Hey!!
It's been a long time since I've written in the boards and it's GREAT to be back.
I'm sure, if you've been here long enough, that you'd remember that I was writing a few books. I've actually just got done with a couple of programs and now I have some free time to spend helping you out.
Please don't pm me with any questions as that becomes a little time consuming to get back to.
So here are the simple rules I hope you can follow to make this experience exude even more value:
1- In the "title" of your post, write in the problem you're facing (friendzone, sex) etc. and then a few words to sum up the question.
2- Please post a question after you get done with telling me your story. I need to know exactly what you're looking for.
3- update me regularly on this post about your progress.. yes, I'd LOVE to hear from you!
4- If you find someone else's question helpful and the answer cleared something up for you, mention it because I'd really like to know the spectrum of value I'm providing.
So you might be wondering WHY I'm doing this... The Answer is pretty simple: I love to help people. If you've been on the boards long enough, you'll know I held free bootcamps, and helped many people on here before. It feels great to actually see someone grow and build a better life.
And YES you can ask about anything even if it doesn't relate to the main topics in the title.
Much love,
IMO
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10-17-2008, 08:25 AM #1
I can help: Friendzone, sex, on being a natural, relationships, ldr
------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 08:42 AM #2
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10-17-2008, 08:49 AM #3
Haha.
So posting a reply and checking back for an answer is less work? I've been in the game long enough to know when someone is serious about changing their lives.
How about you ask a question, I answer it, and you try it out. If it works, great. If it doesn't, well thats great too.------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 08:53 AM #4
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10-17-2008, 09:02 AM #5
WTF...I need to know if it's a female or male perspective I am getting here. That's a huge part of the answering process!
And yes, strangely enough it is. I click on the check mark and BAM, there's my answer. I gotta go to your page, let it load and then BAM, there's the answer. I am so lazy man/woman, help a brother out!ready to look like Omarion "http://allthatsfab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Omarion-e12.jpg"
"It's one thing to be a good person, it's another to be nice. You don't have to be nice, to be good."
- musclebound2007
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10-17-2008, 09:09 AM #6
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10-17-2008, 09:14 AM #7
A few tips
Sex:
If I had to pick one problem that a guy should fix that would greatly improve the chances of his woman having an intense orgasm, it would have to be ANTICIPATION.
The next time you're about to kiss her place a hand lightly on her cheek (barely touching) and move in slowly for the kiss. Just as your about to meet her lips move your thumb onto her chin and gently tilt her face to the side, tilt your face and move your lips over her jaw line.
Time it just right and plant these a few times and she'll moan with every kiss.
Relationships:
Have you ever been talking to someone and had this uneasy feeling that, even thought their eyes are on you, they aren't listening? A simple skill that many men lack is the art of being NOW. Be present. Most of us are busy thinking of a reponse or planning out a conversation in our minds when being talked to. Women are highly intuitive and can sense when someone isn't paying attention to them. Test out this theory. Go hang out with some girls and listen to them talk about their boyfriends. Hell, just ask them straight up. 8 times out of 10 they'll say "he doesn't pay attention to me."
Men can't figure it out when a girl says "you don't spend enough time with me" and they've been with her all day for weeks on end. It's not your physical presence that she's talking about... it's your mental attention!
So what can you do RIGHT now? Here's a simple exercise that'll help you BE now, BE present. Whenever anyone is talking to you, ask a clarifying question or make a clarifying statement. I'll give you a simple example:
She: I was at the store looking for these amazing shoes I saw on TV when Kait walks up with her new boy friend!!
You: Wait, which shoes?
She: *explains*
You: oh right... so Kait's got a new guy? Since when? Did you meet him or run for cover? [grin]
Don't ask a clarifying question that she's already told you about. If she mentioned that her friend has a boyfriend, then instead of a question, make a statment.
You: Oh right... Yeah I remember you telling me about her new guy... how longs it been? Did you meet him or run for cover? [grin]
Much love,
IMO------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 09:22 AM #8
I'm a man. What you're getting isn't a male or female perspective, it's knowledge that's been proved to work.
Of course it's not a one pill fix all routine. There is no magic bullet, no one line to solve everything.
If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results and so I invite you to try something different or hone on what you've been doing. A well trained comedian doesn't go on stage try new material and give up on it when it bombs. He tries it 10-20 times improving upon it until it hits every time.
You can check out my old posts to see how I've helped others before.
Much Love,------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 09:32 AM #9
Are you really 5'3" and 100lbs? =[
But seriously. If you are, then you and I can relate. I am 5'7". But before I continue, I need to know man. Seriously. Alright, got your sex down; gender also. Now stats.
I am asking this because for one, I have seen some sexy tall females, but never will I go after them. Approached and was talking to one, but damn the height was a major deal breaker, as people call it.
Is it limiting for me to keep myself only attracted to black females? I tried the others before, and the black females only recently became a preference, now they a damn obsession =[
So if you can assist me, in those aspects, then I will throw more out. I mean I have the answers, but I am testing you brotherready to look like Omarion "http://allthatsfab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Omarion-e12.jpg"
"It's one thing to be a good person, it's another to be nice. You don't have to be nice, to be good."
- musclebound2007
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10-17-2008, 09:36 AM #10
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10-17-2008, 09:37 AM #11
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10-17-2008, 09:40 AM #12
I've been on these forums since 03 and I don't recall you either... but you talk like a woman...
So you are either gay or lying about being a man.
EDIT: I take it back. I read some of your past posts, you seem to know your ****.
But you still give off a gay vibe. Maybe this helps you with women letting their guard down? I have a friend like that. He come's off gay, but gets any pussy he wants.Last edited by pondus_levo; 10-17-2008 at 09:50 AM.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131498033
You will never know your limits, unless you push yourself past the imaginary lines you have drawn in the sand.
Knee Dragger - '06 GSX-R750
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10-17-2008, 09:41 AM #13
Fair enough. I'm about 5'4 and I'm about 105lbs now. I've had a few major operations that have kept me out of the gym for a very long time but none of that has stopped me from being with some of the most amazing girls out there. Height, weight, nothing matters. Keep yourself well groomed and clean and your personality and skills can take you anywhere.
No that's not a limiting belief. That's just your preference. If you're doing it because of failure with other women before then you're boxing yourself in. Sounds like clear inner game issues and nothing else.------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 09:57 AM #14------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 10:00 AM #15
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10-17-2008, 10:03 AM #16------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 10:03 AM #17
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10-17-2008, 10:37 AM #18
From the email: A few questions:
The next day she asks to be my friend on ******** and left me a message saying "I hope you feel better".
>>>
That?s an IOI. (Indicator of Interest). This does not mean she wants to jump your bones but it?s a good sign she has interest in you. Some physical, unconscious, IOIs include: Touching her cheek with one finger when she?s talking to you. Moving her body towards you. Playing or tossing her hair etc. Did she give you any of these or any other IOIs? How often? Recollection all the times you met and count the IOIs you received through each meeting. List em for me.
<<<
That weekend was st patty's day and she asks me to come out with her and her friend
>>>
Win over the friend. In fact win over all her friends, guys and girls. Just don?t hit on them. Get along with them. This piece of advice is based on the assumption that you want a relationship with this girl and not a ONS.
<<<
After a few more drinks I decided to make a move ONLY because of what my friend told me.
>>>
Time to stop drinking. Drinking breeds bad game and throws us off calibration. While on the subject of calibration, we calibrate our moves, behaviors etc to cues we receive from her. (That?s why I asked about the IOIs). So how do we know when to go for the kiss or when to go for the hand holding? We calibrate based on her comfort and trust levels with us. Is this making sense? Let?s give an example: You ask her for her hand, does she give it to you or question you? If she gives it to you, is her palm faced up (she?s comfortable with you) or faced down (she?s not comfortable with you)? You put your hand on hers and squeeze and release. Does she squeeze back? See how it works?
<<<
while kissing she would pull off and wait for me to go in and she would pull off again in a teasing manner).
>>>
She?s leading the frame. You should be the one to pull off first and tease her. The next time she pulls off try something like this. Look at her comfortably and confidently. Think from a place of power. Say ?Oh playing hard to get? Here?s a free tip?? (pause and whisper. Let HER come to you to hear it) You?re supposed to play hard to get BEFORE we make out. (then smile)? The next time you start kissing, push her off lightly and say ?Okay punk, that?s all you get for now? Don?t wait for her to answer you back, just start talking about something else. Remember, The Man is non-reactive he is PRO-active. People react to him and it isn?t the other way around.
<<<------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 10:48 AM #19
From a previous post
Slim... what can I say? GREAT work. As always there's room for improvement but that's always workable.
Her: lol, i dont know, maybe
You: Maybe? I don't like flakiness... yes or no? what's the matter? are u THAT indecisive ?
or
You: u dont know? well THAT'S a first *eyes rolling at u* Well I DO know... and u ARE coming. I'm bored and want to do something.
or my personal favorite:
You: Nicccce... I like that...
Her: what?
You: playing hard to get... It's cute but sorry it's not working. U know u wanna come. Don't even argue.
When you said "oh come on..I never let you down...dont let me down" you sounded needy. As if u were begging her to do u a favor. A better way of putting it would be: "And after all I've done for u... U'd better not let me down young lady ." Be playful. Just don't overdo it.
Her: if i buy a new bathing suit by then i will
You: Stop trying to seduce me with sexy outfits. Just because u run around in a thong doesn't mean I'll ask u to marry me... I'm not THAT easy.
Her: so then buy me one and i will come
You: What do I look like? Another one of ur wussy friends that's in love with u that'll just buy u anything? If anything U should buy ME things . Come on.. u know u want to.
or
You: So I have to spend money to spend time with u? I didn't know u worked at 1 800 callgirls.
or
You: Buy u one? I'm not spending money to spend time with someone... unless its that hot whore by 28th street... man... i'd pay for that
What u said, "screw a "new" bathing suit..I know you wanna impress me everytime I see you but come on girl I dont care that much..", "**** that **** im not "paying" for you to come hang out with me", was just fine. I'd have turned up the humor in those tho. The key is to be the MAN.. but be funny. U've known her a while so it's cool but otherwise she'd think u were just plain stuck up.
"If you were suckin my cock I'd consider "buying you things"..but since your not giving me oral pleasures guess you dont get no bathing suit" <--- Nicccccceeee, "I'd consider" <---- perfect!
Her: i will pay you back, later on inthe after noon
(This is gold)
You: Deal... I get whatever I want.
Her: what do u want?
You: Dinner, a movie, a back massage for 3 days whenever I want it and u have to pay me the money back!
Her: That's too much!
You: U get to spend time with me... all these years/months I havent charged u! This bod isnt free ya know! Fine, fine.. no movie... just the dinner, a back massage 7 days whenever I want it, the money back, and lunch.------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-17-2008, 10:55 AM #20
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10-17-2008, 10:58 AM #21
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10-17-2008, 12:52 PM #22
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10-17-2008, 01:03 PM #23
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10-17-2008, 01:07 PM #24
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10-17-2008, 01:17 PM #25
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10-17-2008, 01:52 PM #26
Girl showed many IOI's freezed each other out now thinking of trying one more time...
Okay, this can get long but I figure you'd want the full scoop so you can help me best.
It starts like this, we meet each other through a mutual friend, somehow she already knows me acts very disinterested, I return the favour. A lot of guys try to get her attention and a lot of them have been trying to get with her. We end up hanging out that night with all of our friends. I don't pay any more attention to her as I do everyone else.
Couple more times we all hang out I notice her maintaining eye contact with me and will be watching me speak when I'm addressing other people. We'd lock eye contact sometimes and both simultaneously smile. I figured she likes me this is easier than I thought all I need to do is get her alone and make a move. We were at the beach and I got her alone we walked on the shore but for some reason I never made a move.
During all of this we would have random conversations over txt msg. She would just txt saying I wish I went with you to (wherever I was going when I left them). And I'd txt gnite or something like that. I found out thru some people that she really liked me.
At this time though I got caught up with a lot of things in my personal life and didn't end up talking to her for about a month. I ended up calling her out of the blue about a month ago and we talked real quick she started telling me how she was bored out of her mind now that we don't chill. So I continued and was like hey i'm gonna be in your area running errands tomorr... she interrupts me and is like yeah I'll come for sure. I'm like okay i'll call you at a specific time. I call her at that time no answer, call one more time no answer I let it go. Do my thing and forget about it. Then about 2 weeks ago I was hanging out with one of the mutual friends and she showed up with one of her friends it was at a food court so she just stopped by said hi. I was paying attention to her friend and talking to her (we got into a conversation) and then I focused my attention to her and was like how've you been what are you doing tonight. She told me she was busy going to a friends I was like cool.
So about an hour after that I call her up and i'm like hey me and my friend are still in the area and we're about to get a bite to eat in a little bit, want to come? She's like i don't know i'm at my friends blah blah, then she starts asking me waht i'm doing where i'm at. I was with some friends about to do some stupid **** and didn't really want to tell her, so i'm like chilling, she asks again more sternly wanting to know what i'm doing. At this point in my head i'm like wtf I dont even know if it matters enough to post but it was weird and I shot back quite sternly chilling. Watever we agree that I'll call her in about an hour and we'll see how things work out. Before I hang up she's like call me, make sure, i'm like ok make sure you pick up.
An hour or a half rolls by I call her, no answer... i'm like **** it.
I know, shoulda left it a long time ago. But about a week ago I was having a party and decided to call her to invite her. Called her once and she didn't pick up. Left it at that and I figured I will leave it at that
However I will point out that when things started going downhill (like when she stopped showing me as many IOI was when she saw me talking to another girl that liked me and I got her contact info infront of her. I saw her face and she looked a little hurt...
I'm just posting everything that I think is relevant. At this point I'm meeting new girls and I've really forgotten about her and don't let it bother me, but I still feel like there's a chance for things to work out and I want to see if I can actually pull myself out of this and get her... the challenge is what's pushing me...
So sorry for long post bro, but let me know... haha. So you know with this girl I'd be looking to pursue a relationship with, not a ONS.Last edited by collector; 10-17-2008 at 02:01 PM.
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10-17-2008, 02:52 PM #27
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10-18-2008, 12:47 AM #28------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-18-2008, 01:28 AM #29
She probably expects you to be like every other guy out there and chase after her or FAKE disinterest.
The key is to be authentic. Occupy yourself with your friends and other things. Women are far more intuitive than men and she can definitely smell any fake disinterest coming from you. So right now, write down 5 things you want to learn about, spend about an hour and a half each day researching the subjects and the next time you're with your friends and she's around, make it a point to teach everyone else what you've learned.
This will do two things:
1- you will display active disinterest
2- you will hit the 3rd attraction switch: the leader of men
3- you will hit the 6th attraction switch: Passion (if you love what you're teaching)
Wait! I should come over there and bitch slap you! You don't need to get her alone to engage her. In fact it's easier to engage her and build attraction when there's a group.
1 - You can engage the group and amp up the buying temperature in the Ecyle (emotional cycle of highs and lows) by telling a DHV (demonstration of higher value) story and then running a DHV routine. (I'll teach you one in a second).
2 - While engaging the group don't ignore her but don't address her directly either. Do take aways, calibrated roll offs, one or two negs (unless shes an 8 or below).
3 - Move into isolation. Look at her and say "You're kinda.. cool. I'm intrigued." Look back at the group [credit Mystery] and say "Hey guys, I've been ignoring your friend here so I'm going to steal her for a second. We'll be right over there come on and join us in a few" Now test her. Turn to her and ask something arbitrary and fun. "Are you creative?" She answers yes then say "nice, okay gimme your arm. No funny business now.." and take her arm in yours. If she says no. Say "too bad.. I thought I could teach you something awesome [the creative test... a great qualifier/DHV] still..." hold your arm out and let her take it in. Calibrate the IOI with and IOD/IODR. (the IOI being sticking your arm out and the IODR could be saying "good girl")
Advanced TIP (don't worry if you're not at this level yet): 4: To super blast you're relative value, you can open another set (a set is a group of people) with her and continue to DHV. Then Backwards merge (bringing a new set to meet an older set) both sets creating an Obstacle controller (a preemptive obstacle distract when you lack a wing).
Looks like this is headed for damage control status.
IOI (indicator of interest)... You should IOIr (reward her with an IOI) and then calibrate with a take away or and IOD (indicator of disinterest).
Good call! Next time, call once only. If you leave a voice message NEVER, EVER mention that message again. It's a psychological trigger.. that well... it would take a while to explain.
Bad move. Never engage a woman with the boring old talk "how are you" coupled with the All American Smile.
She's **** testing you. It's obvious you waited too long and now your relative value has significantly dropped.
Okay, time for damage control. Before I go into it, do you know where she lives? How often have you been to her place? Do any of your friends go to her place?
For right now, call her: if she answers: Tell her a quick DHV story that's an E-cycle. Then ask her "so miss trouble maker what trouble have you been getting your self into?" and before she gets 2 seconds into her answer say whoa, I'm late.. sorry gotta go! Time flies when your having fun! I'll talk to you later bye!"
If she doesn't answer: leave a voice mail saying "OMG You'll never believe what my mom just told me!" then hang up. When she calls back, say "she just told me I was adopted! haha. No okay she didnt... my dad did haha. so check this out, {DHV story and follow on from the previous answer}
Good Luck------------ worth checking out ----------------
***Breaking out of the Friendship zone, Sex, LDRs, LTRs:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111328941
***Original Breaking out of the Friendship zone:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=286585
***Validating the inner wuss:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=325853 (Update coming soon)
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10-18-2008, 01:38 AM #30
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