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  1. #61
    Registered User rusk90's Avatar
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    fleshlight probably, yeah I'm that boring so I never stuck my dick in random household shyt lol
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  2. #62
    Registered User outfoxxed's Avatar
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    well i used to have a job delivering pizzas. and it was a pretty boring job. though sometimes people will answer the door wearing nothing but panties and a bra. even better, sometimes you'll meet the girl who's a little too drunk and looks like she just fuked. one of the perks to the job i guess.

    this one day i was delivering pizza and i kept ringing the doorbell and knocking and whatever. there was noone home. right as i was about to leave i hear the bathroom window open and a girl pop out and say just a minute. then she looked at me and her mouth dropped at these gorgeous biceps and scuplted pecs. She smiled at me and slyly said to me, it'll be quicker if you come in and help me.

    so i came inside and told her i'll wait for you to finish first ma'am. by that time i had a raging boner and the anticipation was too much. out she came with absolutely no clothes and and my boner was just popping out of my pants. then she looked back at me and said wait, let me put on my sexy lingerie. by then i had enough and i just rubbed a quick one into her pizza. i felt the cheese on my dick and the sauce was warm but not too hot. i ejected all my warm goo into her pizza. and boy was there a lot of it. when i was done i left and was too embarassed to say another word.
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  3. #63
    Upton Bros., pls go BeauJ's Avatar
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    inb4 that dude who made a doll and showed the misc
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  4. #64
    Must try to try Withoutreason's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rusk90 View Post
    fleshlight probably, yeah I'm that boring so I never stuck my dick in random household shyt lol
    was the fleshlight in your mums vag gaga va j at the time?
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  5. #65
    Banned Whileitlast's Avatar
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    I ****ed multiple time, and I mean MULTIPLE time my couch. Not the weirdest thing I fuked, but felt the best.

    Get on knee, face a leather couch (important, need to be in leather), put pillow under knee for confort, put lubbed condom on, insert your cock in the crack, put laptop on couch and install POV doggystyle or any porn you like, ram away, cum hard.

    best feeling ever.
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  6. #66
    Banned AdamOm's Avatar
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    jaba the hut

    wut
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  7. #67
    Lift Hard. 1ntensify's Avatar
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  8. #68
    Cutting Frank Drebin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by outfoxxed View Post
    well i used to have a job delivering pizzas. and it was a pretty boring job. though sometimes people will answer the door wearing nothing but panties and a bra. even better, sometimes you'll meet the girl who's a little too drunk and looks like she just fuked. one of the perks to the job i guess.

    this one day i was delivering pizza and i kept ringing the doorbell and knocking and whatever. there was noone home. right as i was about to leave i hear the bathroom window open and a girl pop out and say just a minute. then she looked at me and her mouth dropped at these gorgeous biceps and scuplted pecs. She smiled at me and slyly said to me, it'll be quicker if you come in and help me.

    so i came inside and told her i'll wait for you to finish first ma'am. by that time i had a raging boner and the anticipation was too much. out she came with absolutely no clothes and and my boner was just popping out of my pants. then she looked back at me and said wait, let me put on my sexy lingerie. by then i had enough and i just rubbed a quick one into her pizza. i felt the cheese on my dick and the sauce was warm but not too hot. i ejected all my warm goo into her pizza. and boy was there a lot of it. when i was done i left and was too embarassed to say another word.
    this, happened to me too except it was a guy
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  9. #69
    Registered User xllllos's Avatar
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    this thing, its like an inflatable hulk toy made out of some soft stretchy material felt good as fuk cuz I would imagine this is what a fleshlight feels like
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  10. #70
    Banned Whileitlast's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xllllos View Post
    this thing, its like an inflatable hulk toy made out of some soft stretchy material felt good as fuk cuz I would imagine this is what a fleshlight feels like
    you have a small penis.
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  11. #71
    Train with intensity! JustiNtense's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xllllos View Post
    this thing, its like an inflatable hulk toy made out of some soft stretchy material felt good as fuk cuz I would imagine this is what a fleshlight feels like
    Strong micro penis.
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  12. #72
    R[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̲̅]ution LOLATIK's Avatar
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    in.
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  13. #73
    Registered User Xxaer0's Avatar
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    Actual cyber convo with some bish from online :

    Me: Dressed as a pizza delivery boy, I bring in a steaming hot pepperoni pizza to your doorsteps and ring the bell.

    Her: I open the door dressed only in my see through underwear, give you a long silent promising look, and tell you to come in.

    Me: Smelling, imbibing the aroma of fresh baked pepperoni pizza I step inside, mesmerized by the thought of gooey cheese melted in the middle.

    Her: ??? .... I invite you to my kitchen, and while you are following me, I start taking off my bra, and lean over the kitchen table with my sexy round ass wrapped tight in my panties

    Me: Unable to control myself any longer, groaning from pain of sexual anticipation, I proceed to take out my cawk, and stick in the middle of the gooey goodness, busting out jets of white procreation substance. Upon finishing, unable to hold myself on my feet, I proceed to crawl out of your house and take of in south west direction.

    Her: WTF???

    Me: Hey, so where do you live, wanna go grab some pizza ?

    Her: (no answer)
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  14. #74
    Registered User rjones416's Avatar
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    i remember taking the cap off of a shampoo bottle and trying to fap in that when i was a kid. i also used to hump my bed instead of fapping. felt good as fuk. rubbing my dick on the floor/sofa/carpet felt good too.
    Last edited by rjones416; 12-28-2013 at 01:48 AM.
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  15. #75
    Registered User ruandleo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Whileitlast View Post
    I ****ed multiple time, and I mean MULTIPLE time my couch. Not the weirdest thing I fuked, but felt the best.

    Get on knee, face a leather couch (important, need to be in leather), put pillow under knee for confort, put lubbed condom on, insert your cock in the crack, put laptop on couch and install POV doggystyle or any porn you like, ram away, cum hard.

    best feeling ever.
    Strong bump.... strong post.... strong everything
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  16. #76
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    Fleshlight
    Banana
    Cucumber hollowed out
    Apple pie(not so good)
    Sweet lime
    Balloon
    Plastic bag filled with petroleum jelly
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    Chicken breast (chicken boobs lol)
    Latex glove wrapped in a towel (this one was pretty good!)
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  17. #77
    Registered User YangGuiZi's Avatar
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  18. #78
    Registered User frankk213's Avatar
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    bottle as a kid lol.

    kinda related but when i was in elementary me and a friend revealed our crush and then we told each other what we would do if we had the chance to be with her. Next thing you know in recess were taking turns fking the shiet out of benches just hugging the **** out of it str8 up humping it. lol still cracks me up.
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  19. #79
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    Originally Posted by outfoxxed View Post
    well i used to have a job delivering pizzas. and it was a pretty boring job. though sometimes people will answer the door wearing nothing but panties and a bra. even better, sometimes you'll meet the girl who's a little too drunk and looks like she just fuked. one of the perks to the job i guess.

    this one day i was delivering pizza and i kept ringing the doorbell and knocking and whatever. there was noone home. right as i was about to leave i hear the bathroom window open and a girl pop out and say just a minute. then she looked at me and her mouth dropped at these gorgeous biceps and scuplted pecs. She smiled at me and slyly said to me, it'll be quicker if you come in and help me.

    so i came inside and told her i'll wait for you to finish first ma'am. by that time i had a raging boner and the anticipation was too much. out she came with absolutely no clothes and and my boner was just popping out of my pants. then she looked back at me and said wait, let me put on my sexy lingerie. by then i had enough and i just rubbed a quick one into her pizza. i felt the cheese on my dick and the sauce was warm but not too hot. i ejected all my warm goo into her pizza. and boy was there a lot of it. when i was done i left and was too embarassed to say another word.
    This happened.
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  20. #80
    Brazzers Connoisseur Laxbrah34's Avatar
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    Shampoo bottle-felt bad man stung like a bich
    Paper towel roll-chaffed like hell
    Hair gel container-this one felt pretty good!

    I tried making a fleshlight once out of a cup, latex glove, and two sponges but my dink got stuck (no ebrag) and I had to break the cup
    I fap to your avi ;-)

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  21. #81
    White Knight Captain Skeletor666's Avatar
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    a fifi
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  22. #82
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    My mouth. Srs

    Dat autofallatio.
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  23. #83
    Registered User kbrown225's Avatar
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    my moms baby oil bottle when I was younger.

    also between the matresses. I made a makeshift vagina out of a toilet paper roll, couple pair of rubber gloves, and tons of baby oil inside the empty roll
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  24. #84
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  25. #85
    Registered User tmks88's Avatar
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    tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000) tmks88 is just really nice. (+1000)
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    Originally Posted by dopamine72 View Post
    When I was in boarding school we lived on a fruit tree farm. I ****ed grapefruits on occasion, it actually felt pretty good.
    http://lift2jump.blogspot.com/
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