Getting married

[agoody]

need some advice..... i'm getting married in 6 mths and never lived with him before and never been married...pros and cons? thanks all

[Myshell87]

Im not married, BUT, I do live with my partner.

The best advice I can give you is:

- do not nag about things being done, ask politey and dont belittle them (i learnt this one the hard way.. haha)
- when it comes to cooking and cleaning, it should be shared out fairly.. usually Ill wash all the clothes and my partner will wash the dishes each night, Ill clean the bathroom, but he will vaccum and wash the floors...

Remember relationships are about give and take, and it will take atleast a good month or 2 for you guys to get into your own routine, just be patient until that happens..

[erinlee01]

Best advice I can give - don't expect him to change. Just like you won't change, neither will he. If there is anything that makes you think maybe it's not right, think it through and don't assume it will magically disappear.

[britchick884]

Best advice I can give - don't expect him to change. Just like you won't change, neither will he. If there is anything that makes you think maybe it's not right, think it through and don't assume it will magically disappear.

^^^^^^ great advice!

[KimPossible98]

From someone who is having a really difficult time with their marriage right now, the best advice I can give is:

Do 80% and expect 20%. Each person will always think they are doing more in the relationship.

Oh and communicate, Communicate, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!!!!

[sbilyeu75]

As someone who has been divorced and am now remarried. I would suggest living together first. You learn an awful lot about a person after shacking up with them for a year or so.

[rockangel]

As someone who has been divorced and am now remarried. I would suggest living together first. You learn an awful lot about a person after shacking up with them for a year or so.

Oh, i soooo second this.

Had a bf of 2 and a half yrs, we moved in together and it made me GLAD i never married him. It really opened my eyes to the way things would have been (me doing all the work, him partying all the time), Dont get me wrong, he was a good guy... caring, sweet, affectionate..... but his ideals and my ideals were WAY WAY different when it came to divison of chores, paying bills, running the household, etc.

I also lived with my now hubby before we were married, and while we still have some issues, we mostly agree with each other on the big points which i think has made our marriage last where many of my friends have not. Nearly 7 yrs.

[varukers]

Yeahh I don't think marrying someone you've never even lived with is a very wise choice. It's kinda like when people get married after knowing each other for 3 months.

[Lunu]

I can't imagine not living with someone before getting married. That said, a lot of people do it!

I agree with communication. If something bothers you, lay it out on the table thoughtfully, immediately - don't let anything fester!!!!!

And congrats

[ArizonaEli]

I'm just getting un-married after 15 years together. It was mostly good though, so no regrets. Good luck!

[seanb1979]

Yeahh I don't think marrying someone you've never even lived with is a very wise choice. It's kinda like when people get married after knowing each other for 3 months.

Ah, bout time that happened.... thanks mods


As for OP, please don't bother him to put the seat down. We hate that and you can just as easily put it down as we have to put it up when we take a leak. It's a fair trade off, imo.

[Dave1958]

dont nag. Tell him and forget it. If its not done, then he has no one to blame.

The other thing is sex, in a relationship, its the glue. If you dont do it, then you get out of the habit and one or the other turns to something or someone else

[TeayotaSoupra]

dont nag. Tell him and forget it. If its not done, then he has no one to blame.

The other thing is sex, in a relationship, its the glue. If you dont do it, then you get out of the habit and one or the other turns to something or someone else

And the male gets REALLY bitchy without it!!!! Even if I don't feel like it I gotta throw him something once in a while lol

[Mattxj]

dont nag. Tell him and forget it. If its not done, then he has no one to blame.

The other thing is sex, in a relationship, its the glue. If you dont do it, then you get out of the habit and one or the other turns to something or someone else

Bingo.

[varukers2]

Ah, bout time that happened.... thanks mods


As for OP, please don't bother him to put the seat down. We hate that and you can just as easily put it down as we have to put it up when we take a leak. It's a fair trade off, imo.

Are you in love with me or do you just pick random women on forums to harasss?

[5more]

The best advice I can give is not to put expectations on him he does not put on you. Clean house, car, etc. Also, don't forget who you are. Don't lose your identity. Keep close with your girlfriends. Try not to become just so and so's wife, so and so's mom. Oh yeah and sex, keep it hot.

[seanb1979]

Are you in love with me or do you just pick random women on forums to harasss?

I wouldn't think too highly of yourself and I never harass anyone on here. I come here for a few laughs and sometimes to learn something. I just don't think many people appreciate your condescending attitude. Not gonna bother replying anymore on the subject.

[rlw31]

I can't imagine not living together first. Just make sure you're always open with him and good luck.