Keto Birthday Cake - AMAZING

[benthook]

So I am on Keto, and today (5/6) is my birthday. I come home and start surfing the bodybuilding.com forums for an hour or so, all the while hearing my wife making all kinds of noise in the kitchen but paying no attention to her. Then a few minutes later she comes into my office singing happy birthday with a cake, frosting and all.



Aww, a nice gesture, but she knows damn well I'm on keto and cant have frosting, cake or any of it..



But Whats this? A little red liquid at the bottom of the cake? Is this cake BLEEDING?
My wife hands me a knife and I cut into it, the texture is unusually firm for cake and decidedly... wet? I lift out the piece I just cut, and to my shock and suprise I see this!



Yes my friends, what we have here is a MEATCAKE.



So here's the lowdown on the construction of this monster according to my wife,

This BAD ASS MOTHER of a cake has FOUR POUNDS of ground beef, none of this pussy lean stuff either, this is the high fat kind, the kind you might buy from a guy in an alley because its so fattening your government's national health service outlawed it along with foie gras and trans fats. This sick bastard of a cake has HALF A POUND of sharp cheddar cheese in between the layers of beef. If Jeffrey Dahmer ever got married, this is what his wedding cake would look like only instead of ground beef, it would be ground people, and instead of cheddar cheese, it would be MORE GROUND PEOPLE. Okay, you are probably asking yourself by now, I see the meat and cheese, and that's keto friendly, but what about all that frosting? Well SHUT YOUR MOUTH and listen to the legend of the MEATCAKE and you might learn something. See that ain't frosting at all, that's MAYONNAISE you little girl, ONE AND A HALF QUARTS OF FULL FAT HARD CORE MAYO slathered all over the glorious mound of FOUR POUNDS OF HOT GREASY BEEF. And the nice "Happy Birthday" on top? That's good ol french's mustard.



This was definitely the best birthday cake I ever had. And I have the best wife in the world to even think about making something this extreme. Did I mention that she is a vegetarian and a PETA member? I love her more than anything

P.S. - I ate about a third of this sucker tonight. I entered it into fitday and my ratios were still spot on at 65/33/2, so meatcake could be a viable everyday food for you keto-er's out there. Except for one thing. MY CALORIES CONSUMED FOR THE DAY WERE 4,494!! Thats like 1400 ABOVE maintenance for me!! Guess I'll take the day off work tomorrow and spend all day on cardio...

[MiKeYDiDiT]

all i could notice was your keyboard.

[WorldStrike]

That's rather ridiculous, but awesome haha. Bulking or cutting, even on Keto, you better be careful with that thing. Make sure it lasts you at least a few days!

[Gstay]

very very cool. a fellow could survive for a few days off that meat cake. or it could feed a family of 8. doesn't really matter.

amazing creation.

[smt1]

That's pretty cool, you're a lucky man. BTW clean your keyboard

[skelooth]

Gross dude

[benthook]

That's pretty cool, you're a lucky man. BTW clean your keyboard

Yeah, i totally didn't realize how f'n nasty my keyboard has gotten till it was exposed to the harsh light of camera flash.. I think I'm just gunna throw it out and get a new one.. eww.

[skelooth]

Keyboards have more germs than a toilet bowl, there's no such thing as a clean keyboard unfortunately. That's why we have immune systems, so we can use keyboards and live to see another day!

[benthook]

I'ma go eat moar meatcake. Man, this is heavy duty food.