The typical relationship and how most of them ultimately fail.

[Natty23]

Describes my old relationship perfectly

[fit2change]

I enjoyed this read and made alot of common since to me.. Me and my ex been together for almost 4 years.. I've never cheated but toward the end it went on and for several months and her always coming back to me.. The last time, we broke up she didnt contact me, and after a week I got back in touch with her.. I had more good then bad in this relationship and really like to rekindle it.. But havnt gave her anytime to miss me, due to the last week I bought her flowers, then end of the week sent her a hand written letter.. Also also during the 3 weeks talked and asked neutral friends even her sister.. so Im very aware after this read why I got the results I got "nothing". so my question to you after the 3 weeks due you think [I] can still apply this for the next 3 weeks since she hasnt truly had time to miss me and make her wonder.. appreciate any advice.. thanks

[antmaan]

wow OP SPOT ON!

how do you recover from this and regain alphaness? ive been trying to maintain an indifferent attitude but it doesnt really seem to work

[Wife Beater]

wow OP SPOT ON!

how do you recover from this and regain alphaness? ive been trying to maintain an indifferent attitude but it doesnt really seem to work

When I was in the last stage in my first relationship, I tried to recover. I would not text or break the silence for a long time thinking she would feel me being distant and slowly come back. Turns out, doing this was what made us ultimately break up. Sometimes you're just too deep in the hole to recover.

After we broke up, I acted cool with it, maintained no contact for 3-4 weeks and she came crawling back. So while it may sound risky, I suggest taking a 3 week no-contact break. If you do this right, it will reset everything back to how it was in the beginning.

[jFlyer]

Thanks for the heads up OP.

Entering Stage 2.

[shuback]

When your young yes.

As you get older the stupid games get old and you realise your spending way too much energy on a relationship thats doomed to fail. Find a girl who is attracted to you and your personality.

To the OP that exact thing happened to me several years ago. Spent so much time trying to be alpha then ended up being her door mat. Once it ended I realised I shouldnt have to put up a persona.

strong fkn this


also strong bump

[OhioStateBucki]

Ask yourself this...let's say you do something nice for your gf or just a girl you're talking to...is her internal response:

A) I'm a special as sh*t little snowflake who deserves the world so I'm glad he's falling in line and treating me well

B) Wow he treats me so well and it makes me feel like a special as sh*t little snowflake


You want outcome B always. It indicates that she respects you and knows your time is valuable and that you can get other women. By giving her your time and effort instead of giving it to someone else, she feels loved and special. A girl in love will eventually tell you that she feels lucky to have you/doesn't know what she did to deserve you or even outright say you make her feel special. It means good job Dave man.

SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT IF SHE STOPS PUTTING IN A LOT OF EFFORT THAT YOU WILL WALK AWAY. Make her feel loved, but not unconditionally loved.



Show THROUGH BEHAVIOR that you will not put her before school/work/lifting/family and a bros only night once a week or so. Don't just say this stuff out of context, you come off as a try hard intentionally putting her down. Wait until she texts you one night to come over but you can't because of X and just tell her then. Don't be a ******* and just pretend to be doing X or Y activity. Actually go out and be doing them.



Realize I'm not teaching you how to play games. I'm simply teaching you how to be a man. Games imitate being a man with no real substance behind them which means they will eventually falter and break with a girl, exposing the deep down mess that you are.

[ImmaGrump]

Mind-bogglingly good post boys, this is a gem.

[TheInvictus1995]

sound advice, i can confirm
inb4 fa

[OregonsBest]

This chit sounds about right OP. There are a few exception to it though. My ex got extremely over weight and so I became alpha stage one again and then dumped her.

It is very important to remember to tell a bish "no" every once in a while. I saw stage 2 or 3 happening in my last relationship and it made me depressed so I changed it. I never want to lose my alphaness again.

Would really appreciate it if someone could rep me so I can find this. I'll rep back.

[numbhazard]

I been at stage 1.. girls run away once you show affection.

[Tanktwo]

pretty much this.

also when you date a crazy bitch you're always walking on eggsshells cant say anything for fear she'll go off into a rage.

1.5 years of this also turn a person into a little bitch

[Progressus]

My ex-girlfriend dumped me a month ago, from a 8 year relationship.
Everything the OP wrote happened to me, every single phase! It's so accurate that it's crazy. I've seen this happen before to some of my friends and yet I couldn't escape it.

Guys, never ever make your girlfriend the center of your life, there's a good chance you'll end hurt.

[PuTangSlayer]

In stage 1 right now lmao.
Stage 2 is starting to happen right now as well, and I plan on keeping it that way. Good post.

[Jasonw1178]

Kind of bad, negative write up by OP.

All relationships (except a few) kind of go like this.

1. Attraction - A couple meets in a bar/online/friends house/ect and well, something sparks interest and they are attracted to one another.
2. Courting - Trying to win each other over. He's trying to make her laugh and happy so she will sleep with him, she's getting dolled up and looking pretty so he will want to sleep with her. There are many firsts in this stage, like first hug, first kiss, first bj, first time you enter her.... now all bets are off.
3. Honeymoon - Now that you have gone all the way, you can't get enough of each other. Nothing really bothers you, just as long as that affection keeps the high going, it's all good.
4 True colors - the gig is up, you both start being who you really are. This is where it can go downhill. However, you can work it out. Can you work it out? Are you willing?
5. Acceptance or rejection - you will either accept each other, or go your separate ways. There is LOGICAL acceptance, and then there is BETA acceptance. Logical acceptance is where you can accept things you really don't like about someone. Beta acceptance is when you really can't accept it, but don't have the balls so you just take it.

No matter how "great" she is, there are things you don't really care for about her, or her care for on you, but you have to deal with it. I guess the best solution is to focus on the good and learn to deal with the bad. You aren't perfect either, so don't hold her inperfections against her.

My girl, will probably marry her eventually. Yes I love her, but there are times I hate her. She can drive me crazy, but then again, she's the one keeping me sane. She makes me happy, but makes me rage. Can't live with her, but can't live without her. She puts up with me, that says a lot about her.

[WeedWizard420]

True.

[ratbatkicker]

So true OP. Went thru the exact same stages in my most recent. Started out Alpha.. Chick was clinging to my sack.. Then started getting constant crap about not spending enough time.. Gave in and spent more time.. Made her my life.. Fights started.. Then ended up a Beta ******* at the end. Such a great thread bros

[X645]

Bump to aware those in relationships

[Coolman468]

This happened to me with ex of mine, then I found corey wayne. And now I have a gf of two years that is obsessed with me still. Just last weekend she was crying how I don't show her enough attention, and I don't care about her as much as she cares about me and is scared to death I'm going to break up with her. I've learned that although she says those things if I am to change and seem like I care about her more than she does about me then she will have the power and in the end break up with me. Unfortunately this is just the way it has to be. I told her I'll show her a little more emotions and I will but I'll never center my life around hers or change my life plans for her. She can do it for me if she wants but I'll also never ask her to do it for me. I've told her many times look out for yourself and your future before anything else.

[LamboBrah]

Fuk. Can't belive this was 7 years ago almost 8. OP I haven't even finished reading it yet and I can tell it's gonna be a great read. Just the first 2 steps got me on. T and I can already tell what each step will say.

Fuk bitches, get money for life. Learned my lesson now for life. Never trusting love and women again they want exactly what's on step 2

[LamboBrah]

I never hit step 4. I'm depressed because I'm with her but overall im perpetually stuck at 3 because I know she wants to dry me up and I can't let it

[AndroMuscle]

Wow! You must proclaim your dominance!

[AngusPeppered]

Spot on OP. I'm at the point where my gf loves me and just gets very upset or hurt when I don't recifprocate. I like her, might love her, but I don't think she was meant for me if that makes sense. She has taught me a lot though. Any girl who actually is a good person will open up to you easily and get very upset if you have trouble opening back up.

[sdoo]

OP just described a 'circle alpha'. Basically a beta who pulls up his pants, starts being alpha (Goes to the gym, focus on career and money), attracts a girl with his new found alphaness, slowly becomes beta again (Lets her walk all over him, starts skipping the gym to hang out with her, puts her as top priority in his life), she leaves him, and he's back where he started. Slowly becomes alpha again...

[Studi0sity]

Relationships fail because one of the parties or both parties are insane. It is that simple.

If two sane people are involved in a relationship, they understand their roles and responsibilities in a relationship, and perform those roles and responsibilities reasonably well. Relationships are like a team and they involve teamwork. Relationships fail because they lack loyalty and commitment from both people. Relationships fail because people don't see each other when they wake up and when they go to bed every day. Relationships fail due to power struggle (the "push" and "pull" and mind games are part of struggle for power)and people involved don't function like a team.

What happens when the people who work in a company don't coordinate with each other and don't function as a team? The company collapses and goes out of business.

Be sane and find a sane partner. You will be fine.

[AndroMuscle]

Would it not be safe to say that certain people attract certain other people?

For example a supposed "alpha" male may attract a certain type of female, it is probably not accurate to say ALL females are attracted to an "alpha" male.

Perhaps this is the cycle created, that the alpha attracts this one type of female that is attracted to power or confidence, excitement but as that slowly fades the relationship loses the attraction.

[X645]

Relationships fail because one of the parties or both parties are insane. It is that simple.

If two sane people are involved in a relationship, they understand their roles and responsibilities in a relationship, and perform those roles and responsibilities reasonably well. Relationships are like a team and they involve teamwork. Relationships fail because they lack loyalty and commitment from both people. Relationships fail because people don't see each other when they wake up and when they go to bed every day. Relationships fail due to power struggle (the "push" and "pull" and mind games are part of struggle for power)and people involved don't function like a team.

What happens when the people who work in a company don't coordinate with each other and don't function as a team? The company collapses and goes out of business.

Be sane and find a sane partner. You will be fine.

I think that is the ideal way to look at things but sanity does not necessarily imply that a relationship will work out. As a few people stated, it's not about playing games, it's rather always putting yourself, your goals, your family first and relationships will flourish because of this. Continually grow as a person and good things will follow.

[dfprodz]

Still holds true TO THIS DAY lol


never ventured in Step 3 in the MAJORITY of my relationships because for the most part, i was eagerly focused on increasing my financial worthiness and capabilities throughout the years. Once I reached a level where I had a degree of satisfaction with my accomplishments, the readiness to switch gears in relationships (aka more focus on the relationship itself) got me on Step 3


needless to day, it fell apart shortly after lmaoooo