How often do men in the military cheat?

[rapture77]

Petty question, but i don't know much as far as how much time they have to themselves.

My boyfriend's thinking about signing up for the Air Force (not sure if he's going in the reserves or not... doesn't want to because of $$). We're both very sexual people, we've been together for about a year & two days without anything is extremely rare. We can't even stand next to eachother without some sort of groping.

I've never gone more than a month and a half without sex since i was 15 (i've had boyfriends one after the other, i don't sleep around). He's a little concerned that i'll "find someone else" if he's away because i "need d*ck". I know that's unlikely because i have absolutely no interest in other guys, if i was that much of a nymph than i would have us brake up while he's away. But i think that's disgusting.

There were a couple months when we were fighting all the time, the relationship was pretty sh*tty & we both couldn't stand eachother. During that time, he was flirting with other girls (over the internet, they didn't live around here), & exchanging pics. I never did anything like that because i was still with him & it's disrespectful.

Since that's been catching up with him (i didn't findout about alot of it until things were going well again) he's straightened out because he wants it to work out. When talking about joining the military he said something like "we'll most likely be married within the next 3-4 years so you'd just live on base with me". I still have some trust issues & he lives with me, so i can't imagine how much of a wreck i'd be not knowing what he's doing.

Cliffs:
-Both of us are extremely sexual people.
-Relationship was rocky for a couple months, boyfriend did sh*t behind my back during that time (nothing physical). I didn't findout until things were going well again, so it's "catching up with him".
-Relationship is going great now but i still feel like i have trust problems because he lied so many times. He wants to go in the Air Force.

[Stafor]

Dont do it.

[willoughby]

Your 20, one of you will sleep around or suspect the other of sleeping around and that will be the begining of the end.

Sorry, that's how it works.

[Shouji]

Speaking from personal experience, my dad who was married for 15 years, got stationed in Korea by himself for 2 years, ended up cheating on my mom.

Just sayin.

[rapture77]

Your 20, one of you will sleep around or suspect the other of sleeping around and that will be the begining of the end.

Sorry, that's how it works.

Are you really 16? If so, please withdraw your response. Thanks.

[willoughby]

Are you really 16? If so, please withdraw your response. Thanks.

Me being 16 doesn't mean anything, i'm not an idiot, if your so sure i'm wrong, go ahead, marry him, but when you DO end up getting divorced i want a very nice post card saying i was right.


That is all

[MattLAX0473]

one of ya'll will end up cheatin on the other. sad truth but thats how it is

[rainieravesouth]

i usually associate cheating with the women dating the men in the military.

[rapture77]

Speaking from personal experience, my dad who was married for 15 years, got stationed in Korea by himself for 2 years, ended up cheating on my mom.

Just sayin.

That's the impression i get from men in the military. My uncle left his wife for a Korean girl. My friend's brother (who is engaged) goes to strip clubs/bars & hooks up with girls (his fiancee is also seeing other people, girls, she's bi, so i guess that's a different situation). Pretty much everyone i know.

If my boyfriend was sent away for that long, even for a year, i wouldn't deal with it. I never want to have a long distance relationship. He hasn't talked to the recruiter yet but i'm hoping he just joins the reserves so he stays in the states.

[rapture77]

Me being 16 doesn't mean anything, i'm not an idiot, if your so sure i'm wrong, go ahead, marry him, but when you DO end up getting divorced i want a very nice post card saying i was right.


That is all

=P I'll remember this! haha
I see what you mean because i'd assume that too but we've both already went through "party" phases (he's 23) & want to settle down a bit.

[Shouji]

You guys are still both young, love is about the now moment, it shouldn't ever be long distance imo.

[-SLASH-]

****ty responses filled with inexperience.

Here is the bottom line - your B/F will be presented with the opportunity to cheat a lot while he's in the military. Or at least it depends on where he's based at.

Now here is the point - if there is no trust, and if he has no control over his emotions, you might as well forget it. You having and/or displaying trust issues isn't helping the problem, either. Put it like this - if you can't trust your partner, then why in the hell are you in a monogamous relationship with them in the first place?

[GetItBack]

I grew up in L.A. and joined the AF in 1982. I thought there was a lot of sexual activity in L.A., it's nothing compared to the service.
And if he gets stationed overseas? Fugget about it! Foreign women still love American men.

Just my 2 cents.

[rapture77]

****ty responses filled with inexperience.

Here is the bottom line - your B/F will be presented with the opportunity to cheat a lot while he's in the military. Or at least it depends on where he's based at.

Now here is the point - if there is no trust, and if he has no control over his emotions, you might as well forget it. You having and/or displaying trust issues isn't helping the problem, either. Put it like this - if you can't trust your partner, then why in the hell are you in a monogamous relationship with them in the first place?

I know that he'll be going to San Antonio, TX (i think San Antonio?) for 6-8 weeks for basic training... but i don't know what comes next.

He's had more then... i'd say 3 long distance relationships. Obviously they didn't work out but it's not something new to him. I've never (& would never) have one, i told him that too. He says part of why he wants to is to make things better for us in the long run, it's also been something he's always thought of doing so it's not some random impulse.

I know now he wants things to work out with us but like i said, i refuse to stay if it's going to be long distance. Not because of sex, but because i don't want to risk the anxiety & possibly getting hurt. One time he told me he was invited to his friend's bachelor party (there was going to be girls & strippers), he had a girlfriend at the time & didn't go because he didn't want to put himself in a tempting situation.
THIS part of him kills me. I love how... can't think of a word... sexually outgoing? you know what i mean... he is with me, but it also worries the sh*t out of me.

[rapture77]

I grew up in L.A. and joined the AF in 1982. I thought there was a lot of sexual activity in L.A., it's nothing compared to the service.
And if he gets stationed overseas? Fugget about it! Foreign women still love American men.

Just my 2 cents.

Hahaha he's lived in Los Angeles, twice actually.

Girls love military dudes (i don't... i think of douche bags & perverts, no offense!).

[rapture77]

Bump!

[Kapisnaki]

Bump!

I'm saying youre more likely to cheat

[Cell-Tech Daddy]

its very easy to generalise here. It all comes down to the type of person you and yur BF are. Just because he is military and you ar a military GF doesnt mean you will cheat. I lasted 4 years away in the military from my GF. We didnt cheat on each other, however we did break up when I finally got out of the military (ironic?)

[KennyK]

actually you DO have interest in other guys, you just make them become your boyfriend before you bang them. lol

[Paul S25]

The way I see it, your BF was flirting and looking elsewhere when you had that 2 months of rocky ground, and that was when you were living together. Whats gonna happen when you have a fight based on insecurity, he flips out and starts doing the same thing again? This time he might act on what he is doing, especially if he is out with his air force buddies.

If you have issues from the start then in my experiences the relationship usually doesn't survive.

Note, I said usually. I know people who have both had affairs and they're both madly in love again after 30 years of marriage.

[rapture77]

The way I see it, your BF was flirting and looking elsewhere when you had that 2 months of rocky ground, and that was when you were living together. Whats gonna happen when you have a fight based on insecurity, he flips out and starts doing the same thing again? This time he might act on what he is doing, especially if he is out with his air force buddies.

My point exactly. He doesn't comprehend this. He thinks i'm unsure about him joining because i'm "being selfish".
I'm just going to have a talk with him when he gets home from work tonight. I don't know what else to say but to tell him i've never wanted to be with someone in the military, i wouldn't be able to handle it with HIM, & if he decides to go then it's completely over. It kills me to be like that but i can't force myself to stick around in a potential sh*t situation. He's given me no reason to trust him.

[rapture77]

actually you DO have interest in other guys, you just make them become your boyfriend before you bang them. lol

Oh be quiet =P

[rapture77]

Bump

[hemi_n_cali]

(a military kid myself) I know alot of military men and not to say anything bad about them. I hear alot of great story's but i cannot say i know many men that have not cheated in the military. The military is a very tough thing for a mariage and most people have no idea what there really getting themselves into.

[Oneandonlysunkist]

its very easy to generalise here. It all comes down to the type of person you and yur BF are. Just because he is military and you ar a military GF doesnt mean you will cheat. I lasted 4 years away in the military from my GF. We didnt cheat on each other, however we did break up when I finally got out of the military (ironic?)

You're 21 now. You seriously think she was faithful from 17-21? The time that most girls get wild? If she did then awesome but I highly doubt it.

[Lieb]

You already know the solution to all your questions, it seems you just don't want to fully realize them. Easier said than done I know, and it's human nature to want to hold onto things out of comfort; we've all been there.

If you guys aren't married there is little chance your relationship will last. If you are married there is still little chance because you're both very young and the marriage would be a tad forced by circumstance (this is the case for most young military marriages). This is also why so many of them fail.
bottom line: prognosis negative

[hai2dehfolks]

You guys are still both young, love is about the now moment, it shouldn't ever be long distance imo.

I concur.

[blumpkin415]

He's thinking of joining the Chair Force?

That's breakup material right there. lol

[New_York]

Let me enlighten you... and I surely do not speak for all military men but...


After a 6, 8, or 12 month deployment... you start looking at women differently... and under the right circumstances... who knows what can happen?

[bluemarlinO4]

yeah af girls esp are hoes and so are most army girls. they thrive for attention from dudes esp in places like here in iraq. the opportunity to cheat comes up all the time, overseas foreign women love military men.

your 20, prob wont work out. sorry to break it to ya.