Marriage is pointless....

[Dangerous E]

like i siad. it isnt impossible, but you are up against some serious odds. GOOD LUCK!!

What odds? The fact that other people don't agree with my decision doesn't place me against any odds.

You guys are nuts.

[Jenflower2]

Wow, I'm really sorry a lot of you have been exposed to bad marriages. Seriously, what Jenflower said is true. But until that time you won't think differently. You just won't. Before I met Diane I thought pretty much the same way. I wasn't going to get married until at least in my 30's. Obviously that changed.

My own personal opinion on why marriages go bad? Selfishness and the mere fact the a lot of people settle. Don't ever settle for someone. If there's a doubt about the relationship when you're dating it won't last as a marriage. So I agree in that it's probably better off to stay single. Also, this world is driven by money. And unfortunately a lot of people surround their thoughts and problem around money. So when money issues hit, they need to blame someone. That's where the selfishness comes in.

My advice for you guys out there?

1) Don't live your life based on money
2) Don't marry a woman that demands an expensive ring. This alone should show you what to expect years to come.
3) Take a look at her older siblings and female relations. What are their attitudes? If your girl is hot then take a look at the mom. Is she basically good looking or has she just let herself go? I've seen way too many guys marry hot girls only to see them unhappy because their woman let themselves go. And that attitude comes from upbringing. You can basically see what you're going to get in a few years by looking at their mothers, aunts, etc. I know this sounds sexist, but I'm a guy and I'm going to look at this from a guys point of view.
4) How is her attitude towards you? Is she a giver? Does she feel it's important that you're happy? In ALL areas? This is a biggy, too.
5) How is she in bed? It's obviously difficult to tell after a couple of times, but if the sex is mind blowing every time .... you have a winner.

Also, don't confuse infatuation with love. The feelings ARE different and when you find the right person you'll know this. It will just seem natural.

All marriages have bad times. It's work, no lie about that. But it'll depend on the people involved and their attitudes on life that will make or break a marriage. It's work but it's work that's worth doing. And if you're with the right person then it won't feel like work ..... all the time, or even most of the time. It'll just feel natural.

Hope this helps. I've been married 24 years now and to tell you the truth, I find it very sad that people find this surprising that 2 people can last that long and still be into eachother.

GREAT post! Some very good points and it's wonderful to see someone who is happyily married and 24 yrs..wow..that's awesome!

[Nasty1]

what would happen to childeren if there was no love between the parents AT ALL???

Nothing.


My dad ran out on us when I was one and mom is a single mother.

So there was "no love between parents" and I am just fine. Great job, educated, strong headed, and am my own man.

[h8-machine]

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

x315 ive always seen marriage as a way to keep people under control, just like religion, anyone who isn't brainwashed by society can see that

not being married dosen't mean you'll be alone either, in the end, you'll make more money, have less stress and probably meet more people

my ideal plan is to live my life till im 60, then if i choose to marry it will only be for the purpose of passing on my name and it would be to a foreign women since they are more reliable

but i just turned 19 so wtf do i know

[luckyshark]

I'll check back in 10-20-30 years. I took my vows seriously. If there is a problem, we'll work it out. I'm not in one of those marriages that is perfect for a year, and then the people involved get bored or pissed off. We fight all the time, but it makes our relationship stronger. Also, I didn't get married for sex. I didn't get married for money. I didn't get married for land. I got married because I wanted to share my life with the girl I love. I'm not the typical male. I'm not worried about how much ass I can pull on the weekends. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't party. I want a family. I want a woman to experience all the things I've dreamt of doing, and she wants a man for the same reasons. Marriages fail these days because no one thinks about it, they just do it, or they are forced into it because of a pregnancy. We aren't going to have kids for at least three more years.

+Repped+ for being a REAL man! Take note, fellas. THIS is "Alpha."

[juice1348]

Actually I'm perfectly comfortable being alone. Not my fault most of you dudes like getting diseases and can't stay with one chick because she's out cheating on you. Anyways, I'm just saying that most people usually grow up...eventually...

EDIT: After reading most of you guys' posts that don't want to get married, it's probably best that you never do, as you only doubt yourself apparently. You will no doubt be contributing to the divorce factor, when you do meet that special someone. Ha ha.

Diseases? maybe, lol. But seriously bro...if you think your GIRL is the "faithful one" and will "never cheat", you better take a closer look. All girls cheat or have the ability to cheat if put in the right situation...

[Dangerous E]

Diseases? maybe, lol. But seriously bro...if you think your GIRL is the "faithful one" and will "never cheat", you better take a closer look. All girls cheat or have the ability to cheat if put in the right situation...

So do men, it's called trust. You earn it.

[Al_Pal]

remember - as males get older - we make less friends, and eventually our current ones fade away or move away or die etc etc

I'm 26 and already i have about 25% of the active friends i had when i finished highschool...

If i'm single when i'm 40, chances are i'll have one friend who will be too busy with his wife and kids/grandkids to keep playing video games and watch sports on the weekend!!!!

how many of your friends have you lost because either you were to busy with a relationship, or they were?

and i dont ever plan to stop making friends. why would you?

[luckyshark]

Diseases? maybe, lol. But seriously bro...if you think your GIRL is the "faithful one" and will "never cheat", you better take a closer look. All girls cheat or have the ability to cheat if put in the right situation...

Again, dude, you're basing your decision on fear/the "worst case scenario." Not everything in life ends badly, my man. There really are happy endings outside a massage parlor.

[Ellimist]

What odds? The fact that other people don't agree with my decision doesn't place me against any odds.

You guys are nuts.

Odds are stacked against you for marrying young. Thats not an opinion. Its a fact.

[juice1348]

91% of New Year's resolutions are failed/forgotten about in the first 6 months of the year...should you never make them, then?

33% (and rising) of college freshmen will drop out before graduating and never get a degree...should people stop trying to go to college and be happy @ Wal-Mart/McDonald's?

Less than 8% of the American population works out on a regular basis...should you just give up being fit?

1 in every 6,800 people will die in a motor vehicle accident every year...should you give up driving and stick to walking everywhere?

Man, my point is this: If you're using those stats as a crutch and an excuse, then you really don't want it in the first place. There's risk in EVERYTHING that you do in life. Hell, more people die in hospitals than out of hospitals, and that's supposed to be the safest place possible! If you really wanna be cool and "Alpha," then get out there and be sombody who says "F*ck statistics" and make a relationship work! Be a minority and be better than "average." I mean, to each his own and if you don't think you've got what it takes to make a great life together with a girl and have a family, then by all means...don't even try. Personally, I've got what it takes and I'm living my life to beat the statistics. I'll never let numbers hold me down. I'm living my life like it's on purpose and I'm here to WIN!

EACH one of those are faults of you own and not because of natural feelings and/or feeling or doings of another individual involved, except for driving and...well...those odds are low. Im giving you 50/50 odds at best (even less to be happily married) and it is not just you trying and being determined that will determine the success.

[audixe]

Diseases? maybe, lol. But seriously bro...if you think your GIRL is the "faithful one" and will "never cheat", you better take a closer look. All girls cheat or have the ability to cheat if put in the right situation...

Lol nope, I'm not stupid. I know what I want and what to look for, but then there's the old saying "don't trust anyone". But I would rather at least have someone to TRY to trust, rather than have no one at all...

[audixe]

Odds are stacked against you for marrying young. Thats not an opinion. Its a fact.

Odd's are a joke. The only thing young married people have against them are hormones and maturity levels.

[Al_Pal]

What odds? The fact that other people don't agree with my decision doesn't place me against any odds.

You guys are nuts.

odds. statistics say marriages dont work, so for your to work, it would be beating the odds.

[juice1348]

Again, dude, you're basing your decision on fear/the "worst case scenario." Not everything in life ends badly, my man. There really are happy endings outside a massage parlor.

hahah, but the ones at the parlour are the best! lol....seriously tho, you are correct, their are HAPPY endings in marriage. MY PARENTS have been HAPPILY married for 31 years now! They still hold hands in the mall for christ's sake and I am sooo happy for them. My dad is awesome and so is my mom, but I look at every, yes every (bar none) friend that they grew up with and not one is with the original person they married OR been faithful to that person.

[Ellimist]

Odd's are a joke. The only thing young married people have against them are hormones and maturity levels.

And you wouldn't consider those odds to be overcome?

[juice1348]

odds. statistics say marriages dont work, so for your to work, it would be beating the odds.

Thats a fact! You cant argue facts, numbers, stats etc. They are what they are. Can you 'beat the odds'? Sure, why not, but will you beat the odds? Odds are, probably not, lol. Follow me?

[Dangerous E]

I refuse to be included in such statistics. I haven't lived my life, so how the hell can someone put statistics and odds on what I'm going to do. I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing.

[audixe]

And you wouldn't consider those odds to be overcome?

Not really, I just think people need to be together longer than 2 years before getting married. Live together for 5 years and then see what you both want to do. I don't like odd's (in the way of sports betting for instance), because the only thing that matters is how you "play" at that time...that's it.

All you gotta do is find someone that makes you happy. Most of the time people say they are happy, but then you find out the back story and it's like they never even took a minute to look at all of the problems that eventually blew up in their face...

[YUL]

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

QFT.

What is with the fear of being independent? I realize there's a lot of societal pressure to be "married" and I understand the purpose of traditional families and such, but I just don't understand the marginal benefit of "marriage" beyond a committed, long term relationship between, besides the financial aspect.

[juice1348]

I refuse to be included in such statistics. I haven't lived my life, so how the hell can someone put statistics and odds on what I'm going to do. I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing.

You aren't comprehending what 'statistics and odds' are. If I were to say the odds of my football team converting a forth and one is 40% and teams have converted 16 out of 40 this year, that doesnt mean I cant convert it. It doesnt take into account my O Line is way bigger than other teams and I have the best running back in the league, its just stating that those are the odds and statistics.

So maybe you beat the 'odds', but odds are, you dont...get it?

[Al_Pal]

Only reason i could ever see getting married would be to better my lot in life. you people act like "love" is a real thing. Yes you can have strong obsessive feelings or emotions for someone, but remember, love is just a made up term to describe the irrational attraction so many of us have suffered. People think love is forever, but how often is it really? Have you ever fallin in and out of love? If so, what makes you think it is impossible for it to happen again? Especially when you factor in how much a situation or scenerio leads to "love" just as much as actualy compatibility. Ever had a friend who because of his current circumstance, you just knew he would fall in love with his next gf... no matter what? Now what happens when them circumstances change? what happens when you no longer have this hot 20 something pyt running around ****ing your brains out twice a day? Are you still gonna be in love with an obese 30 year old, with 4 kids, a mortgage payment that late, and 2 jobs?

think about it.

[namtaB]

Only reason i could ever see getting married would be to better my lot in life. you people act like "love" is a real thing. Yes you can have strong obsessive feelings or emotions for someone, but remember, love is just a made up term to describe the irrational attraction so many of us have suffered. People think love is forever, but how often is it really? Have you ever fallin in and out of love? If so, what makes you think it is impossible for it to happen again? Especially when you factor in how much a situation or scenerio leads to "love" just as much as actualy compatibility. Ever had a friend who because of his current circumstance, you just knew he would fall in love with his next gf... no matter what? Now what happens when them circumstances change? what happens when you no longer have this hot 20 something pyt running around ****ing your barins out twice a day? Are you still gonna be in love with an obese 30 year old, with 4 kids, a mortgage payment that late, and 2 jobs?

think about it.

Love is an emotional state. Marriage is a legal contract. The two are not dependent on each other, therefore mixing the two together is a dangerous cocktail. Tread carefully.

[luckyshark]

The stat that says most marriages fail is crap and here's why

Have your attention yet? I'll make this brief. Just engage your mind for a minute before quoting that stat again and think about it. If 2 people stay together forever, their marriage counts for 1 on the side of the scale for marriages that lasted and did NOT end in divorce. HOWEVER, how many of us know people who have been married 3, 4, even 5 times? Every one of that 1 person's failed marriages counts on the side of the scale of marriages that ended in divorce. That's not fair! Of course there's going to be an alarmingly high statistic for divorces...but that doesn't mean MOST people get divorced. In fact, since the stat is still close to 50/50, that means most people stay married forever! It's the people who have some "faithfulness defect" built into them that screws up the stats.

So please, stop quoting that fact as ANY reason to stay away from marriage because MOST people do NOT get divorced. The people that DO divorce end up having multiple marriages and that just messes things up when comparing the 2.

[Al_Pal]

Love is an emotional state. Marriage is a legal contract. The two are not dependent on each other, therefore mixing the two together is a dangerous cocktail. Tread carefully.

seriously. ever heard of love drunk? you cant enter a binding contract legally in the U.S. while drunk or insane... or a whole lot of other terms used to describe people in love.

[Dangerous E]

You aren't comprehending what 'statistics and odds' are. If I were to say the odds of my football team converting a forth and one is 40% and teams have converted 16 out of 40 this year, that doesnt mean I cant convert it. It doesnt take into account my O Line is way bigger than other teams and I have the best running back in the league, its just stating that those are the odds and statistics.

So maybe you beat the 'odds', but odds are, you dont...get it?

My life isn't a football game. Life doesn't have rules. Life changes all the time, and you can change life.

[Feny]

Nothing.


My dad ran out on us when I was one and mom is a single mother.

So there was "no love between parents" and I am just fine. Great job, educated, strong headed, and am my own man.

I'm glad... but you are the exception... not the rule...





You can't tell me you NEVER had any resentment or other issues because your parents split...

[Al_Pal]

The stat that says most marriages fail is crap and here's why

Have your attention yet? I'll make this brief. Just engage your mind for a minute before quoting that stat again and think about it. If 2 people stay together forever, their marriage counts for 1 on the side of the scale for marriages that lasted and did NOT end in divorce. HOWEVER, how many of us know people who have been married 3, 4, even 5 times? Every one of that 1 person's failed marriages counts on the side of the scale of marriages that ended in divorce. That's not fair! Of course there's going to be an alarmingly high statistic for divorces...but that doesn't mean MOST people get divorced. In fact, since the stat is still close to 50/50, that means most people stay married forever! It's the people who have some "faithfulness defect" built into them that screws up the stats.

So please, stop quoting that fact as ANY reason to stay away from marriage because MOST people do NOT get divorced. The people that DO divorce end up having multiple marriages and that just messes things up when comparing the 2.

LOL. WUT.

[juice1348]

The stat that says most marriages fail is crap and here's why

Have your attention yet? I'll make this brief. Just engage your mind for a minute before quoting that stat again and think about it. If 2 people stay together forever, their marriage counts for 1 on the side of the scale for marriages that lasted and did NOT end in divorce. HOWEVER, how many of us know people who have been married 3, 4, even 5 times? Every one of that 1 person's failed marriages counts on the side of the scale of marriages that ended in divorce. That's not fair! Of course there's going to be an alarmingly high statistic for divorces...but that doesn't mean MOST people get divorced. In fact, since the stat is still close to 50/50, that means most people stay married forever! It's the people who have some "faithfulness defect" built into them that screws up the stats.

So please, stop quoting that fact as ANY reason to stay away from marriage because MOST people do NOT get divorced. The people that DO divorce end up having multiple marriages and that just messes things up when comparing the 2.

NOOOO wrong! 50% of FIRST TIME MARRIAGE FAIL.... The rate is VERY high for 2nd 3rd and 4th Im sure....

[tabloid]

but i just turned 19 so wtf do i know

exactly