Depression Support Thread

[UpInSmoke]

I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and GAD a few months ago. Began having panic attacks last year, that's why I ended up getting help. I'm not on meds yet. Sounds weird, but I never knew I had anxiety or depression problems until I started thinking more about my life and trying to change things. I was so used to avoiding certain situations, or beating myself up mentally it just became the norm. Especially when my anxiety is high I get even more frustrated. I have a TON of self image issues also, and have had a pretty crazy life so far and have tons of regrets A lot of these problems tend to run in my family.

Since therapy I've been reading a lot of selp help books. I've noticed that I am constantly thinking negatively or talking down on myself. I think that has a lot to do with it. I'm trying to change the way I think, but it's a long process and my mind is being resistant lol. Anytime I allow myself to feel good, that negative thought or feeling comes back. It's like you've got to break yourself down to fix the problems, and relearn everything. I feel like I'm on a emotional roller coaster, except there's hardly any ups, just different levels of lows, if that makes sense. I've thought about suicide, but that's not a viable option for me. It would destroy my family, plus frankly I'm too scared. Things have gotten a little better now that I've been proactive about it.

Things I've found that have helped are therapy (sometimes talking with a professional is better because other people can't always relate or help), working out definitely, eating right, avoiding drugs/alcohol, 5-htp and St. Johns Wort have been helping since I'm not on meds, staying busy, read/learn about it and apply, change the way you think, meditate, yoga, and try to keep your mind off it and don't dwell. It's a bitch but you got to keep lifting those mental barbells and improve your mind along with your body. Good luck and sorry for my rambling scattered post haha. If anyone wants to talk I'm willing, so just let me know

[OxbowSky]

Welcome to the forum usertrack glad to see you're ready to hit the gym. It's good to see some of you reaching out and opening yourself up in here, i'm sorry to hear about some of your situations, but like previously stated: Please please please if depression turns into any sort of suicidal thoughts or anything that could cause harm for you, or anyone around you, please see professional help immediately. We're all on this site for a reason, we love the smell of the "iron" when we walk in that gym, and the way it sounds when it hits the ground, but not all of us can stay motivated all the time when outside of the gym to get back in there, so this site is pretty helpful with that! Not sure if anybody caught what I asked in my last post but if anybody knows where to post logs such as my diet and workout everyday and could fill me in that would be great as i'm still a bit of a noob to this site! Hope everybodys planning on hitting the gym today or tomorrow and hits it hard, the only way to go in there is to think this is going to be the last time I ever get to workout so what am I going to make of it, and do it everytime.

[oops2001]

I lost my mother exactly one year ago, for me that was the end of me also, my brain was dead I couldnt think of anything, couldnt do my job I was living in another world. It was like a shock to me that I was finding it impossible to accept at any cost.
I saw the best of friends, relatives disappearing, no one cared, no phone calls, no visits nothing. I was suicidal at that time, but then I thought about my papa and brother.
I got so weak that even if I used to lift a cup of tea, I could se my hand shaking. I was a loner crying all the time, I started to get serious asthma attacks, migrain attacks, immunity was as good as nothing.
My mother cared for me so much, she always tell me to be strong and she could never see my sad. One day I thought I cant live like this, I cant punish myself anymore. I thought Gym would be a good idea. I started going to the gym, I actually started to FOCUS after a long time. It gave me this great feeling because I was not thinking anything I was pushing myself harder.
I ll quote my another post, which I posted in another thread about 'what motivates you' and I replied
" When I enter the gym I leave my pain, stress, tensions, emotions, my world outside its doors. Its just raw me and raw iron, the feeling of being strong, the adrenaline rush, the intensity, the total manly feeling, the feeling to push yourself daily, the pain...everything that happens there motivates me how much I can pushmyself daily.... and I enjoy this 1 hour the most and I like the RAW feelings it gives me.
Live life live Healthy Stay Clean Stay RAW
Cheers !!"
As I started going to the gym, I was not only getting physically stronger but mentally too. One thing in life is the most important and thats ' SELF MOTIVATION'. No medicine, no anti-depressnt nothing can give you relief if you dont have that ' WILL POWER'. Be strong inside and you will live easily. Challenge yourself again nd again, compete with yourself, reward yourself and move ahead. Dont expect anything ever from anyone, be bold, worst thing happens $hit happens, life can be very unfair at times, but Life vs You..show this life what you got.
No tears No fear..Just the sweat on your body that you should see when you are doing the gym feeling the strongest, fearless, RAW.
God bless.

[OxbowSky]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother oops2001. Great post, you're making me want to walk out of work and go to the gym right now!

[oops2001]

Just give your 100% in everything you do and plan OxbowSky..its your life and your rules good luck.

[Suckmykiss]

1. Jump up out of your seat and smile from ear to ear for 10 minutes
2. Observe how you feel

[dweeegs]

Not been diagnosed with depression but don't want things to get that bad

I know I'm young and this story might sound stupid but here's what's bothering me, it's mostly self image stuff. Last year I was rejected by a girl I liked at the time. We were supposed to go on a date but she texted me saying she had second thoughts Christmas Eve. Felt like **** that night but whatev it's just one. Christmas morning, step on the scale, 235 lbs. All the presents I got were clothes, had to return them because I couldn't fit into them. So that's where my image problem started.

The next two months I lost 40 lbs. I would eat <1500 cals a week, I thought food was disgusting and I thought I was disgusting. I didn't care about my 275 bench or 405 DL or losing muscle, I just wanted all the fat to come off me (lifts suffered severely). I would run 2-3 miles 8-9 times a week, on top of playing basketball and on top of swimming 3-4 times weekly and lifting. I thought if my body was different than my problems would go away. Well they didn't; 6 more rejections, not just rejection but not even a date. Asked my best friend out who I've had a crush on for over a year cause she broke up with her bf. She said no and eventually got back with her bf, this was a tipping point for me.

The problem isn't only my body. I feel ugly on the inside too, the ****ing worst feeling on the planet. Lost another 10 lbs since then but I don't want to go into another slide like last time, I just look at myself and think "wow who the hell would want this".

Can any brahs help out with self image problems? Not that 'just be positive' stuff, I need like a harsh real talk to help out. Any advice or books or anything would help greatly

[UpInSmoke]

dweeegs I've got some of those self image problems too. They have a lot to do with my depression also, as I have been overweight most of my life. I also have a ton of nit picky little imperfections that I hate about myself, but it's foolish to constantly focus on them. I don't have anything to offer that would really change your whole mindset, you know.. But you've got to accept things you cannot change, and change what you can and be patient. Constantly improve things you don't like about yourself if you can. If not, don't dwell because there's no point in doing so. It will continue that mental cycle of beating yourself up mentally that will snowball into more depression.

What has been helping me a lot is changing the way I think. It's hard at first cause you won't believe what your saying. Read self-help books. Although cheesy sometimes, they can help quite a bit with this. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem was a good one for self image that I've read. Be grateful for who you are, because it can get SO much more worse than you sometimes realize. Don't be concerned if some people don't like the way you look, that's vain and will only cause problems for yourself. You have got to learn to love everything about yourself. You look better than most of the population because you workout. Be proud.

Just think there are 400 lb slobs that love their life and have awesome family's and wives. Even handicapped people, people with disabilities, burn victims, disfigured or just really marred up people manage to lead badass happy lives. Because they accept themselves. And do you think people in third world fukd up countries give a **** about looks? lol no, I'm willing to bet not really.

I hope this helped a little, like I said read a lot of books regarding this. They can explain things far better then I can. Good luck bro.

[OxbowSky]

It helps to find the root of depression so you can know where to target a change. I am basically in the same boat as you dweegs. Lack of confidence in my appearence (but also personality) causes my depression, but mines been there since I was little. I really feel like the only way to fix the problem, is to turn ourself into our personal perception of beauty. Yes, we should see ourself in a positive light and be thankful for what we have and the way we look, i'm not pushing that aside, but I do feel that if there's a lack of confidence and we have a set perception of beauty, that is healthy of course, we need to aim for that. Now of course some people with an eating disorder might view their beauty as very very very skinny and prevent them from eating, which obviously is what i'm not supporting, but having a 6 pack, and a muscular frame I honestly think would make me feel great...pretty much all the time. It's unfortunate that we are so stuck on appearence that this would cause these type of problems, but I am, and apparently you are too. I want to be liked, I want friends, and I already have an incredible girlfriend. The iron is the medicine, it's the cure to our issues, it's the hardwork and dieting that will result in the beautiful body we have set in mind. Confidence is key in life, while I am still working on acheiving it, the first step starts in the gym my friend, and now that you've got, i'd recommend hitting the weights hard

[oops2001]

Confidence is the sexiest wether you are skinny or all beefed up guy dsn't matter..confidence..the attitude..matters.

[SUPER_MANLET]

i feel lonely...

[SophieM]

Talk about things showing up when you need them. What a great idea for a thread!!

The first time I thought about suicide, I was in kindergarten or first grade. I thought about jumping out of a 3rd story window, but figured it wouldn't kill me. I was 14 the first time I went on anti-depressants and started self-injuring. I was 18 when I was hospitalized for anorexia at 86 lbs and 20 when I first got intensive outpatient for the PTSD.

A short history as to the causes behind all of this:

1) Multiple deaths when I was growing up (My mom had AIDS and this being so, I didn't live with her. I lived with my great aunt, grandpa, and grandma. My mom died when I was 11. This was the second death of a close family member as my grandma died when I was 7. My grandpa then died when I was 14.)

2) Custody battles until I was 11

3) Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse until I was 11 including being trafficked for sex.

A longer explanation, if your interested, can be read here:
http://blog.bodybuilding.com/SophieM...ion_abuse_and/

Bottom line: I really hate myself.

[usertrack]

Welcome to the forum usertrack glad to see you're ready to hit the gym. It's good to see some of you reaching out and opening yourself up in here, i'm sorry to hear about some of your situations, but like previously stated: Please please please if depression turns into any sort of suicidal thoughts or anything that could cause harm for you, or anyone around you, please see professional help immediately. We're all on this site for a reason, we love the smell of the "iron" when we walk in that gym, and the way it sounds when it hits the ground, but not all of us can stay motivated all the time when outside of the gym to get back in there, so this site is pretty helpful with that! Not sure if anybody caught what I asked in my last post but if anybody knows where to post logs such as my diet and workout everyday and could fill me in that would be great as i'm still a bit of a noob to this site! Hope everybodys planning on hitting the gym today or tomorrow and hits it hard, the only way to go in there is to think this is going to be the last time I ever get to workout so what am I going to make of it, and do it everytime.

Thanks for the welcome! If you want to post your diet and workouts each day, there's a Workout Journal sub forum in the Workout Programs section which you can find near the top of the main page (I would post a link but I don't have enough posts :/). Hope that helps!

I like the look of one of the stickied workout programs in that section so I'm going to train with that and hopefully get results. I'll be hitting the gym either tomorrow or the next day for my first workout. Want to make sure I get my planning right. This could be a change for good.

[TheSuperSteve]

Well the OP said not to be afraid to post so... here i go. He asked for it.

I'll try to keep it short. Depressed due to many reasons. Culinary School is tough and i'm not learning a thing in there. I'm getting bad grades mostly due to their teaching style. *Points at location* I'm from PR yet English is my best language. I struggle with my native language, Spanish. I cant even talk to people properly. Don't have friends in RL because of it. Which is another reason why i keep getting bad grades. Language. Our textbook is in English yet our exams are in Spanish. It doesn't make any sense at all. I get confused due to all the Spanish words i don't know and i get bad grades. I have to ask the Chef Teacher "What is -ingredient- called in English?" constantly during cooking. Its frustrating.

Things with the girlfriend arent too good either. I feel unfulfilled. She neglects our relationship constantly. I have to threaten to break up for her to snap out of it. I'm sick of having to do that to get her to act like a girlfriend.

I'm sick of my body. When i first started loosing weight back at Jan 2010, i was around 250+ pounds. I had no idea what i was doing. I did mindless cardio and no lifting. I ate very little. Sometimes as low as 500 cals a day. I used to pass out sometimes. Around April, i found BB.com and i learned how to change my body the right way. But the damage is done. I'm skinny fat. I went on a 3 month bulk and recently i've been cutting since December. I've gained tiny bits of muscle but my stomach still looks the same. All flabby and fat like. It feels like nothing i do can fix this. Not sure if i should keep cutting until i'm skin and bones or bulk until i'm a fat ass again. I keep going to failure on each set. Haha, i just dont know when to stop. Dont lift enough and i get lazy, lift too much and i reach failure on each set and feel like a wreck for the rest of the day.

Loosing my hair since i was 23. Not a good thing.

Job is a killer. Medical billing. They give me paper slips that look like where written by a 1 year old. Literally unreadable. They expect me to work when i cant even read my work material? I do what i can but the boss got pissed at me for not doing it all properly. I mean, what the hell? Its like telling someone to sweep the floor using only a tooth brush and then complaining that the floor is still dirty! Give me the right tools and the job will be done properly. That's all there is to it.

That's all. Guess it was long.

[dt13]

this is a great thread to have and I also suffer from this and it is hard to keep motivated with it. But I'm trying I really need to keep working out and taking in my daily nutrition cause I feel like I'm accomplishing something But it is hard

[OxbowSky]

Thank you usertrack for showing me where to post the workout logs!

TheSuperSteve it sounds like things are tough, i'm sorry about your girlfriend and the langauage troubles. I hope you will find a girl who holds the love needed to want to make you happy.
As far as being fat skinny, it probably feels tough, but you already dropped so much weight! You can obviously do wonderous things while exercising and I hope you feel much better for losing all that weight. As far as taking the bit of fat away, a lot of people have trouble with it, I think it really comes down to diet and genetics. If you clean bulk properly and then do a small cut i'd imagine you could be looking great! Maybe having a personal trainer to get you there is a good way to get things started.

dt13 you have to have to have to want it bad enough. If you know you're getting accomplishments from it, what's to hold you back?

[TexasGuy21]

I was rolling through moto and found this thread.
OP, severe kudos for opening this thread up. This is an incredibly valuable resource.
I fought depression for four years. It started in high school and I finally defeated it last year, although theres still days when it tries to pay me a visit.
My junior year in high school, I went to a funeral on average once every other month, the last being my Grandpa who was one of my biggest influences. Then on my graduation day my other grandparents got up and left and didnt speak to our family for over a year (still not on good terms). A few months after graduation my best friend, who lived with us at the time, told me he was joining the Marine Corps. This kid isnt my best friend, hes my brother as far as im concerned so when I heard this it killed me because I knew what I had coming. And sure enough, hes been in for two years now and I think about him daily and worry my ass off. All of this compounded with several other more minor circumstances left me in the darkest pit Ive ever seen in my life. Before it was over I had found myself at the top of a parking garage trying to judge how far out Id have to jump to miss the retaining wall and on another night swallowing a more tylenol than a person should. Im a thinker by nature. Its what I do, I analyze everything. Its simultaneously my biggest threat and my biggest asset depending on how I use it. Last year I finally started doing research on what exactly causes depression, it was that night that I realized it wasnt my fault. I wasnt weak, I wasnt less of a man because of my depression. Its was just a disorder with my receptors! I called my brother (hes the one I always talked to about it), talking 90 miles an hour telling him what Id read and explaining everything, and Ill admit it, I bawled my eyes out. I will never forget the next day. It was beautiful, I felt like myself. After 4 years of the worst pain youve ever felt, its undescribable how it feels to be completely and truly happy.

Guys! If youre struggling with depression, never forget that youre not alone! Thats why this thread is such an awesome resource. Talk to us! We dont know you, but we know where you are and what youre going through. We want to see you overcome it. Everyone above me has put up excellent tips and Im honestly proud of you everyone in here for not only overcoming it yourselves but also for putting your experience down in here in order to help others. Please, pm me if you want to talk or hit me up on aim.
-Josh

[OxbowSky]

Texasguy, that was a wonderful post! Truly an amazing thing for anyone to overcome depression. It sounds like you've had a lot of deaths, I am in the same boat with you. Thank you for posting that, and it really is great words to be able to hear from someone who is overcoming depression to speak against it for the people who are still working on beating it.

[TheSuperSteve]

TheSuperSteve it sounds like things are tough, i'm sorry about your girlfriend and the langauage troubles. I hope you will find a girl who holds the love needed to want to make you happy.
As far as being fat skinny, it probably feels tough, but you already dropped so much weight! You can obviously do wonderous things while exercising and I hope you feel much better for losing all that weight. As far as taking the bit of fat away, a lot of people have trouble with it, I think it really comes down to diet and genetics. If you clean bulk properly and then do a small cut i'd imagine you could be looking great! Maybe having a personal trainer to get you there is a good way to get things started.

Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, i've dropped a lot of weight. But i'm at the point again where my "thin" people clothes are beginning to be a bit too big. I used to have XXL shirts. Now i wear M. It seems like i need S sized shirts now since i'm getting really thin. Except for the belly fat of course. XD

With my diet, which is roughly 40/40/20 since i like the meals it gives me, i've been dropping 1-1.5lb a week with no problems. Even though i eat tons of carbs. The thing is, i'm not sure wether to keep dropping the pounds or do a clean bulk. I'm leaning more towards your suggestion though. I'd rather look a bit bigger than look like a skeleton. XD

The thing is, i've been training at home all this time. Mainly due to time issues. I never do cardio since i'm very active in culinary school. Cooking and all that for 6 hours.

Could you answer a quick question? I'm thinking of clean bulking really slowly. 1/2 a pound a week perhaps. Would that be preferable for minimizing fat gains and maximizing muscle gains? For how long should i keep this up? A whole year? I bulked before but i pretty much stuffed my face with food for 3 months. This time i wanna do it right, assuming there is a right way to do it. Thanks again, your encouragement helps a lot.

[SophieM]

How was everyone this weekend? I find weekends much harder than the week since it's so unstructured.

[usertrack]

There's a lot of time to fill (and think) at weekends - I've been pretty busy for this one so it hasn't been so bad. Went out to a club last night but got back at 1am and forced myself out of bed at 9. I'm trying to keep the sleep patterns regular and should sleep well tonight.

I've been preparing myself for my training in the gym for the first time over the weekend - sorting out a routine, making sure I've got the diet in place and such. Everything is in place except for the nagging doubts that I'm all-too-familiar with. I am at the stage where my anxiety is predictably throwing up every possible thing that could go wrong where I will make mistakes and be judged. If I can just make it through the door, that's going to be half the battle won.

[namesarehard]

I have social anxiety disorder. I remember the first time I had a panic attack. I was confused because it was such a normal situation and I just freaked out. I didn't know what was wrong with me growing up. I thought I was the only one. I refused to go to school and reclused. My parents forced me to go and took me to see a therapist. I couldn't even talk to her I was so shy and embarrrased. She thought I had ADHD and put me on rittalin which made my symptoms twice as worse. At school I hid from the other kids and couldn't face them. I would have a panic attack if the teacher called my name, even if it was just to get the results of a test. I wore my hood constantly and all I wanted was for the world to leave me alone. I had no friends, no girlfriend. It wasn't that I didn't want this, it was that I couldn't interact no matter how bad I wish I could have just been normal.
One day I was flipping through a magazine and saw an advertisment for zoloft which depicted the exact same symptoms that I was suffering from. It said something about social anxiety disorder on it and I knew right away that this is what I had. That day I learned that I was not the only person in the world suffering from this and that it is treatable. I went to the doctor and got a prescription. After a while of taking it I felt like a normal human being again. I had suffered from the disorder all through jr. high and high school. It affected my relationships with people and I missed out on a lot. I still get panic attacks some time but they are few and far between. I still suffer from inhibitions of feeling inadequate because I look very young for my age and I'm very non-threatening but I keep myslef very busy and I don't even have time to think about these things. I lost a big part of my life to this disorder but I'm dreaming now and I know I'm destined to do something big and important with my life, it is just matter of taking a step and walking. In the fall I am going to college to take police and investigation studies. I will get my diploma in 2 years and I will either apply to the police force or join the military police. I'm excited for the future and I know I'm going to accomplish great things, help a lot of people, be a positive role model and dream big. I am working out, getting strong and studying martial arts. I'm reading more, have a good paying job, a good network of close friends and I do not have a girlfriend but I am not a virgin which is great for someone who suffered from social anxiety disorder for so long. If any of you have this, go talk to your doctor because you don't have to live with it.

[OxbowSky]

TheSuperSteve i'd really recommend if you can find time somehow to get a gym membership, it is such an improvement from working out at home. I'm no expert on diet and fitness (yet ) but in my opinion as far as your clean bulk goes you still want to be stuffing your face with food, just the right foods, no more pizza and more chicken breasts and steaks. I'd keep it up until your body responds the way you want it to. Until you get the muscle and strength that makes you feel happy (and obviously some fat will come with it) then do a small cut and get rid of most of the fat...then you'll be strong, and with a small amount of fat. At least that seems to be the thing that makes sense to me.

Sophie, thanks for asking! Mine has been amazing! Spent friday and saturday night with my girlfriend and went to UFC late last night to watch an amazing knockout! Today I started my first day back in the gym and it feels absolutely amazing, no stress
You just have to find things to do over the weekend, clean, go out for a long walk, do things to take up the time so you don't have to think so much!

Usertrack you can do this, I got back in there today and i'm telling you I feel great! I really do, I haven't been this happy in a long time to know that i'm back and very serious about staying with it.

Namesarehard i'm happy to hear that you found something to get rid of your anxiety disorder. It sounds like you're walking on a road to a great life and I hope you keep true to yourself to keep it up!

[usertrack]

Sophie, thanks for asking! Mine has been amazing! Spent friday and saturday night with my girlfriend and went to UFC late last night to watch an amazing knockout! Today I started my first day back in the gym and it feels absolutely amazing, no stress
You just have to find things to do over the weekend, clean, go out for a long walk, do things to take up the time so you don't have to think so much!

Usertrack you can do this, I got back in there today and i'm telling you I feel great! I really do, I haven't been this happy in a long time to know that i'm back and very serious about staying with it.
!

Those words were definitely something for me to consider (as well those from the other members on this thread...keep it up!) and I've just arrived at the conclusion that well, this is my body, this is my life and I damn well want that feeling of accomplishment too.

Its times like these...perhaps now more than ever I feel angry/frustrated for being my own worst enemy and not entitling myself to that which I could achieve - be it with going to the gym, keeping up with my studies or making the most out of the time I spend with friends. I'm trying to overcome all this bit by bit and I will try to remember tomorrow that I can do this. There's no point feeling serious and passionate about something yet doing nothing about it.

In fact, I have a quote on the wall in front of me which says:
'It is not just words but action which drives forward the good of oneself'. ...or as Socrates puts it more simply: 'To be is to do'. ...and seeing as we're in the motivation section, here's another one: 'We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.'

I'm going to go because if I'm going to miss the first opportunity to get things going, then I'm failing to control my anxiety and instead will allow it to control me - something that can continue indefinitely. That, and the ideas put forward in those quotes are things which make me understand the importance of starting something with the mind to finishing it, without fear and without undue hesitation.

^This is all part of what's been building up in my mind as I get to a better place mentally to workout in the gym tomorrow but it also applies to life in a wider way. Hope its of some use sharing these thoughts.

[SophieM]

There's a lot of time to fill (and think) at weekends - I've been pretty busy for this one so it hasn't been so bad. Went out to a club last night but got back at 1am and forced myself out of bed at 9. I'm trying to keep the sleep patterns regular and should sleep well tonight.

I've been preparing myself for my training in the gym for the first time over the weekend - sorting out a routine, making sure I've got the diet in place and such. Everything is in place except for the nagging doubts that I'm all-too-familiar with. I am at the stage where my anxiety is predictably throwing up every possible thing that could go wrong where I will make mistakes and be judged. If I can just make it through the door, that's going to be half the battle won.

There is a lot of time to fill and think during the weekends. I hate it. Even though I worked Saturday and had a class today, it still wasn't an easy weekend and I took naps both days. I doubt I "needed" the sleep though.

I hope you make it to the gym tomorrow. I'm planning on getting back on track with the gym tomorrow also. When I'm consistent, I seem to feel much better and not nearly as depressed.

I lost a big part of my life to this disorder but I'm dreaming now and I know I'm destined to do something big and important with my life, it is just matter of taking a step and walking. In the fall I am going to college to take police and investigation studies. I will get my diploma in 2 years and I will either apply to the police force or join the military police. I'm excited for the future and I know I'm going to accomplish great things, help a lot of people, be a positive role model and dream big. I am working out, getting strong and studying martial arts. I'm reading more, have a good paying job, a good network of close friends and I do not have a girlfriend but I am not a virgin which is great for someone who suffered from social anxiety disorder for so long. If any of you have this, go talk to your doctor because you don't have to live with it.

This is great to read!! I'm so glad you found something that was so helpful!

Sophie, thanks for asking! Mine has been amazing! Spent friday and saturday night with my girlfriend and went to UFC late last night to watch an amazing knockout! Today I started my first day back in the gym and it feels absolutely amazing, no stress
You just have to find things to do over the weekend, clean, go out for a long walk, do things to take up the time so you don't have to think so much!

Glad you're having a great weekend. That's awesome. I need to make some plans for the weekend but working most Saturdays and having class on Sunday doesn't leave a lot in the way of going out.

I try to keep myself as busy as possible, not only during the weekends but during the week too. It seems I just can never be busy enough and any down time my mind just seems to wander to places I'd rather it not go. Even after I bring it back to the future, most times the damage is unfortunately done.
~~~~~
I just woke up from a nap I didn't need. I did do some lifting downstairs first though, which I guess counts for something. Back to work tomorrow. Getting a tooth filled on Tuesday, and going to therapy on Wednesday. Just another week.

[BobRawkz]

My names Rob,Am from Liverpool,U.k, am 19, I suffered from depression bit time, Always worried about not getting a job. I use to eat cakes, buscuits and **** everyday. went from 13 stone to 21 stone in 2 years.. i spent all last year getting down from 21 stone to 17 and half.. But i hit a down point before X-Mas and point on a bit of weight. i would love to get down to 15 stone before my 20th birthday (21 june).

At the moment, i keep dipping into depression mode now and then. I have Zero Confidence, i struggle to talk to people in person, i never get on a bus that has more than 5 people on.. I struggle to make friends.

[OxbowSky]

Usertrack I expect to hear back from you tonight telling us how your workout was!

Sophie, maybe it doesn't have to be "just another week." Is there anything you've been really wanting to do but just haven't got to? Going to an amusement park? fishing? Try mixing it up a bit this week

Is it bob or rob? lol.
I'm just going to guess that 17 stones is 240 pounds? Do you know the root of your low confidence, so that you can begin to fix the problem? Or is it that you're not satisfied with your weight?

[usertrack]

Question to anxiety sufferers here:
What do you do when you start feeling panicky, how do you deal with your anxiety when it arises?

Well, the good news is, I made it into the gym. It was peak time this afternoon and I got a friendly induction which included showing me around and a check up on my form for some upper body exercises in the lighter weight section...not sure what else to call it. XD So the result was a pretty light workout...felt more like a warmup. :P

I've been recommended to join a gym class - I'm considering it, mainly because it would help break down my own barriers that I've mentioned. I'm planning to come into the gym earlier next time so I can use the area with barbells and the heavier weights. Not to say I can lift heavily but I would like to start learning the compound exercises I need for my goals and get used to everything.

I was anxious before and nervous during the whole visit today (which was probably most obvious when I wandered into the free weights area, looked around confused and left) but I'm pretty sure this will only get easier to deal with as I familiarise myself more. In the meantime, I'm having a consultation with a therapist tomorrow (something I finally got around to arranging this morning).

On the whole its been a good day and my mind has been a lot clearer at the end of it for having accomplished certain things I've been putting off way too long.

[BobRawkz]

Is it bob or rob? lol.
I'm just going to guess that 17 stones is 240 pounds? Do you know the root of your low confidence, so that you can begin to fix the problem? Or is it that you're not satisfied with your weight?

Rob or bob lol... My low confidence started when i noticed that i was huge, i use to see myself in the mirror and i use to think i looked slim, then people started to call me fat and i thought they where messing about till i noticed i was fat. Since then, i kinda went into my own world by drifting apart from my friends etc ... am now very a quiet person, i don't really speak to many people because i always think that they dont wanna be near me or talk to a fat person. i show them the picture what i use to be like (when i was happy and slim) and they are always shocked and dont believe me. kinda upsetting like, but am working on it..!

Its good to actually talk about this to someone.. even if where 3000 miles apart lol

[SophieM]

Sophie, maybe it doesn't have to be "just another week." Is there anything you've been really wanting to do but just haven't got to? Going to an amusement park? fishing? Try mixing it up a bit this week

I actually had a really good workout today for the first time in a long time. Nothing really on my "to do" list right now, at least no in the winter LOL.

Question to anxiety sufferers here:
What do you do when you start feeling panicky, how do you deal with your anxiety when it arises?

I don't know how to answer this. Usually, I have to get away from everyone and get someone alone to get myself to calm down. Whether or not I can do this, it all depends.

Well, the good news is, I made it into the gym.

YAY!!!! Awesome.