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  1. #1
    testin' ur testies Testifier's Avatar
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    Talking God: Urban Dictionary (for friendly lulz)

    1. God

    A guy who talked to some Jewish guys, some Christian guys, and some Islam guys, and accidentaly caused more people to die than anyone else in human history.

    And people wonder why he doesn't talk much to us anymore.

    2. God

    The reason I passed math.

    Bless the lord! For I got a 65!

    3. god

    The universal scapegoat for forces yet to be explained, originating back to when man thought the wind was Satan farting.

    Uuhhhmmmm... God did it?

    4. God

    The main character in the fiction work "The Bible."

    And God replied: I am Who Am.
    And Moses quickly corrected him saying that it should be I am Who Is. But God never was any good at grammar.


    5. god

    the most popular star in human history. loved, hated, or talked about by almost every person ever walked on earth.

    theist: 'i love god, i think he's cool.'
    atheist: 'god is a ridiculous idea, he doesn't even really exist.'
    god star human history loved hated talked


    6. God

    Large angry fairy-pixie in the sky. Refuses to show any evidence of his existence but will sentence you to an eternity of pain and burning if you do not accept it.

    Abe was a good man, but he used God's name in vain, so he burned forever and ever.

    7. god

    God, the omniscient, primordial and eternal who created man in his own image and therefore posseses a digestive system, sense organs, limbs and other attributes that would be useless to an immortal being. If God came first, what would he eat or walk upon? Why would he have those five senses if nothing to sense yet existed? And if he has 'always' been here, how long did he sit around doing nothing until he decided to invent the Universe? And why? And if he hadn't yet invented the universe, what exactly was he sitting on? Where is he going to exist if there is nothing to exist in? And what is wrong with the idea that we all just expire and disintegrate and rot?

    God help us.

    8. God

    You can't see him because he is not there.

    Brasil: So, you're saying that God is the only way to eternal salvation?
    HyunGyum: Yeah man, God is all loving and he will save you.
    Brasil: Then, why does God make bad people go unpunished?
    HyunGyum: hmm...
    Brasil: Why doesn't God save the hungry children of the world? That doesn't sound like the "all-loving God" I have heard so much about.
    HyunGyum: ...
    Brasil: That's right! God doesn't do all of that because he doesn't exist!

    Atheists: 1
    Believers: 0


    9. God

    The voice that talks to you from the announcement speaker.

    "Cleanup in aisle 1!"
    "God? Is that you?"
    god grocery store announcer holy godness


    10. god

    Man's most deadly creation.

    billions of people have died in the name of god

    11. god

    a widely known imaginary friend

    mommy i didnt do it god did it

    12. god

    An imaginary entity that weak-minded people use to fall back on.

    Only god can show me what to do now because I'm too stupid to know what to do now!

    13. God

    The Creator of the Universe in the hit universal comedy, Religeon.

    See fiction
    Preacher : And The Lord God Said, Be Fruitful And Multiply.
    Woman at bar : Dude, that is THE lamest pickup line.


    lulz.
    Last edited by Testifier; 02-25-2010 at 04:59 AM.
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  2. #2
    testin' ur testies Testifier's Avatar
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    15. god

    dog backwards.

    person1:"Hey look its god"
    person 2: "No thats a dog"


    16. God

    An entity whose opinions on the consumption of pork has been a matter of hot debate amongst the world's religions.

    Jew: "YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork."

    Christian: "No He doesn't! Jesus and Paul took that law back a little while later."
    Muslim: "Yes, He does forbid it, the Jew is right for once! Allah made this very clear 600 years after Jesus and Paul were alive!"
    Pagan:"No, the gods do not forbid eating pork. In fact, we have to throw the bones of our slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire to scare the demons away!"
    Hindu:"Not true, the Dharmic law forbids eating any meat, including pork. Eating pork will only anger the gods."
    Atheist:"I can't believe we're actually talking about stuff like this..."


    17. god

    a word used to brainwash.

    Sunday school teacher: And on that day he created the universe...
    Kid with a brain: Where did God live if there was no universe?
    Sunday school teacher: He, uh, he...(head explodes)


    18. god

    Some big man that sits opn a cloud and tells everyone what to do. Threatens us with hell.

    Eat your cabbage or God will send you to hell!

    19. god

    Mankind's ultimate scapegoat.

    We have FREE WILL. Don't blame GOD for the bull**** YOU create.

    20. God

    (noun) An imaginary friend for grown ups; commonly touted as being a supreme being responsible for the creation and continued maintenance of the universe. The identity and characteristics ascribed to God vary according to established doctrine and religious alignment. Most religious groups, however, agree that God hates gay people and frowns on the consumption of products containing pork. In a bizarre twist of fate God demands the faith of followers without the burden of evidence - however, this demand could not have been put forward without direct evidence that God exists (i.e. God must exist in order to issue commands to his followers).

    Don't spank that monkey Billy, God is watching.

    21. God

    The reason for anything currently unexplained or unknown.

    What is the origin of life? God, at least until we find the real reason.
    Last edited by Testifier; 02-25-2010 at 04:25 AM.
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  3. #3
    Registered User CaptainGorgeous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Testifier View Post
    15. god

    dog backwards.

    person1:"Hey look its god"
    person 2: "No thats a dog"
    lol
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  4. #4
    testin' ur testies Testifier's Avatar
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    22. god

    Imaginary father figure invented to help people deal with the meaninglessness of their lives.

    "Don't worry, just because your a pizza-faced freak, God still loves you"

    23. God

    Apparently a being worth more than 356 urban dictionary definitions

    Dude....my god, GOD has so many damn definitions!

    24. god

    God is the main character in the bible, whether he exists or not is not for anyone to be sure, although it is highly improbable. I think if everyone stopped believing in god, and started believing in themselves the world would be a better place, but who knows.

    Christian: I open my life to god so he can help me achieve
    Athiest: I believe I am able to achieve.
    christian tupac religion atheism satan


    25. God

    The biggest scam in history designed to control and put millions of dollars in the pockets of so called "men of god".

    Hey give me money i talk to god!

    26. god

    An all powerfull being who lives in a flying cloud castle and is always watching you.
    God is watching when you poop. Even when you touch yourself at night. . . . .


    Sarah: *rubs her clit a little when she thinks no one is around*
    God: I. See. YOU!


    27. god

    A being thought up by people thousands of years ago because they couldn't think what could have created everything. Has sinse been scientifically proven not to exist hundreds if not thousends of times, but large amounts of people still beleave in him/her. Also started one of, if not the richest business on the planet: the church.
    A false elusion some people go to if they feel lonely, or sad in any way, and never actually recover because of him.
    A way in which nearly every parent blackmails their children to behave.
    A way to keep the masses from 'sinning' so they dont go to 'hell' after death.
    Often causes serious mental illnesses. people being obsessed with the idea of his existence, and they diteriate into insanity.


    Some wacko: God is real.
    Some one with an IQ higher than room temerature: Riiiight, what kind of reality do you live in?


    28. god

    Created by man in his own image.

    God doesn't exist. Time to wake up people. Stop being ignorant and accept the fact.
    Last edited by Testifier; 02-25-2010 at 04:30 AM.
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  5. #5
    Banned DangerDan's Avatar
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    Lol, awesome.

    Wish I saw this stuff when I was a Christian. I would have raged.
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  6. #6
    Banned DangerDan's Avatar
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    The only ones that are positive are the ones at the very end on like page 70 with like twice as many downs than ups.
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    Smile

    492. God
    Someone who is real. I gaurentee his existence.....

    The only reason i now believe in god is because Jesus himself came to my house last night. He slapped me with his slippery, flopping cock while i was taking the trash out. He then molested me and said if i told anyone hed kill me! I agreed not to tell but he didnt believe me so he pulled out his rusty looking filet knife and tried to gut me with it! I took off and was shot several times. Thats the last i saw of him.....



    hes real! repent sinners for you may get a cock in the head if you do not!
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  8. #8
    testin' ur testies Testifier's Avatar
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    /\

    lolwut?
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  9. #9
    U Mirin? bradlehman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DangerDan View Post
    492. God
    Someone who is real. I gaurentee his existence.....

    The only reason i now believe in god is because Jesus himself came to my house last night. He slapped me with his slippery, flopping cock while i was taking the trash out. He then molested me and said if i told anyone hed kill me! I agreed not to tell but he didnt believe me so he pulled out his rusty looking filet knife and tried to gut me with it! I took off and was shot several times. Thats the last i saw of him.....



    hes real! repent sinners for you may get a cock in the head if you do not!
    *2018 Cut Like Diamonds by Late Summer Crew*
    Starting weight on 2/12/18: 220 lbs (after 5 year dreamer bulk, very sporadic gym attendance, and too much beer coupled with sedentary job)
    Goal weight by 9/18/18: 180 lbs (will assess aesthetics level at this point and likely clean bulk through winter to achieve a juicy 2019).

    **Dawn Patrol/Early Lifter Crew**
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  10. #10
    Registered User TallDH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bradlehman View Post
    hahaha!
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  11. #11
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    I laughed the most at the first one.
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  12. #12
    testin' ur testies Testifier's Avatar
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    bump!
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