My rant (long read)

[Irezumi]

Ok...Im not sure why I am even telling you guys this but at this point, I honestly feel like I need to get it off my chest and this is the only place I can do it (pathetic I know)

There are maybe a handfull of posters here that understand my situation. I was born in Kabul Afghanistan and came here when I was 4 years old. I was a muslim until the age of 16 and had a very strict muslim father. At the age of 16, I finaly had to balls to tell my father that I did not want any part of his disgusting religion or culture. I told him that I wasn't going to be the son he wanted me to be. I told my strict muslim Afghan father that his son is an Atheist. I knew at this point that he was going to sh*t bricks but I figured i would just get my weekly ass beatings from him and eventually he would get over it and accept me for who I am. Man was I wrong. I got my beating but I also got the boot. Got kicked out of my house at 16 years old and was told by my own father, my own blood that he didn't want anything to do with me. He decided to choose his faith over his own blood. From 16 to 18, I was pretty much homeless living from house to house with friends. I would pass the time and cover my feelings by using dope and drinking all day. I was 16 years old and still a boy and I could not understand how my own father could choose his faith over his own blood. As soon as I turned 19, I decided I would change my life. I worked my ass off and paid through my own school. Got my degree and finally settled into a place on my own (with a friend off course since I couldn't afford a place on my own) Durin these years, my parents got a divorce and I kept a very close relationship with my mother. To this day she still feels bad about letting my father kick me out but anyone who has muslim parents understands that the "man" of the house always makes the final decision. From 19 to 24 I flurished. I was able to get a degree, purchase 2 condos, and start a career but there was always 1 thing missing in my life. No matter how well off I was, I never had a relationship with my father which pretty much crushed me. I kept these feelings inside through all my life. I would still speak to my father from time to time but it was strictly a platonic relationship. He would never accept me as a man and I could never forgive him for putting me through what he did.
To this day, I envy my friends and anyone who has had a father in their life that would at the least respect them as a man. I never wanted money or fame. All I ever strived for in life is to just have a beer with my old man and talk to him. Talk to him about the girls I meet, talk to him about how my career is going, talk to him about anything but I could never have that because I didn't want anything to do with his religion. The thing with me is, I have no feelings for him. I don't love him or hate him. I went out of my way to visit him once in a while because I feel sorry for him. But every time I went to see him, he would go out of his way to start a fight with me. Nothing was ever good enough for him no matter what. I would see him maybe once every other month and all I wanted to do is spend an hour with him just to see how he was and to tell him how well I was doing but that never happened. He always tells me how much I dissapointed him and how much of a failure I was. Even though I have no feelings for this man, he is my one father. He is my blood and he never once respected me as a man. I will admitt that I could have been the better man and made a better effort to see him but I had a deep hatred for him for several years because of what he did to me. About a year ago, he told me that he got a government contract with the US Army to go do linguistics (SP). They were going to ship him to Afghanistan for 6 months so he can help the US army. I was very happy because he was actually making something of his life. At that point, I told myself that once his contract was up I would make a better effort to be a part of his life. I was going to wait until his contract was up and I was going to sit with him and work all of our BS out. I had everything planned out. I was actually happy because I was telling myself that I would actually have something that I have never experienced. I was actually going to have a relationship with my father. I knew it was going to be slow and grueling but no matter what, I was going to make it happen.
In 2 weeks, his contract was going to be up and he was going to come back home. I can't even explain to you how excited I was. So now, the reason for my stupid rant...My father decided to call me today. I knew it was him and I dropped everything and picked up my phone. I was expecting him to tell me how things were going and how he was excited to get back. He calls me and is very cold to me. I don't think nothing off it because he is usually like that. He calls me to basically tell me that he isn't coming home. I think to myself that maybe his contract got extended. Then he decides to tell me that he is going to find a women to marry in Afghanistan. He is going to start a career there teaching english. Then he tells me that he isn't coming home. He is going to start a new life in Afghanistan and he tells me never to make any kind of attempt to contact him. He tells me good luck in life and make sure to look after my sister. He doesn't even give me a chance to respond and he just ends the conversation by telling me that if I ever decide to have kids, I shouldn't let them dissapoint me like I did to him. Then he says goodbye and hangs up. I held my phone to my ear to at least 20 minutes in shock. It still hasn't hit me yet. Im never going to see him again. Im never going to get the chance to start that relationship that I never had. I wouldn't wish this pain im feeling on my worst enemies. You have no idea how this feels. Its pretty much just like knowing that your father passed away because to me, thats exactly whats its like.
Now before I dull my pain in a bottle of vodka, I just want to tell you guys one thing. Please appreciate every little thing you have. Appreciate the fact that you have a family that loves you and will always be there for you because its those little things that make life worth living. Life is too short to argue about religion or politics. Having a relationship with your father might be a very small thing to you but trust me, it means the world to someone who has never experienced it. Sorry for the long ass emo rant. Peace...

[...Rousseau...]

wow idk what to say about that man.

[Irezumi]

wow idk what to say about that man.

It is what it is. Im just glad to be alive and have friends that love me and treat me like family.

[FullSack]

I would still speak to my father from time to time but it was strictly a platonic relationship.

^^^ i would hope so haha

anyway, dude your dad sounds like a misguided nob head with messed up priorities. You don't need this loser and his allah nut-hugging. I'm impressed that you managed to become an atheist being raised by fanatics. Don't listen to that crap about you being a disappointing son, if i had a son like you i'd be ****ing impressed man.

[Irezumi]

U are a loser if u r 30 y/o posting ur life issues on an internet forum, and that too in R/P section.

No one cares, go cry somewhere else.

Thanks. I realize your aim is to upset me which I can understand because you are a little immature 20 year old. Truth is, there is nothing you can say that will make me any more upset than I am. Have a great night.

[blip63]

What made you decide to go against your father's wishes and abandon your faith? Did you just never feel a connection to Islam? I'm sorry to hear about the phone call from today. Your story(and stories like this) always make me appreciative of my family and the opportunities I've been given. The fact that you accomplished so much when you were young despite all the trauma is inspiring. Based on your post history etc, if you have children it seems like you will be proud of them for being who they are and not just who you want them to be.

[ONtop888]

U are a loser if u r 30 y/o posting ur life issues on an internet forum, and that too in R/P section.

No one cares, go cry somewhere else.

Negged for being a complete waste of breathing space.


IRE, I've followed your story about the relationship with your dad for a while, but this post really conveyed the magnitude and depth of this "father"-son relationship. I'm really sorry about how things turned out with him brother. On the positive side, your post was inspirational and it really did make me want to live for the moment and appreciate my family and friends. It must be a horrible feeling to know that you won't see him again. My dad had a similar story with a drunk father that abandoned him. It actually provided him with the impetus to be a good dad, and all of the bad traits not to mimic. The same will likely be true with you and your future family.

[Judge_Joe_Brown]

Your father wanted u to become a Muslim man and look how u came to be. A whiny little kid posting about his problems on forum full of people that don't give a crap. Go cry somewhere else.

Plz go *******. BRB hitting my wife, that makes me a man.

Anyway, that must suck brah; I can't imagine it. I'm lucky to have a very good relationship with both my parents and this did make me appreciate it more. BRB calling my mom to say whats up.

BTW take it easy with the drugs, drinking etc. Like you said, you still have a lot to appreciate.

[Irezumi]

Negged for being a complete waste of breathing space.


IRE, I've followed your story about the relationship with your dad for a while, but this post really conveyed the magnitude and depth of this "father"-son relationship. I'm really sorry about how things turned out with him brother. On the positive side, your post was inspirational and it really did make me want to live for the moment and appreciate my family and friends. It must be a horrible feeling to know that you won't see him again. My dad had a similar story with a drunk father that abandoned him. It actually provided him with the impetus to be a good dad, and all of the bad traits not to mimic. The same will likely be true with you and your future family.

Thanks brother. I appreciat every word you offer me. Im gonna get over it though some how. I realize that I have more than what most people in the world do. I have a roof over my head, food on my plate, and friends that love me and treat me like family.

[Irezumi]

Your father wanted u to become a Muslim man and look how u came to be. A whiny little kid posting about his problems on forum full of people that don't give a crap. Go cry somewhere else.

Again, thanks for the imput. You can call me whatever you want but Im not going to stoop down to your level and start calling you names. Thanks for giving your opinion on the matter. Have a great night.

[FullSack]

Your father wanted u to become a Muslim man and look how u came to be. A whiny little kid posting about his problems on forum full of people that don't give a crap. Go cry somewhere else.

you're an ass hole, shut the **** up

[LunicaAshes]

Your father wanted u to become a Muslim man and look how u came to be. A whiny little kid posting about his problems on forum full of people that don't give a crap. Go cry somewhere else.

No you.

I haven't called you any names. What is your excuse for leaving religion?

Uh... "whiny little kid" is a name.

[Irezumi]

I haven't called you any names. What is your excuse for leaving religion?



that is his excuse for abandoning Islam? Clearly this kid needs to read more.

You have no fu*king idea what I have seen and been through. I was fleeing my country during a war and have seen things so horrible that you cannot even imagine. Who the fu*k are you to question why I choose to live my life the way I do? You made your point. Now fu*k off.

[SkinnyDip]

Sorry to hear that man. I have a good relationship with my father. Yes it has had its share of problems though.

Best way to get through is just to succeed. Be a better father then he was. Good luck.

[.horizons.]

tough break cuz, you got raw end of the deal bachem.

[realistromeo]

Wow, i feel bad for you man, but look at how sucsessful you are! you still got your mother and sister, sure you may never have those moments with your father, and may have missed out on some life expiriences, but focus on the relationships you have, and be a better man than he ever would be..

the last words i would want to hear from my father would be..

"son i am dissapoint"

i think you need to realise your the one that should feel dissapointment ... to bad you cant write him or get in touch with him to get the last word..

[Mr Beer]

Remember this: you didn't fail as a son, he failed as a father.

[Mr Beer]

Your father wanted u to become a Muslim man and look how u came to be. A whiny little kid posting about his problems on forum full of people that don't give a crap. Go cry somewhere else.

You're a pathetic loser.

[bzman]

stfu pussy.

like 50% of us have a weak relationship with our father, get over it.

and for some of us its a lot worse then just religious differences lol

[nitr0x2]

Yo man I feel like I can relate to you a bit (muslim family but I don't really believe in anything)

I never really had any serious problems with my parents though, they are really great people and I love them to death. Your post really made me think about how I should enjoy being with my dad more often. I usually hate doing yardwork or working on something with him because its always such a chore and hes a perfectionist, but I think from now on I'll try to remember that my time with him is limited and I should enjoy every second of it.

[Christianyouth]

You're the one who ruined the relationship by not identifying with his beliefs. You basically rejected his way of life and lived in a way that brought shame to him. Telling him that it's a 'disgusting culture'/turning back on him, that was an act of rebellion, and for that you have an estranged relationship with him.

I don't know what the infleunce was, but what at 16 can be the pull to leave the religion/authority/upbrining of your parents? Did it involve maybe...girls? See all moderns want to have these sob stories about how they did their own thing/chose their own moral code and were rejected, but this is social dynamics/sociology of knowledge 101, communities are created around beliefs, religious/political/moral/etc. "Togetherness through belief". And when somebody gets the urge to 'shift' a belief, it's because of a crisis of authority, you think that social group B has a better belief system/moral code/plan than social group A.

Either way, be a man and take responsibility for your actions. Your dad did an alpha and principled thing. Newer generations hate their parents in subtle ways and also don't want to live with the consequences of their actions.

Not sorry this happened because you hated your parents(i.e. their disgusting religion / rejection of communities beliefs, rejection of community). bird-chested/frail self-imaged family guy watchers do this too and I fire those ****s. That's community hate. Glad there's still a man in the world to tell you to get your head out your ass and have some loyalty to parents.

OP = can't live with the consequences of his family-hate. gtfo.

[Moh7]

op what are the chances of you flying to Afghanistan for his wedding?

[anonymous]

I'm very fortunate i was able to make both my muslim parents become non religious, though my mom is still a deist
I know somewhat how you feel, my parents got divorced long ago and i NEVER see my dad, he has been out of the country for the pas 3 years and recently came back.

But honestly, i CANNOT understand why you would not make your dad suffer, throwing your 16 year old child out and beating him is and federal crime, my friends dad is serving WELL deserved time in prison for that exact same reason.
Why did you never report your dad?
You shouldnt let people get away with creating victims, he needs to suffer the natural consequences of his actions.
If my dad did that i would have no problem what so ever destroying his life, but thankfully we have a good relationship.
Nothing is more disgusting than making your child be a victim of your actions and anyone who creates a victim of their child should suffer dire consequences.

So again, why did you not report your dad?

[Christianyouth]

I'm very fortunate i was able to make both my muslim parents become non religious, though my mom is still a deist
I know somewhat how you feel, my parents got divorced long ago and i NEVER see my dad, he has been out of the country for the pas 3 years and recently came back.

But honestly, i CANNOT understand why you would not make your dad suffer, throwing your 16 year old child out and beating him is and federal crime, my friends dad is serving WELL deserved time in prison for that exact same reason.
Why did you never report your dad?
You shouldnt let people get away with creating victims, he needs to suffer the natural consequences of his actions.
If my dad did that i would have no problem what so ever destroying his life, but thankfully we have a good relationship.
Nothing is more disgusting than making your child be a victim of your actions and anyone who creates a victim of their child should suffer dire consequences.

So again, why did you not report your dad?

You're like a strange tree-bark eater in the history of moral thought by suggesting that parent's don't have the right to beat their kids.

but brb taking taking ideology that hasn't had it's utility tested/was invented and spread through propaganda(i.e. by portraying it as 'divinely revealed' and not making utilitarian arguments for) as if it is wait.... divinely revealed, objective(ie no hints of utility in your statement but instead appealing to objective norm).

[nondualism]

You're like a strange tree-bark eater in the history of moral thought by suggesting that parent's don't have the right to beat their kids.

but brb taking taking ideology that hasn't had it's utility tested/was invented and spread through propaganda(i.e. by portraying it as 'divinely revealed' and not making utilitarian arguments for) as if it is wait.... divinely revealed, objective(ie no hints of utility in your statement but instead appealing to objective norm).

Solid example of WHY America must become more secular if we're ever to regain influence in the world.

[anonymous]

You're like a strange tree-bark eater in the history of moral thought by suggesting that parent's don't have the right to beat their kids.
.

You're a disgusting, uncivilized, barbaric, uneducated, and morally corrupt red neck if you think parents should be allowed to beat their children

beating ur child is a federal crime? way to ruin societies, we should just let kids run around doing whatever the hell they want.

Notice how i said "throwing your kid out", thats the federal crime, not the beating.
btw your a piece of ****

[Blindead]

the enter key is your r****ing friend christ asll

[outlikeatrout]

Damn bro, that's a hell of a story.

This line from your dad is very telling:

"(You) shouldn't let them disappoint (you) like (you) did to (your father)"

Being a parent is not about "letting" your children disappoint you! It's about loving, teaching and disciplining them and letting them be who they are.

[ZenBowman]

Sucks brah, on the bright side, sounds like your life is good and you have a good relationship with your mom. One thing that might help you is to realize that your father was once a child just as you were, and it was the way his parents and family raised him that made him the man he is. He is not completely responsible for his life because he is not completely responsible for his environment and culture, which obviously played a major role in shaping him.

Somewhere in the chain of events that was his life, he landed in California, and at least you got out of that trap. Imagine if you had been raised in circumstances similar to his own, things would be so much worse.

[Kmart23]

Sorry to hear about your ****ty situation, op.

I can relate to a large degree, never having a father myself, but it seems like your father really took the cake, and is a complete self-righteous bastard. You are better off without him, as I am sure I was without my father.