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  1. #1
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    " Your a JERK! "

    I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"

    I politely said, "This is John Reiner and could I please speak to Robin Bishop?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.

    I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.

    After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk . I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung up.

    Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, "You're a jerk!" It would always cheer me up.

    Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID . This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jerk.

    Then one day I had an idea . I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is Joe with the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"

    He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jerk!"


    Later that day I was at the was at the mall and this old lady really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the stall. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

    All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!"

    The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.

    I thought to myself, this guy's a jerk, there's sure a lot of jerks in this world. I noticed he had a For Sale sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

    A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 742-4522 and yelling, "You're a jerk!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial).

    I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

    After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

    "Yes it is."

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

    I said, "What's your name?"

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home in the evenings."

    "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes."

    "Don, you're a jerk!" And I slammed the phone down.

    After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I have two jerks to call. Then after several months of calling the jerks and hanging up on them, the whole thing started to seem like an obligation :boggled: . It just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

    I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution . First, I had my phone dial Jerk #1. A man answered nicely saying,

    "Hello."

    I yelled "You're a jerk!" But I didn't hang up.

    The jerk said, "Are you still there?"

    I said, "Yeah.."

    He said, "Stop calling me."

    I said, "No."

    He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

    I said, "Don Hansen."

    "Where do you live?"

    "1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."

    "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

    "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jerk!" and I hung up.

    Then I called Jerk #2

    He answered, "Hello."

    I said, "Hello, Jerk!"

    He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?"

    "I'll kick your butt."

    "Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jerk!" And I hung up.

    Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them a big gang fight was going down at 1802 West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

    I turned onto 34th Street and parked my car under the shade of a tree half a block from Jerk #2's house. There were two guys fighting out front. Suddenly there were about 12 police cars and a helicopter.

    The police wrestled the two men to the ground and took them away.

    A couple of months go by and I get a call for jury duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with disorderly conduct...


    I heard this on the radio this morning on my way to work and I was laughing so hard My eyes were filled with tears. I thought I would share it for other who havent hear it yet and needs a good laugh.
    Last edited by Fitness-Chic; 03-19-2009 at 12:18 PM.
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  2. #2
    Registered User bscole's Avatar
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    I was laughing so hard I could barely see my computer screen!!! That is hysterical. Gosh I need that after the week, heck the year I have been having.
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  3. #3
    deracate chinese frower Mindi912's Avatar
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    Fitness that freaking hilarious - did you really do this?
    Perfection in mind, perfect body!

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  4. #4
    Registered User rayy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mindi911 View Post
    Fitness that freaking hilarious - did you really do this?
    Nah, it says she heard it on the radio. This was amazing tho...
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  5. #5
    a true savage Procta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mindi911 View Post
    Fitness that freaking hilarious - did you really do this?
    hey you're a...






















    you know
    #triggered

    making victims out of SJWs
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  6. #6
    Registered User pryme's Avatar
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    Old joke but a funny one.
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  7. #7
    deracate chinese frower Mindi912's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rayy View Post
    Nah, it says she heard it on the radio. This was amazing tho...
    LOL I was so busy laughing I missed that bit.

    Originally Posted by Procta View Post
    hey you're a...

    you know
    You too.
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  8. #8
    That's not my name. Finner's Avatar
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    Omg! I Loved This!!!
    I am, after all, a heavenly blessed beauty, whose inner beauty and beauty is simply divine and everlasting.

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  9. #9
    ummmmm delicious user18799886210's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Finner View Post
    Omg! I Loved This!!!
    You thought you could hide, didn't yo u...
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  10. #10
    Banned Fitness-Chic's Avatar
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    Yeah old joke but when he was telling it on the radio I was crying I was laughing so hard...... while I was driving. Im just glad it was still dark out or I would have looked pretty lame to other drivers...lol.
    It funnier when someone is telling it rather than having to read it but it's still freakin hilarious.


    Im glad you all enjoyed it thou.
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  11. #11
    S1NN3R G0N3 G00D NotBigEnough206's Avatar
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    meh I didnt even chuckle, one the camaro guy I would have slashed his tires

    the guy that hung up on me

    meh who cares I hang up one people all the time
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  12. #12
    Banned Fitness-Chic's Avatar
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    Wink

    Originally Posted by NotBigEnough206 View Post
    meh I didnt even chuckle, one the camaro guy I would have slashed his tires

    the guy that hung up on me

    meh who cares I hang up one people all the time
    Well thats alright everyone's sence of humor is different .

    Thanks for the reply
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  13. #13
    Registered User Minnie_Muscles's Avatar
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    i've hear this before but i laugh every time thanks for sharing!
    one meal, one workout, one day at a time!
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  14. #14
    Registered User SunnyAZGrl's Avatar
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    That is hilarious! I haven't heard it before.

    Reminds me of my mother's mis-dialed calls. There's this woman who will call her several times a week and ask for Margaret, whom is apparently her sister. Six months later, this woman is still dialing my mother's number looking for Margaret!
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    Banned Fitness-Chic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Minnie_Muscles View Post
    i've hear this before but i laugh every time thanks for sharing!
    Well good....


    Originally Posted by SunnyAZGrl View Post
    That is hilarious! I haven't heard it before.

    Reminds me of my mother's mis-dialed calls. There's this woman who will call her several times a week and ask for Margaret, whom is apparently her sister. Six months later, this woman is still dialing my mother's number looking for Margaret!

    Man poor lady.... just doesnt have a clue. I wonder if she has ever actually gotten a hold of her sis. lol
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  16. #16
    Registered User cawagner01's Avatar
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    Just read this thread. That is funny stuff! Thanks.. reps.
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  17. #17
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    Amen to karma

    Awesome post. I loved it !!!!
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