Exes ALWAYS come back

[SwayWay]

Showing the bitch your moving on without her and bettering your life is alot better than "Oh I am hurt so let me delete you to show you how hurt I am". By doing that you are showing the bitch she won. I have a couple of EXs on my FB and I laugh everytime I see them ****ing up in life but yep I am BETA.

Just by saying your "SHOWING" her something is telling her unconsiouly your still seeking her validation. Women thrive on one thing attention/validation. Keeping her around as a friend after a breakup feeds right into her need for valdiation/ego. To her the fact you cound't bear to break off all contact completely tells her she still "has" you some how. Removing her/rejecting her completeing and denying her the valdiation/attention is the only way to trully let her know you've moved on.

[NOVA888]

Its just the nature of the beast I guess. Girls are fickle as ****, dont take what they say too seriously. Dont assume anything.

It also goes to show that looks, your physique and even sexual prowess dont have as much of an impact as game and your ability to make the girl be attracted to you. I think theyre nice bonuses but ultimately if youre not playing it solid you'll lose her.

Much truth here.

[.aeterna]

So if the relationship is so OVER and nothing she says or does doesnt matter to you, then why this comment "Because I didn't want to be tempted to look at her page and see some crap that might bother me". Simple question

more the case if you are the dumpee, you are going to still have feelings of attachment for a while after the breakup. the last thing you need to see when you logon to ******** is anything to do with her. all it takes is one picture, or one comment she posts on another guys wall to make you feel insecure/****ty/sad all over

i mean cmon, alot of younger girls nowadays tend to breathe ********, making sure the world knows what is going on in their lives... its even unavoidable if you only defriend them (hello mutual friends).

[DoubtErased]

Just by saying your "SHOWING" her something is telling her unconsiouly your still seeking her validation. Women thrive on one thing attention/validation. Keeping her around as a friend after a breakup feeds right into her need for valdiation/ego. To her the fact you cound't bear to break off all contact completely tells her she still "has" you some how. Removing her/rejecting her completeing and denying her the valdiation/attention is the only way to trully let her know you've moved on.

So by showing her that you are moving on and bettering yourself is still seeking her validation? There is a difference between just not talking to her and using the classic childish line of "Oh I will just delete you out my life" Nothing more is a smack to a woman face then to be able to keep her around as purely as a friend and still be able to not show emotions to her. I guarantee you 8 out of 10 women will think that you are so butt hurt over her breaking up with you that you had to take that drastic of measures. NOW that is feeding into her ego

more the case if you are the dumpee, you are going to still have feelings of attachment for a while after the breakup. the last thing you need to see when you logon to ******** is anything to do with her. all it takes is one picture, or one comment she posts on another guys wall to make you feel insecure/****ty/sad all over

i mean cmon, alot of younger girls nowadays tend to breathe ********, making sure the world knows what is going on in their lives... its even unavoidable if you only defriend them (hello mutual friends).

Of course its going to take time to get over her, but if seeing a photo of your ex can put you that much in a bind to where your starting off at square one then you need to check your head

[hqa]

Everyone's so focused on "showing this bitch this" and "the bitch won" and "you want her to think this and that." The relationship IS OVER. Anything she might think, say, or do, does not matter. I deleted my ex's ******** for ME. Because I didn't want to be tempted to look at her page and see some crap that might bother me. I did it for MY OWN BENEFIT. I don't give a crap what she thinks about it. That's how it should be for everyone.

He speaks the truth. People focus on "winning" the breakup so much that they still end up focusing all of their energy on their ex. Half the posts I see are dudes doing **** to "show" their ex that they've moved on as opposed to simply moving on.

So many people fall into victim mentality when it comes to exes it's depressing. She didn't treat you like ****, you let her treat you like ****. Instead of being angry at what was done to you, accept responsibility for it. Accept that things happened exactly as they should have, learn whatever important lesson there was to learn (as there is always one) and move the **** on.

[NOVA888]

People who do the whole "Oh I am going to completely delete everything that reminds me of her out of my life" is the same ones who come running back to their EXs. Its like running away from your problems eventually it will catch up and your ass will be the one trying to contact her. IMO its childish and shows that you are not ready to move on. If you are 100% ready to move on in your life and have no doubts, then seeing her FB, seeing her name wouldnt phase you AT ALL.

I agree with this as well. Very true.

This 'running away' is the polar opposite of actually being in a relationship. But we all know about extremes, or the dynamic between love/hate--the same brain circuits are functioning in both of these extreme emotional conditions.

The best attitude is one of indifference, meaning a person has lost their significance, and therefor any power over over us.

[bjj510]

Im gonna side with DoubtErased on this one. Deleting her from ******** is a beta move. It shows you are massively affected by how she treated you, and you cant even handle seeing her post a status every day or whatever = Weak.

[hqa]

So by showing her that you are moving on and bettering yourself is still seeking her validation? There is a difference between just not talking to her and using the classic childish line of "Oh I will just delete you out my life" Nothing more is a smack to a woman face then to be able to keep her around as purely as a friend and still be able to not show emotions to her. I guarantee you 8 out of 10 women will think that you are so butt hurt over her breaking up with you that you had to take that drastic of measures. NOW that is feeding into her ego

Why does that even matter? What's the point of showing her that you're moving on and bettering yourself?

[hqa]

Im gonna side with DoubtErased on this one. Deleting her from ******** is a beta move. It shows you are massively affected by how she treated you, and you cant even handle seeing her post a status every day or whatever = Weak.

Shows it to whom? Who are all these people judging your every move and deciding what's beta and what's not ..

[DoubtErased]

Why does that even matter? What's the point of showing her that you're moving on and bettering yourself?

Whats the point of showing her that you have to delete her from your life so you can "move on"?

[kineticforce]

Whats the point of showing her that you have to delete her from your life so you can "move on"?

I usually agree with what you say brah - I just cant 100% understand why Id want to keep sh*t of an ex??? phone/fb/pics/letters/etc.

I can understand some "things" but her fb and other contact stuff is not necessary....

whats the point of keeping sh*t of her around - shes a chapter in your life that is finished- done - closed. IMO the only reason you would keep that stuff around is if you HOPED she would come back around. Thus holding on to the past....

just my .02

[hqa]

Whats the point of showing her that you have to delete her from your life so you can "move on"?

The point of deleting her is to help YOU move on. That way YOU don't see her status updates and delay the whole process. It has NOTHING to do with her.

You still haven't answered my question.

[DoubtErased]

I usually agree with what you say brah - I just cant 100% understand why Id want to keep sh*t of an ex??? phone/fb/pics/letters/etc.

I can understand some "things" but her fb and other contact stuff is not necessary....

whats the point of keeping sh*t of her around - shes a chapter in your life that is finished- done - closed. IMO the only reason you would keep that stuff around is if you HOPED she would come back around. Thus holding on to the past....

just my .02

Like I said before, if you have been broken up for over a month and seeing a FB status comment of hers like "OMG I had so much fun this weekend, I am totally hungover" throws your ass in that much of a whirlwind then you have issues. Yeah its a chapter in your life that is closed then NOTHING in the world should be able to re-open that chapter no matter what. Unless you remembered her phone number then if she called how are you going to know to ignore the phone call?

I will reiterate again if you are truly 100% done with somebody seeing her fb, phone number pictures of her wont bother you. Plain and simple

The point of deleting her is to help YOU move on. That way YOU don't see her status updates and delay the whole process. It has NOTHING to do with her.

You still haven't answered my question.

If you have to delete her from something as simple as FB to move on then your not ready to move on

[hqa]

If you have to delete her from something as simple as FB to move on then your not ready to move on

If seeing her status updates makes it harder for you to move on then you're not ready to move on. Then you should keep her as a ******** friend to show her that you are moving on? That doesn't make sense.

It doesn't matter what she thinks of you. She's your past. The fact that you want to show her x, y and z shows that you care. You clearly have an attachment to how she feels about you.

Nothing more is a smack to a woman face then to be able to keep her around as purely as a friend and still be able to not show emotions to her."

If you were to truly move on then it wouldn't matter to you how she reacts towards you. It wouldn't matter to you if it hurts her feelings that you show no emotions towards her. Much like it doesn't matter to you what Britney Spears had for dinner.

[.aeterna]

blocking/deleting ********/aim/phone for ex-gf's, crushes, and even a "one-itis" earlier in my life has allowed me to reach an immense level of indifference with very few road bumps

if i didnt delete them, i knew inside that id keep regressing to certain insecurities by just looking at their page or whatnot. beta? not really, more like im doing what works for me

and how do you define "indifference"?

its not saying "i dont give a **** about them"

its more like, "i really believe and hope they find someone in their lives that'll make them happy" and genuinely believing it..

its all about maturation and growing up bros...blocking the ********z worked for me, who are you to say otherwise?

[bjj510]

Shows it to whom? Who are all these people judging your every move and deciding what's beta and what's not ..

Shows it to her, obviously.

When you delete someone from ********, they can see. Its not like deleting her number.

While I understand that for your own sanity it would be better just to wipe all evidence of her existance, I believe its far important to make a dignified exit and to not look like a sulking crybaby beta bitch.

[DoubtErased]

If seeing her status updates makes it harder for you to move on then you're not ready to move on. Then you should keep her as a ******** friend to show her that you are moving on? That doesn't make sense.

It doesn't matter what she thinks of you. She's your past. The fact that you want to show her x, y and z shows that you care. You clearly have an attachment to how she feels about you.



If you were to truly move on then it wouldn't matter to you how she reacts towards you. It wouldn't matter to you if it hurts her feelings that you show no emotions towards her. Much like it doesn't matter to you what Britney Spears had for dinner.

No it goes back to what I said in an earlier post about running away from your "problem" and it will just come back to bite you in the future. I actually encourage men to look at their EXs ********, sometimes seeing her moving on with another guy is what they need to finally be like "Man **** it", its sometimes what its going to take from the person to finally get over it. Yeah it may hurt when you find out something like that but you will be better in the long run

[kineticforce]

Like I said before, if you have been broken up for over a month and seeing a FB status comment of hers like "OMG I had so much fun this weekend, I am totally hungover" throws your ass in that much of a whirlwind then you have issues. Yeah its a chapter in your life that is closed then NOTHING in the world should be able to re-open that chapter no matter what. Unless you remembered her phone number then if she called how are you going to know to ignore the phone call?

I will reiterate again if you are truly 100% done with somebody seeing her fb, phone number pictures of her wont bother you. Plain and simple


If you have to delete her from something as simple as FB to move on then your not ready to move on

I def. see where you are coming from and understand the fact when you are 100% done with somebody her info wont bother you -- most guys cant deal with it emotionally, it fukks with them, deleting that info at least takes away certain avenues of not seeing or trying to contact her...

being able to re-add her later shows you dont care but she will know you deleted her... it can go a couple routes .... different things work for different guys

[hqa]

Shows it to her, obviously.

When you delete someone from ********, they can see. Its not like deleting her number.

While I understand that for your own sanity it would be better just to wipe all evidence of her existance, I believe its far important to make a dignified exit and to not look like a sulking crybaby beta bitch.

She's your ex. You've moved on. It doesn't matter what she thinks. In my eyes caring what a person that no longer means anything to you thinks is being a beta bitch.

[inq]

My ex didnt. Feelsbadman cuz I was hoping she would. Oh well on to the next one.

[bjj510]

She's your ex. You've moved on. It doesn't matter what she thinks. In my eyes caring what a person that no longer means anything to you thinks is being a beta bitch.

I guess Im just stubborn, if a girl dumps me the last thing I want is to show her that it affected me in any way. Its a pride thing I guess.

[hqa]

No it goes back to what I said in an earlier post about running away from your "problem" and it will just come back to bite you in the future. I actually encourage men to look at their EXs ********, sometimes seeing her moving on with another guy is what they need to finally be like "Man **** it", its sometimes what its going to take from the person to finally get over it. Yeah it may hurt when you find out something like that but you will be better in the long run

I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree. My policy in life is efficiency. When I'm done with something, I'm simply done with it. I focus on myself for myself. I want to make the process of moving on as fast and as painless as possible.

The reason majority of people are having hard time truly moving on is, because they hold some kind of a grudge over a break up. No matter how much of a bitch she was to you, holding a grudge does not serve you.

You end up spending a lot of your energy on feeding that grudge and thinking how you're going to make her feel like ****. At the end of the day its simply masturbation. Sure it feels good while you're doing it, but you're just ****ing yourself.

[gooober]

My take on deleting an ex:

My first gf that dumped me, it took me a while to get over. I would look at her page and get upset for around 1 month after the breakup. Granted its been a few years but I see her updates/pics and it honestly doesnt phase me even for a split second. She's just another person on my friends list.

If you have to remove someone to help you, who gives a fuk? Do it. If you have to keep her around for a while, do it. Many of you seem to care too much what others think. If you delete her, it will probably cross her mind for a few minutes afterwards that you deleted her, and that will be that. Doesn't make you "beta" for doing it. If it makes you feel better, if it betters your situation, so do it. Don't EVER do/not do something because you think it will make someone think of you differently. Do what you need to do. I personally don't feel the need to delete anybody. In a few years you may be curious what's going on with them, and it doesn't hurt to keep them around on your list.

If you want to delete somebody without them knowing, just press "Hide" on the side of their FB status updates. They will still be your friend, you just wont be bothered by seeing any of their updates/pics/etc.

Boom.

[DocHol1day]

I'd like to interject for a minute.

I personally believe, and I've said it on here a million times, is it depends on YOU. If you can just cut your emotional ties and move on, then its a better and more alpha if you will move to not delete her, not totally cut contact, and remain friendly but generally indifferent to her. If your still hung up on her bad and all that, then you need to delete her for your own sanity. As with all things in the dating world, its situational. I promise true indifference is better than out right ignoring, but most of you aren't strong enough to make that work, so you see ignore ignore block block thrown around a lot. So it really comes down to you, though I think one is superior.

[JonChimpo]

My last gf had an ex who called her several times while we were dating. She told me that he always tried to beg her to come back to him, but she told him that she would be his friend and nothing more because she was in love with me. I never acted jealous or mad about it at all because I thought that would drive her away. I guess me not giving a sht about it drove her away.

Finally, he got through to her. She broke up with me to get back with him and lied to me about it. I only know because a friend of mine ran into the two of them a couple months later, and it was abundantly clear that they were together. He even heard her say, "Why did I leave (me) for this sht?!"

She had already broken up and gotten back together with him several times before I met her, so I have a feeling she will be breaking up with him again soon. If and when that happens, I have a feeling she will try to get me back, but I don't want any part of her anymore.

[DocHol1day]

My last gf had an ex who called her several times while we were dating. She told me that he always tried to beg her to come back to him, but she told him that she would be his friend and nothing more because she was in love with me. I never acted jealous or mad about it at all because I thought that would drive her away. I guess me not giving a sht about it drove her away.

Finally, he got through to her. She broke up with me to get back with him and lied to me about it. I only know because a friend of mine ran into the two of them a couple months later, and it was abundantly clear that they were together. He even heard her say, "Why did I leave (me) for this sht?!"

She had already broken up and gotten back together with him several times before I met her, so I have a feeling she will be breaking up with him again soon. If and when that happens, I have a feeling she will try to get me back, but I don't want any part of her anymore.

She didn't break up with you for him because you didn't care, she broke up with you because you were a rebound (duh) and that's what girls do to rebounds. Don't ever get too attached to a girl you meet fresh out of a ltr

[sttevele]

Very very true OP. In most cases this is how girls react.

[sttevele]

She didn't break up with you for him because you didn't care, she broke up with you because you were a rebound (duh) and that's what girls do to rebounds. Don't ever get too attached to a girl you meet fresh out of a ltr

+1

Red flag for me is a girl who's recently gotten out of a relationship

[PabloDiazMorales]

My ex dumped me. About two months later I get a yet saying this: on September 5th 12:43a.m.
"I hate the fact that I try to get over you yet I think about u every ****ing second of the day. I can't even enjoy a date with a guy cuz of you. I hate you for Being stuck in my head and making me feel guilty about trying to have a good time with other people". She updates her status on FB with a ">:O" around 1a.m.
Now I didn't text her back on that text. Even though it hurts cuz I really loved her a lot I'm trying to move on. Now my question is did I do the right thing by not texting and ignoring her. (that was the 2nd time she text me the 1st one was about her getting her new phone. And we talked for a bit telling me she misses me and all that BS). But another time we talked on the phone and before I was about to hang up she says wait " I love you" I paused and said it bak cuz I know she jut messing with my head. Then she asked if I was sure and I said yea so she can leave me alone. Did I do the right thing?

[.aeterna]

My ex dumped me. About two months later I get a yet saying this: on September 5th 12:43a.m.
"I hate the fact that I try to get over you yet I think about u every ****ing second of the day. I can't even enjoy a date with a guy cuz of you. I hate you for Being stuck in my head and making me feel guilty about trying to have a good time with other people". She updates her status on FB with a ">:O" around 1a.m.
Now I didn't text her back on that text. Even though it hurts cuz I really loved her a lot I'm trying to move on. Now my question is did I do the right thing by not texting and ignoring her. (that was the 2nd time she text me the 1st one was about her getting her new phone. And we talked for a bit telling me she misses me and all that BS). But another time we talked on the phone and before I was about to hang up she says wait " I love you" I paused and said it bak cuz I know she jut messing with my head. Then she asked if I was sure and I said yea so she can leave me alone. Did I do the right thing?

keep ignoring her! she hasnt given you anything from that text, except that she BLAMES you for her lack of progress with other guys.

do you really need someone like that in your life? im guessing she is younger and highly lacking in maturity. typical victim mentality nonsense.

she may say "i love you" but she will never say that she is IN love with you.

you did the wrong thing by reciprocating it. you just validated her and made her feel good knowing that she can still have you on the tip of her finger.

cut off contact asap...you two broke up for a reason and im guessing you were dumped by her. you owe her nothing, especially not "i love you" (which is way too often thrown around by women).

edit= just re-read ur post, point still stands tho lol