Forced to down a bagel!

[victoria09]

Yesterday at a PT job that I have we had a rep that had to come in and do a training/presentation for the staff. He came in with a large box from Panera Bread full of Bagels and Hazelnut Cream Cheese.

I don't eat bagels with hazelnut cream cheese......



One of the staff members made a comment about how she's on a "diet" and one of our doctors pulled her aside and made it very clear that when reps come in like this (invited by them to do trainings) that that is "rude" not to eat what they bring!

Not wanting a lecture myself-

Uggg... I ate the damn bagel.

There was some kind of brown sugar crusted something all over the top of the bagel. Oh geeze, it was evil....

If I plan the cheat- I'm ok! At the beginning of the day when I haven't had carbs since.... who knows! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! and it wasn't planned... just threw me off! I'm strict at what times I eat and what I eat- I just wasn't sure what to do in this situation...

What would you have done???? Would you have pissed your employer off and been "rude" or would you have just dealt with it and ate the evil bagel???

[LittleCharlie]

What would you have done???? Would you have pissed your employer off and been "rude" or would you have just dealt with it and ate the evil bagel???

I used to work in a hotel and we used to have alcohol reps come in and try to sell us expensive spirits and stuff. My boss told me it was rude not to try them if the rep invited me to, but I just used to say that I had to go somewhere after work or something that needed me to have not had a drink. Dr's appointment or workout etc.

If you don't want to eat it, don't eat it. You're paid to do your job, not to eat things you don't like. Just tell them you're allergic to something in it next time! Or just tell your boss you're not paid enough to eat crap...

[NewMomma09]

Poor V!! I would have probably just eaten it too, but that's because I sometimes avoid the confrontation, lol. I like the advice from the above poster....saying you have an allergy or something....I happen to be hypoglycemic, so that would have worked for me. Maybe you could talk to your boss and let them know that next time, you're going to have to politely decline? I mean, it's easier to just not fight them on it, but when it comes down to it, they really can't force you to eat things you don't want to eat or punish you if you don't....bosses don't (or shouldn't) have THAT much control over our lives. I understand where you're coming from!

[Finner]

One of the staff members made a comment about how she's on a "diet" and one of our doctors pulled her aside and made it very clear that when reps come in like this (invited by them to do trainings) that that is "rude" not to eat what they bring!

What would you have done???? Would you have pissed your employer off and been "rude" or would you have just dealt with it and ate the evil bagel???

WARNING: EXPLETIVES TO FOLLOW. I am PMS-ing and really potty-mouthed.

The lecturing doctor is a phuccing douchebag. In principle, it's no different than saying "When these reps come in, it's very important that you give them handjobs."

And while I think it was pretty stupid (because it is, frankly) to use "I'm on a diet" as an excuse (because you're setting yourself up for an argument), I STILL would've declined the phuccing evil bagel for two reasons:

1) I didn't want the goddamn bagel.
2) The fact that I'm a contrarian by nature (i.e. a little rebellious) - the doctor's insistence that I eat the bagel would've made me dig in my heels and REALLY get down to refusin' the stupid ball of boiled bread.

I feel so bad for you, V! If it ever comes up again, smile and say "Damn. They look delicious, but I *just* ate and I'm full to bursting. If I eat another bite, I'm gonna explode!"

An even less confrontational way to do it is to say what I just said PLUS ". . .but I will take one for later." Then take the stupid bagel, schmear it with that crusty cream cheese and wrap it up in a napkin. Then, later, you can toss it in a trashcan or tear it to bits and flush it down the toilet.

I'm SO PISSED OFF at that azzbag telling your co-worker that she MUST eat the bagel. Dickwad. Phuccing dickwad.

Actually, you should just print all of the responses to this thread and mark out the names and leave it taped to the countertop. Ha ha ha.

Oh! Here's an idea - do you KNOW any drug reps? Have them bring in some celery next time! Ha ha ha! Then force the stupid doctor to EAT IT.

Now that I think about it some more, another option is to bite into the bagel and then spit it out screaming "Oh gross! What was that? A BUG???"

That way, NO ONE will be eating the bagels.

[mp.wife]

What part of "strict diet" don't people get? Why does the word Diet make people assume that you're living on freaking cabbage soup?

I second Finner. The guy was a doctor, he should freaking know better than to interfere with healthy eating, especially for some freaking bagels. "No thank you, but I appreciate teh offer" is good enough. And your coworkers need to mind their own business about your eating, probably just jealous hags.

[BabyBel2]

If i said a polite 'No thank you' and my boss got pissed off with me then tough tits!
I do feel pressured in certain situations but if someone thrust a sugar crusted cream cheese bagel in my face i'd say no. I work way too hard to be eating guilty bagels lol

[victoria09]

WARNING: EXPLETIVES TO FOLLOW. I am PMS-ing and really potty-mouthed.

The lecturing doctor is a phuccing douchebag. In principle, it's no different than saying "When these reps come in, it's very important that you give them handjobs."

And while I think it was pretty stupid (because it is, frankly) to use "I'm on a diet" as an excuse (because you're setting yourself up for an argument), I STILL would've declined the phuccing evil bagel for two reasons:

1) I didn't want the goddamn bagel.
2) The fact that I'm a contrarian by nature (i.e. a little rebellious) - the doctor's insistence that I eat the bagel would've made me dig in my heels and REALLY get down to refusin' the stupid ball of boiled bread.

I feel so bad for you, V! If it ever comes up again, smile and say "Damn. They look delicious, but I *just* ate and I'm full to bursting. If I eat another bite, I'm gonna explode!"

An even less confrontational way to do it is to say what I just said PLUS ". . .but I will take one for later." Then take the stupid bagel, schmear it with that crusty cream cheese and wrap it up in a napkin. Then, later, you can toss it in a trashcan or tear it to bits and flush it down the toilet.

I'm SO PISSED OFF at that azzbag telling your co-worker that she MUST eat the bagel. Dickwad. Phuccing dickwad.

Actually, you should just print all of the responses to this thread and mark out the names and leave it taped to the countertop. Ha ha ha.

Oh! Here's an idea - do you KNOW any drug reps? Have them bring in some celery next time! Ha ha ha! Then force the stupid doctor to EAT IT.

Now that I think about it some more, another option is to bite into the bagel and then spit it out screaming "Oh gross! What was that? A BUG???"

That way, NO ONE will be eating the bagels.

LMAO! Thanks, I really needed to read something like this!


Thank you to everyone else... I'm going to have to figure out how to handle it for next time- I think "full and I'll eat it later" may work.. I was just caught off guard and hearing what the Doc said to my co-worker........

Thank you!

[gecko...]

the suggestion about saying you have hypoglycemia is a good one, so is the "i'll take one for later"

TBH, I would have probably eaten the bagel

[humblegenius]

For the sake of a simple bagel, I would have just eaten it. There is no point making enemies in the workplace because of something so inmaterial.

If I had a rep offer to take me to lunch or drinks, I would say yes, my career pays my bills and pays for my lifestyle. Its easier to work off a bagel then to look for a new job, or not getting my next job. We all know how it goes, its not what you know, its who, and that who may be your ticket to a payrise or better conditions.

[victoria09]

For the sake of a simple bagel, I would have just eaten it. There is no point making enemies in the workplace because of something so inmaterial.

If I had a rep offer to take me to lunch or drinks, I would say yes, my career pays my bills and pays for my lifestyle. Its easier to work off a bagel then to look for a new job, or not getting my next job. We all know how it goes, its not what you know, its who, and that who may be your ticket to a payrise or better conditions.

Your probably right. I'm glad I'm not the one who stood up and said (in front of the rep) I'm on a diet..lol! I just went along with the food like everyone else!

It's not planning it and having just had my usual breakfast half an hour before that threw me off. I really actually was full!

[Finner]

Your probably right. I'm glad I'm not the one who stood up and said (in front of the rep) I'm on a diet..lol! I just went along with the food like everyone else!

It's not planning it and having just had my usual breakfast half an hour before that threw me off. I really actually was full!

You poor thing. I STILL object to the entire situation based on principle. It's not the carb or caloric content of the bagel. It's an employer admonishing an employee for choosing not to eat food. (I still think she should've kept her mouth shut or used another excuse.) Besides, what are reps doing in physician's offices other than trying to hawk their wares? If anyone should be doing any ass kissing, it's the bagel-bringing rep! LOL!

(And it doesn't always serve a person well to be a sycophant. I've told higher ups they were idiots before and I still have a great career. LOL.)

[Amanda76]

Are you sure the doc was serious? Just laugh and joke that it's inconsiderate of them not to have consulted you before planning a menu.

If he was serious I'm with Finner. What you eat and when you eat it is no business of your employer's and there's no reason you should have felt backed into a corner. Product reps do things like provide food at short meetings to stand out over other companies. THEY'RE the ones competing for business. Your employer shouldn't be in a position where they're begging for service...so it's not as though they'll stop providing a service to a company and lose money because one of their employees declined to eat a snack.

[jrm1961]

THEY'RE the ones competing for business. Your employer shouldn't be in a position where they're begging for service...so it's not as though they'll stop providing a service to a company and lose money because one of their employees declined to eat a snack.

I'm with Amanda, give me a freaking break! If it was major funding agency with money they are bringing to the business, then yeah I'd eat it, and don't forget my bonus, boss.

A simple No, Thank you should be enough for anyone, however and it really pisses me off when someone nags at me to give in, to anything. grr.

[goofeegrrl]

i work in an architecture firm and we get product reps coming in frequently to do boxed lunch presentations. i've turned down the food when it's not healthy and it's really okay to not eat it. it's likely that if i don't, someone else will. it's really not a big deal. next time, you might just say, you know i'm really just not that hungry for that, but thanks anyway.

[victoria09]

LOL! It wouldn't have been difficult to turn down the food---- had the doc not made the "that's rude" comment to someone else for just trying to turn the food down!


oh well....

[partsRheavy]

I would eat _a_ bagel.

But, had they brought donuts, cake etc. I would have politely refused those or, if I absolutely had to save face, would have "taken one for later."

[jsmircich]

I would not have eaten it, but the last 4 bosses I've had understood, to a point why I eat th eway I do. They never would have made a comment about not eating. Heck they're just glad when any of us show up at these things with reps.

[girl81]

Yesterday at a PT job that I have we had a rep that had to come in and do a training/presentation for the staff. He came in with a large box from Panera Bread full of Bagels and Hazelnut Cream Cheese.

I don't eat bagels with hazelnut cream cheese......



One of the staff members made a comment about how she's on a "diet" and one of our doctors pulled her aside and made it very clear that when reps come in like this (invited by them to do trainings) that that is "rude" not to eat what they bring!

Not wanting a lecture myself-

Uggg... I ate the damn bagel.

There was some kind of brown sugar crusted something all over the top of the bagel. Oh geeze, it was evil....

If I plan the cheat- I'm ok! At the beginning of the day when I haven't had carbs since.... who knows! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! and it wasn't planned... just threw me off! I'm strict at what times I eat and what I eat- I just wasn't sure what to do in this situation...

What would you have done???? Would you have pissed your employer off and been "rude" or would you have just dealt with it and ate the evil bagel???

Sometimes doing the right thing is difficult; still, I hope in that situation I would have stood up for the girl being lectured by the doctor. His treatment of her was wrong and disrespectful. Period. She is a human being first and foremost, and as such has free will over such things as her diet.
If he disrespected me bc I stood up for her, then his respect was worthless to me anyway.
Peronally, I answer to One real boss at the end of the day, and it's not some doctor.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

[MetalMommy]

yea been like ohh i can noly eat gluten free whole grain..bad allergies

[Deborah_Lyn]

LOL! It wouldn't have been difficult to turn down the food---- had the doc not made the "that's rude" comment to someone else for just trying to turn the food down!


oh well....

Send Doc here: http://boards.live.com/Lifestyleboar...px?BoardID=299

Miss Manners: Discuss Your Own Etiquette Dilemmas

It is rude to force food upon a person when they have declined. Remarks after saying no are at their root rude and bordering on pushy.

Tell Doc to read up because Miss manners would not be impressed with his behavior ! :OP

[Haybales]

I would have said I was intolerant of dairy and gluten or something... haha

[humblegenius]

In case people havent realised, we are in a recession, and some parts of the world are in depression (yet they wont admit it). Its all well and good for people to say she should have told the boss to jam it, but in all honesty, for the time being anyway, its much safer to go along. There are 1,000's of people lining up willing to take your job in a heartbeat and no one is irreplaceable. Its a bagel, its not like he sexually harrased her, abused her or was violent. He was trying to make an impression on a rep and he wanted his staff to follow suit.

Im not saying you should always rollover to your boss, but in tough times, my suggestion for inmaterial things such as a bagel, just eat it and move on. Sure, the boss isnt going to fire you over a bagel, but if you are gonna make him "look bad" infront of reps, if he has to make cuts, well, think about.

Some here have said they have told their boss to jam it in the past, which is fine if you have a history of that, but if you dont, are you sure you wanna make your first one about a freakin pastry? My first though as a boss would be "gee, she cares about a bagel but where was her reaction to the such and such incident".

A happy boss is easier to deal with than an extra 20 mintues on a bike to burn a bagel. First you go along, then you get along. Lose a couple of battles if it means you're gonna win the war.

[kitebean]

Yep what metalmommy said!

Simple answer - I don't eat wheat.

I would have said "wow those bagels look DE-licious, unfortunately I have an intolerance to wheat! I really WISH I could have one! perhaps you could bring me a gluten free goodie next time?"

(hehehe but be careful what you ask for because gluten-free goodies are just as carbo-calo-rific!)

[Mustrainhard]

In case people havent realised, we are in a recession, and some parts of the world are in depression (yet they wont admit it). Its all well and good for people to say she should have told the boss to jam it, but in all honesty, for the time being anyway, its much safer to go along. There are 1,000's of people lining up willing to take your job in a heartbeat and no one is irreplaceable. Its a bagel, its not like he sexually harrased her, abused her or was violent. He was trying to make an impression on a rep and he wanted his staff to follow suit.

Im not saying you should always rollover to your boss, but in tough times, my suggestion for inmaterial things such as a bagel, just eat it and move on. Sure, the boss isnt going to fire you over a bagel, but if you are gonna make him "look bad" infront of reps, if he has to make cuts, well, think about.

Some here have said they have told their boss to jam it in the past, which is fine if you have a history of that, but if you dont, are you sure you wanna make your first one about a freakin pastry? My first though as a boss would be "gee, she cares about a bagel but where was her reaction to the such and such incident".

A happy boss is easier to deal with than an extra 20 mintues on a bike to burn a bagel. First you go along, then you get along. Lose a couple of battles if it means you're gonna win the war.

Wow, what a scare-mongerer! If I need to eat a bagel to keep my job, then I am probably in the food-tasting business. But, if you are not and your boss truly might fire you if didnt eat the said bagel, then eat it and immediately start looking for another job.
My co-boss brings in bagels to our joint meetings every week, and some of us dont eat them. I am in my job because people appreciate what I do and how well I do it. Eating other people's food is not in the job description.

[SheWulf]

In case people havent realised, we are in a recession, and some parts of the world are in depression (yet they wont admit it). Its all well and good for people to say she should have told the boss to jam it, but in all honesty, for the time being anyway, its much safer to go along. There are 1,000's of people lining up willing to take your job in a heartbeat and no one is irreplaceable. Its a bagel, its not like he sexually harrased her, abused her or was violent. He was trying to make an impression on a rep and he wanted his staff to follow suit.

Im not saying you should always rollover to your boss, but in tough times, my suggestion for inmaterial things such as a bagel, just eat it and move on. Sure, the boss isnt going to fire you over a bagel, but if you are gonna make him "look bad" infront of reps, if he has to make cuts, well, think about.

Some here have said they have told their boss to jam it in the past, which is fine if you have a history of that, but if you dont, are you sure you wanna make your first one about a freakin pastry? My first though as a boss would be "gee, she cares about a bagel but where was her reaction to the such and such incident".

A happy boss is easier to deal with than an extra 20 mintues on a bike to burn a bagel. First you go along, then you get along. Lose a couple of battles if it means you're gonna win the war.

Lmao, if I ever get fired over a bagel, I'm calling a lawyer. I get what your saying, but I would have just said I had an allergy or something.

[humblegenius]

Wow, what a scare-mongerer! If I need to eat a bagel to keep my job, then I am probably in the food-tasting business. But, if you are not and your boss truly might fire you if didnt eat the said bagel, then eat it and immediately start looking for another job.
My co-boss brings in bagels to our joint meetings every week, and some of us dont eat them. I am in my job because people appreciate what I do and how well I do it. Eating other people's food is not in the job description.

Obviously your boss doesnt get pissed about it like this persons do they. Your boss wont fire you over it, but he/she is not going to be impressed. Like I said, it is worth pissing your boss off over a bagel?

You may be good at your job, but your not irreplacable. I've seen a boss get a set on someone before because they embarrassed them infront of a rep.

This isnt about a bagel, this is about a boss who is trying to impress a rep, and it obviously was important to the boss. Ive had a boss who has made me go and entertain people, drive people around, make delieveries for that client etc, work well and truely below my qualifications/ability/job description, however, a happy boss equals happy job. Its a stupid freakin bagel, why piss someone off over a bagel.

Lmao, if I ever get fired over a bagel, I'm calling a lawyer. I get what your saying, but I would have just said I had an allergy or something.

Its fine to say you have an alergy or something, but what I was getting at was those who were saying to tell their Boss no, and make a song and dance. Making an impression on this rep was important to this boss, is it worth the hassle of embarrasing your boss.

I've seen people fired over things which may have been a breach of the employee code of conduct, and others not even reprimaded for the same thing. I wonder why that was?

[humblegenius]

I think what Im more getting at is if you have a problem with the bagel, you take it up with the boss behind closed doors after the rep has gone. That way you make your point, the boss doesnt get embarrased and you all live happily ever after. This isnt about the bagel to the boss, its about saving face.

If you discuss it with the boss, next time they will prolly make the lie up for you to the rep (oh, shes diabetic, alergic to X, whatever) but at least the boss can do it, and it looks better than a defiant staff member.

You need to explain the reasons why you dont want to eat the garbage (its your lifestyle, its not a diet etc etc), how hard you train to stay in shape etc etc. Dont lie about a condition to the boss, because if your gonna lie, your gonna need a better memory.

Oh, and once you make your point, dont dare show up to work with an unhealthy food item again otherwise you will come off as a hypocrite, and the boss will make comment about it.

[SheWulf]

Oh, and once you make your point, dont dare show up to work with an unhealthy food item again otherwise you will come off as a hypocrite, and the boss will make comment about it.

This happened to me one time on my bday. I went to have some candy, and a bunch of people were teasing me because i usually had eggs or something. WTF i don't pick apart the crap you people eat everyday, can't a girl have some chocolate on her b-day

It's funny how some people eat sh*tty everyday and it's the norm, but if you eat healthy and have a treat, everyone calls you out.

[humblegenius]

This happened to me one time on my bday. I went to have some candy, and a bunch of people were teasing me because i usually had eggs or something. WTF i don't pick apart the crap you people eat everyday, can't a girl have some chocolate on her b-day

It's funny how some people eat sh*tty everyday and it's the norm, but if you eat healthy and have a treat, everyone calls you out.

When I started working at the place I am now three years ago I was about 250 pounds. I started to workout etc and got down to 165, and have been around that weight for two years now (Im about 171 now), however everytime I eat something not deemed healthy I get the "I thought you we on a diet" or the like. Like come on, I dont make comment that they eat fried food each day.

My response if usually "Yeah, but every now and then we all need a blow out". They tend to drop it.

I know its crap, but its the way it is.

[girl81]

Wow, what a scare-mongerer! If I need to eat a bagel to keep my job, then I am probably in the food-tasting business. But, if you are not and your boss truly might fire you if didnt eat the said bagel, then eat it and immediately start looking for another job.
My co-boss brings in bagels to our joint meetings every week, and some of us dont eat them. I am in my job because people appreciate what I do and how well I do it. Eating other people's food is not in the job description.

I agree.