I'm aware of many who goes from the club to the gym, and to the gym from the club, I wish to know how the hell do I balance out my social life with my fitness goals??? Seriously, I'm lacking a balance here.
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09-06-2010, 11:35 PM #1
- Join Date: Oct 2006
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Balancing social life & the fitness lifestyle, how do some of you do it?
"Man is pupil, Pain is his teacher"
- Chinese Proverb
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09-06-2010, 11:47 PM #2
Depends on what your goals are bro. if you're training for competition of sorts, obviously you wouldn't be able to go out with your friends and go drinking (unless its a drinking competition).
but for the most part, whether you're bodybuilding or training for elite levels of fitness or just to stay in shape and anything in between, i think its very important to make a point of going out with your friends/gf and having fun
go out and get hammered and then try to remember which one of you were supposed to be driving, take your girl out and don't count the macros of what you eat, invite your mates over on a sunday and have a barbecue or go out camping or go to the beach and live your life.
in this lifestyle in which we restrict many of the things that life offers us, we must make a conscious effort to not let it run our life completely. that way, i find i stay alot happier, and i don't get sick of training or sticking to my diet.
and yes, we slip up now and then with our goals. but those times are just the middle fingers that life offers us sometimes when we try to accomplish something.
we're still human, just better looking and feeling than the average oneDon't take your guns to town
☆★Spartan crew★☆
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09-06-2010, 11:49 PM #3
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09-07-2010, 06:12 AM #4
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: Olive Branch, Mississippi, United States
- Age: 42
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I think it all depends on your personality, I used to go out alot, but then something just changed and I became more focus on my bodybuilding and started to look at going out and drinking as counterproductive to my goals. Now I don't really go out or hang out except every blue moon with my wife and I don't feel like I'm missing anything. Its like the more I focus on my bodybuilding, less is more as far as everything else in lifes goes.
My focus is the process, the stressful environment that you place your body in, eventually adapting to that environment, and subsequently conquering that environment. Bodybuilding is uncomfortable, embrace the discomfort.
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09-07-2010, 06:41 AM #5
Its also easier when ur social life is part of ur fitness life. For example - my gf is counterproductive for my fitness because she hates the gym (never wants to go with me or alone), doesnt play sports, and loves eating out or ordering in -- eating whatever. So the more im around her....the more urges i have to resist, the more i cheat, the less i do; so its a battle.
Few years ago, my ex-gf was the opposite. She went to the gym with me, she liked going out but was able to keep herself and me at moderation, she liked activities, etc. So the more i was with her, the more inline i kept and easier it was to be dedicated.
There is a balance to be had - it just various per person based on hobbies, interest, and goals. Id would be nice though if non bb's and or non-fitness people overall - would understand the hard work and effort to resist tempations that we face; it make life a lot more easier"Fitness is a journey not a destination"
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09-07-2010, 06:51 AM #6
- Join Date: Jul 2007
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I'm in the same boat as you OP.
It feels you can't fully enjoy life socially and mentally.
It feels like you can't comfortably go out with family and friends(my case my wife) and enjoy a day out without worrying about what your eating, how many calories your consuming blah blah blah.
I mean damn I'm a grown a s s man and worry about even have one beer. I'm not even trying to compete just trying to get in the best shape I can get in but at what cost?
I've come to a point where I'm kind of exhausted weighing food, worrying about if I'm going over my macros or not and having to run to the computer to log my food. I know my family jokes but they always say "uh oh where's your scale Anthony gotta weight that food there".
Sh!t I've been dieting for a year and seen minimal results. I see people that don't give a fcuk about what they eat, drink, smoke and pretty much just throw caution to the wind and are in better shape then me. I'm like WTF am I busting my a s s for.My training log: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
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09-07-2010, 07:18 AM #7
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09-07-2010, 08:26 AM #8
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: Olive Branch, Mississippi, United States
- Age: 42
- Posts: 86
- Rep Power: 180
I think its about finding a balance, I personally love working out, but I hate watching what I eat. I enjoy being in good shape, but it does get stressful at times, but I think sometimes we feel like we're the only ones that get stressed. Trust me, the people who don't seem to care and make jokes here and there are probably more stressed than you could ever imagine. I'm at a point now where I do think about everything I eat before I eat it, and to be honest, I say I wish I come just say fu*k it and eat whatever, but no I don't. I'm in the best shape of my life, I can run all day and my strength is through the roof, and thats because of my eating habits and workout routine. So I look at it as what I have gained rather than what I have lost.
My focus is the process, the stressful environment that you place your body in, eventually adapting to that environment, and subsequently conquering that environment. Bodybuilding is uncomfortable, embrace the discomfort.
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09-08-2010, 08:37 AM #9
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09-08-2010, 08:44 AM #10
Yup... im in same boat. I love food. For the taste, for the socialbility it brings, for feeling full, for the different flavors, etc. So everyday is constant battle. It is rough. Even with cheat days/meals.... i hesitate to cheat becuase i work so hard in the gym, i want results...i dont want to get set back. But when i have to turn down a smores and beer at my gf's family bon-fire, or when my brother cooks a pizza and there are leftovers, or when i go out with my gf I cant get my MUDSLIDE drink because i already had boneless wings (1000 cal).... it gets hard. Then i see her family eat whatever they want and be "happy". ITs only when they complain about their weight do i feel good ive resisted.
SOmetimes i miss the days of eating a bag of chips, a pizza, and few drinks while watching my football team.... yet i dont miss the gut. I know i could eat what i want for most part and keep the gym and still be in good shape.... but good isnt good enough... i want to know im the best that i can be... that im not wasting any talent or leaving behind any improvement.... but at what cost? Depriving myself of the food i love? I do like a lot of the health food i eat.... but the cooking, preping, measuring, and same foods get old."Fitness is a journey not a destination"
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09-08-2010, 10:33 AM #11
Guys.
You have to try to disconnect 2 different things here: 1. your feelings and 2. food.
I know that food is important in social settings, it's part of almost every culture in different ways too. But that you are not happy while others are (who are eating whatever they want) should not have anything to do with the fact that they are eating. Does the food make you happier? Maybe for the time being, but when you're in bed and think about your day.. does it make you happy then? I am sure it doesn't.
With that being said, it is also important to find balance. Some people in here already said that that is the key to living a healthy lifestyle while still being socially 'involved'.
When you go to a party/dinner/club at night, just eat less that day and bust your ass in the gym. Save some calories so you can fully enjoy the big meal or beers. Sure, maybe if you would keep your strict diet you would get better results (which is doubtable btw), but you need to let yourself go from time to time.
How can you enjoy your ripped-sixpack-adonis life when you don't have friends, family or colleagues to share it with? What is the point of working your ass of if you live your life solitary?
(yes, you do this for yourself and not for others, that's not what i mean.)Iron, sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos.
++ Positivity Crew ++
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09-09-2010, 07:00 PM #12
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09-10-2010, 05:10 AM #13
- Join Date: Feb 2009
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You can do both. Most people just have trouble disassociating food/drinking with "social life." You can hang out and do things without eating a bunch of crap or drinking a lot.
Also, you could develop a social life that doesn't involve a lot of club-going, etc. It all depends on what you're looking for - both in your fitness and your social life.********
http://www.********.com/AlphaBrass01
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09-10-2010, 06:59 AM #14
I often manage to balance the 2.
You just gotta know how to control yourself. I've had a few times where I go out on friday or saturday, after a practise or gym, and I just had 1 beer, 2 max.
No need to over do it. Also, when I go clubbing, just sip on 3-4 drinks over 2-3 hours, you don't have to gobble down the entire bottle of pure vodka everytime you grind on the dancefloor.I don't want to accept this as my prime.
I don't want anything in my life, as it currently is, to be the pinnacle of what it will be.
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09-10-2010, 07:06 AM #15
ill tell u a trick i learnt the hardway bro..
Train in the mornings..srsly i train each weekday at 5am (sounds hard but u will srs get used to it after 2 weeks) now i jump out of bed coz my body is ready to throw some heavy sh it around!!
The reason i workout in the mornings? (coz i love it..) but also becuase its YOUR time..there are no girls or boys wanting to hang out and go for a drink in the morning, there are less ppl in the gym, you are pumped for the rest of the day and wen u finish wat u gotta do during the day..you can come home and relax..or alternatively you can make plans and go have a drink, or a meal with friends..coz uve already done ur workout and its over
also learn to prepare ur meals in advance..that way you dont have to be in the kitchen for an hour at dinnertime etc..all u need is 2 mins on high in the microwave after preparing a big meal the night before bro..
Thats just a couple of benefits ive found have helped save time for me and make me more available to socialise..
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09-10-2010, 07:15 AM #16
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09-10-2010, 07:18 AM #17
- Join Date: Jan 2010
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I made my goals paramount. My friends were supportive, one of whom is my gym partner from the start. As I show more and more results, more of my friends come to me with questions on how they can better themselves. Most of them do not make the changes I suggest, but all of them respect what I am doing. I am a leader among my friends and work-mates and my new lifestyle is no different. I still go to bbqs, bars, parties etc. but now I can get out of drinking easily by being the DD, that generally makes everyone happy.
At restaurants I order what will fit into my macros/calories, everyone else gets what they want. This was hard at first, and is still difficult now. Eating out in America is dredged with the idea that you go in, jam yourself with so much food you have to lie on your side for the night and chat about how good the meal was. I let everyone else do this and know that the immediate gratification I gave up will be replaced by permanent change to my body.
Every single time I am presented with temptation I stop and think ahead. Will the immediate pleasure of this cake beat the delayed pleasure of a fantastic body? The answer is usually no. (sometimes the cake wins....) Thinking before you act is the best method.
Balance is important, but if you present yourself as a strong person with conviction and the dedication to forgo immediate pleasures you will be respected by your friends and become a stronger person.
Good luck,
-Drew
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09-10-2010, 07:52 AM #18
The more priority you put on your goals, the more you will find you have friends and companions that also support your goals. Nearly all of the people in my life that I consider close friends are like-minded. It's a smaller group than it could be but I don't have to argue against having a beer in a bar ever.
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09-10-2010, 08:13 AM #19
- Join Date: Sep 2010
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It depends on what you want out of your social life I guess.
I've been turning my social life into a more active one, by doing things like Ultimate Frisbee instead of, say, a LAN party. Its fun, and you can meet other people that are fit/trying to get fit. I find it helps me stick to my goals.
The cake is a lie!!
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09-10-2010, 11:32 AM #20
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09-10-2010, 02:29 PM #21
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09-10-2010, 02:57 PM #22
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09-10-2010, 03:25 PM #23
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09-12-2010, 05:42 AM #24
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09-13-2010, 05:23 AM #25
- Join Date: Jul 2007
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The thing is i'm not even trying to compete just trying to get big and healthy. The problem is i'm trying to bulk and all it's doing is adding more of a pudge to my lower belly area and love handles and i've only been eating 3,000 calories. If I were to eat more to get big I would be scared as hell to think what my stomach area would look like. Like I said other people who don't put the time and dedication I have look better then me. I feel my genetics just won't allow me to achieve what I want and sometimes I just want to end it. If I do end it it'll feel like this monkey off my back but at the same time i'll feel like a failure.
I'm bloated all day, walking around like some farting machine, can't enjoy life, always consuming my day around calorie counting and going to the gym. I woke up this morning and just looked at myself in the mirror with my shirt off and just said "what am I doing this for".
It feels I just want to say forget all this crap and just live life. Sh!t has me frustrated.Last edited by Anthony21; 09-13-2010 at 05:28 AM.
My training log: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=178464441
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09-13-2010, 09:25 AM #26
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09-13-2010, 01:42 PM #27
- Join Date: May 2009
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I used to go through a dozen eggs in the morning- 2 whole and 10 whites, and eat like crazy all day, always feeling bloated. I was also waking up a couple times in the middle of the night and drinking protein shakes. Sometimes, I would drink a protein shake with a full meal just because I felt like it or take a double serving thinking it would make things progress faster.
Then, I found out that I could get by eating a third of what I was eating, still have energy, still put on size, with no loss of strength. Maybe you should try to cut back. just because such and such says that in order to be a successful bodybuilder you have to eat this and this and this doesn't necessarily mean it's best for you. Maybe, like me, you're not into bodybuilding, you just want to separate yourself from the crowd.
I've got it worked out now where I'm not spending $100 a week on groceries. I have very good energy and I lean out a little more every week. Also, no bloat.
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09-13-2010, 03:18 PM #28
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well is the pain of sacrifice greater than the pain of defeat... i hav some heavy goals, but do party on the weekend. being in college its tough not to. ive been pretty good at dieting and working out, but the dirnking is another issue. it is the reason im not as cut as i should be, but for now, im ok with that. usually when it gets colder out, (at least my) party life settles down... so you have to make choices... its up to you
*****official misc photography crew *****
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09-13-2010, 03:20 PM #29
honestly, ever since i got into distance running in HS, my social life has been lacking. mostly because i don't drink, especially now that i'm in college. all anybody wants to do anymore is go out and get smashed, and i don't have the desire or metabolism to do that ****.
Bench:
current- 150 /// goal- 200
"I might be weak now, but eventually I'll be stronger. You, on the other hand, will always be a douchebag."
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09-13-2010, 05:05 PM #30
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