What does being a good wife mean to you?

[tyranire]

Another good quality of a wife...don't think I can read your mind!

[*dwest*]

I am a 36 yr old housewife/mother of 4. I am very lucky to stay home and cater to my husband and 4 children ages from 10 months, 6 yrs, 11 yrs and 13 yrs. My husband Chris, who works and supports our house is also a body builder. I prepare his foods, through out the day, do the house work and take care of our children full time. i drive our children to school, sports and any other activities. I can say, I am very proud and would say IM very lucky that I can do this. I also am proud of my husband. He does a great job to support me and our family.

I'm a good wife because I take care of my husband. I cook, clean the house, wash clothes. I also take interest in the same things that he does. We watch sports together, go hunting, and basically like the same things.

1. Being a great mom
2. Enjoying sports as much as my man! (we watch together all the time!!)
3. Always joking around and making him laugh
4. Being his biggest support and best friend
5. I treat him with respect always
6. Never turn down sex and always swallow
7. Greatful to him for constantly supporting my bb and competing for so many years.
8. I cook for him when I can and he appreciates it. We both work full time so we split all household chores and anything to do with our kids.
9. Handle all the finances and bills...because my husband hates that stuff.
10. Let him come and go as he pleases...but he's the same way. (We figure we're both grown ups and don't need to ask each other permission to do anything.)

One very important rule for a wife. Focus on the good things your husband does instead of the dwelling on the bad. This is an easy rule for wives to follow in the first couple years of marriage but when children come along and the marriage extends into decades, some wives tend to notice her husband's faults a little more. Ladies, although we may not always be the romantics, it doesn't hurt to let your husband know how special he is to you.

Great responses ladies your husbands are lucky men.

[*dwest*]

Why is it scary? Because other people's beliefs differ from yours?

I believe they call that bigotry. Isn't that what liberals are always crusading against? Oh wait, that's right, most of you are hypocrites.

Thanks my man, I'm from the deep south and southern women can't be beat.

Uhhhh...ya..I would! I like a man who "takes control"..sorry, its just my nature. TBH, I'm not married, but as a single woman, I'm truly tired of meeting men used to rigid woman who use sex like a carrot to a rabbit. You make vows to love, honor, trust and obey...well...does anyone actually listen to what they say at that alter? If your man likes a home cooked meal...a backrub, a good bl*wjob or other forms of sexual communication when he comes home from a hard days work...I don't see what's so "stereotypical" about giving it to him...it's not like your not having fun too...or is it? If his sex is good to you...I really can't comprehend "I don't FEEL like it" unless the sex is mediocre or lousy! That's like sayin..."I don't feel like having $100 million dollars"...wut???

Bambi we may disagree on a lot but this is definitely quoteworthy.

[TheOnlyInvictus]

things a good wife should do:
able to wrestle and play and laugh
able to trust
have dinner on table when hubby gets home (i enjoy doing this)
compromise on things he likes ( action movies ) and vise versa
Let hubby feel in control and feel like the protector
keep in good shape for hubby
pray for her husband
being a good mommy
communication

not do:
not be jealous or naggy
let self go
have the last word (although i do this.. he hates this!)hehe

where have u been all my life!

[tyranire]

Thanks my man, I'm from the deep south and southern women can't be beat.

Amen...

[HARRYBEAST]

Why do people always think its bad to have a stay at home mom? I mean what if that is what your wife wants to do? Is it wrong for her to want to devote her full attention to raising your children and taking care of the house?

[tyranire]

Why do people always think its bad to have a stay at home mom? I mean what if that is what your wife wants to do? Is it wrong for her to want to devote her full attention to raising your children and taking care of the house?

I think it's important to let your wife/significant other do what they want. As long as you're both happy and taken care of, nothing else matters.

My g/f stays at home and enjoys being a domestic engineer

[*dwest*]

Why do people always think its bad to have a stay at home mom? I mean what if that is what your wife wants to do? Is it wrong for her to want to devote her full attention to raising your children and taking care of the house?

I think it's a great thing, the children are happy and well taken care of also things are less stressful around the house because there is more time to take care of personal business.

If this is what a woman wants to do I think it's to be admired. Of course if they want a career that's great too. In today's economy it's a luxury for someone to be able to it though.

[HARRYBEAST]

I think it's important to let your wife/significant other do what they want. As long as you're both happy and taken care of, nothing else matters.

My g/f stays at home and enjoys being a domestic engineer

Same here my wife loves taking care of the baby and constantly thanks me for supporting us enough that she can stay home. That being said I would gladly switch with her if she wanted to.

[tyranire]

I think it's a great thing, the children are happy and well taken care of also things are less stressful around the house because there is more time to take care of personal business.

If this is what a woman wants to do I think it's to be admired. Of course if they want a career that's great too. In today's economy it's a luxury for someone to be able to it though.

Our lives are definitely less stressful. She doesn't handle stress very well, so she opts to not work and forego that stress to take on other creative pursuits.

Economically, we can't do as much as families with both parties working, but we do alright for ourselves and don't go without. (no kids)

[Txagentorange]

i love all of these responses, the south rocks, thank god im texan

one i haven't seen though, i really need someone that can say something funny or laugh when things get really tense. When the **** hits the fan, i always take a step back and say something funny or do something goofy, because that's just how i am. Too many girls i've been around get mad when i do this, like they want to PRESERVE their bad mood, so i need a girl that can understand that just because im trying to lighten to mood doesn't mean im mocking her...

yep

[martina92685]

i love all of these responses, the south rocks, thank god im texan

one i haven't seen though, i really need someone that can say something funny or laugh when things get really tense. When the **** hits the fan, i always take a step back and say something funny or do something goofy, because that's just how i am. Too many girls i've been around get mad when i do this, like they want to PRESERVE their bad mood, so i need a girl that can understand that just because im trying to lighten to mood doesn't mean im mocking her...

yep

Whoop! TEXAS! I loooooove texas guys.

(I'm from Houston, and just taking a little break in New York - but I'll be back!)

[trace1P167]

x 9999.
-the ability to compromise BUT NEVER to be "submissive" or simply agree with me because of gender- that's just ridiculously outdated.

i am not sure if this is in response to my post because I am the only one that has used the word "submissive" and would like to explain why I said that.

being submissive to someone isn't something from the old ages by any means, it's about giving one self to the other through love and devotion. both partners respect eachother not based on gender or because he is the man and I have to do what he says....NEVER gonna happen. i'll never just agree with him just because he is the man, i would expect a very deep conversation based on both opinions and valued equally as such but in the end if there is no compromise or final agreement, he makes the decision. being married isnt about roles or your the man and im the woman, it's about supporting, loving and taking care of the person which comes with trust and respect on both sides.

[erinlee01]

x 9999.

Absolutely. America is scary, the South is scarier still.

Especially the never withholding sex ones. Not too far away from the days when marriage was considered consent (which led to a LOT of rapists getting away with it).

Quite glad I live in a less conservative country. Obviously everyone has the right to live how they like- but it's quite confronting seeing women posting here putting themselves in positions that I would consider almost degrading.

If I ever got married I would want a person who possessed

-their own independent interests, desires and passions, and a willingness to work for them
-their own CAREER and goals, dreams etc. OUTSIDE of laundry, kids, cooking and cleaning.
-the ability to compromise BUT NEVER to be "submissive" or simply agree with me because of gender- that's just ridiculously outdated.
-sexual attraction and experimentation, but always choice, respect and compassion from both sides
-in decent shape- not so much just for aesthetic reasons, but more for quality of life, longevity.

If I was with someone for life, they would need to have the self-confidence and the self-respect to stand up for what they believed in, regardless of what I thought. I'd damn well hope they would WANT to have a lot of sex- but that would always, always be their choice.

And If I couldn't handle that, I wouldn't deserve to be with them.

This is more in line with what I was trying to say. I don't find it necessary to give up my identity to make someone happy, nor would I want to be with someone who wanted me to be different than who I was before marriage. And I mean whatever that may be. Women can choose to do different things (stay at home vs. work, clean vs. hire a maid). As long as it is their choice and it makes them happy, that is what counts.

Sorry for getting off-topic:

I believe marriage is consent. That whole two becoming one flesh thing. You are promising yourself to your spouse, and sex is a privilege of marriage. In most religions to my knowledge, it isn't only a privilege, but a right - I know in Judaism and Islam, not being satisfied gives the woman grounds for divorce.

Besides, what's the point of withholding sex? Childish punishment for people who can't speak with each other long enough to reach an agreement?

Just because you are married doesn't mean you need to have sex whenever the other person feels like it. As for withholding, depends on your definition of withholding. Are there times when I will not have sex? Yes. Is it withholding? No. It's when I am upset or angry with my spouse and I don't feel the emotional connection. I don't consider that withholding.

what makes a good wife?

how about:

being yourself.

having sex when you feel like it, because if the man is sexy he'll get it often enough, and if you don't really feel like it he'll never know how to please you.

being truthful about when you are hurt or angry because putting on a smiling face while harboring resentment will make marriage like a prison, and one day you will explode in his face.

saying something funny when the **** hits the fan

taking care of yourself and not taking the other for granted

being a helping hand, 50/50, whether with housework or work or parenting or whatever.

make him feel wanted.. sexually and as a friend.. but not when he's being a dickhead.. just in general...

being a partner in crime, finding interesting things that you both enjoy, making yourself attractive and someone he is proud to be seen with, not taking advantage of him even if he is a kind and generous person.

... and every single "rule" I listed goes for the man, too.

Agreed!

Why do people always think its bad to have a stay at home mom? I mean what if that is what your wife wants to do? Is it wrong for her to want to devote her full attention to raising your children and taking care of the house?

I don't think most people see it as bad. I think it is more of a reaction to the bad image women who work get. I have been told by many people that I am not doing the right thing by working and not staying home with my kids. Well, I don't want to. I would be absolutely miserable doing that. I enjoy my job and I do more for my kids than a lot of women I know who do stay at home. It wouldn't be fair to my kids to be unhappy around them all the time. People need to stop assuming that there is a one size fits all for wives and mothers.

[guest89]

x 9999.
Absolutely. America is scary, the South is scarier still.

Especially the never withholding sex ones. Not too far away from the days when marriage was considered consent (which led to a LOT of rapists getting away with it).

The people saying never withhold sex probably don't mean 2-3 times a day 30, 7 days a week.


They say that because some women will use sex no differently from a hooker. The 'husband' has to 'buy' his sex with things for the wife. Diamonds, jewelry, ect. (Basically becoming a b1tch so he can be 'rewarded with sex'.)

I can understand you want an independent woman, but do you want a woman who bangs you up the ass with a strapon? Or who only lets you have sex if you buy her something or something along those lines?


Also often partner A) will refuse sex for awhile, causing partner B) to get their sexual desires filled elsewhere. Honestly, if your wife makes you go months without sex or a BJ or anything, and one day you meet an amazing women who's single, up for sex anytime, and holds all the other qualities you hold dear, are you saying you aren't going to cheat/potentially leave your wife for her?


I don't think couples HAVE to have sex all the time, every day, but the ones that withhold sex from each other are more likely to eventually quit having sex, have relationship problems, and potentially end up splitting because they've found someone else who can satisfy them sexually. And people do need to have sex, its one of our basic instincts, the same as eating.

Its kind of arrogant to think your beliefs are whats right, and everyone else's are wrong.

[erinlee01]

The people saying never withhold sex probably don't mean 2-3 times a day 30, 7 days a week.


They say that because some women will use sex no differently from a hooker. The 'husband' has to 'buy' his sex with things for the wife. Diamonds, jewelry, ect. (Basically becoming a b1tch so he can be 'rewarded with sex'.)

I can understand you want an independent woman, but do you want a woman who bangs you up the ass with a strapon? Or who only lets you have sex if you buy her something or something along those lines?


Also often partner A) will refuse sex for awhile, causing partner B) to get their sexual desires filled elsewhere. Honestly, if your wife makes you go months without sex or a BJ or anything, and one day you meet an amazing women who's single, up for sex anytime, and holds all the other qualities you hold dear, are you saying you aren't going to cheat/potentially leave your wife for her?


I don't think couples HAVE to have sex all the time, every day, but the ones that withhold sex from each other are more likely to eventually quit having sex, have relationship problems, and potentially end up splitting because they've found someone else who can satisfy them sexually. And people do need to have sex, its one of our basic instincts, the same as eating.

Its kind of arrogant to think your beliefs are whats right, and everyone else's are wrong.

Personally, I think you have the bolded part backwards. IMO, if a couple isn't having sex, it's because there are problems in the relationship. The relationship doesn't start having problems because they stop having sex. Nor is the cheating the result of not having sex. It is the result of the lack of a solid relationship.

[tyranire]

Personally, I think you have the bolded part backwards. IMO, if a couple isn't having sex, it's because there are problems in the relationship. The relationship doesn't start having problems because they stop having sex. Nor is the cheating the result of not having sex. It is the result of the lack of a solid relationship.

I think this is the heart of it (unless as mentioned above the woman uses sex as bait to get things).

[erinlee01]

I think this is the heart of it (unless as mentioned above the woman uses sex as bait to get things).

Yeah, but even that is a problem in the relationship.

[user18799886210]

using sex as bait...

In the immortal words of Bill withers...


"Oh you just keep on using me until you use me up."

[tryn2getstrong]

Yeah, but even that is a problem in the relationship.

Sometimes you're right, sometimes she's just a bitch, and sometimes he's just an ahole.

[bambifox]

I AGREE with everything you've said here. Excellent post! BTW, angry sex has been some of the BEST sex I've had EVER! I'm sure there's at least a few here that will agree on that one!

You have no idea how many married men come at me..sayin "donno what happened...we used to do it all the time...now all she does is b*tch and complain...and give me sex when SHE feels I'm good"! Sex IS part of your obligation in a marriage....if you don't GIVE IT UP...someone else WILL and you are so right...He/She WILL eventually get it somewhere else and you'll have yourself to blame for that. If your man aint doin right or pissing you off...try WITHHOLDING conversation...STFU a little more...and LISTEN...perhaps you'll get more out of him!

The people saying never withhold sex probably don't mean 2-3 times a day 30, 7 days a week.


They say that because some women will use sex no differently from a hooker. The 'husband' has to 'buy' his sex with things for the wife. Diamonds, jewelry, ect. (Basically becoming a b1tch so he can be 'rewarded with sex'.)

I can understand you want an independent woman, but do you want a woman who bangs you up the ass with a strapon? Or who only lets you have sex if you buy her something or something along those lines?


Also often partner A) will refuse sex for awhile, causing partner B) to get their sexual desires filled elsewhere. Honestly, if your wife makes you go months without sex or a BJ or anything, and one day you meet an amazing women who's single, up for sex anytime, and holds all the other qualities you hold dear, are you saying you aren't going to cheat/potentially leave your wife for her?


I don't think couples HAVE to have sex all the time, every day, but the ones that withhold sex from each other are more likely to eventually quit having sex, have relationship problems, and potentially end up splitting because they've found someone else who can satisfy them sexually. And people do need to have sex, its one of our basic instincts, the same as eating.

Its kind of arrogant to think your beliefs are whats right, and everyone else's are wrong.

[lilly_julia]

using sex as bait...

In the immortal words of Bill withers...


"Oh you just keep on using me until you use me up."

Ha ha.. I love that song.

Yes.. "withholding sex" is often a tactic to get what you want from someone, which is cruel, and it is understandable why someone would look elsewhere for their needs if that was the case... but "just not feeling like it".. like after you've worked all day and just want some sleep.. is absolutely justifiable!... just because you want sex constantly now doesn't mean you will for the rest of your life.. people's sexual appetites change as they move through different stages.

Of course, being a maid and a cook suits some women just fine, and that's their choice.. and some men love being used and led on by their woman.. its all a matter of personal taste and compatibility.

[lilly_julia]

[QUOTE=bambifox;220787851]I love you....that is all.



Uhhhh...ya..I would! I like a man who "takes control"..sorry, its just my nature. TBH, I'm not married, but as a single woman, I'm truly tired of meeting men used to rigid woman who use sex like a carrot to a rabbit. You make vows to love, honor, trust and obey...well...does anyone actually listen to what they say at that alter? If your man likes a home cooked meal...a backrub, a good bl*wjob or other forms of sexual communication when he comes home from a hard days work...I don't see what's so "stereotypical" about giving it to him...it's not like your not having fun too...or is it? If his sex is good to you...I really can't comprehend "I don't FEEL like it" unless the sex is mediocre or lousy! That's like sayin..."I don't feel like having $100 million dollars"...wut???


I was saying that to a man. You obviously love, love, love sex all the time..and if you asked me in my early twenties I would have said the same thing.. but my body changed and 3 or 4 times a week is plenty for me now. I can't help it. If that's how you like to live, then fine.. but I come home from a hard day's work just as often as he does.. and I have to go to bed on time so I can do it again the next day... I am fulfilled sexually but I also need to be mentally and creatively.

[cawagner01]

Why do people always think its bad to have a stay at home mom? I mean what if that is what your wife wants to do? Is it wrong for her to want to devote her full attention to raising your children and taking care of the house?

Nothing wrong with that at all. Did someone say their was? I may have missed that post. It is a joint decision a husband and wife need to make. My wife works part time (25 hours a week / 3 days a week / Mon, Tue, Wed). We wanted some extra income but at the same time, my wife can devote some extra time to our children.

[tryn2getstrong]

Nothing wrong with that at all. Did someone say their was? I may have missed that post. It is a joint decision a husband and wife need to make. My wife works part time (25 hours a week / 3 days a week / Mon, Tue, Wed). We wanted some extra income but at the same time, my wife can devote some extra time to our children.

My wife does the same, the best part is that she works with the kids. That way she doesn't feel guilty about working.

[HARRYBEAST]

This is more in line with what I was trying to say. I don't find it necessary to give up my identity to make someone happy, nor would I want to be with someone who wanted me to be different than who I was before marriage. And I mean whatever that may be. Women can choose to do different things (stay at home vs. work, clean vs. hire a maid). As long as it is their choice and it makes them happy, that is what counts.



Just because you are married doesn't mean you need to have sex whenever the other person feels like it. As for withholding, depends on your definition of withholding. Are there times when I will not have sex? Yes. Is it withholding? No. It's when I am upset or angry with my spouse and I don't feel the emotional connection. I don't consider that withholding.



Agreed!



I don't think most people see it as bad. I think it is more of a reaction to the bad image women who work get. I have been told by many people that I am not doing the right thing by working and not staying home with my kids. Well, I don't want to. I would be absolutely miserable doing that. I enjoy my job and I do more for my kids than a lot of women I know who do stay at home. It wouldn't be fair to my kids to be unhappy around them all the time. People need to stop assuming that there is a one size fits all for wives and mothers.

Nothing wrong with that at all. Did someone say their was? I may have missed that post. It is a joint decision a husband and wife need to make. My wife works part time (25 hours a week / 3 days a week / Mon, Tue, Wed). We wanted some extra income but at the same time, my wife can devote some extra time to our children.

My wife works part-time as a fitness instructor and also does some free lance painting as well. As such she has a very flexible schedule. I was just saying that some women are happy at home and it doesn't make them submissive or mean that they feel forced into that role. Some feminist think this is a weakness and its really just a choice.

[phoebusapollo]

Its kind of arrogant to think your beliefs are whats right, and everyone else's are wrong.

Quote me where I said anything LIKE this. I said people can live however they want. I said that I find some ways of doing that personally distasteful. I said that's not what I'd want in a wife.

Don't assume that because I disagree with you that I reject your right to lvie your life the way you want.

[user18799886210]

I could really use a sandwich? Any takers?

[martina92685]

I can totally have to avoid having to worry about being a good wife by never getting married.


I might change my mind later when I find the right guy. Maybe?

[erinlee01]

My wife works part-time as a fitness instructor and also does some free lance painting as well. As such she has a very flexible schedule. I was just saying that some women are happy at home and it doesn't make them submissive or mean that they feel forced into that role. Some feminist think this is a weakness and its really just a choice.

You're right, some people do think that. Different things make different people happy. As long as you recognize what it is that makes you happy, that's all that counts. I was just illustrating that opposite standpoint as it is what I have experienced. There is a lot of judgement in the world. If everyone was alike, it would be boring.