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  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    I respectfully disagree.

    Myself and several other dudes (one was a jackt 5'10 bodybuilder) can't even get so much as a reply on those sites (from average women) and on the extremely rare occasion a message pops up in my inbox it's from a legit 250lb 2/10 female with several kids, no qualifications or job.

    I've been on numerous dating websites for about 2 years now and the pattern and complaints from men are the same. I am quite verbose and do stand out from the crowd in my approach (with regard to my profile / message content), so that isn't an issue.

    The issue is that even average women recieve 20+ messages a day on these sites. Hot women get 70+. I get 1 every 3 or so weeks, from the type of woman described above.

    Real talk, objectively I outclass 95% of the women on POF (qualifications, no kids / baggage, job, aesthetics, height, level of intelligence, hobbies, social awareness, profile content and so forth). The level of male interest / white knightery artifically inflates the womens standards / ego's, faaaaaaar beyond real life levels. An average chick would be lucky to get hit on 2 or 3 times on a night out here in the UK - can you imagine what getting 30 advances a day would do to your standards? You are now in a position to cherry pick a good 4 points above your "league" so to speak.
    You're doing it wrong. I made an account with my avi pic and a few others and forgot about it for a while... checked it recently and it was LOADED with cute girls.
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  2. #32
    Registered User newlyminted's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Radio89 View Post
    (serious)

    Never thought about making a profile on such a website, always thought it was kind of silly. But, with how flakey some chicks i met have been, i am considering trying it.

    So how many of you used either of these sites, and actually can say something about it? Good, bad, or the ugly? Im trying to get opinion of those that actually used these, not someone how didn't.

    And are chicks on pof really that fat?
    I have used OKcupid and honestly I had a pretty good experience. Obviously I'm coming from it from the female perspective, but I've met some pretty cool guys. The people who have messaged me range to really attractive, to attractive, but not my type, to "good lord, do you shower!?"

    You are going to find unattractive people on a website just like you find unattractive people at bars and clubs. There is a variety of reasons people choose the online route.

    For me: I was just out of a serious relationships, and work as a freelance writer. I'm not a big bar/club kind of person and my social sphere did not involve any men that I would want to pursue a relationship with, so I decided to expand my sphere online. It worked out pretty well. Met a ton of really cool people. A few I dated, a few I friended and several just didn't pan out in anyway.
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  3. #33
    Thick. Solid. Tight. Agentdark45's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DemetriaF View Post
    Yes, you are indeed spot on here. Women do get flooded with messages, and I got so many that my head was indeed spinning.

    However, what men don't realize is that females do read every single letter she receives. We're simply too curious, and ego driven not not to. However, it's the same way it is when scouring these boards. Some headers are better than others. And some headers show great potential, but when you click on the thread, we sometimes encounter a wall of text, or something that's completely indecipherable, bizarre, or not tantalizing enough to warrant a response. We respond to what we want to respond to, or to threads that feel 'relevant.' Women respond to men in this way as well.

    Women open hundreds of online dating responses, and they DO respond to those that appeal to them, whatever that criteria might be. The best advice I'd give is for guys to set themselves apart from others by putting together 'friendlier' ads, that offer a tone that most women 'say' they're attracted to.

    But no, most chicks won't be contacting guys online, even if the dude appears (at least through his ad), that he might be the guy of her dreams. Most of us aren't wired this way to seek that dude out.
    I agree that is some very good advice in general, however in practice I still think e-standards will be the main deciding factor no matter how "good" the message. This was confirmed by several troll POF threads in the misc where dudes posted up male model pics on a crappy profile and messaged women with simply "what's up" or "hey" (i.e the standard bland male POF message) or something crude - and got a fair few responses and first messages.

    Also if you're interested in this sort of stuff check out the following site: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

    OK Cupid write several articles based purely on their site statistics. It is an amazing eye opener into how people work - at least in the virtual world.
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  4. #34
    I LOVE MY KITCHEN! NOVA888's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post

    Also if you're interested in this sort of stuff check out the following site: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

    OK Cupid write several articles based purely on their site statistics. It is an amazing eye opener into how people work - at least in the virtual world.
    That's interesting!

    So maybe us people of color should just say we're White folks with good tans. Throw in a fun Zodiac sign, and we're made!!!! :P
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  5. #35
    Thick. Solid. Tight. Agentdark45's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DemetriaF View Post
    That's interesting!

    So maybe us people of color should just say we're White folks with good tans. Throw in a fun Zodiac sign, and we're made!!!! :P
    Lmao, I was tempted at one point to say I was born in Brazil or Italy just to see what difference it made.

    Check out their other article "Your Looks and Your Inbox" - now that one will blow your mind as to how females and males respond to looks.
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  6. #36
    Radical Atheist 9987's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kingof_queens View Post
    I bought an Axe deoderant stick today because it smelled very nice, and put some on RIGHT before I left to meet her. Well I just got home, and took my shirt off to shower, and fuk me my pits smell like I wasn't wearing any deoderant at all! Fuk fuk fuk FFFFUUUUUUKKKKK. The worst part, is the whole time, I'd get a whiff of it, and just assumed it was someone else, because i'm always on top of my hygiene, and never had this problem wearing old spice.
    Axe is shiznit. Don't use it.
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  7. #37
    Registered User djdizzydave's Avatar
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    i had to check out that OKCUPID sh*t for curiousity.. iwasdissappoint.jpg wow, there wasn't anything above a 5 on there, thats being generous.
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  8. #38
    Bigger, Stronger, Faster. kingof_queens's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OmegaUK View Post
    Man, you need to stop thinking about when she will reply. If she does, cool, but leave it a while before replying back (unless its an order to get round hers).

    In the meantime carry on with your normal everyday life.
    Relax brah, I was just giving an update, lol in case anyone was curious. There not much else to think about on a boring sunday afternoon.

    My point was that for whatever reason, she is obviously not interested in meeting again. Her loss....on to the next one.

    Originally Posted by Radio89 View Post
    AgentDark, no homo, but for a good looking guy yourself to be only hit on by fatties, you just might have persuaded me to never try online dating. Jesus.

    I consider myself good looking, and most of my female friends would agree. If the fatties are the only thing it has to offer, I will take my chances at bars, or the college sluts at my uni.
    Bud the fatties are the only ones who will send YOU a message, but these sites usually have decent girls. If your good looking, and you know how to write creative messages, then you can usually get a number.

    The hot girls will almost never be the ones to send you a message first, for many reason, main one usually being that she wouldn't want to come off as desperate/slut, etc.

    It's free, so why not?

    Originally Posted by 9987 View Post
    Axe is shiznit. Don't use it.
    Learned that the hard way last night.
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  9. #39
    Registered User telxos's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    Case point:

    One of my main profile pics:

    You need to tone it down. That pic to the average girl is just going to scream "i'm just trying to get laid", which is the worst thing to give off if you are just trying to get laid online.
    Take some pics that you can't even tell you are in shape. Those pics you have would probably only work with cougars. Especially seperated cougars, 28-38..Even then though its too full of yourself looking so to speak. It is better to look better than your pic on the first date, especially since most people don't do this.
    As far as the women that message you first, the only women that message the guy are ones that people are not writing.

    Also keep in mind not all women are equally available. You have no idea who has not got a message in 3 days and who has sent 20 emails back and forth and meeting some dude for coffee that night. Maybe she would have wrote back but that dude got to her first.

    I mostly like POF though to meet women who are not white. OKCupid here is all dip**** art student hipster girls.
    Last edited by telxos; 11-07-2010 at 02:58 PM.
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  10. #40
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    Originally Posted by kingof_queens View Post



    Bud the fatties are the only ones who will send YOU a message, but these sites usually have decent girls. If your good looking, and you know how to write creative messages, then you can usually get a number.

    The hot girls will almost never be the ones to send you a message first, for many reason, main one usually being that she wouldn't want to come off as desperate/slut, etc.

    It's free, so why not?
    Iv been just kinda of unsure if I want to use it. Especially since you gotta put up personal info and pics. So if its actually worth it, id do it, but otherwise...
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  11. #41
    Thick. Solid. Tight. Agentdark45's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by telxos View Post
    You need to tone it down. That pic to the average girl is just going to scream "i'm just trying to get laid", which is the worst thing to give off if you are just trying to get laid online.
    Take some pics that you can't even tell you are in shape. Those pics you have would probably only work with cougars. Especially seperated cougars, 28-38..Even then though its too full of yourself looking so to speak. It is better to look better than your pic on the first date, especially since most people don't do this.
    As far as the women that message you first, the only women that message the guy are ones that people are not writing.

    Also keep in mind not all women are equally available. You have no idea who has not got a message in 3 days and who has sent 20 emails back and forth and meeting some dude for coffee that night. Maybe she would have wrote back but that dude got to her first.

    I mostly like POF though to meet women who are not white. OKCupid here is all dip**** art student hipster girls.
    See above posts as to why your pics need to be way OTT to get noticed on POF. Average pics = die in a fire.

    But yeah Ok Cupid is hipster central.

    Originally Posted by Radio89 View Post
    Iv been just kinda of unsure if I want to use it. Especially since you gotta put up personal info and pics. So if its actually worth it, id do it, but otherwise...
    Might as well sign up - who knows, you might just develop a chubby chasing fetish! (no chubby chaser)
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  12. #42
    Registered User Jon85's Avatar
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    I met my current gf off of okcupid
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    Originally Posted by kingof_queens View Post
    I just got back from a date with a solid 8/10 that I met on POF...she is a dancer (aiming to dance for sports teams), goes to school full time for a degree in communications, and seemed to be an overall well rounded chick. I definitely liked her, she was HOT, but I think I unintentionally fuked it up.

    I bought an Axe deoderant stick today because it smelled very nice, and put some on RIGHT before I left to meet her. Well I just got home, and took my shirt off to shower, and fuk me my pits smell like I wasn't wearing any deoderant at all! Fuk fuk fuk FFFFUUUUUUKKKKK. The worst part, is the whole time, I'd get a whiff of it, and just assumed it was someone else, because i'm always on top of my hygiene, and never had this problem wearing old spice.

    We hugged before she left, and i'm afraid she probably got a nice whiff of it. She said to text her before she left, but I think she was just being nice.

    Fuking axe, never again, throwing that sh*t out tonight.
    Originally Posted by retardedtroll View Post
    Their body wash smells good though. But yeah, I would never use their deoderant. Or the body spray cuz it smells way too strong.
    lmao.. but axe works good for me. I remember some girl told me it smells good and I should try it, so of course next time I need some ded i got axe, and liked the smell and it did last all day. old spice isnt good for me, it use to work when I was younger but now I guess my ph is diff and after 5hrs I have a stank when I lift up.


    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    Case point:

    One of my main profile pics:



    A sample of those who have messaged me first:





    Guess which girl it is? :-|


    I $hit you not, the above girl keeps messaging me even though I've told her I'm not interested.

    Originally Posted by psychnurse2012 View Post
    maybe females don't contact you, because they think you're not real. like they may think a guy that cute on a website, probably isn't real and someone is just pretending to be that person. it's automatically assumed, only certain type of people are on those type of websites anyways.
    I agree with psych a little, but I also agree it could be something with your pics or profile.

    why not change your pics dude, the pic you posted here would come off to alot as cocky and what not. why not put up some pics with friends, or you doing something goofy/funny/laughing. I get a few messages from decent chicks this way. I get a **** load of responses though, they all say omg i love your pics or your profile cracked me up and I had to respond balh blah blah.

    A bitch gets hit on 20times a week in real life, so dont make up excuses saying a bitch gets all these messages online. dont wanna hear it brah.
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  14. #44
    Registered User Cash440's Avatar
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    I've been on about 8 dates total of pof and smashed 6/8. One I dated for about 3 months. All the others were average to above average and were only worthy of a one-nighter.
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    Lmao, I was tempted at one point to say I was born in Brazil or Italy just to see what difference it made.

    Check out their other article "Your Looks and Your Inbox" - now that one will blow your mind as to how females and males respond to looks.
    You should try it! I'd be curious how women would react.

    The 'Looks & Inbox' article is interesting. Although I have my theories, including a number of questions about the ways in which the results were gathered/presented.
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    Also if you're interested in this sort of stuff check out the following site: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

    OK Cupid write several articles based purely on their site statistics. It is an amazing eye opener into how people work - at least in the virtual world.
    About the racial studies, that's why the most successful guys are usually handsome and white. Outside of that and your chances drop significantly. I am tall, in good shape (real life standards, not bb), decent looking (no brag), do well or myself, and had a great profile setup and sent creative messages and still did not receive a lot of feedback. I even went so far as to message random girls who lived on the other side of the country to rate my profile and my pics, and all but a few gave me back positive reviews. But whenever I messaged someone to get to know, I almost never got a reply. In real life, I am outgoing and have dated outside my race, but because I am Asian (which has the second to worst reply rate according to OKcupid) girls online have not given me a chance. So I gave up on that stuff but it was only to supplement meeting people in real life anyway so I'll just rely on that instead of dating sites.
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  17. #47
    Left Boston Now in Denver Augnon's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Agentdark45 View Post
    I agree that is some very good advice in general, however in practice I still think e-standards will be the main deciding factor no matter how "good" the message. This was confirmed by several troll POF threads in the misc where dudes posted up male model pics on a crappy profile and messaged women with simply "what's up" or "hey" (i.e the standard bland male POF message) or something crude - and got a fair few responses and first messages.

    Also if you're interested in this sort of stuff check out the following site: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

    OK Cupid write several articles based purely on their site statistics. It is an amazing eye opener into how people work - at least in the virtual world.
    I wish people would stop posting that chart.That site is easily 90% white with a majority of that being males.Of course they will get more messages/responses; there are more of them.Okcupid knows this that is why they didn't post how many users belong to each ethnic group.This is just a big sampling error.
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  18. #48
    ლ(╹◡╹ლ) awwwww yeeeeh DannyBoy7's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DemetriaF View Post
    Yes, you are indeed spot on here. Women do get flooded with messages, and I got so many that my head was indeed spinning.

    However, what men don't realize is that females do read every single letter she receives. We're simply too curious, and ego driven not not to. However, it's the same way it is when scouring these boards. Some headers are better than others. And some headers show great potential, but when you click on the thread, we sometimes encounter a wall of text, or something that's completely indecipherable, bizarre, or not tantalizing enough to warrant a response. We respond to what we want to respond to, or to threads that feel 'relevant.' Women respond to men in this way as well.

    Women open hundreds of online dating responses, and they DO respond to those that appeal to them, whatever that criteria might be. The best advice I'd give is for guys to set themselves apart from others by putting together 'friendlier' ads, that offer a tone that most women 'say' they're attracted to.

    But no, most chicks won't be contacting guys online, even if the dude appears (at least through his ad), that he might be the guy of her dreams. Most of us aren't wired this way to seek that dude out.
    i don't get it though... if women are so curious, why don't they approach a man that has potential? and why do they wait for the man to make the move? i know you said it makes women feel "manly", but with the statements i just put in bold, i sense a contradiction. so educate me lulz
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  19. #49
    Registered User dts1789's Avatar
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    Met my gf off POF. No underlying issues, no dramas, not fat, no problems at all. Never been happier She's pretty much my ideal partner. I went through hundreds of profiles (just to see if there were any interesting ppl on there) and she was one of only a few that really stood out. The rest were all physically disgusting, or whores with 5 kids by the time they were 20, or they were incredibly stupid. I got EXTREMELY lucky though. She was a new user too so I got her before she met anyone else off there, not that it would have bothered me.. she's not someone who would ever hook up with a random off the net..
    legit and genuine people are out there, they probably make up the 0.1% of everyone though.
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  20. #50
    I LOVE MY KITCHEN! NOVA888's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DannyBoy7 View Post
    i don't get it though... if women are so curious, why don't they approach a man that has potential? and why do they wait for the man to make the move? i know you said it makes women feel "manly", but with the statements i just put in bold, i sense a contradiction. so educate me lulz
    How can I explain it? Instinct over logic, maybe? Some instincts are stronger, and make people blind/irrational. While others can be rationalized, and therefore controlled by attaching more logical reasoning.

    I consider myself somewhat logical, but the female instinct that keeps me from approaching men, overrides any logical arguments I might have. I't's like I'm hypnotized, and will walk away without even thinking about it. I guess this is similar to some of the instincts that men have in regard to sex. A lot of that 'pull,' might very well be the biological forces that control some of us to an extent, and can cause a little blindness, or even stupidity. I'm certainly not 100% free of that!

    Originally Posted by dts1789 View Post
    Met my gf off POF. No underlying issues, no dramas, not fat, no problems at all. Never been happier She's pretty much my ideal partner. I went through hundreds of profiles (just to see if there were any interesting ppl on there) and she was one of only a few that really stood out.
    Wow, so great to hear that!
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