How do women view a guy with a lot of previous partners?

[michvolley]

She sucks just like all women. But you didn't answer the ? about if the guy slept with ugly chicks. Lots of girls sleep with unattractive guys. (see whore I previously spoke about)

Hope you get over that anger bud. It's not true and you'll find that out someday. I said I guess I wouldn't know if he slept with girls he didn't find attractive .. unless he made it a point to tell me. I never really got that specific when grilling potential boyfriends. But if he did I would wonder why he'd have sex with someone he's not even attracted to. I know people do and when it's almost the norm for a person that to me says that there is something else going on with this person's motives. I think the point is that no matter what you have to consider a person's character. There will be low lifes who've had a lot of partners and low lifes who haven't, and there will be decent people who've had a lot of partners and decent people who haven't. The number isn't the whole picture.

[DERJEVPOO]

Hope you get over that anger bud. It's not true and you'll find that out someday. I said I guess I wouldn't know if he slept with girls he didn't find attractive .. unless he made it a point to tell me. I never really got that specific when grilling potential boyfriends. But if he did I would wonder why he'd have sex with someone he's not even attracted to. I know people do and when it's almost the norm for a person that to me says that there is something else going on with this person's motives. I think the point is that no matter what you have to consider a person's character. There will be low lifes who've had a lot of partners and low lifes who haven't, and there will be decent people who've had a lot of partners and decent people who haven't. The number isn't the whole picture.

I aint even mad

[HapaHaoleOkole]

Since there are 2 or 3 threads every week in RH about what/how many makes a girl a slut but it's never really debated the other way, I'd like to know how women view this from their side.

Does it matter to you if a guy has been with a lot of girls? If so why?

Does it matter if he has had little to none? If so why?

My worry would be that you don't always test positive for an STD right away, sometimes it can take months to show up in a test.

I would prefer someone who hasn't had many partners but who admits that they had many or not many and how do you know it is the truth.

You can contract diseases even with protection and some of them like Herpes you can get from kissing or oral sex, both male and female and once you have it, you have it for life.

[SexyChic]

I lol'ed when someone in this thread said that the medical community exaggerates the prevalence of stds....Speaking from experience (I work in a Dermatologist's office), we see lots of cases of Herpes and genital warts especially on men and they aren't even aware they have it. They come in like omg I have this weird bump in my netherregion...must be a bug bite? And we are like ummmm noooo not quite!


I got married at 19 and my number was 2....At the time, I wouldn't want a guy with high numbers. Now I think it's more important for the person to be clean and have a healthy outlook on sex (not some sex addict/perv). I think age has a lot to do with your views and whether or not you've had bad experiences to taint those views.

[NOVA888]

I lol'ed when someone in this thread said that the medical community exaggerates the prevalence of stds....Speaking from experience (I work in a Dermatologist's office), we see lots of cases of Herpes and genital warts especially on men and they aren't even aware they have it. They come in like omg I have this weird bump in my netherregion...must be a bug bite? And we are like ummmm noooo not quite!


I got married at 19 and my number was 2....At the time, I wouldn't want a guy with high numbers. Now I think it's more important for the person to be clean and have a healthy outlook on sex (not some sex addict/perv). I think age has a lot to do with your views and whether or not you've had bad experiences to taint those views.

Hmm, good argument. Thanks also for the info on the 'bumps.' I'll be passing that on to a few of my recently divorced female friends that are now in bed-hopping mode.

[SexyChic]

Hmm, good argument. Thanks also for the info on the 'bumps.' I'll be passing that on to a few of my recently divorced female friends that are now in bed-hopping mode.

LoL! Tell them to look out for bumps or weird scabby looking areas/rashes Oh and if they have (or had in the past) cold sores, they have herpes. Although it is not limited to your mouth or genitals...I've seen it on a calf and on a neck before. Both had no clue what it was.
Unfortunately there is no way to detect HPV though! Very scary.

[seanb1979]

LoL! Tell them to look out for bumps or weird scabby looking areas/rashes Oh and if they have (or had in the past) cold sores, they have herpes. Although it is not limited to your mouth or genitals...I've seen it on a calf and on a neck before. Both had no clue what it was.
Unfortunately there is no way to detect HPV though! Very scary.

That's 2 different types of herpes (simplex a and b, a being the cold sore variety) and iirc almost all women develop some form of hpv at one point or another.

[SexyChic]

In my books, herpes is herpes and it is very contagious. I can't argue with HPV because there isn't enough research on it.

[pryncess77]

LMAO. 2 years ago I dated a 42 year old guy who had only been with 4 girls. HORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIBLE. Will never date a semi-virgin again...ever.

My current man is a self proclaimed WH0RE....lmao...and I love him for it His grand total is somewhere in the low 1000, lol (he's 44). But what i like about him is that he is honest, and although he's not PROUD of it in his later life, he's gone through a lot of self reflection to figure out why he was so sexually deviant.

I think that as long as 2 people have trust and communication in their relationships, things like 'former # of sexual partners' shouldn't mean a thing. I know a lot of people will disagree, but I'm a very sexually openminded person who believes that 'sex' is a little different from 'making love'. Once is purely physical, the other is mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical.

[Fit-Mom]

His grand total is somewhere in the low 1000, lol (he's 44).

Normally I don't care about numbers or let it affect me, but 1000!!! Never heard that before from a guy, and if I did I don't know if I'd believe him . But I completely agree with you, in a good relationship things like former number of sexual partners should not matter at all.

(But 1000!! he must know a few interesting things or two )

[cirque]

I would be extremely uncomfortable with a man's high number. I personally view sex as intimate and hope my partner would view it equally. I don't want no man slut. It doesn't matter if he has little or none, unless it is due to his personality, in which case his personality would be the issue, not his numbers. I do think that my view will change as I grow older, and it depends on how old the man is. It's a given that the older people are, the higher their numbers (in most cases).

[Jpenn89]

When I read some of the responses to this thread I am actually genuinely suprosed at how many people don't care about the number of partners their man has had. Obviously the double standard that exsists does so because we allow it to. I woman who will sleep with many men is a slut/whore/skank or whatever variation of the word you would like to use because that is how MEN will see her. An easy lay and a quick dump. On the other hand being so tolerant and willing to overlook how many women a man has been with makes it OK for them to do it.

When we are young (Like myself) we all have indiscretions. you know the years between 16-25 that (Most of you) really aren't looking for anything real (for the most part/generally for men) And the women at those ages want something real. So much so that many times she is willing to overlook the fact that in the last 2 months he has been with 12 different women. That should be a huge RED FLAG that he is just going to use you for what he wants and never call you again.

I personally HATE double standards, and this is one of my least favorite as it makes it okay for men to make a bad decision (Yes Indiscriminate sex IS a bad decision) where for a woman it is not. And why is that? If the woman makes the same decision with a man she barely knows she could end up with an STD that causes cervical cancer, She could get pregnant with a child that she doesn't remember/know who the father is, and possibly have to live with the guilt of an abortion for the rest of her life. There is SO MUCH more at stake for a woman to sleep around then there is a man, therfore we have to be smarter about it.

So no offense to you promiscuious ladies/men... I find it really disrespectful to yourself to let someone in your pants that you barely know. And that goes both ways. No matter your sex it's a bad decision... but for some reason men have a hard time admitting that it is wrong because their reprecussions can be so much less severe then a womans.

[Fit-Mom]

When I read some of the responses to this thread I am actually genuinely suprosed at how many people don't care about the number of partners their man has had. Obviously the double standard that exsists does so because we allow it to. I woman who will sleep with many men is a slut/whore/skank or whatever variation of the word you would like to use because that is how MEN will see her. An easy lay and a quick dump. On the other hand being so tolerant and willing to overlook how many women a man has been with makes it OK for them to do it.

I think you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. Just because we don't think a man's number being high is a good or bad thing, doesn't mean that we think it's okay for a double standard to exist. I think that BOTH men and women should not be judged by the number of sexual partners they have had in the past.

And the situations you posted about promiscuity being bad because "women might not know who the father is because they get pregnant" or "STDs" and all that are not situations that we are promoting or saying we are in favor of. I don't think any of those situations are GOOD situations.

However, I do believe that both women and men should not be judged by their sexual decisions, as long as they're being responsible. This means that if they have multiple sexual partners, in a short amount of time, as long as they're being safe and responsible I see no reason for this to be something someone should be judged over. But everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I don't think I'd ever be with a guy who would judge me over how many sexual partners I've had in the past.

[Lazybaby2]

Since there are 2 or 3 threads every week in RH about what/how many makes a girl a slut but it's never really debated the other way, I'd like to know how women view this from their side.

Does it matter to you if a guy has been with a lot of girls? If so why?

Does it matter if he has had little to none? If so why?

I dont trust men with too many partners, i think they might have issues.

[varukers]

Whoa a lot of replies... I didn't read any of them so I'm probably just repeating someone else but personally I wouldn't be interested with a guy who has been with an abnormal amount of women.
It shows that they lack standards. There's a chance they're a "serial dater" who gets bored easily and I wouldn't want to waste my time trying to hold onto their attention for fear they'll leave me once someone else comes along.

[explosionshurt]

personally it doesn't bother me if he's never been with anyone before me, however it will bother me quite a little if he's been with a ridiculously high number of sexual partners. it wouldn't affect the relationship if i was seriously into him though

[CottonCandy_gal]

Since there are 2 or 3 threads every week in RH about what/how many makes a girl a slut but it's never really debated the other way, I'd like to know how women view this from their side.

Does it matter to you if a guy has been with a lot of girls? If so why?

Does it matter if he has had little to none? If so why?

That is a hard question to anwser.
I honestly don't care but ,I kinda do at the same time.
Sometimes I want to know how many partners they have had. I know its in there pasts but I think its good to be open about that kind of stuff, but just not get into spacific details about there past relationships. Just so women can aware themselves before getting into bed with a man.

Like what the other girls have said ,
"As long as there not carrying the cooties!"

I had dated a guy in my teen years who used to get picked on as a virgin. I doesn't tend to bother me if a guy doesn't have alot of experience in the bedroom either.

[SteezyChr]

i find it to be low class for lack of a better term, including females and males.

But im an elitist prick, so......

[seanb1979]

It shows that they lack standards.

No, not really, although thats possibly the case. Some guys are just very skilled at getting laid. I lost count somewhere in my mid 20s and have found women to not be bothered by it, although very few actually ask about it. I've always had standards, too.

[varukers]

No, not really, although thats possibly the case. Some guys are just very skilled at getting laid. I lost count somewhere in my mid 20s and have found women to not be bothered by it, although very few actually ask about it. I've always had standards, too.

Standards I mean all of the above, not just looks. Sleeping with a woman who is slow enough to get duped by a man's "skills" shows that the man doesn't have high standards otherwise he wouldn't be sleeping with sluts and easy women.
I don't know, but in my opinion that statement you said about guys being skilled at getting laid... is just disgusting lol.
I think a guy who purposely tries to smash a lot of women is either full of himself or a massive pervert.

[snohwit]

If his black book is as thick as the phone book then that may be a problem...lol

Seriously though...
I wouldn't want a guy who has slept with too many women(i.e.man-ho) but I wouldn't really want one who's never touched a girl in his life either.

[PlyHrdOrGoHome]

I think my answer would have to be yes because unsafe sex practices significantly increase your chances of catching an STD. Using a condom can protect you from Gonnorrhea, hepatitis, HIV, and chlamydia. However, HPV, syphillis, and herpes are transmitted skin-to-skin so your chances of contracting one of those are significantly increased, especially if you're having sex with multiple partners. It's not a risk I'm willing to take.

[kcox07]

a gentleman never kisses and tells.



how would i know how many people he's been with unless he tells me?

And if he's quoting some outrageous number he's either:

A) lying
b) a blabbermouth


neither are positive qualities.


oh, except for sean.

i agree!!!!

[ajangel25]

I think my answer would have to be yes because unsafe sex practices significantly increase your chances of catching an STD. Using a condom can protect you from Gonnorrhea, hepatitis, HIV, and chlamydia. However, HPV, syphillis, and herpes are transmitted skin-to-skin so your chances of contracting one of those are significantly increased, especially if you're having sex with multiple partners. It's not a risk I'm willing to take.

I know- in nursing school we learned that 1 in 4 people have herpes, and I think it was 80-90% don't know! Herpes isn't something that is normally tested for when you get an STD check- you usually have to request it.

[LongLefty]

However, my personal preference is knowing that he's had a number of scintillating conquests, and that he chose 'me' above everyone else. I love that feeling.

Haha, this ^^^. Totally agree. This goes for me also, I would hate to think the only reason why her and I were together was because 'the first one in, wins' mentality she may have.

I'm always weary when a girl is curious and keeps pushing to know about my past relationships. I've found it means one of these things
1. they are trying to feed their insecurities to justify some reason to leave
2. trying to find some tid bit that they can throw back at me later at an opportune time.
3. are indirectly trying to make you feel guilty and in a roundabout way trying to tell you 'don't play me like the rest of those girls you've dated'
4. and the most common 'the jealousy mongers'. who ask about your past, so you'll ask about their past so they can coincidentally bring up that amazing guy, who treated them like a princess, that you'll have to measure up to, or else LOL

Just like in an interrogation, the more vague you are, the better off you'll be LOL Some stupid line like 'lets concentrate on our future, rather than our past' may work, and if it does, ask if she's got any sisters for me bwahahaha

[juliacheh]

I'm not asking guys about their prior relationships, none of my business.
Or better to say I WASN'T, dating is in the past.

[LongLefty]

I'm not asking guys about their prior relationships, none of my business.
Or better to say I WASN'T, dating is in the past.

Say wuh???

Please don't give me this false sense of security that there are still some sane ones out there, only to be waiting to have the rug pulled out from under me.... again. LOL

[JamesRoux]

Since this thread is still going I have a question for woman here. What do woman consider a average number of partners? Is 10 insignificant average or too many? Just asking out of curiosity thanks.

[Carlycavwifey]

Since this thread is still going I have a question for woman here. What do woman consider a average number of partners? Is 10 insignificant average or too many? Just asking out of curiosity thanks.

10 isn't a lot and sounds average but once you start getting into the 20s 30s 40s and beyond now thats too many IMO. Twenty partners isn't that bad unless your 18yrs old, but if you're 25 yrs old with 20 or less partners then thats acceptable.

[Miranda]

10 isn't a lot and sounds average but once you start getting into the 20s 30s 40s and beyond now thats too many IMO. Twenty partners isn't that bad unless your 18yrs old, but if you're 25 yrs old with 20 or less partners then thats acceptable.

i find it odd anyone would actually draw a quantifiable matrix on the subject.

is someone OK with 35 partners, acceptable with 36 and a slut with 38 while accounting for negative correlation with the amount of years lived?