ALCOHOLICS: RECOVERY & FITNESS (Serious Only Please)

[twisttx]

Happy sunday everyone!

Happy Friday. Er. Saturday now I reckon.

The alcohol companies don't help by selling 30 packs

I never bought more than a twelve pack. Plus a big bud. Plus whatever I bought at the bar between this and that. I guess I'm grateful I never bought a 30-pack. I would've thought I had to drink it. All. Now.

In other news, I celebrated six years on the 7th. This time of year is always interesting for me. I go through the same New Years kind of thing that a lot of people do, I guess. But I tack on a survey of how successful I think I've been living sober. Did I grow any? Did I learn anything? Did I contribute to the welfare of others? Did I pack everything I could into the stream of life?

I feel like I came up short this past year. I've had a couple of health problems (some still ongoing) that I think really slowed me up in some areas. I'm looking forward to hopefully doing more service this year, and contributing more to the lives of those around me. First thing to do--is get me in better shape. Help me to help them.

Hope everyone is doing well. Take care out there friends.

[mirroroferised]

Just an awesome accomplishment on the 6 years twist!!! Well done.

[BackwoodsGa]

Hello everyone. Hope all is well.

[Magnolia916]

I may not be posting this in the proper forum but hopefully one of you veterans can offer me some direction!

I am not an alcoholic, I don't think. I did however from the age of 20-25 binge drink about 3 times a week, regularly blacking out. I am now able to enjoy a couple of drinks and happily stop there...most of the time. I can get over zealous and find myself drunk during social drinking occasions. Maybe I do qualify as an alcoholic?

Currently, I am in a long term, live-in relationship with a man who over the past year I have lost to the bottle. When we began dating two years ago, he hardly drank at all. Now he drinks every night after work. He displays all of the signs of alcoholism. He has verbally admitted his problem to me in the past on more than one occasion. I have an extreme amount of love for him and faith in him but am losing respect for him. The fear for his future, my future, our future is beginning to consume me. I have attended an al-anon meeting it helps on some level for a short period of time. It's more personal than the insight I am seeking. I should state that, I am not currently interested in leaving my boyfriend. I see how difficult this disease is to overcome and would like (if possible) to play a positive role in his recovery. I see him try to recover on his own by rationing out his daily intake but, he always ends up making a second and sometimes third trip to the liquor store.

Could any of you please offer me advice on:
1. How to approach this topic with him?
2. How to behave or interact with a struggling alcoholic when they are drinking? (What did you find helpful or hindering from your SO?)
3. Would it make a difference if I lived a completely sober life?
4. When he does something foolish due to being drunk (i.e.)rude to hostess of gathering or vomiting everywhere) should I help or is that counterproductive to an alcoholics process?

I have googled and read up on these questions to find that I am reading the opinions of doctors who likely have not been on the other side of the fence, and the collected advice is not uniform. I have also read that wanting to support him means that there is a problem with me and that I should runaway from him as fast as I can. Al'anon however suggested that I don't make a decision for six months. Any real life insight will be deeply appreciated.

BF is an alcoholic. Father and grandfather were as well.

1. You can't, really. Short of an outright intervention, you can't. You can only leave and remove yourself from the situation.

2. You can't. When they're drinking, the only thing that matters at the time is the drink. Not you.

3. Nope. Your drinking or not really doesn't matter nor will it change his drinking.

4. The only thing that has any chance of getting them to change is having to experience the negative consequences of their drinking. Never, under any circumstances, help them avoid those consequences. If he's doing something to embarrass himself, or even get himself in trouble - whether at work, or with the law - let him.

[twisttx]

Just an awesome accomplishment on the 6 years twist!!! Well done.

Thank you.

[twisttx]

BF is an alcoholic. Father and grandfather were as well.

1. You can't, really. Short of an outright intervention, you can't. You can only leave and remove yourself from the situation.

2. You can't. When they're drinking, the only thing that matters at the time is the drink. Not you.

3. Nope. Your drinking or not really doesn't matter nor will it change his drinking.

4. The only thing that has any chance of getting them to change is having to experience the negative consequences of their drinking. Never, under any circumstances, help them avoid those consequences. If he's doing something to embarrass himself, or even get himself in trouble - whether at work, or with the law - let him.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Big_Sky_Guy]

Congrats Twist!


And right on the money Magnolia. We need to experience every consequence.

[BackwoodsGa]

Had a longtime friend call earlier. Discovered he's dying of cancer due to his heavy alcohol consumption. He's leaving 4 children and 16 grandchildren behind due to this illness. This hits hard.

[twisttx]

Had a longtime friend call earlier. Discovered he's dying of cancer due to his heavy alcohol consumption. He's leaving 4 children and 16 grandchildren behind due to this illness. This hits hard.

Sure hate to hear that. Sometimes those consequences are pretty d@mn harsh. I've done a great deal of damage myself. If only for overs...

All we can do is do the best we can today. In thinking about your friend, I think we do far more damage to those around us than we ever do to ourselves. I used to think if I could go live on a mountain I would have gone right on ahead and drank myself to death. No would have had to watch it--no one would have known. I'm certain that some of the health problems I am having now are as a result of, if not flat out alcohol consumption, my total failure to take any care of my health whatsoever. And what hurts me the most is watching my parents. I sometimes wish I didn't live so close to them. But for the most part, it's been beneficial in that it allows me to help them. Bah.

Stay safe out there friends.

[BackwoodsGa]

The sad fact is that this all boils down to a matter of choice. We make choices and we're stuck with them.my friend was warned over 10 years ago that he was facing serious illness and early death but he refused to give up the alcohol nonetheless.

[Raidersfan13]

Hope you all had a nice sober weekend!

I visited my parents and helped them wall mount a new TV, replaced the brake pads and rotors on my car, and got in an awesome hike. Its amazing what one can accomplish when you dont feel like roadkill from being hungover. Have a great week ahead and stick with it!

[CatFunt]

Hi folks, my journey so far.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...post1421210801

[Mark1T]

Hi folks, my journey so far.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...post1421210801

Excellent.

[jessdeluxe]

first off congrats to all of you with your sobriety. i really wish i can do the same. three times last week blackout drunk. im so sick of booze controlling my life and its really killing my body.

[DoctorEis]

first off congrats to all of you with your sobriety. i really wish i can do the same. three times last week blackout drunk. im so sick of booze controlling my life and its really killing my body.

I know your pain brother and I made the decision to trade alcohol for bodybuilding yesterday. Now I just need to act on it.

[LadyLore420]

I know your pain brother and I made the decision to trade alcohol for bodybuilding yesterday. Now I just need to act on it.

Stop typing, go friggin lift. Get out the gym and lift. If you see a beer bottle empty or full, pick it up and throw it at something. Worth it.

[dan90Xdan]

I’ll be 30 later this year…. I’ve struggled with alcoholism throughout my 20’s, starting out when I was 20 in a very bad situation, and ending it drinking every weekend. I’m not unsuccessful, but I use to have dreams and goals. The last few years, say since I was 25 or so, its just been a whirlwind. I work 50-60 hours during the week at a job that pays well, but binge on Fridays. The last 6 months or so, work has slowed down. I don’t have to put in a full day in the office anymore, and find myself drinking Wend. or Thurs. As I age, I find it harder and harder to get over a drinking day. Not necessarily the hangover itself, but how I feel in the days which follow a drink. When I was a child my favorite show was the secret world of Alex Mack. She could turn herself into a puddle of liquid in situations which called for it. I feel like doing so following days when I drink; I’m so depressed and ashamed, I feel like turning into a puddle and just seeping through the floor just to get away from it all. My great-grandfather drank himself to death in the 60’s, my grandfather was a great man, and managed to balance drinking and living, but everyone still knew and it affected his life in many ways. My father is in his 50’s, he’s dealt with this his whole life, and his fourth wife of 15 years is leaving him because of it. His brother was a wild alcoholic, he managed to get his phd, but drank himself to death last year, he was only 48. I always knew what I would face, but thought when life hit the road, I’d do what was needed. I worked my ass off in my 20’s even with the drinking, and I’m in a good place job wise. But these last six months, drinking at least once a week and then trying to recover, its gotten to me. Even more, I’m disappointed in myself, I’m better than this, but still end up drinking. Like I said, for about 5-6 years now I’ve been putting in 50-60 hours a week in at work, and kinda felt like I deserved a drink at the end of the week. But lately, with work slowing down….I just feel like a failure when I drink. And I don’t see a way out of it, I don’t even know if I want out of it because of the depression. I feel like this is the way It’s going to be until I drink myself to death like my uncle in his 40’s. With work slowing down, I don’t see a way out of it.

[Knickerbocker21]

Used to post in this thread. Stopped drinking for a few months and started up again. Been about a year and a half since I started drinking again and was too embarrassed to come back to this thread. Well here I am again. I need to stop for my well being. This thread helped keep me accountable so gonna start posting here again.

[EjnarKolinkar]

Used to post in this thread. Stopped drinking for a few months and started up again. Been about a year and a half since I started drinking again and was too embarrassed to come back to this thread. Well here I am again. I need to stop for my well being. This thread helped keep me accountable so gonna start posting here again.

That's good.

I went back out twice before my latest run sober of 4+ years. And man, I am glad I made it back. Not proud of the track record, but I post about it in this thread so folks know it can be done. Heh, if I can do it anybody can. Some people put together some sobriety and waste time feeling ashamed they pissed it away. That's bullcrap, thing is not to use feeling ashamed as an excuse to stay out. It's all one day at a time anyway. Today is the important day.

So anyway, good to see you ITT.

[Knickerbocker21]

That's good.

I went back out twice before my latest run sober of 4+ years. And man, I am glad I made it back. Not proud of the track record, but I post about it in this thread so folks know it can be done. Heh, if I can do it anybody can. Some people put together some sobriety and waste time feeling ashamed they pissed it away. That's bullcrap, thing is not to use feeling ashamed as an excuse to stay out. It's all one day at a time anyway. Today is the important day.

So anyway, good to see you ITT.

Thanks for the support man, I appreciate the kind words and it helps to hear your story.

My current struggle is that I love my friends and would take a bullet for all of them, but I've been thinking about cutting them out of my life lately. All pretty heavy drinkers but really good guys, successful etc. Not sure what to do. Maybe be 100% honest with them about my drinking so they don't pressure me? Most activities we do involve drinking so I'm currently stuck and don't know to do. Would appreciate stories from anyone that went through the same.

[raynerd]

Thanks for the support man, I appreciate the kind words and it helps to hear your story.

My current struggle is that I love my friends and would take a bullet for all of them, but I've been thinking about cutting them out of my life lately. All pretty heavy drinkers but really good guys, successful etc. Not sure what to do. Maybe be 100% honest with them about my drinking so they don't pressure me? Most activities we do involve drinking so I'm currently stuck and don't know to do. Would appreciate stories from anyone that went through the same.

First off, great job making it back. I failed quite a few times myself. The very last time almost 4 years ago was the worst. I had some time of sobriety under my belt, had been in AA, doing ok then started up again. Walking back through the doors into a meeting was one of the hardest days of my life. I still remember on the way out of that meeting an older member telling me to "get your head out of your azz" It made me laugh at the time, but also kept me back in the program.

I went through this with my friends as well. Best thing you can do is be straight up. If they are good bros they will support your decision. I still go out with the boys here and there, they drink, they don't pressure me and it's fine. I still have fun.
There are some friends that I don't see anymore though. These are the ones that the only thing we had in common was getting drunk all the time. Take that out of the equation and there was nothing left. Some of my friends were straight up drinking buddies, nothing less, nothing more.

Best of luck, and you may be surprised how little of a big deal it is to tell them you aren't drinking anymore

[latverian41]

Recovering alcohlic and narcotics addict here as well.

Count me in.

[SightSeeker]

I've been lurking this thread for years. Today is 8 days of no drinking. I have been telling myself I was going to cut back and it never went that way. It went the opposite. I wouldn't call it a binge but I was drinking about 4 drinks on weekdays then regular amount on the weekends probable between 7 and 10 beers for the last 4 months. I just got into a habit of really wanting a drink after work and when I started to tell myself every day I am going to stop the weekday drinking in the morning then get it anyway I knew I had a problem.

I saw a post in this thread about the naked mind and bought that awhile back but didn't open it until 2 weeks ago. I read half of it the week before and almost didn't drink the following weekend but gave in. After that weekend I brought the book with me to work and read it on my lunch breaks. So far so good and really haven't missed it. Truthfully haven't. It's strange the way that book rewired my thinking. Anyone looking for some inspiration and extra willpower I highly recommend it.

I can't say what the future holds but I feel great accomplishing this and really hope I continue. I feel like if I continue, a rock bottom is in my future. I don't want to see what that is.

[thomashenry]

By the Grace of God 31 Years Clean and Sober, no Mood or mind altering Substances, ................... Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

c) That God could and would if He were sought

[outacontrol]

I've been lurking this thread for years. Today is 8 days of no drinking.

8 days is a great accomplishment. I hope today is day #9.

[jessdeluxe]

Don't drink and the problem is solved

thanks for the encouraging words

[SightSeeker]

8 days is a great accomplishment. I hope today is day #9.

So far so good. Looking forward to not thinking about it as much. Still in that nervous stage that something will make me slip. I don't even know what that would be but thinking about not drinking this weekend again makes me nervous.

I feel great at least.

[BankWalker]

I've been lurking this thread for years. Today is 8 days of no drinking. I have been telling myself I was going to cut back and it never went that way. It went the opposite. I wouldn't call it a binge but I was drinking about 4 drinks on weekdays then regular amount on the weekends probable between 7 and 10 beers for the last 4 months. I just got into a habit of really wanting a drink after work and when I started to tell myself every day I am going to stop the weekday drinking in the morning then get it anyway I knew I had a problem.

I saw a post in this thread about the naked mind and bought that awhile back but didn't open it until 2 weeks ago. I read half of it the week before and almost didn't drink the following weekend but gave in. After that weekend I brought the book with me to work and read it on my lunch breaks. So far so good and really haven't missed it. Truthfully haven't. It's strange the way that book rewired my thinking. Anyone looking for some inspiration and extra willpower I highly recommend it.

I can't say what the future holds but I feel great accomplishing this and really hope I continue. I feel like if I continue, a rock bottom is in my future. I don't want to see what that is.

I cannot stress enough how much reading This Naked Mind changed my thinking. Ultimately I give God the credit, but the book was a huge part of my change of habits. I tried to stop off and on for 8 years. Now the poison is not a daily part of my life. I don't take the 12 step approach and take one day at a time. Now I can drink a few on occasion and put it down for weeks. It's no longer an issue. The only draw back to the random times that I do partake, it hinders my sleep cycle for a couple of days. Clearly some people can't partake a little... it's all or nothing for some. I highly recommend anyone that wants to quit or just drink less to read the book.

[SightSeeker]

I cannot stress enough how much reading This Naked Mind changed my thinking. Ultimately I give God the credit, but the book was a huge part of my change of habits. I tried to stop off and on for 8 years. Now the poison is not a daily part of my life. I don't take the 12 step approach and take one day at a time. Now I can drink a few on occasion and put it down for weeks. It's no longer an issue. The only draw back to the random times that I do partake, it hinders my sleep cycle for a couple of days. Clearly some people can't partake a little... it's all or nothing for some. I highly recommend anyone that wants to quit or just drink less to read the book.

How long have you been doing this? The book doesn't really condone any type of drinking from how I interpret it. She says that any drinking always leads back to where you were and then worse.

[BankWalker]

How long have you been doing this? The book doesn't really condone any type of drinking from how I interpret it. She says that any drinking always leads back to where you were and then worse.

I read the book and stopped the daily drinking in mid October last year. For over two months I had nothing at all. Then around the New Year holiday I drank moderately on a long weekend beach trip....then went home and carried on as I was ...with no alcohol at all. I felt no desire to keep on drinking.. but I did regret breaking my streak. Then I abstained another 8-10 weeks and drank moderately on a cruise in the middle of this month. After the cruise my sleep was messed up for a few days...but I went right back on the sober train. This is actually the life that I wanted back. I wanted to put down the nightly destructive habit.. yet go back to the way I was before I became dependent. I realize that some people cannot do this. If you're one of those people that fall off the wagon and binge hard ...I highly suggest that you remain abstinent.