Goodcat's Misc. Guide to Procrastination

[MrGoodcat]

I procrastinated a lot throughout my high school years. I'm in college now, but during my first semester here and literally all through my high school I was a hardcore procrastinator. I wrote my 5 page literature papers (on books I hadn't read) at lunch and still received good grades, waited until the last minute on assignments, did projects at 2am the night before, etc... I procrastinated, I did well in school, so...sure it's possible.. But you know what? It ****ing sucks. Procrastination just ****ing sucks.

And I know a lot of you guys are procrastinators just like I was

Every time I procrastinated, I regretted the moment I was forced to sit down and work as fast as I could cramming for a test or writing a half-assed paper. It's not a fun feeling to be overwhelmed at all, especially those times where you aren't able to finish the things you've procrastinated. I was forced to solve my problem with this, because:

That **** don't work in college yo

I came with expectations that I could wait until the last minute and still get good grades just by being smart... Turns out, most of the time you can't, the times you can pull it off you get average grades at best, and regardless you wind up exhausted. So here are some of my thoughts and some theories about procrastination... If you are a big procrastinator like I was, this will hopefully show you why you're this way, or what leads you to it in hopes you guys won't make the same mistakes I did in high school and especially in college.

I wrote this guide on a whim because I'm at a roadblock finishing my Summer Nutrition/Cutting Guide... So I figured why not write a little miscellaneous guide. Anyway, here is~

Goodcat's Guide to Procrastination

The procrastinator is usually remarkably optimistic about his or her ability to complete an assignment or a task before a tight deadline. Say you have a paper due in two weeks. Plenty of time, no need to get started now right? The procrastinator is almost ensnared by this false sense of security as time passes. Eventually, you pass the point where you estimated you'd start working on the paper and suddenly you realize you're no longer in control, and there probably isn't enough time left to get it done.

•CAT TIP• If you do it right before class, then you are an ass!

At this point, your body almost goes into a "panic" generated by your Sympathetic Nervous system. This sudden spurt of energy is the source of the feeling:
"I only work well under pressure", which is the procrastinators national anthem. Actually, you're not working well because of the "Pressure" per se, you're working well because you haven't any choice at this point. Progress is being made, but you have lost your freedom.

If you're like me, you can probably pull off completing a huge paper barely in time for class, and probably earn a decent grade; whereupon you'll probably feel one if not all of the following ways:

• Pride of accomplishment (because you pulled it off, sort of)
• Scorn or contempt to the professor or teacher who cannot recognize sub-standard work
• Guilt and irritation for getting an undeserved grade (You've probably thought, "If I actually worked on this paper imagine the grade I would've gotten")

All of these are common to feel, but the net result is reinforcement. You're being positively rewarded for your stupid behavior because you managed to get a decent grade after all. As a result, the counterproductive behavior is repeated time and time again.

Procrastination isn't the most difficult of things I've ever had to analyze. I believe if you're a conscious procrastinator, you can fall into at least one or more of the following categories.

• Perfectionist Procrastinator
  If you're a perfectionist procrastinator, you probably unconsciously judge your self worth by your ability to achieve. You tend to have an "all or nothing" approach to things like schoolwork, sports, relationshits, etc. If you're going to do something, you're going to be the best at it, or you don't see a point in even trying at all. An outstanding performance means an outstanding person, a mediocre performance means a mediocre person. To a perfectionist procrastinator, not trying is a more desirable option than falling short of perfection. I can say for sure that I fall under this category.
• Fear of Limitations Procrastinator
  Though you may not admit it to yourself, some people procrastinate in order to avoid realizing the truth about what they can accomplish. As long as you procrastinate, and do assignments in tiny crammed windows of time, you never really have to confront the real limits of your abilities, whatever they might be. If you procrastinate and fail, you can blame the failure on taking 20 minutes to write a paper as opposed to 3 days like others, and never have to place blame directly on personal shortcomings. Some fear of limitations procrastinators are afraid to put 100% of their effort into something in case it fails, and there is no one to blame but themselves for not being good enough.
• Next Step Procrastinators
  So maybe you don't wait until the last minute to begin the assignment, but if you suddenly get stuck, and don't know what to do next. To you, it frequently seems easier to procrastinate than to make the leap to the next level of your goal. Maybe you wrote the intro to a paper, but don't really have any solid ideas on where to take it from there... It all seems so vague and there are so many options, so you go on thinking that you'll figure it out eventually, inspiration will come to you and you can work on it then. Unfortunately, most of the time this doesn't happen, and next step procrastinators end up doing the final 90% of their assignment at the last minute...Or even worse, trying to do it at the last minute and still being stuck at that creative roadblock.
• Overwhelming Task Procrastinators
  This usually applies to huge items that you immediately know would be impossible to do at the last minute. Being hit with a huge assignment or an overwhelming task can immobilize you with anxiety and fear. Because frankly, it's going to be a huge pain in the ass to get done. When something has large complexity and multiple aspects to it, overwhelming task procrastinators probably don't even know where or how to begin, and just dread how much work they'll have to be doing in the future. Facing a task like this, and fearing failure, overwhelming task procrastinators likely choose to procrastinate rather than confronting fear.
• Masturbation-Procrastination
  Don't even lie you're guilty of this AND YOU KNOW IT. Basically all I'm saying here is don't have 1 tab of information open on your browser and 386 tabs of un-greased, backdoor hammertime barnyard lovemaking sessions (or whatever it is you crazy kids are into these days). Oh, and just a word of advice... When emailing professors homework, double check that you've actually attached your assignment and not your porn... I know a kid who did this. I still make fun of him for it.

•CAT TIP• On second thought, save yourself some work and try E-mailing your professor some of your favorite un-greased backdoor hammertime porn.
Either he'll like it and give you an A+, or he'll be disgusted and expel you, it's a 50/50 chance!

Solving This Problem Officer?

Well I'm really not going to sit here and tell you all the things you can do to not procrastinate. I'm not your mother or your academic adviser, and you probably already know how to solve your problem simply by getting started earlier on things. However, there are some general tips that really helped me keep things in line.

1. Don't "Put Things Out of your Head"
   You know what's going to happen if you keep putting something off. You know how ****ty its going to be for you in the future, so you dismiss these thoughts and you avoid thinking about it, don't you? No. Badcat. Face that thought head on, and ask yourself why the hell you would ever voluntarily put yourself in that position, and how much more you'll benefit in the long term if you face this task head on.
2. Be Reasonable
   There's no way in hell you should expect yourself to do multiple or huge tasks in one sitting. I sure as hell don't. Set reasonable goals for yourself, ones that are massive and looming that can cause intimidation. Just go a little bit further at a time.
3. Divide Overwhelming Tasks
   
   This one is important. Are you going to do something huge? Like a project or a research paper?

   •CAT TIP• Or a black guy.

   If this is the case, then just try and get one small step done at a time. Chip away at it, and give yourself some time limits for each step. This way, the task becomes much less burdensome.
4. USE A GODDAMN PLANNER
   The best thing I ever decided to do was use my planner. Write literally everything in it. You're able to see which weeks have tons of stuff due and which weeks are easy. You'll never forget about an assignment, you'll never forget about a test. I can't stress how much one of these things helped me. I used to just "remember" everything I needed to do, and sometimes would slip up. Having a planner really improves your focus and overall work ethic.

In any case, these are just my general thoughts about avoiding procrastination habits. If you were reading the types of procrastinators I listed above, and could identify with one or more of them, then I strongly urge you to change you ways... Just because I used to do the same thing, and I know how exhausting it is. You'll do better, you'll feel better, and life will get better. I promise. I'm sure you've all heard this a million times before and I'm really not trying to be like your teachers/parents/cats... But it really is your future that you're working for. So much of your life is spent in school, and as I've said many times before:

If you're going to dedicate so much of your time to something, you might as well be the best at it.

And with that I'll end this little guide and wish you the best of luck with you school work.

Regards,

Goodcat

[jake1224]

Decided to blow off reading thread








AM I DOIN IT RITE?

Edit: read thread. very many lol's at "relation****"

Edit again: v do that instead. i wanna see if you know your stuff.

[superstrongboy]

goodcat do the cut thread man, dont procrastinate else you'redoingitwrong

[Dimon999]

Thank you goodcat, very informative. + had some lulz

keep them cat tips coming

[Tluas]

in. will read later

but i'm going to procrastinate for now. (semi srs)

[xHDx]

Goodcat, you are a very intelligent poster. You make me lulz

[Le_Beaudry]

Reading this instead of studying for my exam tomorrow.

I hate the feeling I get from procrastinating but I do it anyways.

[diskin8]

Lol, nice I can tell you now that I'm a perfectionist procrastinator. Even with college work I still leave everything until the last minute or for my exams I leave studying to the day before. had exams last week, some at 6:30pm, I'd go into the library at say 10 that morning and would do everything else but study, go gym, chat to friends, anything but study, I'd end up studying for an hour before the exam, rather than the whole day.

feelsbadman.jpg

[WannaBeATank]

Yet again another great thread by the GoodCat.

[jam88]

I consider myself a professional procrastinator. Here is a sample of my work:

Applying to university program that I want to get into most:
- submitted application at 11:58pm the day before the deadline
- yes, 2 mins before deadline (dead srs, i think i SS'd it)

Sending my portfolio in to be further evaluated for the same program:
- day before deadline again
- post office closes at 5:00pm
- by the time i handed it over to the post man it was 4:55pm.
- feelsgoodman


I landed up getting accepted (in 2008) and im still in the program.

[Zuoi]

great thread bro!

[McLarenGTR]

should be studying for midterms right now. already took one history part which i ended up studying all of monday night. had no idea it was even this tuesday... luckily we had a snowday so it was moved up until today. crammed and thought it was easy.

however tomorrow i have another test... this time they are reporting 4-6 inches of snow, most of it coming heavy in the morning. not sure if will study.

[Tluas]

Good read.

I'm a Perfectionist and Overwhelming Task procrastinator. I can't say I'm a Masturbation procrastinator in particular, though, I get the idea and I do it with other things like watching NHL highlights.

However, most of the time, I cannot do assignments like writing a paper when there are other tabs open. Really, when I'm writing a paper, the only windows open are iTunes, Dictionary.com and Microsoft Word. I fall more into the 'all or nothing' category.

lol @ "Solving This Problem Officer?"

I don't use a planner, but I personally have to write everything down. Anything that is bothering me, or anything that I have to remember needs to be recorded on a tangible piece of paper whether it's short term goals, things that are weighing on my mind or a simple 'to do' list. And very much like putting things out of your head, that paper just goes straight to my desk drawer and is rarely ever to be seen or thought of head on again. :/

[Duodecillian]

Thanks, Goodcat. It all applies to me, I always love your articles bro.

[MrGoodcat]

goodcat do the cut thread man, dont procrastinate else you'redoingitwrong

It's almost finished... I'm just not sure what else to include at this point. :|

[Ka0s]

I was gonna read the entire guide, but then I thought "meh Ill just wait til later"

[YungMula]

good thread GOODCAT.

I procrastinate a lot... upgrading courses this year so far ive only finished 1/3 courses... these are high school courses, they should only take 1-2 months each at most. Hell, I know someone that did grade 12 biology in a week...

im def a bit of Perfectionist, fear of limitations and next step.

[diskin8]

I consider myself a professional procrastinator. Here is a sample of my work:

Applying to university program that I want to get into most:
- submitted application at 11:58pm the day before the deadline
- yes, 2 mins before deadline (dead srs, i think i SS'd it)

Sending my portfolio in to be further evaluated for the same program:
- day before deadline again
- post office closes at 5:00pm
- by the time i handed it over to the post man it was 4:55pm.
- feelsgoodman


I landed up getting accepted (in 2008) and im still in the program.

lol I just realised. This doesn't just happen to me with my academic life. This is part of my everyday life and it's bad. Choirs - all left to the last minute, getting buses - all left to the last minute, getting to college - I get there at either 5 to or 5 past 9, going to bed at a certain time - I don't go until an hour later. To be honest I'm most of the time late for things, never early. Feels bad, much rather have good time management.

[MikeW259]

Will read...


























































tomorrow.

Am I doing it right?





Edit: FAWK...a few people beat me to the joke...DAMN!
Good thread though. Im adding it to my Favorites now.

[MrGoodcat]

So many procrastination jokes....

You people are punniest guys around.
All your puns are punderful.
They should call you Attila the pun.
But then you'd get locked up in the state punitentiary



...Lol.

[GALICKGUNVEGETA]

Is it ironic that I'm reading this instead of doing my homework?

[Nullery76]

So many procrastination jokes....

You people are punniest guys around.
All your puns are punderful.
They should call you Attila the pun.
But then you'd get locked up in the state punitentiary



...Lol.

I like all of this

And solid thread too, good stuff

[Tousif24]

Did not read....

[superstrongboy]

So many procrastination jokes....

You people are punniest guys around.
All your puns are punderful.
They should call you Attila the pun.
But then you'd get locked up in the state punitentiary



...Lol.

didn't bother to process it through my brain. will do it later. amidoinitrite?

[DyingStar]

i should be getting ready to go to the gym but i am procrastinating getting dressed and i have to be ready by 8pm.

i have both a honors chem and ap programming exam tomorrow. Only studied for 20 minutes....

[G5P]

Did not read....

cool fuk1n story...and the reason for posting that was?



ps-nice thread lol

[MrGoodcat]

i should be getting ready to go to the gym but i am procrastinating getting dressed and i have to be ready by 8pm.

i have both a honors chem and ap programming exam tomorrow. Only studied for 20 minutes....

My HS honors chem class was a ****ing joke. Has some old fat lady with a lisp who didn't know **** and didn't teach ****. I had to study/cheat so hard to get a B in that class.

[MrGoodcat]

Shameless self bump

[N4J4R]

I don't know how you do it, but you seem to write some damn good articles. Easy to read and follow, good job

[MrGoodcat]

Bumping for no particular reason.