Marriage is pointless....

[Pnigro]

WOW STRONG DISCUSSION GOING ON HERE!!!

I have the final answer

Marriage can be good and bad, it depends of the personality and intentions of the persons getting married.

Having a family and kids is nice.

But there are some types of people that prefer to be FREE. The OP for example.

I think it's stupid to be an employee. Most people disagree with me. There's a million ways to see the things in life.

I don't understand why you guys are arguing so much.

I do think getting married young is pointless.

[igetSWOLL]

not so much an argument, but an impassioned discussion.

besides, a little fire gets more out of everyone.

[girlygirl]

Hahaha, now this is getting ridiculous. Of course your life is in your own hands, and of course you control your own odds.

BUT YOU CAN'T DENY FACT!!! You just can't! If its fact, and a statistic, you can't say "I don't believe in it." It's real! It's been proven!

what are you getting all excited about?

i'm not arguing statistics. what i'm saying is, people's attitudes and behaviors cause the statistics, not the other way around. i'm not arguing that most marriages fail or that most people shouldn't get married. what i'm saying is, people should stop whining about how things are doomed because statistics say so. statistics are a representation of what PEOPLE are doing. PEOPLE are responsible, not "statistics."

and i didn't feel like nitpicking about this before, because i know what you're trying to say, but since you're screaming in all caps, statistics aren't facts. by definition. statistics are a numerical description, a generalization of certain facts.

[Herbalizer]

It only takes meeting someone absolutely amazing to change your whole mind on the marriage thing. Marriage will inevitably be the natural next step. You will want to get married.
I've never met anyone I've wanted to marry yet, so I'm on the fence about marriage (although I do so badly want a commited long term relationship) but I do know when I do meet someone incredible I will have immense faith in the whole marriage thing and see it's value and want to do it! I know this. Who knows if I'll ever meet someone who brings that out in me though.

I agree with you. I felt the same way about getting married like alot of you do. Until I met my wife. I wasn't even thinking about meeting some one at the time, it was the last thing on my mind. I went out to meet some friends and ended up talking to her the whole night and then some. Anyway we just clicked and the rest is history.

I really thought alot like Juice1348. You just never know what life is going to throw at you. I really couldn't be happier.

[Qijofeuih]

I declare this thread a failure. Nothing in this thread has been read however I shall give you the ultimate knowledge that you seek! You do not need a ring to be in love with someone and spend your life with them.



/ THREAD

[igetSWOLL]

is that gaston?

[Ellimist]

what are you getting all excited about?

i'm not arguing statistics. what i'm saying is, people's attitudes and behaviors cause the statistics, not the other way around. i'm not arguing that most marriages fail or that most people shouldn't get married. what i'm saying is, people should stop whining about how things are doomed because statistics say so. statistics are a representation of what PEOPLE are doing. PEOPLE are responsible, not "statistics."

and i didn't feel like nitpicking about this before, because i know what you're trying to say, but since you're screaming in all caps, statistics aren't facts. by definition. statistics are a numerical description, a generalization of certain facts.

The problem is, people are not believing those statistics enough. If somebody says "you have a 50% chance of failure", wouldn't you want to wait a couple more years until those numbers were more solid? If you're so in love, whats waiting 2 years going to do? You're already 'destined' to spend the rest of your life with them, right?

Oh, and by your definition: "statstics aren't facts....but they are facts." You sound like a definition from Webster's.

[Qijofeuih]

is that gaston?

[Ibanez]

I hate the stupid, natural = right ****. Naturalistic fallacy.

[girlygirl]

The problem is, people are not believing those statistics enough. If somebody says "you have a 50% chance of failure", wouldn't you want to wait a couple more years until those numbers were more solid? If you're so in love, whats waiting 2 years going to do? You're already 'destined' to spend the rest of your life with them, right?

i agree that people are getting married too young. i agree people shouldn't get married if they don't want to. if you don't want to get married, just don't.

it's a "fact" that 85% of heroin addicts were breastfed--what i'm saying is that statistics are one way of using facts to paint a picture. the odds of any particular marriage surviving or failing have little or nothing to do with "statistics". young people's marriages aren't failing because 50% of other young people's marriages fail. they're failing because people are immature, getting married for the wrong reasons, etc. etc. the statistics show us that, but they don't have any bearing on any individual's success.

statistics show us things and encourage us to look further at an issue. if 50% of marriages fail, what the statistics should encourage one to do is look at WHY, if one does want to get married.

when i joined the air force, i took a test to become a linguist. the failure rate of that test is extremely high. my recruiter told me not to bother because i had an XX% chance of failing the test. i passed in the top 5%. i never had an XX% chance of failing, because it wasn't an outcome based on odds, but ability. the same is true of marriage. people are marrying when they haven't got the personal resources, drive, desire, or ability to succeed, therefore they fail. i don't believe people are "destined" to get married, i think that's part of the problem--people think love is "destiny." we agree completely on that point.

[niospecv]

www.nomarriage.com

I feel like this to an extent but I don't think getting married is needed to validate my love for a woman. A marriage license is basically a binding contract under the laws of whatever state you live in. That really states nothing about your love for one another. More and more people are having celebration where two people come together and celebrate their love and thats it. That is the "marriage." No need to get the law involved unless the man or woman has an ulterior motive. I'm 29 turning 30 this summer and I don't feel the need to settle down yet. If I do the whole marriage thing is still a tough one for me to swallow.

What security is there for men in marriage?
If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my ****.
If she cheats on me, she still gets half my ****.
Why the **** should i get married?

Both my older sisters are not completely happy with their marriage I definitely notice everything. I am aware. lulz

[igetSWOLL]

and you, sir, know your stuff.

[igetSWOLL]

so true:

What security is there for men in marriage?
If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my ****.
If she cheats on me, she still gets half my ****.
Why the fsck should i get married?

[luckyshark]

marriages don't fail because of statistics. marriages fail because most of the people getting married shouldn't be marrying one another, have ridiculous notions about what marriage is, and don't have the strength of character to make it work.

i think it's absolutely fine not to get married. but i think it's silly to say "odds are against you". this isn't a game of chance. you control your own odds.

there's a HUGE misconception in this society that if you love someone and want to live together, you should get married, and that love will make it work.

much more than love or attraction has to be involved; you have to have complementary goals in life; you have to be better together than you were apart. sometimes the sum is greater than the parts.

i agree that people are getting married too young. i agree people shouldn't get married if they don't want to. if you don't want to get married, just don't.

it's a "fact" that 85% of heroin addicts were breastfed--what i'm saying is that statistics are one way of using facts to paint a picture. the odds of any particular marriage surviving or failing have little or nothing to do with "statistics". young people's marriages aren't failing because 50% of other young people's marriages fail. they're failing because people are immature, getting married for the wrong reasons, etc. etc. the statistics show us that, but they don't have any bearing on any individual's success.

statistics show us things and encourage us to look further at an issue. if 50% of marriages fail, what the statistics should encourage one to do is look at WHY, if one does want to get married.

when i joined the air force, i took a test to become a linguist. the failure rate of that test is extremely high. my recruiter told me not to bother because i had an XX% chance of failing the test. i passed in the top 5%. i never had an XX% chance of failing, because it wasn't an outcome based on odds, but ability. the same is true of marriage. people are marrying when they haven't got the personal resources, drive, desire, or ability to succeed, therefore they fail. i don't believe people are "destined" to get married, i think that's part of the problem--people think love is "destiny." we agree completely on that point.

It's posts like these that make me wish I could rep you again!

Some people get married too young. Some people get married too soon. Some people simply cannot function within a committed relationship. Some people...are just idiots. The point is, it's the individuals in a particular marriage that determine whether they make it or not. Are they compatible? Do they both really want it equally as badly so they're both willing to work for it? These things can't usually be determined quickly. Hence, some people jump in too soon.

But ultimately, the point is that it's the combination of who you and your spouse are that makes a marriage work and determines whether each of you will stay faithful and do all it takes to reap the rewards of a long and happy life together.

[WizardGlick]

If I may say something here, the second you start applying logic or math to love you're going to lose.
The second you start caring for something more than the person you're with (i.e. money, possessions), you're dooming any relationship you have with that person.

Love isn't logic (I know, I'm sounding really sappy but just hear me out), love is an emotion. It's like faith in God. There's really no scientific proof that there's a God but still there are millions who believe. Is that logical?
There's really no logical reason to marry someone, have children, be constantly borderline broke (maybe), yet continue to stay in the marriage. It's emotional, maybe even chemical, but it's certainly not logical.

You people are, for the most part, young. And obviously you haven't met someone who'll change your minds on this subject. You might never. That's just life. All I'm saying is keep an open mind and stop trying to apply logic to something that isn't logical. But just because it's illogical doesn't mean it's wrong. Or doomed to fail.

I will say this, there will probably come a time when reason will jump out of your mind and you'll find yourself not being able to think of a life without that person. Then all the scientific data on primitive urges and the inability of the male to stay with only one person will sound like bull****. I speak from experience and I'd like to think I'm not so unique.

[girlygirl]

It's posts like these that make me wish I could rep you again!

Some people get married too young. Some people get married too soon. Some people simply cannot function within a committed relationship. Some people...are just idiots. The point is, it's the individuals in a particular marriage that determine whether they make it or not. Are they compatible? Do they both really want it equally as badly so they're both willing to work for it? These things can't usually be determined quickly. Hence, some people jump in too soon.

But ultimately, the point is that it's the combination of who you and your spouse are that makes a marriage work and determines whether each of you will stay faithful and do all it takes to reap the rewards of a long and happy life together.

lately RH has seemed so full of freakin psychos & about-to-become-serial killers i haven't wanted to post much... kinda scary.

(not this thread, for the most part, so please don't jump on me saying i think people who don't want to get married are serial killers, haha.)

[LovesMuscles]

i agree that people are getting married too young. i agree people shouldn't get married if they don't want to. if you don't want to get married, just don't.

it's a "fact" that 85% of heroin addicts were breastfed--what i'm saying is that statistics are one way of using facts to paint a picture. the odds of any particular marriage surviving or failing have little or nothing to do with "statistics". young people's marriages aren't failing because 50% of other young people's marriages fail. they're failing because people are immature, getting married for the wrong reasons, etc. etc. the statistics show us that, but they don't have any bearing on any individual's success.

statistics show us things and encourage us to look further at an issue. if 50% of marriages fail, what the statistics should encourage one to do is look at WHY, if one does want to get married.

when i joined the air force, i took a test to become a linguist. the failure rate of that test is extremely high. my recruiter told me not to bother because i had an XX% chance of failing the test. i passed in the top 5%. i never had an XX% chance of failing, because it wasn't an outcome based on odds, but ability. the same is true of marriage. people are marrying when they haven't got the personal resources, drive, desire, or ability to succeed, therefore they fail. i don't believe people are "destined" to get married, i think that's part of the problem--people think love is "destiny." we agree completely on that point.

EXACTLY.

People need to be a little more selective or just be a little smarter/analytical/cautious/practical, etc.

Just read those other two threads of the guy who got married solely for health benefits and because he impregnated his girl at the time, and the other guy whose wife recently asked for a divorce after seven years of marriage. The marriage was also forced by their parents after the news of a pregnancy.

There are so many factors to consider. I'm the type that thinks about my family, his family, how my goals would affect us, can we live together, can he tolerate me/can I tolerate him...just so many different scenarios I would put us in before I ever think about committing, which is why I am friends for awhile before anything happens...so much crap!!! But that's just me. I'm way too cautious and I over-analyze all the time. I believe that to make it work, you need a lot of patience and persistence. Don't get lazy people!!!!

BTW, this thread is giving me a headache.

Edit: And my parents got divorced over money issues.

[JamesIII]

how many of your friends have you lost because either you were to busy with a relationship, or they were?

and i dont ever plan to stop making friends. why would you?

Oh i keep meeting people, and i know them , and they know me... but they ain't the kind of people who will be worried if i'm not at the next party....

Its just different somehow...

[RickStaaa]

are most females just not into the idea of starting a family w/out getting married?

[Zoupa]

Yeah I honestly don't see the point of marriage today. Do common law couples get the same legal benefits?

I don't need to marry to express my commitment or love. It's just about being realistic. Love and commitment are things that exist in the present and can change in the future. You can't be sure how you'll feel about each other later on, so why not prepare for it and not dig yourself into a marriage?

Doesn't make sense to me.

[wimpking]

80% of marriages end in divorce within 5 years. Gee, tempting.

[fenixzona]

for most people....this is a spin off from Al Pals thread about dumping your chicks...

My feelings on marraige are...its stupid and you will end up miserable, possibly poor, paying alomony, child support or wanting to kill yourself...Marriage was brought about LONG AGO when people who were 40 years old were ELDERLY and about to die. That being said, its not natural to stay with one person for years and years. When the average life span was 35 years marriage was cool, but now, fuk it.

Now the other reasons why not to get married are below (just my views, lets hear yours!):

50% of marriages FAIL completely leaving 50% that 'work' out (number keeps getting lower year by year)...In that 50% that 'works', how many of those couple are truly happy, have cheated etc etc...gotta say AT LEAST 50% of that group which leaves 25% of good marriages now...of that group, Im guessing a good % of those peeps are simply ugly, unsociable or social retards so they fit know they wont be pulling anythign better than they have....

You do the math...I will stay single, date hot girls, work on my career, play sports til Im 60 and do what I want.

Agreed!!! Oh, shyte, here comes my wife...

[lord infamous]

Every man needs a woman

/thread

[Androgen-X]

But if you're the only son on your side of the family, it is your duty to have children and continue the family name.

Says who

[Pnigro]

Every man needs a woman

/thread

You don't need to get married to get a woman.

/thread

[GoJu]

I think it would be amazing to find a girl who would be willing to put up with me and only me for the rest of our lives, lol, but the 50% thing does worry me (not that I plan to get married till I'm at least late 20's, 30ish, if at all); I do believe if someone wants kids they should be married, other than that I can see just being in a long-lasting relationship with a person.

[LovesMuscles]

I think it would be amazing to find a girl who would be willing to put up with me and only me for the rest of our lives, lol, but the 50% thing does worry me (not that I plan to get married till I'm at least late 20's, 30ish, if at all); I do believe if someone wants kids they should be married, other than that I can see just being in a long-lasting relationship with a person.

x2

I find something wrong with having kids out of wedlock. I'm not religious or anything (I'm catholic), but I've always looked at it at something that some people with little to no morals do.

[Zoupa]

x2

I find something wrong with having kids out of wedlock. I'm not religious or anything (I'm catholic), but I've always looked at it at something that some people with little to no morals do.

How is it immoral to have kids without being married?

[jackamo2887]

You do the math...I will stay single, date hot girls, work on my career, play sports til Im 60 and do what I want.

Have fun being "that guy"..the 30+ year old going to the clubs and trying to pick up girls and ****. Or dating hot girls when you're 50..thatll work out well for you. lol

[metaldrumr7]

marriage is a huge gamble at any age young or old. my dad got married young (19 I believe) with 4 kids and my mom walked out on us, fast forward 20 years and he gets remarried to a woman he has only known for under a year and it only lasts about 4 months. it was pretty obvious he jumped the gun both times