
    -high fiber diet to get some THC into your stool (slight effect, might be worth it)
    -creatine supplements. 3-5 days prior make sure you are eating a ton of red meat. This is to get your creatinine levels up.
    -the day of the test, here's what you're doing:
    ->gallon of water
    ->half gallon of something else (gatorade, juice, etc., don't want to get water poisoning and it gets hard to drink all that water)
    ->B-vitamin super drink to color your piss yellow so it doesn't look like you diluted
    ->lots of asparagus to also color your piss

    That's it. According to my interwebz research, those detox kits are bogus.

    edit: this is just for some info. Do your own research.
    Last edited by anotheruser; 04-06-2011 at 08:41 PM.
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  2. #2
    was born aware BaGeL23's Avatar
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    That's a lot of work for a stoner, no thx
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    prepare yo anus peteypistol's Avatar
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    did the exact same minus the cardio b4. didnt need it I geuss.... worked for me for 2 lab drug tests


    and the detox kits arent bogus... they are exactly wut posted. creatine n vitamin B12


    creatine so when the lab tech checks the creatinine levels to see if u diluted ur piss by pourin water into it or drinkin alot of water
    B12 so the color is yellow still after drinkin so much water


    cant tell u how many times ive tried to tell this method to friends and they just berttstare me n tell me im a retard
    wait, is doggy in vagina?
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  4. #4
    Registered User T2TL's Avatar
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    I think sometimes they just do it as a scare tactic. I worked at this place that made me take a drug test before working there. It was a few days after New Years Eve and I smoked a decent amount. I pissed in a cup and figured what the hell it'll be lolz for them when they wonder why I came. They never questioned anything and nothing came up. Makes me think they bs sometimes depending on where you work
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    Better idea....



    don't do drugs.
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    good job dave man but a common misconception is that you want to keep burning off the thc until you take the test. that's not true, you want to go into fat STORAGE mode 36 hours before the test so that thc isnt being released into your blood stream. that means eating like a fatass/no exercise
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    strong name to thread correlation...
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  8. #8
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    only way to pass for doja is dilution end of story
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  9. #9
    results may vary Bettabez's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lionpride View Post
    only way to pass for doja is dilution end of story
    Or heres an idea...fake piss. Comes with a warming pad and everything. Just microwave it to get the sticker to read the correct temperature, apply warming pad, profit and enjoy your new job.

    Way easier and you don't need to miss a single toke given that day.
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  10. #10
    Registered User anotheruser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BobbyGz View Post
    Better idea....



    don't do drugs.
    better idea...



    piss off
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by T2TL View Post
    I think sometimes they just do it as a scare tactic. I worked at this place that made me take a drug test before working there. It was a few days after New Years Eve and I smoked a decent amount. I pissed in a cup and figured what the hell it'll be lolz for them when they wonder why I came. They never questioned anything and nothing came up. Makes me think they bs sometimes depending on where you work
    i think alot of places don't really care about pot, so much as opiates, coke, ect.so m
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  12. #12
    Registered User anotheruser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bettabez View Post
    Or heres an idea...fake piss. Comes a warming pad and everything. Just microwave it to get the sticker to read the correct temperature, apply warming pad, profit and enjoy your new job.

    Way easier and you don't need to miss a single toke given that day.
    ya, but some of them don't have the correct specific gravity, creatinine, or pH levels. I'd be really careful.

    also, I pissed where the doctor could see my dick. I was doing it to beat a drug charge leveled by my school. Yes, gay as hell phaggotry by school.

    edit:

    [QUOTE=peteypistol;658930503

    and the detox kits arent bogus... they are exactly wut posted. creatine n vitamin B12


    creatine so when the lab tech checks the creatinine levels to see if u diluted ur piss by pourin water into it or drinkin alot of water
    B12 so the color is yellow still after drinkin so much water[/QUOTE]

    Ok, it's misleading. It's not a detox, it's a dilution aid. They market it these things as a cleanser of THC. Don't work like that.
    Last edited by anotheruser; 04-06-2011 at 08:34 PM.
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  13. #13
    Spring '09 Sherman60's Avatar
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    9 days? Wow we got some straight amateurs in here.

    Try 3 days. There is a formula and regimen you have to follow but it is about 4 or 5 steps.

    Edit: If you gotta ask then nevermind
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  14. #14
    Registered User anotheruser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sherman60 View Post
    9 days? Wow we got some straight amateurs in here.

    Try 3 days. There is a formula and regimen you have to follow but it is about 4 or 5 steps.

    Edit: If you gotta ask then nevermind
    are you talking about passadrugtest?
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  15. #15
    Registered User T2TL's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dethmetalanimal View Post
    i think alot of places don't really care about pot, so much as opiates, coke, ect.so m
    it was at a hospital as a transporter though. Was pretty shocked, would think there would be zero tolerance right
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by anotheruser View Post
    better idea...



    piss off
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  17. #17
    prepare yo anus peteypistol's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sherman60 View Post
    9 days? Wow we got some straight amateurs in here.

    Try 3 days. There is a formula and regimen you have to follow but it is about 4 or 5 steps.

    Edit: If you gotta ask then nevermind
    wut ur talkin bout is wut the op is talkin bout minus the cardio for a week b4
    wait, is doggy in vagina?
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  18. #18
    Registered User _Marcus_'s Avatar
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    9 days? i wouldn't even trip lol, we had a drug test on monday for our football team and they gave us a 10 minute notice >.<
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  19. #19
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    lol @ water poisoning from a gallon of water
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  20. #20
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  21. #21
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    dude they don't test you on the color of your piss. clear just means you're well hydrated.
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by DOSENTEVENLIFT View Post
    dude they don't test you on the color of your piss. clear just means you're well hydrated.
    true but if it's too diluted they will request a secondary testing

    however the dr. from the reddit post above does say that the dilution method with supplemented vitamins B12 and C along with creatine is the best method
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  23. #23
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    ITT op doesnt know how drug tests work

    -If you get the right kit it will work(98% are BS but the 2% do actually work)
    -you dont need to make ur piss yellow. I have never been questioned and everytime i took a piss test it looked like water. Some places will actually test for the wastes found in piss.
    -brb getting h20 poisoning from 1 gallon of water(i have drank 2 gallons + in a single day)
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  24. #24
    prepare yo anus peteypistol's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DOSENTEVENLIFT View Post
    dude they don't test you on the color of your piss. clear just means you're well hydrated.
    some ppl say they do, some say they dont... its vitamin B. not that fuggin hard to find or take. why risk not taking it?

    Originally Posted by OrificeSpunk View Post
    ITT op doesnt know how drug tests work

    -Some places will actually test for the wastes found in piss.


    not sure you know how they work... they do test for the wastes in your piss. How else would they know if its real piss, or warm water from the sink?
    wait, is doggy in vagina?
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