Me and my girl work together and there's this guy there who we always worked with (been there for about a year+.. we both got hired together) but lately they've been extra close to each other. This kid broke up with his gf about a month ago and a couple days prior to christmas, they'd text a LOT. And whenever they work together, they're ALWAYS with eachother and she always says how funny he is and how she loves working with him. I swear this kids trying to get with her because she worked last Saturday night til midnight.. he comes in at 11:30 just to visit her for the last 30 mins. And she says he comes in a LOT to visit her at work when hes not working.
Anyway, she had her phone shut off for nearly 2 weeks and the 1st thing he said to her when they worked together was "way to respond, i thought you were trying to ignore me" or something. Anyway, she got her phone back 2 days ago and yesterday i was on the phone with her and literally EVERY minute for the 1st hour shed have to say hold on while she texted him.. and shed text him some long ass fukcin novel. It pissed me off and i called her out on it and she called me paranoid..
Im not really suspicious somethings up.. just more pissed off shes texting this d-bag EVERY other minute while on the phone with me last night.
I wouldnt be AS mad if she didnt forbid me talking to my 1 friend.. i was really close with this 1 girl, shes 1 of my closest friends and wed talk alot and she said she doesnt want me talking to her cuz it bothers her. So, should i tell her to stop texting this kid cuz its pissing me off? or is that too controlling of me?
CLIFFS
-G/F constantly joking around w/ other kid we work with
-Theyve gotten extra close lately
-Constantly texting him while on the phone with me
-Last night for the 1st hour she texted him literally every other minute while on the phone w me
-She gets pissed when i talk to other girls - told me to stop talking to my 1 friend whos a girl cuz it got her mad
-Should i tell her to stop texting him?
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Results 1 to 30 of 216
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01-09-2009, 10:09 AM #1Registered User
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Girlfriend's talking to this kid we work with nonstop
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01-09-2009, 10:11 AM #2Banned
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You're not paranoid. These are signs.
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01-09-2009, 10:25 AM #3Registered User
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You have every right to feel how you do. I'm sure she's done nothing yet, but if she denies the facts (that he wants her etc)... then she's being disrespectful to you. I'm not saying dump her over this, but definitely let her know what you think. If she gives you some BS about it's nothing and you're paranoid, tell her you value open communication and these are the facts as you see them, and have those facts listed out in your mind ahead of time.
This is a classic scenario... and she knows it. She probably doesn't even like the guy at all in the way she likes you... just enjoys the new found attention and it passes time at work quickly.
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01-09-2009, 10:29 AM #4Registered User
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Yeah well we talked about it alot last night and i said for her to put herself in my situation and reverse the facts.. she said shed be mad too. She said shed wanna punch the girl in the face if it was her. I didnt tell her to stop communication with him though, i might if this continues, thoughOriginally Posted by brianphi
And i understand the passing time at work quickly part.. i do that sometimes with other coworkers there.. that doesnt mean id have a long text convo with them at 1030 at night, while on the phone with my girlfriend. ya know what i mean?
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01-09-2009, 10:30 AM #5Never pet a burning dog.
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This.Originally Posted by WilyCoder
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01-09-2009, 10:31 AM #6Registered User
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get a 2nd gf on the side and let things play out
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01-09-2009, 10:32 AM #7Registered User
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Yeah, in a way she forbid me from talking to her. I talked to her a lot on the phone too... she just said she doesnt want me talkin to her cuz it bothers me. I dont talk to her like that on the phone anymore.. but still text her.Originally Posted by JTLDN
The thing is, i dont think shes gonna cheat with him.. i mean if i find out they hangout outside of work then no doubt about it im gonna raise hell.
And he doesnt even know she has a boyfriend.. we dont want people at work knowing our business, so he probably thinks shes single
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01-09-2009, 10:34 AM #8Registered User
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Thats a huge red flag right there.Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
Dont get attached to this girl.Just Starting Out/Currently On:
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01-09-2009, 10:36 AM #9Registered User
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I've been attached.. thats the horrible thing. I actually think im in love with her.. thats the ****ty part. I asked her if he knows she has a boyfriend, she said no.. then i said tell him and she said no because word will get around and people will eventually find out.Originally Posted by scarletngrey
That REALLY pissed me off.. so much that if he ever texts her when im with her, im taking her phone and sending him a message "my boyfriend doesnt like me talking to you. bye" or something... i'd HATE to be crazy like that, but seriously.. she does the SAME thing whenever a girl texts me
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01-09-2009, 10:36 AM #10Registered User
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Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
So your GF gets to talk to some other douchebag )who clearly likes her) constantly... all the while you are "forbidden" from talking to your female friend?
WTF is with the rash of guys in the RH section lately who seem to forget they have testicles?
OP... next time your GF is over... text your "friend". When GF asks you who you are texting tell her the truth... but say it nonchalantly. When she gives you some version of "I don't want you talking ot her... stop" simply say "no... if you get to constantly talk to (insert douchebags name) there is no reason I can't talk to my friend whom I have known for much longer". Don't say it in a belligerent/pouty/I'm sulking because you talk to douchebag sorty of way... but just in a matter of fact/this issue has been decided and you aren't changing my mind sort of way.
The fact she thinks it's ok to talk to this guy so much... and constantly right in front of you via text... all the while "forbidding" you to talk to your friend shows she doesn't respct you... and more importantly shows you are willing to let yourself be treated like a doormat.
Oh... and as an earlier poster stated... yes... you should be worried... I can't rememeber the last time I saw a chick who talked alot with a guy and kept mentioning how "funny" he was didn't wind up getting with him in short order.F*ck Kidney Cancer
"The only thing that gives you strength is pain" - Higher Peaks
"I am wounded but am not slain. I will lie down to rest awhile, but will rise to fight again." - Anonymous
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01-09-2009, 10:39 AM #11Registered User
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Thanks man, thats EXACTLY what im gonna do next time im with her. Fukc her if shes gonna be a hypocrite, im not gonna cut off communication with my friend just cuz she tells me to.. wtf was i thinking in the first place? SeriouslyOriginally Posted by irishjackmp
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01-09-2009, 10:40 AM #12Unorthodox
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The whole situation sounds funny, but I'm not going to comment since people like to leave the more important details out. I will however comment on a couple things I thought were important to comment on:
That is really just a respect issue.Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
You made the biggest mistake here. Now tell me, why did you make this mistake?I wouldnt be AS mad if she didnt forbid me talking to my 1 friend.."Courage without a conscience is a wild beast."-Robert G. Ingersoll
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01-09-2009, 10:40 AM #13Registered User
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Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
Absolutely know what you mean... there's a line you have to draw in regards to what is appropriate and what's not, she has not drawn that line with her buddy.
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01-09-2009, 10:42 AM #14Registered User
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I was with a girl like this in the past. She went off on every girl I was friends with because she would get so jealous and ****. Meanwhile she still talked to all her guy friends (a couple of which asked her out while she was even with me, and it took her a while to tell them she was not single), and it bothered me because it was a complete double standard, but I let it slide because I didnt really care. Im not a controlling or jealous guy.Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
Bad mistake. Any girl that ever came into my life and showed me attention, she would get freaked out and paranoid about, meanwhile she was allowed to get picked up by her guy friends and do whatever.
Then we broke up and she told me it was because I was controlling. Absolutely ridiculous. Girls play and **** around and do **** like this all the time.
You need to bring the hammer down and tell her whats up. Say you arent gonna put up with it and you arent gonna be with her if its gonna be like that.Just Starting Out/Currently On:
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01-09-2009, 10:42 AM #15Registered User
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It's ok for a girl in a relationship to have guy-friends but it sounds like your girl is forgetting that you are her boyfriend. The main sign that sent a signal to me is the fact that she is bothered that you talk to another girl. In general, girls are more upset by their boyfriend giving more emotional attention to another girl where guys get bothered easier when they think a guy is giving their girl too much physical attention. It sounds like she doesn't want you to have that emotional friendship with the other girl but she thinks its ok for her to have that connection with another guy. Definitely signs to watch out for. Next time she is texting him while you are on the phone with her, just hang up and don't call back or answer for the rest of the night. She'll get the hint.
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01-09-2009, 10:44 AM #16Registered User
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Honestly, I wouldn't go down the playing games route of trying to make her jealous, it won't do anything positive for your relationship or the communication in it.
You're not a B*tch for calling her out on it either. It's a very good thing to let people know what you think and what you're expectations are rather than watch things go to hell then whine and complain about it later. Set the bar, if she doesn't meet it, you've done your piece and have no regrets.. you move on from there.
Even if she cannot say YOU are her bf due to work or whatever, I'm surprised she hasn't asserted to this guy she HAS A BOYFRIEND... HUGE RED FLAG in my opinion... she is having her cake and eating it... and all without hiding it. Another thing I've noticed in my years is that the people most concerned about their SO having friendships are ussually the ones that have something to hide (which in turn makes them assume you do too and they are more jealous than they should be)
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01-09-2009, 11:12 AM #17Registered User
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Time for a serious talk man. Not a immature jealousy talk, but a serious talk face to face about common sense and respect in a relationship. Just lay all your cards out on the table ans say this is what I expect, I know for a fact you would expect the same in return, if you cant give me that, then I dont se us having a future together. If she makes changes, then stick around. If she continues her bull****, find a girl who will at least respect you in a relationship... Better to get out now then waste more time and energy into a relationship that is going nowhere.
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01-09-2009, 11:13 AM #18Registered User
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^^^ very mature and direct approach. Skip the BS, address the issue.
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01-09-2009, 11:19 AM #19hamsom brah
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This.Originally Posted by rampagefc77
OP - you're being disrespected and your relationship "rules" seem to be going one way but not the other. Your girl is loving this attention she's getting from this other guy and leading him on but you're not even allowed to talk to other women? Talk it out and see if you need to walk it out.
EDIT: upon thought, just walk it out NOW. Where there's smoke there's fire; she's definitely interested.Last edited by Dom_88; 01-09-2009 at 12:56 PM.
Friendship b/w women:
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a girlfriend's place. Her husband calls 10 of her best friends. None know anything about it.
Friendship b/w men:
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's place. His wife calls 10 of the husband's best friends. 8 of them confirm he slept over, the other 2 claim he's still there.
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01-09-2009, 11:19 AM #20Registered User
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tell her how men think and show her that what this guy is doing isnt normal behavior unless hes gay. and tell her your uncomfortable with them talking as she was with you and her friend, no BS, no sugar coating, just straight up sit down and have a talk. its like damn you cant give your boyfriend one hour to talk on the phone without having to text this guy? cant you tell him to hold on for a while because your talking to your damn boyfriend? lay it down on her
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01-09-2009, 11:28 AM #21Registered User
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Yes these are very bad signs, but you have made some big mistakes too. You are allowing her to do this,
First of all, why are you talking to your girlfriend on the phone for more than an hour? This is a huge mistake, unless the relationship is long distance (which it isn't). You are entering friend zone if you just chat it up with her on the phone. Be busy. Don't act like her girlfriend, act like her boyfriend.
Second, you allowed your girlfriend to "forbid" you to talk to someone. Does she own you? Never allow a girlfriend to forbid you to do anything, other than directly cheating on her. You're the man, act like it.
Third, you have every right to be pissed off at her for this. Tell her you're ****ing pissed. Tell her if she wants to be with him, she should go for it because you don't even care anymore. Also, talk to the guy and tell him to back the **** off your girlfriend. Don't threaten him, just assertively tell him that he will stop being close friends with her for the time being.
Honestly I think it is already too late for this relationship. Be ready to move on. Just learn form it, and in your next relationship make sure that you are the one in control.Last edited by RAWN-PAWL; 01-09-2009 at 11:31 AM.
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01-09-2009, 11:30 AM #22Registered User
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"Don't want people to know our business" <----------wtf is this ****? I couldn't be with a chick if she didnt want people to know we were going out. That there is my bish and the whole world can know for all I care. Who's idea was it to not let people know your business? Was it hers? Oh because she still wants to get attention from guys because she's an attention whore. Here's what you do. In the middle of work while she's chatting up Mr.Oneitis for your girlfriend guy you walk right up and grab her and kiss her passionately while he sits there with his jaw wide open
and his dick falls off in shame. Your girl is pulling some serious bull**** on you and if she insists on keeping it up she doesnt deserve to be your girl.
"Don't want people knowing our business"=I want guys to hit on me still because I am a stupid bish.
Thing is this guy is probably in the friend zone with 0 percent chance of stealing your girl but imagine if he does. You would feel like the worlds biggest douchebag am I right? Fuk it. Situation ends now.Spike92 is 15.
^ place this in your sig to remind the world that Spike92 is indeed 15 and will never be anything other than 15.
When im not hungry I eat. When Im tired I train. When I feel like giving up I push harder.
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01-09-2009, 11:30 AM #23Banned
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Did anyone else think of Pam and Jim reading this?
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01-09-2009, 11:38 AM #24Registered User
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I don't get the whole "I don't want anyone to know our business." crap either like some other posts have said. I would want her to be proud that she is in a relationship with me, not try to hide it. Regardless, she should just say she has a boyfriend and not say who it is. Once he hears the word boyfriend he will back down real quick.
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01-09-2009, 11:42 AM #25Registered User
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OP,
I completely missed the part where she said she has made no mention of having a BF... wow... just wow man. I know you like her... but she is seriously getting ready to dump you for him. There is no chance her "I don't want anyone to know our business" line isn't BS.
She just wants to ensure he really is interested in her romantically before she dumps you. You have morphed in to being backup guy withouth even knowing it.F*ck Kidney Cancer
"The only thing that gives you strength is pain" - Higher Peaks
"I am wounded but am not slain. I will lie down to rest awhile, but will rise to fight again." - Anonymous
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01-09-2009, 11:53 AM #26Registered User
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The thing about female logic, especially when it comes to dating and relationships is it tends to be completely selfish and not consider the other person, only what "she" wants. She wants a boyfriend, and she wants guys to flirt with her and get attention from them. You want a girlfriend and for dickheads not to be all over her. She doesnt care that you want that, only what she wants computes through her brain. Not all girls are like this though. So you have to ask yourself, is this girl worth the bull****? Or would you be happier with someone who is less retarded?
Getting attached before you know whether the girl is worth it or not is a huge mistake.Last edited by Big Slim DaDDy; 01-09-2009 at 11:55 AM.
Spike92 is 15.
^ place this in your sig to remind the world that Spike92 is indeed 15 and will never be anything other than 15.
When im not hungry I eat. When Im tired I train. When I feel like giving up I push harder.
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01-09-2009, 11:56 AM #27Yea Buddy
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Do this and QUICK!Originally Posted by SUSprinter
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01-09-2009, 12:15 PM #28Registered User
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I mean her friends and her guy friends and ex boyfriends know im her boyfriend and know that she has 1. She just doesnt want people at work to know were in a relationship.. it was like that before they even started texting eachother. Is that still a bad sign? Should i talk to her about that?
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01-09-2009, 12:16 PM #29Registered User
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Reminds me of a Family Guy scene.
Singer:This goes out to all the ladies out there
Peter:*comes running from all the way of back of the auditorium and punches the guy in the face*Spike92 is 15.
^ place this in your sig to remind the world that Spike92 is indeed 15 and will never be anything other than 15.
When im not hungry I eat. When Im tired I train. When I feel like giving up I push harder.
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01-09-2009, 12:16 PM #30Ruthless4Life
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That's the problem.Originally Posted by fightin_irish42
Don't **** where you eat.
and his dick falls off in shame. Your girl is pulling some serious bull**** on you and if she insists on keeping it up she doesnt deserve to be your girl.
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