The typical relationship and how most of them ultimately fail.

[m1uk0363]

Of course, every girl demands different amounts of contact and affection, so my original post is subjective to the couple - but it really all comes down to the same thing.

Yes, it is definitely possible to come back from the later stages. It requires alone time to think. For some people, that may entail a break up or a break. For others, they can do it while still in the relationship - (make some excuse like you are busy with work or whatever it takes to not see her for a few days up to a week.) During this alone time, your goal is to regain your confidence, because lets face it - relationships take some of your confidence away which in turn contributes to your increasing submissiveness. Think about two things that entire time: fantasize about yourself getting with other women (of course you won't actually do that), and think about everything else in your life besides your love life that is a source of your happiness. Think about how you can make those things a higher priority in your life from now on. My girl broke up with me, and it took me about 2 weeks to regain my confidence - for you it will be shorter, because the first week for me I just sulked. You KNOW that you still have this girl, so you should alpha back up much quicker.

Having this mentality will cause you to apply the pull / push method. Pull them in with love, caring, devotion, and attention up to a point just short of you conveying dependency on her, and then push her away. Push her away doesn't mean blow her off, neglect her, or hurt her in any way. It means start focusing on your own life and goals and other sources of happiness for the time being. This pull / push method may sound like some kind of sick game that you must play for the entire relationship, but it's not. It's a way of keeping balance and preserving love for as long as possible. The pull / push method starts out with a conscious effort, and turns into a habit, or a subconscious effort.

Good luck.

after that 2 weeks, did you get her back?

my gf wanted a 2 week break with no contact and to not be together in that time, what you mentioned in the OP is pretty much what happened. so how should i act when we talk again in 2 weeks?

[TheGrapeCrusade]

Damn OP just wrote the story of my life for the past 7 months. Wish I knew all this stuff before falling for the trap and becoming beta as ****.

Is all hope lost once the relationship is over or is there a possibility to get her back again and learn from the mistakes?

[TheGrapeCrusade]

This

after that 2 weeks, did you get her back?

my gf wanted a 2 week break with no contact and to not be together in that time, what you mentioned in the OP is pretty much what happened. so how should i act when we talk again in 2 weeks?

[HockeyRat12]

Just went through all that chit, it's true.

[m1uk0363]

Damn OP just wrote the story of my life for the past 7 months. Wish I knew all this stuff before falling for the trap and becoming beta as ****.

Is all hope lost once the relationship is over or is there a possibility to get her back again and learn from the mistakes?

This!

[1wallstreet]

What I like to do is hit Bishes with Stage One as hard as I can and bash. Before I get to Stage 2 I call them and say that, because they lapped up Stage 1 so hard, they haven't the emotional/intellectual stamina or capacity to be worthy of being treated rightly and dump them.

Try it, as their tiny little brains go into overdrive they'll look at you as if you've asked them the hardest riddle of all time. It also makes Bishes learn the lesson the hard way whilst you come out shining like a f*cking diamond. On the other hand, if you want to continue a proper relationship with this Chick, then saying this to her will also expose her to her faulty mind and she'll see the light.

[m1uk0363]

bump

[TheGrapeCrusade]

Bump

[Icicle]

I don't think you guys who are asking questions are getting it. The whole point is not to be playing alpha games all the time. It's to trust only yourself and be dependent on your own and not need anyone else to make you happy. Concentrate on yourselves first.

[du3ce]

what i learned from my past experiences is to let go, dont try to make it work because there are plenty of other fishes in the sea, no reason to fight over one girl.

[du3ce]

after that 2 weeks, did you get her back?

my gf wanted a 2 week break with no contact and to not be together in that time, what you mentioned in the OP is pretty much what happened. so how should i act when we talk again in 2 weeks?

tell her its over plain and simple, shes cheating behind your back without making her feel guilty. Hell, get all your sh!t from her and give whatever stuff you have to of hers to her and break it off.

[bsktbllr69]

I'm going to give you my take on most relationships based on a bunch of reading and recent personal experience. This is not ALL relationships, but it's many of them.

Stage 1: The initial attraction begins because the man is acting alpha or semi-alpha. He has an "I don't give a crap" and an "It's a privilege to get with me" mentality. The girl becomes attracted to this because people want what they can't have. I put that in bold because that's the main concept in this whole theory. The girl knows that she has to work for the man's affection and attention. They hook up, get to know each other, may or may not start dating, and eventually agree to be in a relationship.

Stage 2: The relationship starts off good in most cases - it is new and exciting. While the guy is now in a relationship, he still maintains his alphaness, and the mentalities I mentioned in stage 1 to some extent. The girl is usually the first to start centering their life on the man, while the man is still centered on himself and other interests (though he loves his girlfriend at the same time.) The more the girl starts centering her life on the man, the more attention and affection she demands. At this stage, the girl is more attracted to the guy than the guy is attracted to the girl because people want what they can't have. In this case, what the girl can't have is his decision to center his life on her.

Stage 3: Arguments start to spawn from the girl that are about the lack of attention and affection from the guy. The guy slowly gives in to these needs because of a fear of loss of the girl. He begins centering his life on the girl. He begins to put her needs before his own, and slowly loses his dominance in the relationship. He asks for her approval more on decisions, and opinions, instead of taking care of everything himself. This is the first sign of insecurity of the man. And insecurity in men = attraction death for women.

Stage 4: The girl's attraction to the guy slowly but surely decreases as the man's insecurity increases. This causes the girl to stop centering her life on the guy which becomes evident in the way she acts. The guy starts noticing the changes in the girl's actions, and grows even more insecure. He starts wanting what he can't have which is the attention and affection he used to receive from the girl in the beginning of the relationship. At this point, the guy has centered his life on the girl. The fear of loss of the girl is at its highest stage, and every other man starts becoming a threat. He then start exhibiting other factors of insecurity including jealousy. While there have always been arguments (whether frequent or infrequent,) this stage spawns the most arguments there have ever been. The arguments are mainly about jealousy, and the lack of attention from the girl, that the guy used to receive.

Stage 5: The guy has officially turned into a complete Beta. The girls attraction for the guy is gone or almost gone. The girl breaks up with the guy, and the guy is heartbroken, especially since he has centered his life on the girl.

What to take from this if you are a guy:
Never center your life around the girl. Too much attention, devotion, and "pulling" will push them away. Center your life on your own principles, on your own goals, and always look to achieve things for yourself first. STAY ALPHA. In most cases, you will not lose your girl no matter how much attention and affection she demands (Stage 2.) Love your girl. Care for your girl. Have the time of your life with your girl. But never ever convey the fact that your life is dependent on your girl.

Word for word what happened to me over the last years. This man speaks the truth. Learn it now guys!

[reyreyy]

didn't really expect this to be spot on.

but damn you nailed every stage start to end. at least now I won't do the same mistake

[LeachGymRat]

I never reached stage 3, mainly because I go to a school with 55% women. I unconsciously have an abundance mentality...she knows it and I'm really not going to submit to my bitch even if I really really like her a lot.

[Danger_Close]

what i learned from my past experiences is to let go, dont try to make it work because there are plenty of other fishes in the sea, no reason to fight over one girl.

lol, stong fairytale mentality.

[Fon7ana]

Almost lost my girl b.c I portrayed the "idgaf where this relationship goes" image for too long.

I wasn't trying too, but that is how she percieved it. Now I am trying to get her back and she is only allowing it BECAUSE I finally let her know how I really feel about her. Some women do appreciate the extra affection.

edit: We broke up after I moved to FL, btw, not relationship problems. I am going back to VA for job oppurtunities and we are talking again.

[aaron416]

Interesting thread

[Num3n]

too much real life itt

[fycbst]

ok OP. While I don't disagree with you, let me ask you:

Why does life have to be this way?

Why must we play this game...

Also, people who have understood the OP, have your relationships lasted longer then?

[FawkinJuicyBrah]

fuuk brah, i love spending time with my girl (wednesdays and all weekend) and we talk on the phone every night. i act the same around her since the day i met her the typical douche and she eats it up we've only been dating 3 months and we show each other a lot of affection, do you think i should draw back on giving her all the attention i give her? i usually bail on my friends just to hang out with her, not because i dont want her to get pissed but because i rather hangout with her

[Botika]

I think most relationships end up being co-dependent which is why they fail. People lose their sense of self and rely on "the relationship" for fulfilment. In a healthy relationship both parties should have their own interests and goals, as well as interest and goals that they share with their partner (it's true for women as well as men).

[aristomeow]

fuuk brah, i love spending time with my girl (wednesdays and all weekend) and we talk on the phone every night. i act the same around her since the day i met her the typical douche and she eats it up we've only been dating 3 months and we show each other a lot of affection, do you think i should draw back on giving her all the attention i give her? i usually bail on my friends just to hang out with her, not because i dont want her to get pissed but because i rather hangout with her

Sounds like my relationship. Honestly? if she'd do the same for you then I wouldn't worry too much.

[Burzmali]

I don't think you guys who are asking questions are getting it. The whole point is not to be playing alpha games all the time. It's to trust only yourself and be dependent on your own and not need anyone else to make you happy. Concentrate on yourselves first.

This. If you're worried about what stage you're in or whatever bull**** you are missing the point. Be so focused on your own mission in life that chicks are a secondary concern. Because, they should be.

[Wife Beater]

Strong 2 year bump. I appreciate the feedback fellas.

ok OP. While I don't disagree with you, let me ask you:
Why does life have to be this way?
Why must we play this game...
Also, people who have understood the OP, have your relationships lasted longer then?

It's not a game brother. If you put yourself first in your life, then you are much less likely to run into problems with your relationship. If you live for yourself, you won't have to make a conscious effort to follow these steps. It won't all seem like a "game". It will just be the natural way of things.

fuuk brah, i love spending time with my girl (wednesdays and all weekend) and we talk on the phone every night. i act the same around her since the day i met her the typical douche and she eats it up we've only been dating 3 months and we show each other a lot of affection, do you think i should draw back on giving her all the attention i give her? i usually bail on my friends just to hang out with her, not because i dont want her to get pissed but because i rather hangout with her

Every girl is different with their level of demand for affection/attention. From what you described, it sounds like your relationship is at a good balance right now. But here's the thing - and some of this is a little speculation. You said it's only been 3 months which leads me to believe that you are still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. This takes place in the first few months in which your feelings for each other are the strongest. Chances are, in the upcoming months, you're relationship will transition from the honeymoon phase to the comfort phase. This is where those passionate/butterfly feelings you've been feeling for her will start to decline. As a result, you might start spending a little less time with her and showing her a little less attention. That's when she will start to feel the loss and demand more from you. Stage 2 begins.

[reyreyy]

Almost lost my girl b.c I portrayed the "idgaf where this relationship goes" image for too long.

I wasn't trying too, but that is how she percieved it. Now I am trying to get her back and she is only allowing it BECAUSE I finally let her know how I really feel about her. Some women do appreciate the extra affection.

edit: We broke up after I moved to FL, btw, not relationship problems. I am going back to VA for job oppurtunities and we are talking again.

lucky :'( wish i got a second chance

EDIT: Also what's got me wondering is that I've noticed and its quite obvious to everyone and surely you all know, is that why is it so hard for both sexes (depending who is more attached) have a difficult time in giving in the effort to sit down and work out any problems that arise in a relationship. Instead they decide to just leave it be and assume that its impossible for things to work out...

Sorry if I don't make sense, its mindphucking me just trying to explain it. Because at one point both parties fell in love, yet one will always end up not bothering in putting any effort into the relationship anymore.

I'm young and very confused why relationships are always so imbalanced and when things do get rough, one person will always give up... Even when things are easily fixable.
Any relationship can go through hardship if only both parties are willing to try.

donotknowwhatthephuckimtalkingboutanymore/10

[Beararms]

fuuk brah, i love spending time with my girl (wednesdays and all weekend) and we talk on the phone every night. i act the same around her since the day i met her the typical douche and she eats it up we've only been dating 3 months and we show each other a lot of affection, do you think i should draw back on giving her all the attention i give her? i usually bail on my friends just to hang out with her, not because i dont want her to get pissed but because i rather hangout with her

End well, this will not..

IMO ditching your friends to hang out with her is the worst thing you can do. Your friends will eventually say **** you, you'll get tired of being around her 24-7. Eventually you're stuck. I did the same thing as you and got bored very fast. Stop spending so much time with her.

[MirinGrains]

Oh man this whole post is on point. In my relationship I had ENORMOUS control because I kept brushing the girl off, but giving her the time of her life when I saw her. HOWEVER i over did it. Not on purpose, but she decided I didnt want anything serious and found some douche that she saw for a few months. After she came back I still had control, but lost it quickly. The fear of losing someone makes the scale tip VERY quickly. All of a sudden you don't see them for a few days, and thats it you keep asking them to hang out. You don't want to tell them you're busy right after because you fear losing them, so thats it you're stuck.

I honestly wish I was emotionless, life would be a lot easier.

[mydawgs]

Stage 1:

Wildly attracted to one another...the honeymoon

Stage 2:

Get to know one another, accept each other for what you are and the goodness you bring to the relationship. Learn how to disagree while still respecting one another. Work through the hard times. Don't assign blame, focus on resolution.

Stage 3:

Understand and appreciate this SO, value them above all others. Make your way through life utilizing all the lessons learned in #2 above. Continue to evolve and change with each other. Maintain respect, loyalty and honor.

Stage 4:

Not sure...living it right now and in the Spring we will celebrate 30 years of marriage.

This is so simple in concept but most bail in #2 because being right/in control is more important than being together....thats what I see.

Carry on.

[MirinGrains]

Stage 1:

Wildly attracted to one another...the honeymoon

Stage 2:

Get to know one another, accept each other for what you are and the goodness you bring to the relationship. Learn how to disagree while still respecting one another. Work through the hard times. Don't assign blame, focus on resolution.

Stage 3:

Understand and appreciate this SO, value them above all others. Make your way through life utilizing all the lessons learned in #2 above. Continue to evolve and change with each other. Maintain respect, loyalty and honor.

Stage 4:

Not sure...living it right now and in the Spring we will celebrate 30 years of marriage.

This is so simple in concept but most bail in #2 because being right/in control is more important than being together....thats what I see.

Carry on.

Your husband is just afraid that if he leaves, you'll squeeze his head until it explodes like a watermelon with your glutes of steel..

[2bPuMp3d]

Almost lost my girl b.c I portrayed the "idgaf where this relationship goes" image for too long.

I wasn't trying too, but that is how she percieved it. Now I am trying to get her back and she is only allowing it BECAUSE I finally let her know how I really feel about her.

So in other words you said "I'm sorry I was wrong" ?